Transcending deep rooted fear?

[Carlybee]

Growing up in a crazy family I’ve learned to become quite jumpy and fearful and I struggle to transcend it. My body goes into fear mode occasionally without even a conscious thought, I’m guessing it’s the fight or flight mode. I have just completed reading the wave material, I had days of feeling totally disillusioned with despair and had core belief systems smashed and pulled out from underneath me, oh boy the wave material was a ride on a wave in itself!

I had nightmare after nightmare (mostly of huge tidal waves engulfing me and now I have a strange fear of large waves..and living on the Australian cost in summer that sucks lol) I would listen to the wave series at night before sleep (I made an audio of the wave on my ipod and I would fall asleep with it in my ears every night lol, having to rewind hours of it due to falling asleep) anyway the thing is, I know when the wave comes, I need to be in the best frequency space possible in my mind, because I know being fearful is the worst frequency mode to be in during this time, and I think that the apprehension of remaining fearless no matter what is what in itself is making me fearful. Sometimes I can’t tell if what I feel is fear or just a surge or change in energy…as I am quite sensitive to energy sensations and it seems to be getting more intense these days, where some days I can sense every atom in my body spinning and vibrating (it’s a nice feeling) but being around large crowds of people or negative individuals I almost feel sick and can’t handle the sensations.

I was wondering if anyone else is this sensitive, or feels energy surges, and gets electric shocks from metal shopping carts too lol! But…going back to that crazy reptilian part of the brain or the flight /fight response I mentioned earlier, is there an exercise or way to transcend this? Hypnosis maybe? I meditate frequently, I also do the pipe breathing and stretching exercises Laura has shown us, and I have read tones of information on the nature of fear, but it still floods my body over the sometimes silliest things and I’d like to be able to control it or at least find the core belief or the source of it.. Any assistance or guidance would be greatly appreciated…and thanks so much for your time, Carly :)

 

[knowledge_of_self]

Hey Carlybee

My suggestion would be to begin to read the 5 recommended psychology books.

Narcissism "Big Five"
Myth of Sanity - Martha Stout
The Narcissistic Family - Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert M. Pressman
Trapped in the Mirror - Elan Golomb
Unholy Hungers - Barbara E. Hort
In Sheep's Clothing - George K. Simon

I have to say that my initial thought is that maybe your fear stems from some sort of trauma in your life.

Growing up in a crazy family I’ve learned to become quite jumpy and fearful and I struggle to transcend it. My body goes into fear mode occasionally without even a conscious thought, I’m guessing it’s the fight or flight mode.

I think it is indeed fight or flight mode. Martha Stout writes quite a bit about this in her book Myth of Sanity, which I highly recommend. It teaches you a lot about trauma and the affects of it on your psyche.
If you read these books, you may find out something about yourself and your past/childhood that would help you overcome this fear.

But…going back to that crazy reptilian part of the brain or the flight /fight response I mentioned earlier, is there an exercise or way to transcend this? Hypnosis maybe? I meditate frequently, I also do the pipe breathing and stretching exercises Laura has shown us, and I have read tones of information on the nature of fear, but it still floods my body over the sometimes silliest things and I’d like to be able to control it or at least find the core belief or the source of it..

It’s good that you’re doing EE. You should keep at it, and be patient with yourself. It takes time to get at deeply rooted issues such as fear that may originate from trauma. So just keep doing EE, read and learn more! In time, things will become clearer and you WILL get to the source of it! This is my only suggestion perhaps others can help more.

Good luck :)

 

[Jacques]

Growing up in a crazy family I’ve learned to become quite jumpy and fearful and I struggle to transcend it. My body goes into fear mode occasionally without even a conscious thought, I’m guessing it’s the fight or flight mode. I have just completed reading the wave material, I had days of feeling totally disillusioned with despair and had core belief systems smashed and pulled out from underneath me, oh boy the wave material was a ride on a wave in itself!

As suggested by Deedlet, i would recommend to read those 5 psychology books.

 

[Nienna]

Deedlet has some very good advice and I second it.

Also you should start the Eiriu Eolas breathing/meditation program. This helps with the cleansing of negaitve emotional/mental/physicala toxins.

Next should be for you to look at the Diet and Healath board. And in it you will find articles about Ultra Simple Diet which is very important in finding out what foods we have sensitivities to so that we can eliminate them completely, and The UltraMind Solution Quizzes. These quizzes are used to see just what supplements your body could use to get itself back up to par.

These are very important things to do if you want to get yourself ready for the times to come.

And most important is cleaning your maching, getting rid of programs (rewiring the brain), which the books recommended by Deedlet will be a big help in.

Happy Reading! :)

 

[Laura]

Carly, yes, others have had many similar experiences as you describe, myself included. That hypersensitive state of being is what drove me for years and years and years to search for answers and it is the finding of those answers partly chronicled in The Wave. There has been so much more since then that I can hardly begin to recount it. It seems that once I had put the Wave out there, it attracted many others and as a group, the energy has accelerated the learning for all of us. This forum and a lot of other projects are the result of that gathering together of those who See and seek to serve.

But, of course, as you note, the fear must be dealt with. As I wrote in my response to your intro post, we have a great healing Breathing & Meditation program that is available free. There is also a very long thread on the forum here where everyone shares their experiences for the benefit of all.

So, you just calm down, breathe... and rest assured that there is a path that helps you to deal with these issues, that enables you to become Fearless and Free. What you do after that is up to you, but most of us feel that it is our duty and obligation to serve the Universe by helping others.

Again, welcome.

 

[Carlybee]

Thanks so much for the book recommendations on those five books, also health and diet I have neglected since having a child and didn’t even consider it so thanks that will be a good idea to detox the body as well as the brain.

I think those 5 books will be spot on in their assistance as ever since I was a child, I used to ask some pretty deep questions for example when I was 5, I asked my Mother “well if there is “God” then how was God created? It was then that I realized that parents don’t know everything lol and I think my deep rooted fear comes from un answered questions?? As for the fight/flight responses yes it may well be from childhood trauma ie: I was kicked out of home at 16 by a physically and emotionally abusive Step Father and had a powerless but very loving Mother suffering from Bi Polar Disorder afraid to stand up to him. I take it as a blessing I left at 16 as I would have become a mess if I had stayed in that destructive and volatile family situation.

I went to live in Sweden on exchange at age 18 to work with horses and lived with a Swedish family for 12 months. This experience brought me independence, expanded my awareness for living in different environments and cultures, having no need to own material things, I just learned to be in the moment and appreciate my surroundings and people, but I didn’t come out totally unscathed from growing up with an aggressive Step Father and a Bi Polar Mother I guess, and unfortunately while I had broken free and flown the nest overseas, my Mother was suffering back home so I returned to care for her but she suicided shortly after anyway so I dealt with that and the guilt must have got the better of my Step Father as he too suicided some years later. This was a long time ago now and the grieving is over but there has to be some residue anxiety and fears to transcend from those experiences so I think the E.E breathing is helping as some old emotional stuff has come up doing the meditation part which can be overwhelming but it’s better to face the fear of it coming up and allow it to release? Thanks again for the advice…now I have lots of reading to do! ;)

Namaste
C x

 

[Buddy]

I was wondering if anyone else is this sensitive, or feels energy surges, and gets electric shocks from metal shopping carts too lol! But…going back to that crazy reptilian part of the brain or the flight /fight response I mentioned earlier, is there an exercise or way to transcend this? Hypnosis maybe? I meditate frequently, I also do the pipe breathing and stretching exercises Laura has shown us, and I have read tones of information on the nature of fear, but it still floods my body over the sometimes silliest things and I’d like to be able to control it or at least find the core belief or the source of it.. Any assistance or guidance would be greatly appreciated…and thanks so much for your time, Carly :)

I experience a kind of hypersensitivity at times, it seems. I'll be thinking in certain subject areas and all of a sudden I might get a chill and start shivering. At that point, I get up and walk around and do some pipe breathing. The relaxation effect is powerful and bolstering.

Also, I notice that when around certain negative people, or in certain situations, or just before getting that close, my stomach might feel like it's going through little spasms and I feel my entire torso tense. Belly breathing and a deliberate release of tension in the body helps.

The only other thing I can think of at the moment is that occasionally, I get a sense of energy or something going on around me that I can't see and I have some kind of visceral reaction to it. That doesn't really bother me, though, because the way I grew up I had learned to suppress or repress excitement and so I wound up confusing excitment with fear. This kind of reaction I remember as the feeling of being a part of something alive! Or perhaps just feeling life. In terms of the physiological response, fear and excitement are identical, as Laura writes in the Wave.

 

[rs]

For what it is worth.

I have not had any childhood traumas like you describe but have always found myself in a position where I was living in fear, mostly of emotional situations. A couple of things have changed recently that have had an impact on my ability to manage my fears. I will present them in no particular order.

Within the past two years, my life has turned upside down and I went through a crisis that literally took me to the razor's edge of my emotional and intellectual stability. My fear levels through this crisis was simply off the charts and I would get myself internally wound up so tight I thought I would explode. I read Pema Choedrone who is/was a Buddhist nun. She wrote a number of books, but what I got out of the ones I read was that the biggest problem with facing your fears is that you become so tired and involved with resisting them. The only way to master your fear is to allow yourself to feel it, to embrace it and accept it as part of you.

I read Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes, by William Bridges. In this book he describes that there are lots of events in your life birth, death, divorce, promotion, firing, that are transitions. A transition is a shift from a "stable" place in your life, to an unstable place, to a place where there is a new stability. The problem most people have with transitions is two fold, first in recognizing the transition (for example, one might not recognize a job promotion as a major transition) and second in resisting the middle unstable phase and rushing through it. One must relax into the unstable phase and allow things to unfold by themselves. After a divorce, many people cannot stand the middle unstable phase, and this is one of the causes of the "rebound relationship" - one becomes so focused on removing themselves from that uncomfortable unstable transition region that they simply rush into something anything that will make the perceived pain go away.

I bought a refrigerator magnet with a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt: "Do something every day that scares you." It is a reminder that the only way to conquer your fear is to face it, to feel it and to do the actual work of overcoming it.

I started to indoor rock climb - which at my age is a pretty non-linear choice. Sure you are tied in with the rope, but the first time I found myself 30 feet in the air (ten ish meters), hanging on for dear life to these artificial "rocks" mounted to the wall, I was scared out of my mind. Stretching your climbing skills and trying things that are guaranteed to have you fall is still a rush. I have taken up ballroom dancing. Not only is it difficult (for me anyway), but it really stretches my "too embarrassed to do <blah>" thing. As the saying goes "dance like nobody is watching".

I read the Pleiadian series from Barbara Marciniak. They were one of the "precursors" to the Cassiopeians only a little more warm and fuzzy and tremendously oversexed. One of the statements they made (and I am paraphrasing not quoting) was that "you are what you are afraid of". I interpret this in two ways. First, one aspect of fear is that one is afraid of the parts of themselves they do not accept, understand or desire. A second aspect of fear is that you have to accept that you are afraid, allow that fear to become a part of you and accept its presence in your life. You cannot pick and choose those aspects of yourself that you wish for and like, in this moment. You can become someone else, but you cannot change who you are at this very moment. You can only accept it or resist it. Another thing they said (and again, I am paraphrasing, not quoting - I don't have Laura's photographic memory) is "avoid drama, don't think about it, don't talk about it to your friends". This one really resonated with me because I can wind myself into a tizzy in a short period. Again, I interpret this two ways. Don't talk about your drama (i.e. your fight with your internal demons) to your friends and relations because they don't really care! I don't mean this to sound mean or callous, just factual. They have "their own dramas" to worry about, so they really are not that interested in spite of what they might say. Second, by talking about them and dwelling on them, you feed them and empower them. The only way to deal with your dramas is to accept them into your life and allow them to define you. After all, they really do define you, whether you accept them or not. They don't have to define you tomorrow but it is a simple fact that they define you today.

These are things that have helped me. All the best.

 

[annp]

Growing up in a crazy family I’ve learned to become quite jumpy and fearful and I struggle to transcend it. My body goes into fear mode occasionally without even a conscious thought, I’m guessing it’s the fight or flight mode.

Hi Carlybee - i also have dealt with this for years. The breathing and meditation program is helping and i use the pipe breathing often to calm down when I feel jumpy. I grew up in a nutty family and my Mom was so fear-laden I am sure I took on much of her fears by osmosis. i have read the 5 books recommended here and they have helped tremendously - just knowing some of the possible causes of these reactions has helped me put much of my fears in perspective.

One thing i have also learned is that physical exercise of almost any kind helps. It seems to take the edge off of much of the nervous energy created by fear and then gives me some quiet calm to look more objectively at what might be triggering the fear.

Also - i have found that I am very physically empathic and can be reacting to an emotional state that a close friend or family member is experiencing miles away. If i get quiet and ask myself if this might be the case, i can often sense who or where it is coming from. If i talk to that person, the emotion usually subsides. Not sure if this could be true in your case, but thought i would mention it.

I was wondering if anyone else is this sensitive, or feels energy surges, and gets electric shocks from metal shopping carts too lol!

Interesting..i am regularly shocked every time i go grocery shopping! i detest those metal cold cases at the store and the metal shopping carts. Never thought to mention it to anyone else and i have not seen anyone else jumping while being shocked at the store. Now that it is so cold here, i can keep my gloves on in the store! Strange!

Keep reading and doing the breathing/meditation - it really helps. Welcome to the forum!