We are food

aragorn said:
You guys talk about ‘vibration’ and ‘raise our vibration’, and I suspect you mean by that raising ones awareness and ‘cleaning ones machine’ (psychology, diet, knowledge, applying knowledge)?

This terminology can be encountered in many New Age circles, and sometimes it is just stated as a fact; that by doing this or that you ‘raise your vibration’, without saying what the * that actually means (I’m not talking about you guys).

Having said that, I’m sure there’s some sort of ‘vibration’ or ‘aura’ that we emit, that the critters can read to analyze us. However, the New Agers are messing up people’s heads with using the terminology too loosely, and perhaps that’s their intention. Luckily, we have our forum where these concepts can be talked about on a more practical level.

Just some thoughts that came while reading this thread...
Click to expand...
Your point is valid. Before, I responded to you in a snarky manner. I shouldn't have done that. I apologize.

I guess the subject of being food and having to always work on our machine is touchy for me at the moment. Im undergoing major battles both within and from without. I struggle to keep myself from going under, and its tiring. This place is where I hone my thoughts and keep my mind active to keep the beast at bay... If I resort to bad sarcasm, its an automated defense mechanism if I perceive something as a slight to my thinking because this place and other forumites like yourself matter, and I'm insecure.

Im going to disclose something if you don't mind. Its prolly best done in the Swamp but I don't feel like doing that and want to respond to you adequately, and you seem a solid chap and seasoned Forum veteran for my 'outpouring'.

When I said its a struggle to keep myself from going under... Actually I did go under - and hard!

I attended a wedding at the end of summer last year in a huge forest in Poland. Everything was delightful and the brides fathers' vodka-moonshine flowed like a treat. I had an encounter there, sex related, and it sent me into a complete tailspin thereon after.
My "encounter" triggered my sexual repression issues in a big way - in conjunction with unaddressed issues of pride and presumption. I went into a kind of 'sexual overdrive' state of mind sending me plummeting into a very dark place, right down into the abyss. Much darker and deeper than I've ever thought I could descend. I didn't need to be demonically possessed for it to happen, nor to be under psychic attack (though Im certain the latter I am, but whatev, aren't we all). All any-a-said 'dark entity' had to do was watch me, patiently... ever so patiently... and wait for the perfect moment of vulnerability to 'send in' and activate my most darkest recesses left festering, undisturbed, all this time lying dormant unawares. It knew the weak-points in my armor all too well, and duly turned the very armour of mine own defense into mine own entrapment. I became imprisoned by the very fortress I constructed around myself over the years to keep out the forces of darkness, only to discover I am my own force of darkness allowing for symbiotic compatibility with the external dark entities I fought to keep out for so long.

The worse thing about it all was all the while I was consciously aware - I knew - what was happening to me but I DIDN'T CARE ! ! ! I didn't want anything to do with Cassiopaea, or SOTT, I didn't want to look at it, much less think of Laura or Joe or Whomever... I wanted to scrub ALL of here from my mind even though I knew, during that time, turning to this forum was my best - and ONLY - chance for salvation. The irony of it all is; the very last message I read before crashing-and-burning was from Laura responding to a comment reminding me of the importance of networking. LOL (its ok please do laugh... I was laughing too in a madness sort of way - on the way to Hell)
I only managed to crawl back after stupendous effort because my personal relationships and employment was being seriously compromised and was faced with the very stark realization I was going full on self-destruct (when I finally did crawl back I couldn't for the life of me remember my very-memorable login and had to request a password reset... scrubbed from my mind)
It really was quite scary looking back. I was a totally different person. I was totally dark. I've never experienced anything like it. I'm still reeling from it it now, but its waning. It was touch and go again at one point but Laura rolled on an after-response to me about forumites being under psychic attack and, again, the importance of being in a network (no-doubt sensed some of us needed a reminder - I certainly did) and, coupled with her timely SRT thread - it really hit home!

I want to work with people here, but struggle with it because for so long all I know is to fight 'to stay right'. Fighting battles externally and internally. And always fighting alone because betrayal is all too common an experience. I guess I'm afraid to fully commit and Trust. I kick back sometimes when guys like you help pointing out off-keel concepts when I should know to accept constructive criticism (not that you were criticizing, mind) because its all part of bettering ourselves and to help each other as a network, and to be part of this Network. I know this, but in being an interactive member of this Network is to dissolve my inhibitions, my ego and narcissism, pride and presumptions... To not be food for the moon.
I keep peeling back the ugly layers of my personality to only reveal more ugliness beneath the one before last. I get frustrated. And the attacks... Always the persistent attacks... "I must keep STRIVING", I say it to others but do I practice what I preach? Not really. I'm probably the biggest hypocrite on this Forum.

Thats all I wanted to say (for now). Hope I wasn't too full on. We've never conversed before now (I don't recall) but my disrespect to you, even if only slight, urged me to explain myself.

My machine is a mess. Its going to take an age to clean. Please, feel free at any point to correct any errors of mine in future.

Be well.
 
BlackCartouche said:
Your point is valid. Before, I responded to you in a snarky manner. I shouldn't have done that. I apologize.

I guess the subject of being food and having to always work on our machine is touchy for me at the moment. Im undergoing major battles both within and from without. I struggle to keep myself from going under, and its tiring. This place is where I hone my thoughts and keep my mind active to keep the beast at bay... If I resort to bad sarcasm, its an automated defense mechanism if I perceive something as a slight to my thinking because this place and other forumites like yourself matter, and I'm insecure.

Im going to disclose something if you don't mind. Its prolly best done in the Swamp but I don't feel like doing that and want to respond to you adequately, and you seem a solid chap and seasoned Forum veteran for my 'outpouring'.

When I said its a struggle to keep myself from going under... Actually I did go under - and hard!

I attended a wedding at the end of summer last year in a huge forest in Poland. Everything was delightful and the brides fathers' vodka-moonshine flowed like a treat. I had an encounter there, sex related, and it sent me into a complete tailspin thereon after.
My "encounter" triggered my sexual repression issues in a big way - in conjunction with unaddressed issues of pride and presumption. I went into a kind of 'sexual overdrive' state of mind sending me plummeting into a very dark place, right down into the abyss. Much darker and deeper than I've ever thought I could descend. I didn't need to be demonically possessed for it to happen, nor to be under psychic attack (though Im certain the latter I am, but whatev, aren't we all). All any-a-said 'dark entity' had to do was watch me, patiently... ever so patiently... and wait for the perfect moment of vulnerability to 'send in' and activate my most darkest recesses left festering, undisturbed, all this time lying dormant unawares. It knew the weak-points in my armor all too well, and duly turned the very armour of mine own defense into mine own entrapment. I became imprisoned by the very fortress I constructed around myself over the years to keep out the forces of darkness, only to discover I am my own force of darkness allowing for symbiotic compatibility with the external dark entities I fought to keep out for so long.

The worse thing about it all was all the while I was consciously aware - I knew - what was happening to me but I DIDN'T CARE ! ! ! I didn't want anything to do with Cassiopaea, or SOTT, I didn't want to look at it, much less think of Laura or Joe or Whomever... I wanted to scrub ALL of here from my mind even though I knew, during that time, turning to this forum was my best - and ONLY - chance for salvation. The irony of it all is; the very last message I read before crashing-and-burning was from Laura responding to a comment reminding me of the importance of networking. LOL (its ok please do laugh... I was laughing too in a madness sort of way - on the way to Hell)
I only managed to crawl back after stupendous effort because my personal relationships and employment was being seriously compromised and was faced with the very stark realization I was going full on self-destruct (when I finally did crawl back I couldn't for the life of me remember my very-memorable login and had to request a password reset... scrubbed from my mind)
It really was quite scary looking back. I was a totally different person. I was totally dark. I've never experienced anything like it. I'm still reeling from it it now, but its waning. It was touch and go again at one point but Laura rolled on an after-response to me about forumites being under psychic attack and, again, the importance of being in a network (no-doubt sensed some of us needed a reminder - I certainly did) and, coupled with her timely SRT thread - it really hit home!

I want to work with people here, but struggle with it because for so long all I know is to fight 'to stay right'. Fighting battles externally and internally. And always fighting alone because betrayal is all too common an experience. I guess I'm afraid to fully commit and Trust. I kick back sometimes when guys like you help pointing out off-keel concepts when I should know to accept constructive criticism (not that you were criticizing, mind) because its all part of bettering ourselves and to help each other as a network, and to be part of this Network. I know this, but in being an interactive member of this Network is to dissolve my inhibitions, my ego and narcissism, pride and presumptions... To not be food for the moon.
I keep peeling back the ugly layers of my personality to only reveal more ugliness beneath the one before last. I get frustrated. And the attacks... Always the persistent attacks... "I must keep STRIVING", I say it to others but do I practice what I preach? Not really. I'm probably the biggest hypocrite on this Forum.

Thats all I wanted to say (for now). Hope I wasn't too full on. We've never conversed before now (I don't recall) but my disrespect to you, even if only slight, urged me to explain myself.

My machine is a mess. Its going to take an age to clean. Please, feel free at any point to correct any errors of mine in future.

Be well.
Click to expand...

Actually, I didn't perceive any 'snarkyness' in your previous response, perhaps a tiny bit of 'preaching', but that's not too uncommon.
In any case, I'm delighted that this discussion has prompted you to reflect on your writing/thinking, and that you shared your experience of a recent 'fall into the abyss'.

Sometimes we need to hit rock bottom to sort things out. And, as the literature we've been going through here tells, hitting rock bottom is almost a must for every truth seeker who wants to become a true warrior. It makes you take things seriously; the business of 'soul smashing' is not a game. I think that most of us here, myself included, have had truly dark periods in our lives, and those experiences are to a great part the reason we started searching...and why we are here. And the battle goes on all the time. It's ca a year ago that I had my latest 'crash', and as it turned out...that was another kick start for me to get to the 'next level'. But I couldn't have handled it without the feedback I got from other forum members (that's important!)

So, your quest...should you accept it...:lol: is to build strength in all ways to mitigate the effects of the next crash or severe challenge...because it will come knocking at some point!
 
BlackCartouche said:
I guess the subject of being food and having to always work on our machine is touchy for me at the moment. Im undergoing major battles both within and from without.
Click to expand...

Your post shows a lot of insight and strength, BC. Delineating where the struggles are being fought, what the issues are and even one's failures in the face of them is half the battle right there I think. But this can only be done by being excruciatingly honest with the self on an on-going basis - and not glossing over the slips and failures in all the many ways we've been programmed to. That you're still sitting with the events of last summer (among other things) and still working on it suggests that it is an on-going process for you, which can only serve to strengthen you for as long as you continue.

Your sharing also suggests what you value and find meaning in - and what battle with the part of the self that doesn't value the same things - looks like from the inside. Pretty intense stuff to be sure. But know, as Aragorn stated, that many of us have been there, are there, or will be there. You are not at all alone in this individual, and collective, battle.

So keep on striving, BlackCartouche :-) That is, after all, what we're all working on - even if it feels like we're sometimes groping in the dark for the answers. And when you have found the answers that have helped you, YOU can further share it so we might all benefit from your hard fought learning.
 
@aragorn @Ennio Thank you guys. Those are strong words of encouragement indeed. You're both awesome. Really, I mean that.

To be honest with you; a significant part of me regretted writing that post and wanted to delete most of it. I'm glad I didn't.
I'm starting to feel I have a soul-family here (I hope I can say that) and dare to have faith again.

I shall continue to clean my machine. I will not allow my mind to be idle. I shall endeavour to continue striving no matter who or what comes knocking...

"You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it." --Maya Angelou
 
BlackCartouche said:
I want to work with people here, but struggle with it because for so long all I know is to fight 'to stay right'. Fighting battles externally and internally. And always fighting alone because betrayal is all too common an experience. I guess I'm afraid to fully commit and Trust. I kick back sometimes when guys like you help pointing out off-keel concepts when I should know to accept constructive criticism (not that you were criticizing, mind) because its all part of bettering ourselves and to help each other as a network, and to be part of this Network. I know this, but in being an interactive member of this Network is to dissolve my inhibitions, my ego and narcissism, pride and presumptions... To not be food for the moon.
I keep peeling back the ugly layers of my personality to only reveal more ugliness beneath the one before last. I get frustrated. And the attacks... Always the persistent attacks... "I must keep STRIVING", I say it to others but do I practice what I preach? Not really. I'm probably the biggest hypocrite on this Forum.
Click to expand...

Maybe you should go a bit easier on yourself? Can you describe in a bit more detail what your 'descent' involved, if only in broad terms?
 
aragorn said:
You guys talk about ‘vibration’ and ‘raise our vibration’, and I suspect you mean by that raising ones awareness and ‘cleaning ones machine’ (psychology, diet, knowledge, applying knowledge)?

This terminology can be encountered in many New Age circles, and sometimes it is just stated as a fact; that by doing this or that you ‘raise your vibration’, without saying what the * that actually means (I’m not talking about you guys).

Having said that, I’m sure there’s some sort of ‘vibration’ or ‘aura’ that we emit, that the critters can read to analyze us. However, the New Agers are messing up people’s heads with using the terminology too loosely, and perhaps that’s their intention. Luckily, we have our forum where these concepts can be talked about on a more practical level.

Just some thoughts that came while reading this thread...
Click to expand...

I've thought about this as well. 'Raise' your frequency. 'Higher' vibration. From what I've read, HZ is a frequency measurement. A frequency of 1 HZ = 'something' happens once per second.

A friend of mine had a chart that he put on his fridge, with a spectrum of healthy frequency. I can't recall it exactly, but I will try to pull it together.

(1) The living earth vibrates at 7.8 HZ. According to this chart, the earth is at the base, what we could call 'the most vivifying' to use G's terminology.

However, I've also read that there are brainwave frequencies that are 'lower' than the earth frequency:

Delta state: (1—3 Hz) certain folk involved in the Work (meditation specifically) who have been meditating for decades can attain this alert, wakened state, but most of us reach this only during deep, dreamless sleep. Delta state opens up the words of Sir Harilal Poonjaji (Papaji) who speaks of a deep sleep-like waking state.

Theta State: (4 — 8Hz) This is the where the verbal/thinking mind transitions to the meditative/visual mind. It's a move from the planning mind to a deeper state of awareness, with flowering intuition, more capacity to touch wholeness and complex problem solving. This may be what Laura refers to in her discourse on the 'maidens of the wells'. Perhaps the Theta state is one respectful of such maidens. Closer to earth frequency.

Alpha State: (9 — 13Hz) Brain waves start to slow down out of thinking mind. We feel more calm, peaceful and grounded. We often find ourselves in an “alpha state” after a yoga class, a walk in the woods, a pleasurable sexual encounter or during any activity that helps relax the body and mind. We are lucid, reflective, have a slightly diffused awareness. The hemispheres of the brain are more balanced (neural integration).

Beta State: (13 — 30Hz) Where most of modern humanity probably functions in the economics and politics of daily life. Beta State is typified by the alert problem-solving mind state of the prefrontal cortex. This is a state of the “working” or "thinking mind": analytical, planning, assessing and categorizing.

Gamma State: (30 — 100Hz) This is the state of hyperactivity and active learning. Gamma state is the most opportune time to retain information. This is why 'educators' (read: 'dictators') often have audiences jumping up and down or dancing around — to increase the likelihood of permanent assimilation of information. If over stimulated, it can lead to anxiety.

Then there's Wifi, bluetooth, 5G and the other disruptive frequencies that now saturate the lives of many hyper-modern humans. It is 'higher'. Much 'higher' than what can be considered healthy. I've read that Wifi has 5 major frequencies, ranging from 2.4 to 5.9 GHZ - much, much more than the anxiety threshold. Many studies have suggested how brutal and sickening this high-frequency soup is to the humans walking planet earth.

'Raise' your frequency. 'Higher' vibration. From my looking, these terms could be intentional spell-casting cue-words promulgated by the New Age agenda. Either that, or 'high vibration' is used as an unfortunate and confusing substitute for 'high density'. 7th density being the highest, All. It doesn't follow that 'higher frequency' will lead one to 'high density'. Maybe the opposite!
 
Joe said:
It's a term coined by Gurdjieff, that basically means that the energies (psychic, emotional etc.) of human beings are provoked and exploited as 'food' for some other beings at some other level of reality.
Click to expand...
Thanks. I looked it up and remembered reading it before. I think Gurdjieff was on the right track, but he was too close to the matter to articulate the situation effectively. He knows the moon is antagonistic to life, but instead of exploring legitimate, organic lunar effects, he trails off into fantasy.

Back on Earth - parasitic relationships outnumber predatory relationships four-to-one (Zimmer 2000). Researching parasites is made difficult by the injection of emotionally-laden peripherals into the search results (Hitler 1943). Perhaps we need to expand our perspective to the whole of the Earth and view the moon as if we were Her.

This video's been up for a year. It's been properly tagged and promoted, and all the links in the description point to scientific research, yet I couldn't find this (my own) 59 second video by keyword searching the exact title on both google and youtube today. Gurdjieff was on the right track, but if he told the (unfathomable) truth, his books would have been burned.

This is sort of a channel trailer for a project that never really took off. Let me know what you think.

 
Joe said:
Maybe you should go a bit easier on yourself? Can you describe in a bit more detail what your 'descent' involved, if only in broad terms?
Click to expand...
Hm.. re-reading that was embarrassing... Quite an unchecked emotional splurge there...

Ok, I'm not entirely sure what I can say in a way that I already haven't in broad terms in my response to Aragorn. I will think on it. I will probably have to go some way into point by point on events leading up.
Just to say though; I will find it awkward so I may struggle to be so forthcoming. But I will do it if it might help others - and because you ask it, Joe... Because I hold you in the highest regard.

I will write in the Swamp in due course.
 
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