What's happening in Serbia

[Possibility of Being]

Are you really going to teach me how and were I live? You really believe that you can do that?

Could you quote the part of my post where, in your opinion, I attempted doing so?

What I'm actually trying to do is to encourage you to behave on this forum in agreement with its guidelines and rules of conduct. You are a guest here, so please get off your high horse or take it elsewhere.

 

[Nević Nenad]

Could you quote the part of my post where, in your opinion, I attempted doing so?

What I'm actually trying to do is to encourage you to behave on this forum in agreement with its guidelines and rules of conduct. You are a guest here, so please get off your high horse or take it elsewhere.

Not a problem. There it is:

Nević, even if you are correct in your views, you are not helping your cause in this way, nor are you helping us to learn more about Serbia. And I would disagree with you that only the inhabitants of a given country know what is really going on there. They often suffer from myopia, tend to mingle with like-minded circles and create an echo chamber. How many Maidan activists do you think were aware of the level of manipulation? How many Soviet revolutionists were aware of the context, manipulations and the unavoidable results

And its not only that you said it, you actually offended me by telling me that I'm blind about conditions in which I live. I demand apology for that.

And you are not "encouraging" me, you are threatening me. Lets be clear about that And in the place where I probably was before you.

My "crime" is my writing style, of which Nienna kindly explained it to me. I understand that we all are not the same, and that there are people who might be upset with it. That's OK.

But, what you and Beau just did is not OK. Its bullying. Its bad and superficial moderation of an forum. You just jumped on the topic, read it just briefly, and then rolled up your sleeves, and "start moderating". I'm not good with it.

Do whatever you want. Bann me, moderate me, delete all, whatever you do with this superficial way of yours of running things. But please, don't offend me anymore by saying to me that I'm blind of the conditions in which I live. Its not you that have to go in the morning and buy bread, milk and whatever, its me.

 

[Joe]

And its not only that you said it, you actually offended me by telling me that I'm blind about conditions in which I live. I demand apology for that.

There's no problem with using some profanity where appropriate, from time to time. The idea is to avoid making it a usual style of communicating. You obviously like straight talk, which I can understand, but in that case, someone who likes "straight talk" demanding an apology for someone suggesting they may be biased about their perspective seems a bit inconsistent.

 

[Joe]

My "crime" is my writing style, of which Nienna kindly explained it to me. I understand that we all are not the same, and that there are people who might be upset with it.

It's not a crime, and no one is offended by it, but it is requested to avoid using strong profanities as a common way of communicating, and to not use them in responding directly to others. The reasons for this should be obvious: it starts fights, and this is not a fight forum, but a discussion forum. Discussion can be "heated", but should not descend into rudeness towards others. Sometimes it can't be avoided in the moment, but it should always be corrected afterwards, if only by reducing the "temperature". All that is asked is a certain level of self-control. Not too much to ask IMO.

 

[Nević Nenad]

It's not a crime, and no one is offended by it, but it is requested to avoid using strong profanities as a common way of communicating, and to not use them in responding directly to others. The reasons for this should be obvious: it starts fights, and this is not a fight forum, but a discussion forum. Discussion can be "heated", but should not descend into rudeness towards others. Sometimes it can't be avoided in the moment, but it should always be corrected afterwards, if only by reducing the "temperature". All that is asked is a certain level of self-control. Not too much to ask IMO.

The problem is people I work with. Construction guys. Thats their way of talking. I got so accustomed to that, so that I even dont pay attention to that anymore. I learned to just extract what people really are want to say, putting profanities aside and communicate with that. That is the work for me. Thank you Joe and Nienna to point that out for lazy me. Thanks God and my wife (not officially married so far, we're only 25 year together), in a month or so, I will work in a high school, and will works with some "finer" people. And I really dont want you all to imagine the bunch of high school kids talking like me

 

[Nević Nenad]

There's no problem with using some profanity where appropriate, from time to time. The idea is to avoid making it a usual style of communicating. You obviously like straight talk, which I can understand, but in that case, someone who likes "straight talk" demanding an apology for someone suggesting they may be biased about their perspective seems a bit inconsistent.

Having read what you wrote, and having read my posts in the last EVEN YEARS now, I feel ashamed. I must work on that.

 

[Cosmos]

Having read what you wrote, and having read my posts in the last EVEN YEARS now, I feel ashamed. I must work on that.

That’s a very important realization.

There is a simple rule that struck me ever since I encountered it and I remember it ever since, because it is so true:

“When you point your index finger towards something or someone else, there are always THREE fingers pointing right back at yourself (middle, ring and little finger)“

What that means is: Often, if not always, the more justified and strongly we feel in pointing a finger, the likelier it is that what we ourselves are (or have been) doing, is exactly what we accuse others of doing. And not only that, but probably 3 times more than the other person or thing we point a finger at even if it should be true that the other party is at fault too! In other words, we tend to project our own issues and faults onto someone or something else.

So every time we feel especially justified and sure that there are for example things like bullying, being offended, not liking straight talk, overly emotional reasoning, rudeness or irrational things going on with something or someone else, chances are that the pointing finger rule above is probably going on.

So, every time we suspect that something like that might be happening with ourselves, it is wise to first and foremost distance ourselves from the pointing and asking ourselves “am I the one that has the actual problem here? And what can I do to change that?“. A good way to distance one’s self from the automatic pointing tendency is to not respond in the heat of the moment but wait at least a day or two to cool down.