Why did the chicken cross the road?

Hamlet: To be or not to be -a chicken - that is the question:
Whether it is nobler in the mind - to cross the road - and suffer
The disapproving clucks of judgemental hens
Or remain to become a commodity of a factory-farm
And by crossing, escape it. To be penned - to be encaged
No more - and by a step we end
The heartache and the thousand natural shocks of mechanical
decapitation
That poultry is heir to - tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To cluck, To cross
To flutter, perchance to fly - Ay, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of freedom what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this wire cage,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of so long a life
For who would bear the filth and scorns of cages,
The overcrowding, the epidemics, the surveillance,
The pangs of a frustated pecking order
The insolence of chicks, and the abuse
The patient merit of th' unworthy takes
When he knows his quietus will be made
By the swift progress along the slaughterhouse assembly line
Who would fardels bear
To cluck and flutter under a captive life
But that dread of prolonging this miserable existence
That undiscovered country of grass and freedom
From which no chicken returns puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Then to fly to others we know not of?
Thus imagination makes cowards of us all
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is (sicklied) o'er with the pale cast of thought
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
Such as crossing the road
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action.
 
Not a chicken crossed the road joke, but I like it anyways...

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says ... Well, I guess we finally answered "THAT question!"
 
Moses: Let my people go!


Jesus: Joseph of Arimathea said it's helpful!


Arkadiusz Jadczyk: while for $n=2r+1$ we set $e_n=e_{2r+1}\mapsto p_{2r+1}=\underbrace{\sigma_3\otimes\ldots\otimes\sigma_3}_r.$



anart: Maybe this road is not for you?
 
(A few by) STEPHEN HAWKING: Einstein was wrong when he said "Chickens do not cross the road". Consideration of black holes suggests, not only that Chickens do cross the road, but that Chickens sometimes confuses us by crossing them where they can't be seen.

I have noticed even people who claim the chicken crossing the road is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.

To show this diagram of a chicken crossing the road properly, I would really need a four dimensional screen. However, because of government cuts, we could manage to provide only a two dimensional screen.
 
rolyateel said:
STS: To manipulate the chickens on the opposite side.

Laura:To blow open wide the manipulations of the STS chicken who had just crossed.
Click to expand...
Sorry, but Laura would say: "To get to the other side; free will."

And, very GOOD, webglider! Clever!

Redfox: LOL!!! Perfect!
 
Captain Ahab: Death and devils! Men, it is Moby Chick ye have seen--Moby Chick--Moby Chick!

Al Pacino: Chickens. Hoo Wah! Big ones, little ones.

Bill Clinton: I did not have culinary relations with *that* chicken

Pentagon document about the incident obtained through FOIA : XXXXX XXX XXXX XXXX chicken XXX XXXXXX XXXXXXXXX XXXX XXXX road XXX XXXX XXXX XXXX
 
This is cracking me up! Obviously, we must create our own email and send it around with all the new answers!
 
THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.
 
James Allen: " Chicken cannot travel within, and stand still without"

Ayn Rand: " The purpose of crossing the road is to teach you not to suffer and die, but enjoy yourself and live."

Khalil Gibran: [Impermanence] " Chicken is like verses written
upon the surface of the roads"

Khalil Gibran: " You cross the road that you may keep pace with the earth and the soul of the earth.

"For to be idle is to become a stranger unto the seasons and to step out of life's procession, that marches in majesty and proud submission towards the other side of the road"

Darwin: " Survival of the fastest and the fittest"

Mr. Rogers: " Well hello good neighbors. Welcome to Mr. Rogers neighborhood. I am so happy you little chicks are part of my television neighborhood."

"Today I want to talk to you about safety. When you go outside your nest, does your mother hen ever take you near the farm road or the interstate highway? Well it's very important to never cross a road without a Rooster or Hen. And be sure to look both ways before you try to cross the road. Your parent birds want you to grow up safe. And I think you are special. Can you say special?"

Lao Tzu: "Because it is its chicken nature."

Ghazal: " Now the wings that rode the wind are torn by the wind; their feathers dust of the desert, their force shriveled to powder."

"What beauty now is bringing nearer the face of heaven that the dust of the bare road is lost in a carpet of flowers?" .....

Buddha: " Chicken desires are endless. It is like the thirst of a bird who drinks salt water; he gets no satsfaction and his thirst
is increased."

" So it is with chicken who seeks to gratify his desires to cross the road, he only gains increased dissatisfaction and his woes are multiplied' [ splatt!]

Nietzsche: " Apart from the ascetic ideal, chicken--- the animal, chicken had no meaning hitherto. His existence on earth had no goal. " Why have chicken at all?" was a question without answer... Precisely this was the meaning of the ascetic ideal, that something was lacking, that tremendous gap surrounded chicken: he did not know how to justify, explain, or affirm himself, he suffered from the problem of his meaning. He suffered in other ways too; he was in the main a sickly animal: yet suffering as such was not his problem, but that the answer was lacking to the cry of the question " Why cross the road?" "

J. Krishnamurti: " But the rooster or hen who sees ubsurdity of all these things ( ego/desires) and whose heart is therefore innocent, and therefore not moved by the desire to cross the road to be somebody- such a chicken is free"

SOREN KIERKEGAARD: " If chicken sets himself a goal for his endeavor ( to cross the road) here in this life, and he fails to reach it, then, in the judgement of eternity, it is quite possible that chicken may be blameless. Yes, he may even be worthy of praise. He might have been prevented by death, or adversity that is beyond his control: in which case chicken is entirely without blame. He might even have been prevented from reaching his goal ( of crossing the road) just by being unwilling to use any other means than those which the judgement of eternity permits. In which case by his very renunciation of the impatience of passion and the inventions of cleverness, he is even worthy of praise. Chicken is not, therefore, eternally responsible for whether he reaches his goal of the other side (of the road) within this world of time. But without exception chicken is eternally responsible for the kinds of means he uses."


Thanks Laura, for the fun thread! :-) LOL!
 
Groucho Marx: "Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs."

Martin Luther King: "It had a dream."

Neil Armstrong: "One small step for chickenkind, one giant leap for poultry."

Mark Twain: "The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated."

Douglas Adams: "Forty-two."

Rhett Butler: "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."

Ronald Reagan: "I don't recall. What was the question?"

Captain Kirk: "Gentlemen, we are going to get to the bottom of this! Analysis, Spock?

Spock: "Fascinating, Captain."

Bones: "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not an ornithologist!"
 
George Galloway: Senator, I am not now, nor have I ever been, a chicken trader, and neither has anyone on my behalf. I have never seen a chicken in oil, owned one, bought one, sold one - and neither has anyone on my behalf. Nor have I ever had chickenpox, been the owner of chicken wire and I have certainly never accepted any chickenshit.
 
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