Why did the chicken cross the road?

various sources said:
PLATO: For the greater good of chickens.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

RONALD REAGAN: I forget.

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and unsuccessfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. (Similar has been posted but not this one exactly)

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road... it transcended it.

L.A.P.D.: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.

GEORGE W. BUSH: The chicken crossed the road because he was an evil-doer, and we smoked him out of his hole and got him on the run!
Click to expand...


Pliny the Elder: In pullus veritas

Ghandi: Be the chicken you wish to see in the world

Ghandi again: What do I think of the chicken crossing the road? I think it would be a good idea.

Ghandi no.3: His life was his message.

Shakespeare: Much ado about chickens.

Shakespeare: Because cowards die many times before their death

Woody Allen: I'm not afraid of the chicken crossing the road, I just don't wanna be there when it happens

Richard Taverner: Better the road you know, than the one you don't.

Italian Proverb: Beware the chicken with nothing to lose.

Albert Einstein: A chicken who never made a mistake has never tried anything new

Mark Twain: Because actions speak louder than words, but not nearly as often.

Ben Franklin: After crosses and losses, chickens grow humbler and wiser

Washington Irving: Because great minds have purposes, others have wishes

Charles-Guillaume Étienne: Because if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself

Ralph Waldo Emerson: Life is too short to waste

English proverb: Cross and let cross

Socrates: Chickens learn more on their own rather than being force fed

Tibetan: Wise chickens understand by themselves; fools follow the reports of others

Michael Moore: We live in a time where we have fictitious chickens that cross fictitious roads. We live in a time where we have a chicken sending us to the other side of the road for fictitious reasons

Ozzy Osbourne: Duude, crossing the road sober is, like, totally different than crossing it while drunk

Robert Frost: In four words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: The chicken goes on

Horatio: Carpe pullus! (seize the chicken :D )


George Orwell: All the road-crossing-propaganda, all the screaming and lies and hatred, comes invariably from people who never crossed roads

Carl W. Buechner: I only say to the chicken, they may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel when you crossed the road.

Calvinists: The road - you don't pick it, it picks you

Old Persian proverb: I felt sorry because I had no chickens, then I met a chicken who had no roads...

G: The chicken crossing the road means he has taken the first step in becoming a Chicken in the true sense of the word.

Adam Clayton Powell: Keep the chicken, baby!


Conrad Hilton: Success seems to be connected to action. Successful chickens keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit

Mark Twain actually told the chicken:
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. 

So throw off the bowlines. 

Sail away from the safe harbor. 

Catch the trade winds in your sails. 

Explore. Dream. Discover
And cross the damn road!

I've emphasized my favorite ones for easier reading, great thread! :thup:
 
THE FBI - At first we thought we were dealing with the fowl play of a serial murderer but the chicken went against the grain and turned out to be a cereal killer.
 
treesparrow said:
THE FBI - At first we thought we were dealing with the fowl play of a serial murderer but the chicken went against the grain and turned out to be a cereal killer.
Click to expand...

cereal killer! :rotfl:
 
Nietzsche: "What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you, and say to you: 'This road as you now cross it and have crossed it, you will have to cross once more and innumerable times more' ... Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your beak and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: 'You are a Great Rooster and never have I heard anything more divine.”
 
OXFORD UNIVERSITY - because as a student it had one more highway to walk over to finally qualify for a Rhodes Scholarship.

SENATOR MACCATHY - I believe it crossed a state line, east from Connecticut, looking to join in any communist activity in the hope of becoming a fully fledged Rhode Island Red.
 
Yoda: Try he did not. Do he did.

Darth Vader: To get to the dark side.

Admiral Akbar: It’s a trap!

Obi-Wan Kenobi: He felt a great disturbance in the Force…as if millions of chickens suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

The Emperor: Get this pathetic chicken out of my site.

Luke Skywalker: He saw the good in him.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Trending content

Back
Top Bottom