Why did the chicken cross the road?

From _http://nonexistent.corn/justmadeup/sometruth.html

The mystery of ‘why did the chicken cross the road’, believed to have first appeared in 1847, in The Knickerbocker, a New York City monthly magazine, however researchers today are in dispute over its origns, respected researcher Dr Fowl from roadisland, saw red when he first discovered the truth of its historical signifence and socail impact in todays modern society.

According to Dr Fowl’s research, there was more than a quip, that lay in its past, as the original narrative of ‘why did the chicken cross the road’, had parallels with Homers ‘Odyssey’, however so much of this work has been lost down through the centuries, that today only the title exists, a title that has puzzled many of the worlds greatest minds, down through the ages and some say was the impetus in the rise of quantum physics, though, there was never enough data to truly explain the rout cause, the true motivation for the chickens endeavour.

However, Dr Fowl has included the work of Nobel prize winner Daniel Kahneman who believes an answer is at hand, after his recent behavioural study involving a sample of chickens and roads, revealed a startling observation, not all chickens cross the road, Professor Kahneman’s research showed the rout cause of failure in a sample of chickens in not crossing the road, with 25% who simply failed to cross utilizing system two, who were deliberately engaged in deep introspection, to notice anything, the other 75% crossed the road, once system two was disrupted by the sight of the road, through associated memory function, put quiet simply by Kahneman, 'the chicken was thinking to fast', but according to Kahneman, there is still more tests with system 2 function in free range chickens after deep introspection, is carried out, but he will cross the road, when they come to it’.

Dr Fowl’s book, ‘What the Chickens’, is said to uncover the truth that lay at heart of why the chicken crossed the road, a heart breaking tale, exposing the Vatican’s fowl play at a major cross roads in history, implicating senior government officials in cover-up’s and the true inspiration for HARP, an Eggordinary Best Seller….
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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little b! ird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross th! e road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

JOHNNY COCHRAN
Because the road was black and the chicken was white. We must acquit.

THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one
 
Rodney Dangerfield: To get respect.

Flip Wilson: The devil made her do it.

Gilligan: The traffic started getting rough; the chicken had to cross. If not for the plumage of its peerless tail the chicken would be lost, the chicken would be lost!

Mr. Scott: 'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning properly. Ah canna work miracles, Captain!

Jim Morrison: To break on through to the other side.
 
Apologies if these were already posted but two of my favorites are:

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing
events to grace the annals of history. An historic,
unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt
such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to
homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

The Sphinx: You tell me.

:)
 
I just saw this website: _http://www.sharoncooperforstatehouse.com/about/issues/krazy-laws.php

where, apparently, in Quitman, Georgia (USA), it is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.

:rolleyes:
 
Great find Zadius Sky! Almost fell off my chair laughing. :P

And I thought such silly regulations and crazy laws were typical for old countries like the UK or something...
 
Zadius Sky said:
I just saw this website: _http://www.sharoncooperforstatehouse.com/about/issues/krazy-laws.php

where, apparently, in Quitman, Georgia (USA), it is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.

:rolleyes:
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and at one time threatened to be against the law in California as well!

US chicken ducks jaywalking fine

A chicken fined $54 for illegally crossing a road in California has had the charge thrown out by a court.

The fine was dismissed after a lawyer for the bird's owners argued that the fowl was domesticated and could not be classified as livestock.

California law bans livestock from highways, but not domestic animals.

Linc and Helena Moore had been fined on 26 March after their chicken wandered onto a road in the small rural mining town of Johannesburg in Kern county.

They were warned by their lawyer that if the bird continued to cross the road unattended they could face a minor misdemeanour infraction, the Daily Independent newspaper reported.

Allegations

The Moores say they were fined because of their repeated complaints that local authorities had not done enough to curb off-road drivers.

"For the last two-and-a-half years, no-one has been able to stop the kids riding their bikes in the middle of the road or the neighbours' dogs running around our neighbourhood," Linc Moore was quoted as saying.

"But when our chicken escaped and crossed the road once it became a huge issue."

Officials from the sheriff's department rejected the allegations.

The couple are now seeking legal assistance to file harassment charges against Kern County's Sheriff Department.
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priceless quote at the end :lol:

_http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4591869.stm
 
These two ..
Menrva said:
CASSIOPAEANS: Wait and see!
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SAO said:
SOTT.net: The chicken crossed the road? Sez who? And while we're being constantly told to focus on this supposed "chicken" crossing the road with NO evidence to support this (and plenty of evidence against it such as unchanged road accident statistics and no increase in any reports of people seeing chickens crossing roads), what has been going on elsewhere in the world that we're possibly being distracted from?
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.. just made me spit out my coffee by the nose ... guys I hate youuuu wahahahaha !! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
IzJL7.jpg
 
That's perfect Shane! :lol:

Ekios said:
SAO said:
SOTT.net: The chicken crossed the road? Sez who? And while we're being constantly told to focus on this supposed "chicken" crossing the road with NO evidence to support this (and plenty of evidence against it such as unchanged road accident statistics and no increase in any reports of people seeing chickens crossing roads), what has been going on elsewhere in the world that we're possibly being distracted from?
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Also a favorite! super funny SAO
 
A deep, gruff, masculine voice from a movie trailer. -

It thought crossing the road would be easy.
It thought stepping out onto the road would be painless.
It was wrong.
VERY wrong.
That's just when the horror would begin.

Blood! Guts! Gore! Feathers! Droppings! Skid Marks!

Be afraid.
Be very afraid!
Would YOU dare to cross the road!?

Nobody said crossing the road would be easy.

Starring Gregory Peck as a chicken rustler running fowl of the law.

Witness Russel Crowe give a towering performance with his stunningly acurrate portrayal of a chicken enclosure fence post.

See bumbling middle class twit Hugh Grant AS Hugh Grant - a blumbling middle class twit.

Introducing sultry Chrissy Leghorn as the temptress who lures the unsuspecting cockerals onto the road and certain doom with her plaintive siren calls of any cockwill-do, any-cockwill-do.
 
the chicken eard about danger of eating grains, and wanted to eat only grass and thing from the ground.
 
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