"With you by my side. . . . ."

taitai

The Force is Strong With This One
Does anyone else experience a wave of revulsion when they hear that phrase? (usually said by a male person to a female person, to flatter her into a submitting to a supporting- role "relationship" with him) It seems to crop up whenever I (accidentally) overhear snatches of soap operas, popular "music" & the like, & it really offends me. :(
 
That's not surprising.

Revulsion and similar responses seem a natural reaction to the vast mind-programming effort which is the Media. Though it sounds like this particular example carries personal significance for you. Any idea why?
 
I don't know...I don't feel a strong negative emotion from just hearing the sentence. (but English is my second language so that can be a reason.)
If someone says to me, depends on a situation in fact it can be a nice sentence I think.

Woodsman said:
That's not surprising.
Revulsion and similar responses seem a natural reaction to the vast mind-programming effort which is the Media. Though it sounds like this particular example carries personal significance for you. Any idea why?

So, I agree. You seem like a strong reaction to this particular sentence. Maybe soap operas, popular "music", movies usually depict "needy love" as the only way (as mind-programming) so it can be why.
 
I sometimes feel the same thing. not so much revulsion as a need to determine the circumstances under which i would stand by someone :). maybe it sounds silly
 
Woodsman said:
That's not surprising.

Revulsion and similar responses seem a natural reaction to the vast mind-programming effort which is the Media. Though it sounds like this particular example carries personal significance for you. Any idea why?

Agreed. Love, religion, sentences such as "with you by my side" and a whole world of other concepts have surely been distorted beyond recognition by mainstream media.

Taitai, it seems that you are reacting to what the media has done with this specific sentence. If you look at that sentence by itself, "with you by my side" can be quite beautiful, IF free from the tentacles of manipulation and feeding that we, much to our own detriment, learn to be part of care and love. In fact, "with you by my side" can be taken as what this very network is also about, a cohesive group of genuinely caring people that got together help each of its members see what is and what isn't.

I can also relate to your feelings well though, for example, expressing genuine care and affection to my partner is still something I need to work on due to years of being force fed distortions on a daily basis. However, I think that this is where we need to do our homework and learn not to discard something just because of what our culture has done with it but instead, look for its true, original meaning. It is not easy work, and one needs only to look around to observe how many of us have been "burnt" by having been fed distortions that lead us to completely reject the possibility of seeing beyond the it. Such can also been seen when thinking, as I mentioned above, of religion, love, and so on.

A very clever maneuver from the part of those who have made everything possible to create those distortions in the first place, you either embrace them, or you reject them so much that any possibility of finding its true origin becomes remote.

My 2 cents
 
I think that this is where we need to do our homework and learn not to discard something just because of what our culture has done with it but instead, look for its true, original meaning.

I so agree with this statement. Although, I may be too much of a romantic!! But my life experiences have shown me that there are some masculine attributes and some feminine attributes that together make a whole. And maybe we should attempt to balance those attributes in ourselves to make us whole. But what is whole for us individually? Maybe for me, or whomever, being 'whole' means being 75% feminine and 25% masculine, or vice versa. Maybe it means being 50/50. Maybe what you have come here to give the Universe requires a balance leaning one way or the other, and maybe the 'balance' may be obtained with a partner, or maybe not!

But no matter, I do think there is something to this, simply because 'romantic relationships' tend to be a means to manipulate and distract most of us for many years from what we may have come here to accomplish. And when we wake up to that fact it tends to lead to 'black and white' thinking. So we throw the baby out with the bathwater.

I am guilty of the same. Okay, I am an old lady now and the 'young man lines' really don't work on me anymore!! And well, so, I may not have heard many lately, being an old lady and all (but I look much younger than I am and have had my share of compliments!!). But I have fallen for and have also been disgusted by those lines before in this life. Yet somewhere in me there is a belief, or desire maybe, to hear those words from a 'real man'. A man who respects my feminine ( be it 50% or 75%) and who can balance and support who I am. And also in me is the desire to support that man. I may never meet or know that man in this lifetime. Maybe he exists in another density or dimension that I can not fathom. Maybe he doesn't exist at all.

But I can't help but wonder why a 'Prince Charming', 'Knight in Shinning Armour' type program would be necessary to combat something that did not have some kind of significance in the first place.

Okay, I may have gotten off on a tangent here with my thoughts, but the phrase "with you here by my side" is, in and of itself, a beautiful phrase. And I may 'blow off' or even 'slap the face' of someone who said that to me, but I might also appreciate those heartfelt words. And allow that person the opportunity to show me what he/she truly meant by them. If the proof is in the pudding, sometimes you have to let things set a while before coming to any conclusions.
 
Oh for what it's worth.... I hate being called 'Babe'!!! Just because I am a woman, and maybe I am a 'babe', whatever that is!! I do have a name!!!
 
For a non native english speaker, the expression "baby" or "babe" sounds a little strange. When i was a kid i wondered, why do americans called women babies??! I would understand such things as "darling" or "honey" but calling someone a baby is strange/funny.

Edit: I find it normal to say "darling" or "honey" to the woman with whom the person is in love, not to a random woman met in the street of course :)
 
taitai said:
Does anyone else experience a wave of revulsion when they hear that phrase?

Not that particular phrase, but there are a bunch of really overused slogans that get on my nerves...so I add funny things onto the end of them in my head. Like "Milk, does a body good" ...if you're a cow.
A & W Root Beer is very popular around here, so there are multiple signs and ads that say "Get that frosty mug sensation" I add "because condensation is free"

"With you at my side" ...there's 50% less chance I'll be eaten by a bear, 95% less if you're slow. ;)

We're all being bombarded by programing in a wide variety of forms. Making fun of it takes MUCH of it's power ...osit.
 
I find it normal to say "darling" or "honey" to the woman with whom the person is in love, not to a random woman met in the street of course Smiley

mkrnhr,

I should have clarified, I meant that I find it rude for someone that I don't know or hardly know to call me 'babe' (which is a common phrase here in the US) or even 'darling' or 'honey'. It feels degrading. I may take it too personally, but I am a person in my own right, and I don't know you well enough to be your 'babe, 'darling', or even your 'honey'!

Now, if I were the 'woman with whom the person is in love', the term of endearment, I would hope, would be an expression of love and I would welcome it, whatever it may be.

Ironically, there have been times when a stranger has used such a phrase that has not affected me in that way. It has almost felt like a compliment, (and as a woman I am appreciative of such compliments!). But more often it is felt as a degrading comment. That may be due to the fact that I am surrounded by a majority of misogynistic men who truly look down at women as an inferior species. Then again, I may just feel a need to defend myself. But even that may be due to the fact that I am surrounded by a majority of misogynistic men who truly look down at women as an interior species!

I am currently living in what appears to be the most southern part of the 'Bible belt', where generally, the man is the head of the household and the woman is subservient to the man. That may predispose me to defend the feminine, or 'my feminine' even, so to speak.

But I do appreciate mutual respect for the persons that we are, and regardless of what 'nick name' you may call someone, if I feel your respect you can call me anything "but late to dinner!" (another American phrase!!)
 
Freya said:
I should have clarified, I meant that I find it rude for someone that I don't know or hardly know to call me 'babe' (which is a common phrase here in the US) or even 'darling' or 'honey'. It feels degrading.
It sounds indeed somehow "intrusive" and degrading from someone you don't know. Cultural memes like this do carry a lot of subconscious messages.
 
Posted by: mkrnhr
It sounds indeed somehow "intrusive" and degrading from someone you don't know. Cultural memes like this do carry a lot of subconscious messages.

Indeed. I am still, at this late stage of my life, trying to come to terms with this cultural meme! And I am so trying to understand the subconscious message that has been imprinted on my own psyche.

I am a woman who, as a child, lived through the 'Woman's movement'. Who saw my own Mother (a single woman with 3 children to support) attempt to make it in a 'Man's World' and still be a Woman and a Mother. As a child, I felt that I lost my Mother to the 'Corporation'. And Seeing how the world is now, I think that maybe I was a smart little girl!! Although as an Adult, I see my mother as a courageous Woman who ventured into the world of the unknown (at least at the time) to better life for herself and also for her children and their future.

So maybe there is a part of me that does not appreciate statements that may seem derogatory towards woman, maybe having grown up in a country and a society that doesn't really appear to honor anything feminine, but actually seems to promote that woman become more masculine in order to play in the 'sandbox', has made me appear 'anti-man'. But my apologies to you mkrnhr (as it appears that you may be a man, I gather, but I may be wrong), and to all the men of this Forum. I love Men!! Real Men, those that are working to find that True Masculine that may dwell inside them. And all the Women who may be striving to balance the feminine/masculine in themselves. And although I have lived for the past 12 years without one of you (men, I mean), and am still alive to prove that you're not a necessity to a woman's survival, but I still think that, like I said previously....

"I can't help but wonder why a 'Prince Charming', 'Knight in Shinning Armour' type program would be necessary to combat something that did not have some kind of significance in the first place."

And no matter how hard, or how long I try to balance my own feminine/masculine alone as a person, I can't help but think, how much stronger and better that force might be with the input of two minds, working together. Alas, maybe the need for the 'programs'.

I don't mean to insinuate anything, particularly anything that may make anyone reading this thread come to any conclusions about any relationship issues, I haven't had one for the past 12 years and do not anticipate having one in the near future, this is simply an expression of my thoughts and observations. Okay, truth in disclosure complete, I leave you with my feelings as they stand at present (subject to change with further knowledge)
 
No need to apologize Freya, i didn't see your post as "anti-men" even though i can completely understand such an attitude within the framework of how people behave in society. The problem is not in men per se but in how psychopathic societies turned them into predators to women. And those social memes are one manifestation of that ponerization. And yes, it is better to be careful with predators. It is not all black or white of course, but frankly if i was a woman, i would trust nobody before a very long and careful observation.
 
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