Gertrudes said:
Unfortunately, minimizing or discarding an event is probably what most people will tend to do, maybe believing that they are helping by doing so. There is a fine balance between wondering in one's own trauma without wanting to get out of the pit, and rightfully feeling whatever there is to feel associated with the event, and letting it out. I think that this is the difference that most people don't recognize.
On a side note, 2 days after this event I had a nasty accident that left me in bed for 1 and a half months. Within that same week, the man who had broken into (I think that it was the same person) returned. Well, I got myself out of the sofa holding my new crutches in an aggressive stance (as if I could actually attack him in the state I was in!) and screamed as loud as I could like a wild, enraged beast :D. He left. You know, this sort of helped heal it, I felt like I had somehow sorted it out inside me.
Gertrudes, it is not a sidenote ! It is the most important of your story, the very point!
The first time the fear in your mind blocked your force, but you were given soon a new chance to rewire your mental structures, and yes you could actually attack him in the stance you were in, you could indeed.
The first time I had to deal with a rape attempt outside I was 13, it was in the mountain in Austria. I weighted perhaps at most 40 kilo with my heavy ski shoes. Two huge Germans followed a friend and I out of the place we had dinner in. I immediately sensed what they got in mind. Each of them had chosen randomly one of us. While "mine" sprang on me I hear my friend scream, the other had broken her ankle in trying to lay her on the snow.
First I dealt with "mine" consistently, then I ran to deal with even more energy with "hers". I made sure they couldn't stand up after a while. Then, as she could no more walk, I took her on my back (although she was heavier then me) and walked 2 kilometers in the high snow to carry her in safety.
Needless to say that a logical 'scientifical' mind would have thought there's nothing to do, and wa are prey, but things are very, very different in real life. You really feel you are not alone, never.
Perhaps one can imagine why you may have then a complete different point of view on the event. So maybe one should look twice at the nature of our reactions after the event: there is minimizing as you said, but there can be also only another measurement of the part of trauma in the event, and a right measuremet of the part of growth (hope this is english, not sure...).
Another time the same situation occured, I was 15 coming back from high school with 2 class comrades. The 3 raper candidates were on the other side on the road, and I perceived their intent the moment they decided to cross, so I was prepared. They attacked one after each other, like ordinary predators believing their target is weaker and no extra investment is needed. What an error. I carried a heavy school bag made of thick leather at the time, with my heavy schoolbooks in it. What a weapon! It didn't only give scoliosis, I found out. Well the third started to spring on me, but the 2 first lying already on the ground due to my flying bag, he gave it up at the same time, otherwise he would have bumped into his fellows.
Danse la vie
That is not a nice experience! I'm so sorry you had to go through that, and yes you had all the right to be upset about it! Your family probably thought that they were helping you by minimizing the event, but they were doing the opposite. I doubt they thought deep inside it was 'normal' or something that happens all the time (it doesn't). But in their ignorance of how to handle trauma they were not giving you the support you needed!
to all who have been similarly affected.
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