Éiriú-Eolas - Breathing Program

[beetlemaniac]

First of all, you want to be relaxed throughout the program. And you should not be gasping for air. It seems to me that you are going for a "weird experience" rather than for healing you mind, body and emotions. There is a reason for breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth. Your nose has little nerve endings in it and by breathing in through the nose only you are constantly stroking those nerve endings in the same direction repeatedly - without breathing out through the nose - which helps to put you into a deeper meditative state.

Gasping for air by breathing in and out through the mouth, and contorting your body are undesirable. At least not to my knowledge. The Eiriu Eolas program is meant to be a gentle, stress-reducing, rejuvenating program that helps us to get rid of the toxicity of stress and repressed emotions.

Thanks for the advice Nienna. I do see now that what I was doing was immature and
in the vein of "thrill-seeking" rather than focusing on relaxing and healing.

 

[Aiming]

Interesting Puzzle, I also feel some kind of connection with you. The journey goes on... Smiley

:) It sure does, Oxajil!


It took me all these recent days to figure out whether I should comment or not.
After I had written that I felt some kind of connection to Oxajil the predator went into overdrive. If it was my predator. I was feeling very uncomfortable, thinking that everybody reading this would know I'd be trying to feed by writing this to Oxajil. While I was sure I wasn't. Then I read this from truth seeker:

the specialness aspect can also be quite insidious. It can take the form of us thinking that we have a particular connection with others (people or beings) when in reality, we do not.

from here

So I thought about whether there was some aspect in me that was indeed trying to feed. I was also worried that there was and I didn't want to hurt Oxajil with that.
I have come to the (current) conclusion that there wasn't. I do feel some kind of connection to her. But I also see that there's a good portion of projection going on. And I think that the predator went into overdrive because I was taking a step of opening up and showing myself. As a result (of the predator) I was feeling embarrassed that I even wrote it, because it really didn't seem appropriate to have written it at all.

If anybody of you could give me a clue on how to recognize it definitely, I mean to be 100% sure, I'd be glad for feedback. And maybe, for a reality check, did any of you think when reading of me writing of a connection to Oxajil, that this was an attempt at feeding?

Oxajil, I hope you do not take this in any way as hurtful, it is not meant to be, I really need to find out whether I'm blind to something here and I hope I have chosen a considerate way to go about it - if not, please let me know.

[dear moderators, if this post is inappropriate here, please let me know or move it, thanks!]

 

[Gawan]

Yes, definitely the fear of losing something. But losing what, exactly?

Hello Puzzle, maybe try the POTS in the sense of: "clear my eyes that I may see [of what I'm afraid of]" in your daily meditation.

And Puzzle, don't be -afraid- of posting, all what you can get is feedback to see yourself more clearly.

here

Did you mean this message?

 

[Turgon]

If anybody of you could give me a clue on how to recognize it definitely, I mean to be 100% sure, I'd be glad for feedback. And maybe, for a reality check, did any of you think when reading of me writing of a connection to Oxajil, that this was an attempt at feeding?

fwiw, I didn't notice any type of feeding or predation occurring in your original post to Oxajil.

Q: (L) Boy, that's a heavy responsibility! Well, I guess there's no other way to do it than to start launching into some questions and see where it goes. (Long pause) Okay, I guess the first thing that comes to my mind to ask is: how are our breathing and meditation practitioners doing in the forum and in the group? In QFS and in the forum?

A: Whether they realize it or not, they are making dramatic progress. Do you notice the growing sense of community?

Q: (L) Well, yes I noticed that a lot of forum members were starting to take care of newbies and answer questions and analyze things – and doing a darn good job of it, too! They're starting to think out of the box. Anything else that I should be noticing?

A: Their connections are forming at higher levels.

And this quote was back in October of last year. This connection at higher levels must have increased by then. osit. Not sure exactly how it works, but lately I've found myself thinking more and more about forum members when I'm out and about. And to be honest, Puzzle, I often identify with your posts because it seems that, at least from the way you write, your glimpsing into my own mind and posting it up on the forum. There have been a few times you've posted your thoughts and I've been like "that's exactly what I've been thinking about too!" and it's encouraged me to post more.

 

[Oxajil]

Hi Puzzle,

You know, I actually have been thinking about this. I think we tend to ''hold on'' to certain individuals who we might recognize as a sort of figure we never had in our own lives. Is there a connection? I don't know, we have to be careful. At some level, I think we are all connected, this whole group. Some of our programs love ''special things'' I think. We have to be clear and critical, and observe with curiosity, rather than not questioning our feelings. There are many layers.

I don't think you were feeding at all, you just said what you have been observing, and I very much admire your honesty. Some of our programs start to like certain individuals, and trying to figure out why that is might be interesting. Maybe it is because you once cried over something I wrote to you? It wasn't me you know, it was you. You recognized that part of you, and eventually you chose to grow. It was all you, I just gave you a little push. I'm not sure if that was the trigger for you starting to develop a ''connecting feeling'', but it has been what I thought.

Take care!

 

[Infiniteness]

I'd certainly like to do that as well. I'm not an audio expert on how to do that.

Hi Myrddin Awyr,

I'm not much of an audio expert either. The idea I had was just to get a basic stereo and to burn a disc with the "meditation clip" only. Then insert, click repeat on your stereo and let it play through out the night. Also you could do this with you computer or i pod. Thats the idea I had.

 

[Approaching Infinity]

If anybody of you could give me a clue on how to recognize it definitely, I mean to be 100% sure, I'd be glad for feedback. And maybe, for a reality check, did any of you think when reading of me writing of a connection to Oxajil, that this was an attempt at feeding?

It's been my experience that very often, when we feel a connection with someone, we're seeing in that person a part of ourselves that we're denying, or that is otherwise hidden. Like you said, it can be a form of projection. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, and Barbara Hort discusses these things in Unholy Hungers. As long as you're aware of the identification and the projection, it can be helpful for you to see yourself.

Then again, it's very likely that there are all sorts of real connections between group members that we can't "see" - past life connections, fragmented soul unit connections, even just resonance of types. That makes me wonder if both are not connected. When we see something in someone else with which we identify, we ARE seeing some part of ourselves (via resonance of like qualities). The danger is in thinking that it's strictly "out there" or "in that person", and not also in ourselves. That's the danger of projecting our "inner beloved", those soul qualities that lie in wait to be discovered and made manifest!

 

[Aiming]

I don't think you were feeding at all, you just said what you have been observing

Yes, I see that too now. But shortly after posting I had an insight into why I was having this awkward feeling about it. I was looking into the abyss and I can understand a little bit better why people here often refer to 'looking into the abyss' or 'facing the Devil (i.e. the horror of our machine's set-up) - there's usually no need to spell out what one has seen, but rather keep it as a further note in one's notebook of 'Study of one's machine'. It wasn't about feeding, there was a narcissistic, self-serving aspect to it, but not while posting my observation on 'feeling a connection', this was in a state of 'innocence', i.e. without second thoughts as far as I can tell. It's more complicated and I'll explore it further. Hope it's okay to leave it at that for now.

Maybe it is because you once cried over something I wrote to you?

You know, that was actually my very first thought when the feeling of connection to you rose up in me. I was so very grateful for you to touch exactly the spot in me that led to an emotional release and insight. What your words elicited was very intense and my gratefulness kind of developed a certain emotional bond to you as a consequence. Only, this thought somehow got lost on the way and I came to post of feeling a connection to you and, at least partly, ascribing a spiritual value to it.

It wasn't me you know, it was you. You recognized that part of you, and eventually you chose to grow. It was all you, I just gave you a little push.

This is actually a very healthy statement. You take away the foundation for any kind of projection by reminding me of my own part in this situation. Thank you for that, it was important to me to have it spelled out directly by you.
But still I do remain on my position of being grateful for your help/assistance in this. It simply shows me that we all need one another, that the given feedback indeed helps in our learning/seeing/processing.

Some of our programs start to like certain individuals, and trying to figure out why that is might be interesting.

It's been my experience that very often, when we feel a connection with someone, we're seeing in that person a part of ourselves that we're denying, or that is otherwise hidden. Like you said, it can be a form of projection.

The image I have of Oxajil, and I'm aware it is only what I see in her and probably inflate about her, is that she represents a close approximation of a healthy feminine energy, full of faith towards DCM and life, full of compassion and trust and devoid of judging herself. The very qualities I long for, so that this aspect of what I see in her morphs into her becoming some kind of role model for the endeavour of developing these aspects in me as well.

The danger is in thinking that it's strictly "out there" or "in that person", and not also in ourselves. That's the danger of projecting our "inner beloved", those soul qualities that lie in wait to be discovered and made manifest!

So what I need to do is taking back the projection and simply keep exploring, keep working.

Yes, definitely the fear of losing something. But losing what, exactly?

Hello Puzzle, maybe try the POTS in the sense of: "clear my eyes that I may see [of what I'm afraid of]" in your daily meditation.

I've started doing this, thanks for the suggestion!

And Puzzle, don't be -afraid- of posting

This one made me cry, Gawan. (Now I feel a connection to you. Lol, just joking.)
You're spot on with your observation. What's most conspicuous presently is the immensity of fear inside me. Life-threatening fear. The root being a lack of a sense of basic trust. A naturopath teacher of mine once said that "Urvertrauen" (the German term) is something that actually each newborn should learn as the first thing, for this is the foundation for a psychologically healthy life. Same as Laura said about the imprinting phases and that either the child learns that the universe is the loving mother, or the punishing father (=threat), which will shape every interaction of the individual with people and life in general.

So my set-up is definitely the one of seeing the universe as a threatening force, only waiting for me to make a deadly mistake so it can crush me; and nothing can be trusted. This lack of trust is also being displayed in my interactions with the network. There are times when I do trust (=the new behaviour) and times when I don't (=the old behaviour). Not trusting (and this mostly goes unrecognized by me) comes along with withdrawing from interaction. Way I see it is I've been engaging in the new behaviour of trusting already (= forming new pathways within the brain), but I do fall back into the old behaviour repeatedly (=old pathways in the brain are still dominant and automatical mode, playing along whenever I'm not aware enough to choose to stop and tread the new pathways instead). So it's like the new behaviour of trust is already there, but it needs to be constantly reiterated, so that it can become the new modus operandi. It needs to be firmly settled into the brain,it needs to be integrated, and as it seems from observing my actions, it does indeed take a lot of time. So patience with myself seems another important point to bring into the equation here.

Did you mean this message?

Yes, I did, thanks! :)

Not sure exactly how it works, but lately I've found myself thinking more and more about forum members when I'm out and about.

Yes, I've seen this increasing in me as well. I'm walking around in my all-day life and have the people here so close to my heart and constantly with me it's amazing and a constant source for inner strength.

And to be honest, Puzzle, I often identify with your posts because it seems that, at least from the way you write, your glimpsing into my own mind and posting it up on the forum. There have been a few times you've posted your thoughts and I've been like "that's exactly what I've been thinking about too!" and it's encouraged me to post more.

Wow, I wouldn't have expected anyone to identify with what I post. But I understand and am glad that it has encouraged you to post more! :) And thanks for sharing, DanielS, it's comforting to know that my struggle to post can also have an effect on others. :)

Thank you all very much for your input!

 

[RedFox]

fwiw I had the same observation/fear that you spotted yourself puzzle....having been trapped by this sort of connection in the past into feeding situations/relationships I was a little wary when I read you and oxajils posts.....but that was me just projecting my fears I think. Its like seeing someone walking by a road, when you've been repeatedly hit by cars whilst trying to cross the road.....
So if there was any potential for it to turn into feeding etc I think it was only potential.....and the one thing about this network is it is very good at spotting these things.

AI's description is really useful, and its one I have to keep reminding myself of.
Having said that, a lot of you have been on my mind recently also.....I have conversations (internal forum posts) with you lot all the time!
The inner anart usually keeps me on track....when I remember to ask her about something that is. :P
I'm not sure how it quite works, if they are just parts of myself I've internalised or it is a sort of connection/feedback system at some level....the interesting this is that these boundaries seem to be getting smaller.....a merging of i's?
Its probably more complex than I realise.

I actually have a question regarding zoning out....I read a quote from In Search of the Miraculous that Bud had posted some time ago....and it sounded just like zoning out.....or am I just wishfully thinking here? Is this in fact what zoning out is?

The fourth state of consciousness (C4) is called the objective state of consciousness. In this state a man can see things as they are. Flashes of this state of consciousness also occur in man. In the religions of all nations there are indications of the possibility of a state of consciousness of this kind which is called `enlightenment' and various other names but which cannot be described in words. But the only right way to objective consciousness is through the development of self-consciousness. If an ordinary man is artificially brought into a state of objective consciousness and afterwards brought back to his usual state he will remember nothing and he will think that for a time he had lost consciousness. But in the state of self-consciousness a man can have flashes of objective consciousness and remember them.

My state of self remembering/self observing does seem to becoming more steady/constant (perhaps I am not the best person to judge this though?)....and zoning out has changed from what it use to be like.....I'm starting to get things coming back now, like the outline of an after image of something you might see....only it is a half remembered outline of a thought/emotion/understanding....an impression? I don't know what they are, but something is starting to come back slowly each time I come back from zoning out now.....perhaps it is this connection to everyone that is coming back?

Apologies for being so abstract, it is something I am unable to define at present.

*edit* to add, Puzzle and Oxajil (along with many many other forum members) your posts have touched me in the past too......it seems to be something that happens when we are working in the same direction....so perhaps it is also a recognition of walking the same path?

 

[truth seeker]

The last two nights or so, I've been seeing with my eyes closed what looks like scenes. This is different from the vague outlines or impressions of people/scenes that I was "seeing" before. This is while I'm fully conscious while doing pots. The first reminded me of the old machines in libraries where you could view newspapers in that the information/words passing moved in a linear fashion (up/down and left/right). It wasn't me searching but rather it was doing it by itself. I tried to get it to focus in on something, but the few words I was able to read didn't make sense.

The second one I think came either just after I had woken up or was already awake. This was a rectangle that contained a scene in shades of blue and either the rectangle was flipping forward, the scene was moving forward and down or a combination of both. I can't explain it any better than that.

It's as if what I'm seeing is becoming more focused, detailed and longer and at the same time happening when I'm awake (with eyes closed) as opposed to being zoned out.

Also lots of clearing of the right side of my head/ears and feels like midway through the left side. Hope all/any of that makes sense.

Oh, last thing, when in the kitchen a few days ago, I saw something resembling this shape: ) made of light? Strange.

 

[manitoban]

The second one I think came either just after I had woken up or was already awake. This was a rectangle that contained a scene in shades of blue and either the rectangle was flipping forward, the scene was moving forward and down or a combination of both. I can't explain it any better than that.

Wow, that is very interesting! Yesterday, I also saw something that sounds similar - in my case, I was suddenly looking at these blue rectangular shapes, they were sort of hanging in space, all in a row, one after another. And there was something on the rectangles, but as usual, as soon as I focused on what I was seeing, it was gone.

 

[Oxajil]

This one made me cry, Gawan. (Now I feel a connection to you. Lol, just joking.)
You're spot on with your observation. What's most conspicuous presently is the immensity of fear inside me. Life-threatening fear. The root being a lack of a sense of basic trust. A naturopath teacher of mine once said that "Urvertrauen" (the German term) is something that actually each newborn should learn as the first thing, for this is the foundation for a psychologically healthy life. Same as Laura said about the imprinting phases and that either the child learns that the universe is the loving mother, or the punishing father (=threat), which will shape every interaction of the individual with people and life in general.

So do you think this is why you might be leaning towards certain people, so that you have someone to trust? In my case this is what happened. I had a hard time sharing my feelings and thoughts on this forum, so I started to lean towards someone I trusted, and that person stimulated me to post and told me there's nothing to be afraid of, and I followed the advice given to me because I trusted that person, and also saw for myself that it was the right thing to do. Sometimes we just need little pushes, I think that is natural, and eventually we will start blooming ourselves and we will be able to trust more and be vigilant too. And indeed, I think patience is the key. I have now developed some kind of trust in this forum, so I'm not so much afraid to share anymore. But I still have this different ''feeling'' towards that person, and I think it is a gratitude feeling.

*edit* to add, Puzzle and Oxajil (along with many many other forum members) your posts have touched me in the past too......it seems to be something that happens when we are working in the same direction....so perhaps it is also a recognition of walking the same path?

I think so too. I guess you could use the symbol of Family, that this is a group of family members, and the more we know about each other's development > the more we help each other > the more we create a bond with each other. It's like spending time with each other, and we are bonding this way.
I think it is quite natural and healthy to some extent.

Sorry for going off-topic.

 

[truth seeker]

The second one I think came either just after I had woken up or was already awake. This was a rectangle that contained a scene in shades of blue and either the rectangle was flipping forward, the scene was moving forward and down or a combination of both. I can't explain it any better than that.

Wow, that is very interesting! Yesterday, I also saw something that sounds similar - in my case, I was suddenly looking at these blue rectangular shapes, they were sort of hanging in space, all in a row, one after another. And there was something on the rectangles, but as usual, as soon as I focused on what I was seeing, it was gone.

The scene I had in blue happened last night/this morning as well. Pretty wild! Were you awake as well when it happened? That was what made me consider it unusual.

 

[manitoban]

The scene I had in blue happened last night/this morning as well. Pretty wild! Were you awake as well when it happened? That was what made me consider it unusual.

Yes, I was awake, but my eyes were closed, yet I could see the scene.

 

[truth seeker]

The scene I had in blue happened last night/this morning as well. Pretty wild! Were you awake as well when it happened? That was what made me consider it unusual.

Yes, I was awake, but my eyes were closed, yet I could see the scene.

Interesting indeed!