obyvatel
The Living Force
This is a relatively short book which deals with issues of a specific personality type which the author has termed as having PCS constellation traits - related to issues with perfectionism, control and shame.
[quote author=Aleta Edwards]
I have written this book for a specific type of person, one that I frequently see in my private practice. These people - whom I refer to as "PCS personalities" - suffer from problems with perfectionism, control, and shame, but they also have trouble with making decisions, think in rigid black-and-white terms, live in dread of criticism (especially selfcriticism), and experience poor self-esteem, among other characteristics. I like to picture the individual issues of this PCS constellation as the spokes of a wheel. The hub of this wheel is what PCS personalities really feel inside that drives them to have these problems. It is the center of this wheel that needs to heal; then the whole constellation of issues or symptoms can disappear.
Although the name "PCS personality" comes from just three of the traits often found in this personality - perfectionism, control, and shame - I could just as easily have chosen any of the others. PCS is simply a shorthand way to refer to all the traits which are all found to a degree in anyone with this personality. You might recognize some of these traits as those of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), but the clients I see with this personality type do not have the essential features of this disorder. People with true OCD, with their repetitive, often elaborate rituals, are in such pain that it often prevents them from participating in insight-oriented psychotherapy or even the type of self-reflection that is required by this book.
Thus, though the PCS personality may share some traits with the obsessive-compulsive, most come to me suffering from depression, anxiety, or panic disorders. Sometimes they have already been to another therapist who has told them that their anxiety or other symptoms are best treated with cognitive-behavioral therapy, which teaches coping devices to alleviate and control the symptoms. They learn these techniques but then are dissatisfied with the results, because they know on some level that something is causing them to have the symptoms that they continue to cope with. The symptoms that are being treated are merely the manifestation of their underlying feelings, which remain in place even after being taught new ways of "coping." No one has ever told them that there is hope that they can actually heal, by addressing the "hub" of their personality, the underlying dynamics that cause them to suffer. They have never been asked to tell their "story," the narrative of their lives that led to the symptoms.
[/quote]
The writing exercises suggested in the Redirect thread as well as the more general historical narrative that Laura has suggested here mesh well with the approach taken in this book, which has got many directed writing exercises addressing such key issues.
The author clearly differentiates between the PCS personality type whom she describes as being fundamentally ethical and concerned about others to some extent with pathological and abusive personalities - ones described as having "character disturbances" by George Simon . She does not go into much detail about the disturbed characters but states that the techniques used in the book are specifically for the ethical PCS types.
Regarding the abyss, which is similar to what is known as "shadow" in Jungian psychology, the author writes
[quote author=Aleta Edwards]
I have found that, on a deeper level, people suffering from PCS dynamics have what I call a fear of the Abyss. They fear that should they let up on their rigid control, a very bad person, lurking within their dark side or
Abyss, will be released and dominate their personality. What they often fear is that they will become like some person, usually a parent or other important person in their early lives, some of whose habits or personality they abhor and feel they have within themselves. It is no wonder people with PCS complain of poor self-esteem. Feeling you have some kind of monster inside will not make anyone feel good - quite the opposite.
My clients with PCS issues always have this Abyss, like the workaholic who is afraid of being lazy, or the person who must stick to the exact truth at all times, even at the risk of offending others, because he fears becoming a liar. This fear of the Abyss is rooted in the mistaken belief that one must hide from a part of oneself at any cost to keep the lid on. It is a waste of energy going through life defending against these painful and scary feelings. It is far better to confront the feelings and live fully.
.........................................
To really modify a personality, you need to become aware of thoughts and feelings that were not conscious before. We have talked, for example, about black–and-white thinking and rigid associations that PCS people make. Recall the people who imagined a whole personality in people who were simply late, or who chose to dye their hair. You will
also recall the clients I discussed who thought a little white lie was terrible and felt that they must be brutally honest at all times. But why do people have the specific associations that they do? I will sometimes ask a PCS person why he or she needs to be perfect, and he or she will answer that whenever they were imperfect in the past they were subjected to cruelty or humiliation for not being perfect. This is part of the answer, and a good historical one; that is, the answer explains
how the behavior or feeling developed and was reinforced in the past. Yet, we are in the present. An historical answer does not address what is in a person’s head and heart now.
......................
I have called the real and underlying fear PCS people have that manifests in the different spokes the Abyss, for a dark, bottomless pit that one fears falling into. The Abyss is not the way you would like to think of yourself, but the self-image you fear and try not to know. The spokes of the wheel are designed to help you lose awareness of this feared self-image, to deny it, and to split it into the many different spokes or issues we have discussed.
.........
The Abyss, then, is the much-feared self-image that runs counter to the image people pretend they have. It is the hidden self-image that is so feared that PCS people feel they must go to the opposite extreme to deny it. Where does the Abyss come from? Of course, it comes from the past; specifically, it can be rooted in your idea of another person. We often
hear people say they are afraid of being like their mother or father. At the time they say this, they do have some awareness of the Abyss, but they then swing to its opposite extreme, in an attempt to over-compensate for these feared aspects of their self-image.
The Abyss, then, can be a dreaded other that forms a hidden part of a person’s self-image. A self-image does not have to be accurate, but it nonetheless has a huge influence over the personality. The self-image that represents a dreaded other is defended against by the spokes of the wheel, preventing self-awareness and further emotional growth.
Besides a dreaded other, the Abyss can also be a self-image based on how a person was described or made to feel as a child - a cruel, distorted vision of oneself. As adults, some people still feel awkward, stupid, or unappealing, and go to extremes to avoid this knowledge. When a spoke is tapped, the fear of the Abyss is activated, and the fearful PCS
person reacts in one of the ways described here as the PCS traits. The person fleeing from the Abyss unwittingly creates a prison that becomes emotionally stifling.
[/quote]
The book is available in various electronic formats. I found the book useful having PCS issues myself. It may be of help to others who struggle with similar issues.
[quote author=Aleta Edwards]
I have written this book for a specific type of person, one that I frequently see in my private practice. These people - whom I refer to as "PCS personalities" - suffer from problems with perfectionism, control, and shame, but they also have trouble with making decisions, think in rigid black-and-white terms, live in dread of criticism (especially selfcriticism), and experience poor self-esteem, among other characteristics. I like to picture the individual issues of this PCS constellation as the spokes of a wheel. The hub of this wheel is what PCS personalities really feel inside that drives them to have these problems. It is the center of this wheel that needs to heal; then the whole constellation of issues or symptoms can disappear.
Although the name "PCS personality" comes from just three of the traits often found in this personality - perfectionism, control, and shame - I could just as easily have chosen any of the others. PCS is simply a shorthand way to refer to all the traits which are all found to a degree in anyone with this personality. You might recognize some of these traits as those of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), but the clients I see with this personality type do not have the essential features of this disorder. People with true OCD, with their repetitive, often elaborate rituals, are in such pain that it often prevents them from participating in insight-oriented psychotherapy or even the type of self-reflection that is required by this book.
Thus, though the PCS personality may share some traits with the obsessive-compulsive, most come to me suffering from depression, anxiety, or panic disorders. Sometimes they have already been to another therapist who has told them that their anxiety or other symptoms are best treated with cognitive-behavioral therapy, which teaches coping devices to alleviate and control the symptoms. They learn these techniques but then are dissatisfied with the results, because they know on some level that something is causing them to have the symptoms that they continue to cope with. The symptoms that are being treated are merely the manifestation of their underlying feelings, which remain in place even after being taught new ways of "coping." No one has ever told them that there is hope that they can actually heal, by addressing the "hub" of their personality, the underlying dynamics that cause them to suffer. They have never been asked to tell their "story," the narrative of their lives that led to the symptoms.
[/quote]
The writing exercises suggested in the Redirect thread as well as the more general historical narrative that Laura has suggested here mesh well with the approach taken in this book, which has got many directed writing exercises addressing such key issues.
The author clearly differentiates between the PCS personality type whom she describes as being fundamentally ethical and concerned about others to some extent with pathological and abusive personalities - ones described as having "character disturbances" by George Simon . She does not go into much detail about the disturbed characters but states that the techniques used in the book are specifically for the ethical PCS types.
Regarding the abyss, which is similar to what is known as "shadow" in Jungian psychology, the author writes
[quote author=Aleta Edwards]
I have found that, on a deeper level, people suffering from PCS dynamics have what I call a fear of the Abyss. They fear that should they let up on their rigid control, a very bad person, lurking within their dark side or
Abyss, will be released and dominate their personality. What they often fear is that they will become like some person, usually a parent or other important person in their early lives, some of whose habits or personality they abhor and feel they have within themselves. It is no wonder people with PCS complain of poor self-esteem. Feeling you have some kind of monster inside will not make anyone feel good - quite the opposite.
My clients with PCS issues always have this Abyss, like the workaholic who is afraid of being lazy, or the person who must stick to the exact truth at all times, even at the risk of offending others, because he fears becoming a liar. This fear of the Abyss is rooted in the mistaken belief that one must hide from a part of oneself at any cost to keep the lid on. It is a waste of energy going through life defending against these painful and scary feelings. It is far better to confront the feelings and live fully.
.........................................
To really modify a personality, you need to become aware of thoughts and feelings that were not conscious before. We have talked, for example, about black–and-white thinking and rigid associations that PCS people make. Recall the people who imagined a whole personality in people who were simply late, or who chose to dye their hair. You will
also recall the clients I discussed who thought a little white lie was terrible and felt that they must be brutally honest at all times. But why do people have the specific associations that they do? I will sometimes ask a PCS person why he or she needs to be perfect, and he or she will answer that whenever they were imperfect in the past they were subjected to cruelty or humiliation for not being perfect. This is part of the answer, and a good historical one; that is, the answer explains
how the behavior or feeling developed and was reinforced in the past. Yet, we are in the present. An historical answer does not address what is in a person’s head and heart now.
......................
I have called the real and underlying fear PCS people have that manifests in the different spokes the Abyss, for a dark, bottomless pit that one fears falling into. The Abyss is not the way you would like to think of yourself, but the self-image you fear and try not to know. The spokes of the wheel are designed to help you lose awareness of this feared self-image, to deny it, and to split it into the many different spokes or issues we have discussed.
.........
The Abyss, then, is the much-feared self-image that runs counter to the image people pretend they have. It is the hidden self-image that is so feared that PCS people feel they must go to the opposite extreme to deny it. Where does the Abyss come from? Of course, it comes from the past; specifically, it can be rooted in your idea of another person. We often
hear people say they are afraid of being like their mother or father. At the time they say this, they do have some awareness of the Abyss, but they then swing to its opposite extreme, in an attempt to over-compensate for these feared aspects of their self-image.
The Abyss, then, can be a dreaded other that forms a hidden part of a person’s self-image. A self-image does not have to be accurate, but it nonetheless has a huge influence over the personality. The self-image that represents a dreaded other is defended against by the spokes of the wheel, preventing self-awareness and further emotional growth.
Besides a dreaded other, the Abyss can also be a self-image based on how a person was described or made to feel as a child - a cruel, distorted vision of oneself. As adults, some people still feel awkward, stupid, or unappealing, and go to extremes to avoid this knowledge. When a spoke is tapped, the fear of the Abyss is activated, and the fearful PCS
person reacts in one of the ways described here as the PCS traits. The person fleeing from the Abyss unwittingly creates a prison that becomes emotionally stifling.
[/quote]
The book is available in various electronic formats. I found the book useful having PCS issues myself. It may be of help to others who struggle with similar issues.
