Z said:
yeah, but you don't *really* know us. As for being surprised, if you look again at the questions, it becomes pretty obvious that if you pick "characteristic" or "very characteristic" for the answers, you're going to be called a narcissist.
Are you an introvert or just a covert narcissist? Test!
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yeah, but you don't *really* know us. As for being surprised, if you look again at the questions, it becomes pretty obvious that if you pick "characteristic" or "very characteristic" for the answers, you're going to be called a narcissist.
whitecoast said:24/50. Probably not, but at the higher end of that. I noticed that I was quite immoderate in my answers though, with few neutrals. I wonder if that's indicative of a more neurotic type of emotional pattern rather than a narcissistic?
I'd say yes, people with neurotic tendencies would be likely to score themselves more on the "characteristic" side.
Z said:
Well, narcissists can be insecure. I don't think it's an either or situation. Also, needing to know FOR SURE that you are appreciated when you are in a group suggests a demand for overt means of showing that. Yeah it's about insecurity, but also about forcing other people to conform to you insecurities. That's why I felt it would be an indication of narcissism.
Buddy
The Living Force
Heimdallr said:
I agree. I occasionally do 'get lost' (but not really lost) thinking about those things, but it's not just idle thought. I'm generally looking for ways to understand or improve something.
Heimdallr said:
Agree here too. Since context wasn't distinguished, I just went for whatever the 'yes' answer was.
Heimdallr said:
Me neither. Even though I was a bit concerned with the word "most", still my answer recognized my awareness of differences between others and myself.
Heimdallr said:
I go into relatively small rooms, and when I enter, everyone usually IS looking at me and I may become self-conscious of anything at all - from my posture to whether or not I appear clean-shaven or even puffy-eyed from an occasion of staying up too late reading. I don't recall my self-consciousness getting stuck on embarrassment or "liking it", though. I'm just there to do what I need to be doing.
Heimdallr said:
The above in no way applies to me. I enjoy seeing other people get the credit they deserve! And sometime I will even go out of my way to ensure they get it.
Heimdallr said:
My personal response here was to simply admit that it has happened in my life the way it reads. For me, the set-up here is often that my [specific staff positions redacted] represent "everyone else’s issues" and that some of their "issues" are causing me so many problems I sometimes don't have time to get embroiled in more drama or have the time to compensate for other [specific staff or advisory positions redacted]'s more sedentary, whiny lifestyles.
Heimdallr said:
Don't know, but I answered this in recognition that I have taken things too personally sometimes, but that doesn't necessarily mean I overtly over-reacted or in any way harmed anyone as if I were blaming them and wanted them to suffer or something.
Heimdallr said:
I answered this in memory of times I've been "in the flow" and the activity I was engaged with didn't include anyone else anyway.
Heimdallr said:
I'd say it depends on the group, my reason for being there, etc. I answered in recognition that even though it has happened in the past, I also can function in a group and as a group member without "needing" distracting and uncomfortable focusing on me just for that purpose. For the types of work and things I do, "I'm just here to help where I can" is generally my attitude and if someone does the "oh, I appreciate you so much!" thing, I usually intuit that the opposite is really the case or I put the focus back on them with some version of "No, thank YOU for YOUR service! We couldn't do all this without YOUR help!"
Heimdallr said:
I'm glad you mentioned the "timing" factor. I answered in recognition that this has happened to me on more than one occasion, but it was job-related and involved a "timing" issue. Any other time would usually involve a person who has already sucked up more of my time and energy than was reasonable, even though I dealt with him professionally, and his need for "sympathy" was more like wanting me just for my ears and my job position so he could continue validating his refusal to listen to the people who were trying to help him and trying to get him to do what he needed to do.
Overall, I didn't put much thought into the questions at the time, nor did I try to analyze their purpose because I was pretty tired and pretty unconcerned how it might turn out. Laura mentioned a need for "honesty" in the OP, so that's all I put real effort into, I think. And toward that end, I did that thing I do when I read a question and then let my subconscious do it's thing with a sort of Bayesian analysis of probabilities and then I selected the answer that appeared. Probably should be more careful of that, though.
There are two issues here: 1) getting lost and 2) MEism. That is to say, getting lost suggests lack of control of thinking, and when one does that, one fails to notice the environment and others. It is dissociating and living in a bubble.
When I was a teenager, I was certainly inclined this way, and when I was going through the break-up of my marriage, to some extent as well. But no, I don't get lost in my own thoughts especially not about my problems. I may set aside a time to think about such things, or especially to talk about them with the individuals in question.
When I work, I CAN concentrate mightily, but that is done with an aim in mind. And I can pull myself back at any moment that my "environment monitor" signals me that it is necessary.
While I was teased and bullied some as a kid, this was only a problem for me during my reproductive years when I was a little nuts/fragile for about 1 week out of every month. It kind of peaked during menopause, but that uber-sensitivity is no longer present. I've also learned to deal with such feelings in the moment. If someone says something to me that is over the line, I will tell them "that's not nice and here's why, please don't do it again... how would YOU feel" etc.
While I know, realistically, that I feel things VERY intensely, I also know there is a certain segment of the population that is very similar. So I don't feel "different" since I know that we are basically all the same, just that there is a spectrum of intensity. And reading things like "Strangers to Ourselves" and related psychology helps us all to know that the brains/nervous systems of everyone work pretty much the same, so get over feeling speshul.
I rarely experienced this, even as a kid, because I was always pretty alert to what was going on around. I was more interested in my environment and other people than I was interested in turning my focus inward.
Big, big nope! I actually enjoy helping others to do something that makes them feel good and letting them have all the credit. I noticed at a very young age how desperate some people were to be able to do things and feel good and I guess that just acted on my sympathy bone.
Super big no. One thing I learned very early was that helping others with their problems put my own in perspective and actually made mine go away to a great extent.
No. I tend to NOT takes things personally even when they are sometimes meant personally! I think I am so "other focused" that people sometimes have to be explicit in those ways.
As I noted above, I can concentrate mightily on work, but that is an aim. I don't forget for an instant that the people around me exist, but I also know that they give me this space to work and that is a gift.
That's so silly to me. If you are in a group, spend your time observing and learning!
Never. However, I'm in a position where if I did that with everyone, I'd never do anything else so I try to teach people to help each other. I take the time to monitor what is going on as best I can (there is just so much!), but I don't find people's problems annoying, I find it to be a challenge to try to figure out how to help.
I DO get a bit annoyed when you spend a lot of time helping someone and they take no action on their own and just keep whining and complaining.
So, the end result for me was 10/50.
Jefferson said:
Jefferson, no way could you even remotely be considered a covert narcissist since you are an overt one. Try this test:
http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/narcissistic.htm
But interesting that you were narcissistic enough to think you could answer for me and that we might be similar.
Sometimes I can. I have done, but it's not habitual, if that is what is being implied. But because I can, have done sometimes, I picked "characteristic"
Again, has happened/can happen. So I picked "characteristic"
I interpreted this sort of as "world view" and how we perceive it and react to it emotionally compared to the average person. In which case, "characteristic".
In the past, sure, at times, and nervousness when speaking to a crowd of people and thinking they're all looking at you (which they are!), but it's not the case any more but because it used to be, I think I picked "neutral".
I'm starting to realise that I answered most of these questions based on whether or not I ever had a tendency to do this, even in adolescent years.
At times, yes, but generally no. So again I picked "neutral".
Same as above, but I think I picked "characteristic" because I figure that if you have the tendency, even if kept under wraps or managed, then it's still "characteristic".
Think I went for "neutral" on this one. Although I don't think I've ever forgotten that people around me even exist.
Went for "uncharacteristic" on this one.
This one I picked characteristic I think because of the times where people take too much of my time over their problem, kind of like as Laura said, people who keep whining on about something. But in general I enjoy trying to help others figure out problems.
Just redid it with all of the above in mind and got 16/50. Then again, I'm a Gemini.
Sol Logos
The Living Force
I got 23. I tried to be honest but the problem was that I had a good idea of what a narcissist would do in each question, and being somewhat of a narcissist it may have influenced me to go more the other direction - so I didn't look as bad to myself!!
However, I could of gone the full direction and got the lowest score to look the best and that's where the failure of the test might be. If I was an absolute narcissist, and have a sense of what a narcissistic tendency was, I would be gaming the test to look as non-narcissistic as possible.
The only thing where that might fall short is a narcissist by definition has little self awareness of their own narcissism.
However, I could of gone the full direction and got the lowest score to look the best and that's where the failure of the test might be. If I was an absolute narcissist, and have a sense of what a narcissistic tendency was, I would be gaming the test to look as non-narcissistic as possible.
The only thing where that might fall short is a narcissist by definition has little self awareness of their own narcissism.
Laura said:
I really love when I try to guess what another person´s reaction or thought will be, only to discover I´ve completely failed. This doesn´t bother me at all because when that happens and have an opportunity to talk with that person, it´s incredibly amazing how much unconscious stuff suddenly springs into light, specially in those cases where I´m stubbornly sure of my own interpretations. This has helped me a lot of letting go of any self importance and anticipation.
Curiously, I found the test about narcissism was much more easy to answer as I found there were fewer questions that might depend upon certain contexts. I quoted 5, which quotes as very low in narcissism traits. Could it be then that the first test seemed more "unserious" and gave rise to many doubts because the questions tapped directly into the dichotomy of how we are conditioned and how much work have we done so far? And then deciding to which side we belong? After reading Laura´s answer, one thing is obvious to me. There is a huge difference between her and myself because she was and is passionate about all things she got/get involved with, and also fought for it with all her might. Her life has been an ongoing learning process, iow she already is her own aim, but her suffering has nothing to do with Making Decisions, as common people think about it.
Following the same reasoning, albeit certainly on another level, I found it easy to answer the narcissistic test because of a whole lot of questions that seem so alien to me. But when it comes to answering those questions that are part of my traits in the first test, answers aren´t that easy to define anymore. And me who thought tests were just entertainment.
