Are you an introvert or just a covert narcissist? Test!

[Joe]

I suppose that, by definition, this test actually is a test of the potential difference between what we like to think of ourselves and how we actually are. I wonder how other people who actually know us, those without significant favoritism towards us, would score us.

I was surprised with such a high score, I always thought of myself as innocent introvert, which is understandable - we always lie to our self.
But I was also very surprised you, or Odyssey as example of people I know ( at least a bit) got equally high score. In other words I would score both of you much less, and I have no reason for "significant favoritism" towards you, OSIT.

yeah, but you don't *really* know us. As for being surprised, if you look again at the questions, it becomes pretty obvious that if you pick "characteristic" or "very characteristic" for the answers, you're going to be called a narcissist.

 

[Joe]

24/50. Probably not, but at the higher end of that. I noticed that I was quite immoderate in my answers though, with few neutrals. I wonder if that's indicative of a more neurotic type of emotional pattern rather than a narcissistic?

I'd say yes, people with neurotic tendencies would be likely to score themselves more on the "characteristic" side.

 

[Beau]

9. I don’t like being with a group unless I know for sure that I’m appreciated by at least one of those present.

I'd say answering yes to this would be an indication of narcissism.

I disagree with this one. Again I would imagine it to be an indication of insecurity rather then narcissism.

Well, narcissists can be insecure. I don't think it's an either or situation. Also, needing to know FOR SURE that you are appreciated when you are in a group suggests a demand for overt means of showing that. Yeah it's about insecurity, but also about forcing other people to conform to you insecurities. That's why I felt it would be an indication of narcissism.

 

[Buddy]

Here are the questions for further reference:

1. Sometimes I get lost in my own thoughts about my problems and my relationships.

I would argue that this statement, without any further qualification, would not mean one is narcissistic. Some people don't think at all about themselves or their relationships. They have no introspection whatsoever, and they could be very narcissistic. If it's 'very characteristic' that I 'sometimes' get lost thinking about my problems, it could be narcissism or it could be that I have a lot of problems that constantly need considering. It just depends on context which is why tests like these are rather unreliable.

I agree. I occasionally do 'get lost' (but not really lost) thinking about those things, but it's not just idle thought. I'm generally looking for ways to understand or improve something.

2. My feelings are easily hurt by teasing or criticism from other people.

Again, why is it narcissistic to be hurt when teased by other people? Sure, people who are narcissistic can be extremely sensitive to criticism, to a point where it's a character fault, but others are hurt because the criticism is unfair. This test doesn't determine between contexts.

Agree here too. Since context wasn't distinguished, I just went for whatever the 'yes' answer was.

3. I feel emotionally or temperamentally different from most people.

If we're talking about most Western people, I don't see why this should be such a bad thing.

Me neither. Even though I was a bit concerned with the word "most", still my answer recognized my awareness of differences between others and myself.

4. When I enter a room, I become self-conscious, and feel as if everyone is looking at me.

We've discussed the 'spotlight effect' here on the forum. I don't know if it relates to narcissism or not. It's a very common feeling for people to feel that way, but once you're aware that what you're feeling is not objective, you an alter your behavior and self-consciousness. So I'm not sure if this is as good an indicator of narcissism than if the question were, "When I enter a room, I know everyone is looking at me and I like it".

I go into relatively small rooms, and when I enter, everyone usually IS looking at me and I may become self-conscious of anything at all - from my posture to whether or not I appear clean-shaven or even puffy-eyed from an occasion of staying up too late reading. I don't recall my self-consciousness getting stuck on embarrassment or "liking it", though. I'm just there to do what I need to be doing.

5. I don’t like sharing credit with other people.

First decent question. But not really related to introversion. An introvert could go either way, depending on their nature. Because why couldn't an introvert be a covert narcissist? The test seems to set up the notion that it's either or, and I don't think it is.

The above in no way applies to me. I enjoy seeing other people get the credit they deserve! And sometime I will even go out of my way to ensure they get it.

6. I feel like I have enough of my own problems and don’t have time to worry about everyone else’s issues.

The implication in the question is that if someone answers yes to this it means they're selfish. But are they? We are informed by the C's who say those who always focus on themselves and their problems will always be blocked. That helping others is a way to actually help ourselves. OK, but does that mean that people who don't do that are narcissistic? I guess it might.

My personal response here was to simply admit that it has happened in my life the way it reads. For me, the set-up here is often that my [specific staff positions redacted] represent "everyone else’s issues" and that some of their "issues" are causing me so many problems I sometimes don't have time to get embroiled in more drama or have the time to compensate for other [specific staff or advisory positions redacted]'s more sedentary, whiny lifestyles.

7. I often take things too personally.

Narcissists do have a hard time taking criticism or feedback about themselves well. But an introvert could go either way. Is it possible to be an introverted narcissist?

Don't know, but I answered this in recognition that I have taken things too personally sometimes, but that doesn't necessarily mean I overtly over-reacted or in any way harmed anyone as if I were blaming them and wanted them to suffer or something.

8. I easily get wrapped up in my own interests, to the point that I practically forget that the people around me even exist.

If this happens all the time, like every day, it would be difficult to be around that person. I would get really frustrated. I'd say this might be a good indicator of narcissism.

I answered this in memory of times I've been "in the flow" and the activity I was engaged with didn't include anyone else anyway.

9. I don’t like being with a group unless I know for sure that I’m appreciated by at least one of those present.

I'd say answering yes to this would be an indication of narcissism.

I'd say it depends on the group, my reason for being there, etc. I answered in recognition that even though it has happened in the past, I also can function in a group and as a group member without "needing" distracting and uncomfortable focusing on me just for that purpose. For the types of work and things I do, "I'm just here to help where I can" is generally my attitude and if someone does the "oh, I appreciate you so much!" thing, I usually intuit that the opposite is really the case or I put the focus back on them with some version of "No, thank YOU for YOUR service! We couldn't do all this without YOUR help!"

10. I try not to show it, but I’m often annoyed when people ask me to take my time and energy to sympathize over their problems.

Someone who hates to be bothered to provide emotional support could be described as narcissistic. I can see if it's happened before because of bad timing, but if it's often no matter the context, there's more going on.

So, the last part of the test seems to be decent, but I find the first 4 questions not really fitting. Of course, I could be totally off in my interpretations.

I'm glad you mentioned the "timing" factor. I answered in recognition that this has happened to me on more than one occasion, but it was job-related and involved a "timing" issue. Any other time would usually involve a person who has already sucked up more of my time and energy than was reasonable, even though I dealt with him professionally, and his need for "sympathy" was more like wanting me just for my ears and my job position so he could continue validating his refusal to listen to the people who were trying to help him and trying to get him to do what he needed to do.


Overall, I didn't put much thought into the questions at the time, nor did I try to analyze their purpose because I was pretty tired and pretty unconcerned how it might turn out. Laura mentioned a need for "honesty" in the OP, so that's all I put real effort into, I think. And toward that end, I did that thing I do when I read a question and then let my subconscious do it's thing with a sort of Bayesian analysis of probabilities and then I selected the answer that appeared. Probably should be more careful of that, though.

 

[Bobo08]

I got 28/50

You’re kind of a covert narcissist. You can be pretty self-centered, in other words, but the behavior isn’t out of control.

 

[Mal7]

I got 24/50.

I think I ended up making all my answers within the middle 3 of the 5 options, rather than choosing the extreme positions.

 

[Voyageur]

26/50

Grew up within and around covert narcissistic parental environs - so the score might even have been higher.

 

[Zar]

25/50

Yay middle man! You’re probably not a covert narcissist.
According to your answers, you probably don’t spend all your free time fantasizing about your own awesomeness. Congrats

 

[Laura]

1. Sometimes I get lost in my own thoughts about my problems and my relationships.

There are two issues here: 1) getting lost and 2) MEism. That is to say, getting lost suggests lack of control of thinking, and when one does that, one fails to notice the environment and others. It is dissociating and living in a bubble.

When I was a teenager, I was certainly inclined this way, and when I was going through the break-up of my marriage, to some extent as well. But no, I don't get lost in my own thoughts especially not about my problems. I may set aside a time to think about such things, or especially to talk about them with the individuals in question.

When I work, I CAN concentrate mightily, but that is done with an aim in mind. And I can pull myself back at any moment that my "environment monitor" signals me that it is necessary.

2. My feelings are easily hurt by teasing or criticism from other people.

While I was teased and bullied some as a kid, this was only a problem for me during my reproductive years when I was a little nuts/fragile for about 1 week out of every month. It kind of peaked during menopause, but that uber-sensitivity is no longer present. I've also learned to deal with such feelings in the moment. If someone says something to me that is over the line, I will tell them "that's not nice and here's why, please don't do it again... how would YOU feel" etc.

3. I feel emotionally or temperamentally different from most people.

While I know, realistically, that I feel things VERY intensely, I also know there is a certain segment of the population that is very similar. So I don't feel "different" since I know that we are basically all the same, just that there is a spectrum of intensity. And reading things like "Strangers to Ourselves" and related psychology helps us all to know that the brains/nervous systems of everyone work pretty much the same, so get over feeling speshul.

4. When I enter a room, I become self-conscious, and feel as if everyone is looking at me.

I rarely experienced this, even as a kid, because I was always pretty alert to what was going on around. I was more interested in my environment and other people than I was interested in turning my focus inward.

5. I don’t like sharing credit with other people.

Big, big nope! I actually enjoy helping others to do something that makes them feel good and letting them have all the credit. I noticed at a very young age how desperate some people were to be able to do things and feel good and I guess that just acted on my sympathy bone.

6. I feel like I have enough of my own problems and don’t have time to worry about everyone else’s issues.

Super big no. One thing I learned very early was that helping others with their problems put my own in perspective and actually made mine go away to a great extent.

7. I often take things too personally.

No. I tend to NOT takes things personally even when they are sometimes meant personally! I think I am so "other focused" that people sometimes have to be explicit in those ways.

8. I easily get wrapped up in my own interests, to the point that I practically forget that the people around me even exist.

As I noted above, I can concentrate mightily on work, but that is an aim. I don't forget for an instant that the people around me exist, but I also know that they give me this space to work and that is a gift.

9. I don’t like being with a group unless I know for sure that I’m appreciated by at least one of those present.

That's so silly to me. If you are in a group, spend your time observing and learning!

10. I try not to show it, but I’m often annoyed when people ask me to take my time and energy to sympathize over their problems.

Never. However, I'm in a position where if I did that with everyone, I'd never do anything else so I try to teach people to help each other. I take the time to monitor what is going on as best I can (there is just so much!), but I don't find people's problems annoying, I find it to be a challenge to try to figure out how to help.

I DO get a bit annoyed when you spend a lot of time helping someone and they take no action on their own and just keep whining and complaining.

So, the end result for me was 10/50.

 

[Kisito]

1. Sometimes I get lost in my own thoughts about my problems and my relationships.

There are two issues here: 1) getting lost and 2) MEism. That is to say, getting lost suggests lack of control of thinking, and when one does that, one fails to notice the environment and others. It is dissociating and living in a bubble.

When I was a teenager, I was certainly inclined this way, and when I was going through the break-up of my marriage, to some extent as well. But no, I don't get lost in my own thoughts especially not about my problems. I may set aside a time to think about such things, or especially to talk about them with the individuals in question.

When I work, I CAN concentrate mightily, but that is done with an aim in mind. And I can pull myself back at any moment that my "environment monitor" signals me that it is necessary.

2. My feelings are easily hurt by teasing or criticism from other people.

While I was teased and bullied some as a kid, this was only a problem for me during my reproductive years when I was a little nuts/fragile for about 1 week out of every month. It kind of peaked during menopause, but that uber-sensitivity is no longer present. I've also learned to deal with such feelings in the moment. If someone says something to me that is over the line, I will tell them "that's not nice and here's why, please don't do it again... how would YOU feel" etc.

3. I feel emotionally or temperamentally different from most people.

While I know, realistically, that I feel things VERY intensely, I also know there is a certain segment of the population that is very similar. So I don't feel "different" since I know that we are basically all the same, just that there is a spectrum of intensity. And reading things like "Strangers to Ourselves" and related psychology helps us all to know that the brains/nervous systems of everyone work pretty much the same, so get over feeling speshul.

4. When I enter a room, I become self-conscious, and feel as if everyone is looking at me.

I rarely experienced this, even as a kid, because I was always pretty alert to what was going on around. I was more interested in my environment and other people than I was interested in turning my focus inward.

5. I don’t like sharing credit with other people.

Big, big nope! I actually enjoy helping others to do something that makes them feel good and letting them have all the credit. I noticed at a very young age how desperate some people were to be able to do things and feel good and I guess that just acted on my sympathy bone.

6. I feel like I have enough of my own problems and don’t have time to worry about everyone else’s issues.

Super big no. One thing I learned very early was that helping others with their problems put my own in perspective and actually made mine go away to a great extent.

7. I often take things too personally.

No. I tend to NOT takes things personally even when they are sometimes meant personally! I think I am so "other focused" that people sometimes have to be explicit in those ways.

8. I easily get wrapped up in my own interests, to the point that I practically forget that the people around me even exist.

As I noted above, I can concentrate mightily on work, but that is an aim. I don't forget for an instant that the people around me exist, but I also know that they give me this space to work and that is a gift.

9. I don’t like being with a group unless I know for sure that I’m appreciated by at least one of those present.

That's so silly to me. If you are in a group, spend your time observing and learning!

10. I try not to show it, but I’m often annoyed when people ask me to take my time and energy to sympathize over their problems.

Never. However, I'm in a position where if I did that with everyone, I'd never do anything else so I try to teach people to help each other. I take the time to monitor what is going on as best I can (there is just so much!), but I don't find people's problems annoying, I find it to be a challenge to try to figure out how to help.

I DO get a bit annoyed when you spend a lot of time helping someone and they take no action on their own and just keep whining and complaining.

So, the end result for me was 10/50.

I agree with all the answers. I think most members agree. But how do you explain the many high scores forum members? Have they too pondered, thinking that there was a trap? And there is no shortage do you think of the most relevant issues, such jealousy?

 

[Laura]

30/50 for me.

I tried going into Laura's shoes, answering for her, and I had differing answers for most of the questions and it came up with same score 30/50.

Jefferson, no way could you even remotely be considered a covert narcissist since you are an overt one. Try this test:
http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/narcissistic.htm

But interesting that you were narcissistic enough to think you could answer for me and that we might be similar.

 

[Joe]

1. Sometimes I get lost in my own thoughts about my problems and my relationships.

Sometimes I can. I have done, but it's not habitual, if that is what is being implied. But because I can, have done sometimes, I picked "characteristic"

2. My feelings are easily hurt by teasing or criticism from other people.

Again, has happened/can happen. So I picked "characteristic"

3. I feel emotionally or temperamentally different from most people.

I interpreted this sort of as "world view" and how we perceive it and react to it emotionally compared to the average person. In which case, "characteristic".

4. When I enter a room, I become self-conscious, and feel as if everyone is looking at me.

In the past, sure, at times, and nervousness when speaking to a crowd of people and thinking they're all looking at you (which they are!), but it's not the case any more but because it used to be, I think I picked "neutral".

5. I don’t like sharing credit with other people.

I'm starting to realise that I answered most of these questions based on whether or not I ever had a tendency to do this, even in adolescent years.

6. I feel like I have enough of my own problems and don’t have time to worry about everyone else’s issues.

At times, yes, but generally no. So again I picked "neutral".

7. I often take things too personally.

Same as above, but I think I picked "characteristic" because I figure that if you have the tendency, even if kept under wraps or managed, then it's still "characteristic".

8. I easily get wrapped up in my own interests, to the point that I practically forget that the people around me even exist.

Think I went for "neutral" on this one. Although I don't think I've ever forgotten that people around me even exist.

9. I don’t like being with a group unless I know for sure that I’m appreciated by at least one of those present.

Went for "uncharacteristic" on this one.

10. I try not to show it, but I’m often annoyed when people ask me to take my time and energy to sympathize over their problems.

This one I picked characteristic I think because of the times where people take too much of my time over their problem, kind of like as Laura said, people who keep whining on about something. But in general I enjoy trying to help others figure out problems.

Just redid it with all of the above in mind and got 16/50. Then again, I'm a Gemini.

 

[Sol Logos]

I got 23. I tried to be honest but the problem was that I had a good idea of what a narcissist would do in each question, and being somewhat of a narcissist it may have influenced me to go more the other direction - so I didn't look as bad to myself!!

However, I could of gone the full direction and got the lowest score to look the best and that's where the failure of the test might be. If I was an absolute narcissist, and have a sense of what a narcissistic tendency was, I would be gaming the test to look as non-narcissistic as possible.

The only thing where that might fall short is a narcissist by definition has little self awareness of their own narcissism.

 

[Nienna]

21/50.

 

[hesperides]

30/50 for me.

I tried going into Laura's shoes, answering for her, and I had differing answers for most of the questions and it came up with same score 30/50.

Jefferson, no way could you even remotely be considered a covert narcissist since you are an overt one. Try this test:
http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/narcissistic.htm

But interesting that you were narcissistic enough to think you could answer for me and that we might be similar.

I really love when I try to guess what another person´s reaction or thought will be, only to discover I´ve completely failed. This doesn´t bother me at all because when that happens and have an opportunity to talk with that person, it´s incredibly amazing how much unconscious stuff suddenly springs into light, specially in those cases where I´m stubbornly sure of my own interpretations. This has helped me a lot of letting go of any self importance and anticipation.

Curiously, I found the test about narcissism was much more easy to answer as I found there were fewer questions that might depend upon certain contexts. I quoted 5, which quotes as very low in narcissism traits. Could it be then that the first test seemed more "unserious" and gave rise to many doubts because the questions tapped directly into the dichotomy of how we are conditioned and how much work have we done so far? And then deciding to which side we belong? After reading Laura´s answer, one thing is obvious to me. There is a huge difference between her and myself because she was and is passionate about all things she got/get involved with, and also fought for it with all her might. Her life has been an ongoing learning process, iow she already is her own aim, but her suffering has nothing to do with Making Decisions, as common people think about it.

Following the same reasoning, albeit certainly on another level, I found it easy to answer the narcissistic test because of a whole lot of questions that seem so alien to me. But when it comes to answering those questions that are part of my traits in the first test, answers aren´t that easy to define anymore. And me who thought tests were just entertainment.