Are you an introvert or just a covert narcissist? Test!

[Deleted member 4320]

Well I’m not awesome.... can anybody explain in simple terms the difference between introverted and covert narcissism...? the information presented seems to gone over my head, or is simply ridiculous.

Having a bad cognitive moment or something...

I think the point is that this what is perceived as a introversion really is a narcissism. Simple. I think this is what author has on mind.

 

[marek760]

33/50

You’re kind of a covert narcissist.
You can be pretty self-centered, in other words, but the behavior isn’t out of control.

 

[David]

Well I’m not awesome.... can anybody explain in simple terms the difference between introverted and covert narcissism...? the information presented seems to gone over my head, or is simply ridiculous.

Having a bad cognitive moment or something...

I think the point is that this what is perceived as a introversion really is a narcissism. Simple. I think this is what author has on mind.

Your awesome Lux.... much appreciated. just got stuck on the title of this thread

 

[know_yourself_1234]

41/50

You’re a covert narcissist. It’s what some researchers call the dark side of introversion: All the introspection that’s typical of introverts, plus the entitlement and grandiosity that comes along with narcissism.

Fortunately, there are still 9 uncaught badness points

 

[Laura]

There weren't that many questions; maybe we should list them and examine them?

 

[StrangeCaptain]

I got 33. Would've had 63 four or five years ago... Is that progress? ;-p

 

[luc]

There weren't that many questions; maybe we should list them and examine them?

Here are the questions for further reference:

1. Sometimes I get lost in my own thoughts about my problems and my relationships.

2. My feelings are easily hurt by teasing or criticism from other people.

3. I feel emotionally or temperamentally different from most people.

4. When I enter a room, I become self-conscious, and feel as if everyone is looking at me.

5. I don’t like sharing credit with other people.

6. I feel like I have enough of my own problems and don’t have time to worry about everyone else’s issues.

7. I often take things too personally.

8. I easily get wrapped up in my own interests, to the point that I practically forget that the people around me even exist.

9. I don’t like being with a group unless I know for sure that I’m appreciated by at least one of those present.

10. I try not to show it, but I’m often annoyed when people ask me to take my time and energy to sympathize over their problems.

 

[SummerLite]

29/50 here.

You’re kind of a covert narcissist.
You can be pretty self-centered, in other words, but the behavior isn’t out of control.

 

[Solie123]

Here's how I got a 31:

I think it's also important to share why you answered how you did always.





1. Sometimes I get lost in my own thoughts about my problems and my relationships.

I answer neutral because I do like to contemplate not necessarily my problems but my thoughts and ideas and sometimes that include my problems

2. My feelings are easily hurt by teasing or criticism from other people.

I used to get bullied a lot as a kid, and the fact that my parents had some narcissistic tendency toward me didn't help. I can't say if I would hurt if the same happened today, since I don't feel I get criticized much so I answered very strongly because of the only reference point I have.

3. I feel emotionally or temperamentally different from most people.

I did as a teenager XD which wasn't so long ago, so I answered neutral as to not prop myself up too much.

4. When I enter a room, I become self-conscious, and feel as if everyone is looking at me.

Not really, but I guess it depends so, Neutral

5. I don’t like sharing credit with other people.

That's not true, but I have had people take away credit from me, and I didn't like so I answered strongly.

6. I feel like I have enough of my own problems and don’t have time to worry about everyone else’s issues.

Not me at all

7. I often take things too personally.

Very Strongly, but it's been getting so much better in the past few months

8. I easily get wrapped up in my own interests, to the point that I practically forget that the people around me even exist.

Neutral, because I don't forget people's existence XD But I do get lost in my thoughts

9. I don’t like being with a group unless I know for sure that I’m appreciated by at least one of those present.

Eh, I answered strongly because I don't like being in groups usually when there's not someone who shares common interest, cause usually groups want to go out and drink or party XD and I don't want to, I rather do something else.

10. I try not to show it, but I’m often annoyed when people ask me to take my time and energy to sympathize over their problems.

Strongly, but only in special cases like a cousin I have, who calls me every other day to complain about out family, and she doesn't actually seek advice, she just wants a rub on the back, and sometimes it's draining and I don't like to hear destructive gossip.

 

[Jefferson]

30/50 for me.

I tried going into Laura's shoes, answering for her, and I had differing answers for most of the questions and it came up with same score 30/50.

 

[Beau]

Here are the questions for further reference:

1. Sometimes I get lost in my own thoughts about my problems and my relationships.

I would argue that this statement, without any further qualification, would not mean one is narcissistic. Some people don't think at all about themselves or their relationships. They have no introspection whatsoever, and they could be very narcissistic. If it's 'very characteristic' that I 'sometimes' get lost thinking about my problems, it could be narcissism or it could be that I have a lot of problems that constantly need considering. It just depends on context which is why tests like these are rather unreliable.

2. My feelings are easily hurt by teasing or criticism from other people.

Again, why is it narcissistic to be hurt when teased by other people? Sure, people who are narcissistic can be extremely sensitive to criticism, to a point where it's a character fault, but others are hurt because the criticism is unfair. This test doesn't determine between contexts.

3. I feel emotionally or temperamentally different from most people.

If we're talking about most Western people, I don't see why this should be such a bad thing.

4. When I enter a room, I become self-conscious, and feel as if everyone is looking at me.

We've discussed the 'spotlight effect' here on the forum. I don't know if it relates to narcissism or not. It's a very common feeling for people to feel that way, but once you're aware that what you're feeling is not objective, you an alter your behavior and self-consciousness. So I'm not sure if this is as good an indicator of narcissism than if the question were, "When I enter a room, I know everyone is looking at me and I like it".

5. I don’t like sharing credit with other people.

First decent question. But not really related to introversion. An introvert could go either way, depending on their nature. Because why couldn't an introvert be a covert narcissist? The test seems to set up the notion that it's either or, and I don't think it is.

6. I feel like I have enough of my own problems and don’t have time to worry about everyone else’s issues.

The implication in the question is that if someone answers yes to this it means they're selfish. But are they? We are informed by the C's who say those who always focus on themselves and their problems will always be blocked. That helping others is a way to actually help ourselves. OK, but does that mean that people who don't do that are narcissistic? I guess it might.

7. I often take things too personally.

Narcissists do have a hard time taking criticism or feedback about themselves well. But an introvert could go either way. Is it possible to be an introverted narcissist?

8. I easily get wrapped up in my own interests, to the point that I practically forget that the people around me even exist.

If this happens all the time, like every day, it would be difficult to be around that person. I would get really frustrated. I'd say this might be a good indicator of narcissism.

9. I don’t like being with a group unless I know for sure that I’m appreciated by at least one of those present.

I'd say answering yes to this would be an indication of narcissism.

10. I try not to show it, but I’m often annoyed when people ask me to take my time and energy to sympathize over their problems.

Someone who hates to be bothered to provide emotional support could be described as narcissistic. I can see if it's happened before because of bad timing, but if it's often no matter the context, there's more going on.

So, the last part of the test seems to be decent, but I find the first 4 questions not really fitting. Of course, I could be totally off in my interpretations.

 

[irjO]

24/50

You’re probably not a covert narcissist. According to your answers, you probably don’t spend all your free time fantasizing about your own awesomeness. Congrats.

 

[luc]

Here are some thoughts on the first 5 questions:

1. Sometimes I get lost in my own thoughts about my problems and my relationships.

I know that one. Of course, self-observation and the drive to change (or positive disintegration) kind of implies that we think about ourselves and our problems. But there has to be a balance and it shouldn't make us disfunctional and unavailable to those around us I think. In fact, if we think about ourselves all the time, empathy becomes impossible. On the other hand, if we gain true insights about our experiences and states of being, it can actually strengthen empathy, because we can then recognize these things in others and feel what they experience. This of course requires a sharp focus on the other, which is not there when we focus inwards. As the C's said:

Q: (L) Can anybody think of another question to get me where I want to go here? (shellycheval) As individuals, what's the single most important thing we should do to Do, and to not try, but to actually take actions? What can we do to motivate ourselves as individuals? Is there something we can say or do...?

A: Service to others. Notice that the people with the most problems that always talk only about themselves and their troubles, are the ones who do and give the least. They do not have confidence in the universal law of LIFE: Get things moving and you create a vacuum in your life into which energy can flow.

Q: (L) So, basically what you're saying is that people should think of it as a kind of a law that when you... maybe like the old biblical expression: "Cast your bread on the waters, and after many days, it will return to you" sort of thing? Just do it, and keep doing it without anticipation?

A: Absolutely! And it is true and works. Just notice people who do and give a lot: Are they spending time focused on the self? No!

Q: (L) Yeah, but everybody's got wounds and issues and all that kind of thing to work on. I mean...

A: [letters come very quickly] Balance! A portion of a day can be spent on reflection, but not too much. This is the Wetiko Virus: obsession with the self and subjective personal issues. The next time you feel yourself slipping into despair, just tell others how you are feeling and think of something you can do for another to prevent them from suffering the same feelings. [letters come more slowly now:] Thus you will witness the birth of true empathy.

2. My feelings are easily hurt by teasing or criticism from other people.

It got way better over the years by observing it in my body and just trying to fight the body response while not expressing those negative feelings. It's still an issue though. Also, we can learn a lot from these situations - both about ourselves and others. If we go in 'hurt mode', we are just miserable and learn nothing. Plus, we make life miserable for others too.

3. I feel emotionally or temperamentally different from most people.

Not good at all. After all, if we feel 'special' - be it in a positive or negative way -, how can we show empathy? Then, 'those others' have nothing to do with us. We live in a bubble. Well, I guess I did feel different in the past, but my reaction was more a try to desperately 'fit in', which was very unhealthy as well. I think this feeling of being different still happens to me, but oftentimes I can sort of cure it, for example in social situations, by trying to see myself as just another human being, like everyone else who is present - then, I can better see the goodness, the gentleness, empathy and insights that others show and from which I can learn, but also the cruelty, feeding and stupidity. I think from that position, we can learn a lot more and most importantly empathize with those we are interacting with.

4. When I enter a room, I become self-conscious, and feel as if everyone is looking at me.

Used to be a lot like this, and it still happens. I think it's insecurity mostly, but changing words doesn't make it any better - again, we are focused on ourselves and unable to see the other, so it's important to learn to feel safe in such situations while still being aware of possible dangers I think. Not an easy one for me, but it got better. Psychological knowledge helps I think, because then we can better observe what's going on with the others, plus we realize that people are mostly so taken by their own stuff that they actually don't spend a lot of time thinking bad things about us :)

5. I don’t like sharing credit with other people.

I used to be like this a little bit, but not much I think. Now I don't care anymore, really. Yes, sometimes there is a little emotional 'pinch' in situations where others take exclusive credit for stuff that I did (which is a feature of my job), but mostly I can easily recognize it for what it is - pure Ego. Of course, there can be situations where it's really important to take credit (for legal or financial reasons for example), but that's not what is meant here I guess.

 

[HiThere]

28/50
You’re kind of a covert narcissist.

Can't argue with that - yet.

 

[Z...]

2. My feelings are easily hurt by teasing or criticism from other people.

Again, why is it narcissistic to be hurt when teased by other people? Sure, people who are narcissistic can be extremely sensitive to criticism, to a point where it's a character fault, but others are hurt because the criticism is unfair. This test doesn't determine between contexts.

I agree. There are full blown narcissists/psychopaths who really dont care in slightest what anyone thinks about them. I think I have met a few in my life time - complete lack of any emotion or preturbness ( not sure if this is really a proper English word) always has preternatural feel about it. Some narcissists take even slightest criticisms as vicious personal attack which they immediately reject and then most of "normal" people tend to be very sensitive to criticism but they will always take it into consideration to certain extent.

4. When I enter a room, I become self-conscious, and feel as if everyone is looking at me.

We've discussed the 'spotlight effect' here on the forum. I don't know if it relates to narcissism or not. It's a very common feeling for people to feel that way, but once you're aware that what you're feeling is not objective, you an alter your behavior and self-consciousness. So I'm not sure if this is as good an indicator of narcissism than if the question were, "When I enter a room, I know everyone is looking at me and I like it".

Yes, I would imagine people who suffer from "spotlight effect" are more insecure and self conscious then narcissistic.

9. I don’t like being with a group unless I know for sure that I’m appreciated by at least one of those present.

I'd say answering yes to this would be an indication of narcissism.

I disagree with this one. Again I would imagine it to be an indication of insecurity rather then narcissism.