Alcohol

[kenlee]

but the thing that bugs me and is on my mind, is that after reading that session it kinda made me scared to even drink a tiny bit of alcohol, even if it's once every month or every 3 weeks.

The other day I was very tired. It was towards the end of the workday at my job and I couldn’t seem to focus on what I was doing, my mind was wandering too much and there was a lot of nervous energy flowing through me. I simply could not center myself. I was very aware of my chaotic inner state but no matter what I did such as self remembering, meditating, deep breathing, taking a break and walking around outside, etc., I simply could not concentrate and focus. It was like I was trapped inside a particular inner psychological state and this psychological state was like a box and I was trying to escape the box by running to all four corners of the box but I could not escape the box itself. All I could do was simply witness this chaotic psychological state, taste it, and observe it and feel its effects but I was simply helpless to shift it into an inner state of greater lucidity and concentration.

It continued as I drove home. When I got home I decided to take a very small shot of brandy and then suddenly my inner state changed DRASTICALLY to one of calmness, lucidity, clear thinking, and being more able to “self remember” and be “present to myself”. In other words the small shot of brandy paradoxically “sobered me up” even though I was fully sober before taking the brandy.

I’m sure that my earlier efforts throughout the day to center myself was the major factor in shifting this “change of state” that I experienced after taking the brandy but it seemed to me that in this particular instance the brandy was a catalyst for this shift. This does not mean that every time I take a sip of brandy my inner state shifts in the positive way I just described, but in this particular case it worked like magic for me. So I think it’s a matter of timing and if the alcohol is taken at the right time then only a very little is required to maximize the beneficial effects. This doesn’t mean it applies to everyone but for me the small amount of alcohol, taken at that particular time, worked wonders in bringing my mind into clear focus. The effects lasted the entire evening and into the next morning. So timing and just the right amount taken at just the right time might be helpful for some people.

 

[Mr. Premise]

I scored non-alcoholic chemistry. Whew!

 

[Mrs.Tigersoap]

Alcohol is very tainted for me, as my mother is an alcoholic. She was abstinent for 3 years (she was hospitalized because of a hemorrage due to her consumption) but resumed drinking recently. It saddens me a lot, even if i'm working at no longer feel responsible for her. I've been my mother's mum for a long time. That's the kind of relationship you develop with a toxic parent, apparently.

I tested non-alcholic chemistry (normal drinker) so I guess I've been lucky. It's bizarre because I had my first drink when I was 12 and had regularly binges and passed out several times between that age and 20. Then I got scared of becoming like my mother and stopped altogether. Now if I take a sip of cider, my whole body tingles for hours and I can't sleep at night. And I'm not joking! Coffee actually has the same effect on me.

In my country (Belgium), anybody used to be able to buy alcohol, no matter how old they are (my mother used to send me buy her beer when I was 10). It is estimated that about 10 % of the population in my country has a problem with alcohol, and that only takes into account people who have seeked medical help. So it should be much more (lots of people are in denial regarding their consumption or their problem).
Alcohol basically destroyed my mother's life (and for a long time, mine as well), her good looks, her liver. Her mother died from alcoholism, so did her grandparents.

I know people are different and a little drink now and then never hurt anyone. But lots of people, even those who are not alcoholic, use it for escapism ("it relaxes me", "I only drink socially to feel less stressed out" "It makes my problems go away for a while"). Why don't people try and do something about their stress, about their life rather than relying on external stimulants? That makes me uncomfortable. When you're too busy escaping, you don't see what's going on in the world, around you. I know people who function perfectly without but wouldn't dream of weekly partying without it "because it would be so boring". They are not alcoholic but alcohol is a big part of their life. To me, that's the beginning of problems already..

Anyway, my two cents..

 

[NormaRegula]

...I tested non-alcholic chemistry (normal drinker) so I guess I've been lucky. It's bizarre because I had my first drink when I was 12 and had regularly binges and passed out several times between that age and 20. Then I got scared of becoming like my mother and stopped altogether...

The end of your quote above sounds familiar. I drank heavily in my youth, then stopped because I, too, was fearful of 'becoming my mother.' Having spent most of this past summer and now fall reading Trapped in the Mirror, Unholy Hungers, and other QFG recommended psychological books, there is much more to my fear than having an occasional glass of wine at gatherings.

According to the test, I have Nonalcoholic (Alcohol-Intolerant) Chemistry. My parents were both narcissitic and alcoholic, involved in the entertainment industry - a work place condusive to heavy social drinking and substance abuse. My late Native American father eventually quit on his own, becoming a dry drunk, while my mother continues to this day. (My siblings and I think she survives, despite having liver and health problems, on sheer will power to make herself and others miserable.) Tried an Intervention with her years ago...which was a disaster, probably because we were all so messed up ourselves and our mother, armed with intimate knowledge of her children, turned it against us. (Of course, we believed in our shortcomings and acquiescenced to her power over us.)

A few times a year, my fear of alcohol (ie: becoming my mother) abates and I partake of a glass of good wine, immediately becoming light-headed after just a few ounces. Then a horrible guilt kicks in. I'm sure this is a program that needs to be looked at more thoroughly and overidden. Looked into Al-Anon (an AA help organization for dependants/relatives of alchoholics) once and found myself wanting to rush out because something about the program's methodology was cult-like.

With alcoholism running in my family, a daily drink probably won't improve my overall health...plus, I'm in need of all the brain cells I can muster to figure things out and discover the truth.

 

[Qbone]

Very imformative posts and article, thank you all for your honesty.

 

[Saman]

but the thing that bugs me and is on my mind, is that after reading that session it kinda made me scared to even drink a tiny bit of alcohol, even if it's once every month or every 3 weeks.

It continued as I drove home. When I got home I decided to take a very small shot of brandy and then suddenly my inner state changed DRASTICALLY to one of calmness, lucidity, clear thinking, and being more able to “self remember” and be “present to myself”. In other words the small shot of brandy paradoxically “sobered me up” even though I was fully sober before taking the brandy.

Just a quick thought. What Ken has described through his experience reminded me of what the C's have also said about taking a shot of Whiskey, yes, yes, something that has ALCOHOL Adam :) So taking a bit of brandy for Ken might have worked like taking a bit of Whiskey for Ark and others who've tried this suggestion the C's are talking about in the following. Here is the context of the situation on why the C's suggested this to Ark:

May 31, 1997 F****, Laura, AK.
[...]
Q: So, what are they doing over there in that building that is affecting him?
A: Better question: What are "they" doing on 4th density that is affecting him?
Q: Since that is a better question, what ARE they doing on 4th density that is affecting Ark?
A: Guess.
Q: Is he being abducted from this building?
A: No.
Q: Are they STS or STO?
A: STS.
Q: Are they zapping him with some kind of frequency modulation?
A: Close.
Q: Why is it more effective in that building than in the basement or at his hotel?
A: Because of Max.
Q: Okay, they are using whatever is going on in that building to zap Ark. Anything else they are doing there?
A: Yes.
Q: Could you tell me what?
A: No.
Q: Is there anything else they are doing to Ark?
A: Yes.
Q: Can you tell me?
A: Body chemistry alteration.
Q: In what sense is there body chemistry alteration going on?
A: Brain wave factors.
Q: Is there something he can do for protection?
A: He soon will leave the area.
Q: Well, during the time he is there, how much damage can they do?
A: Probably not much.
Q: Is there any other step he can take other than going to the library or staying in his hotel?
A: Good idea!
Q: Anything else?
A: One shot of whiskey per day will help.
Q: Well, that is a bizarre thing to say! A shot of whiskey?! That will help his brain chemistry?
A: Some.
Q: What is this altering of his brain chemistry designed to do?
A: Befuddle.
Q: Well, I think it is working. Any other suggestion? Come on, we are you in the past! Help us out here!
A: Then you will know in the "future."
[...]

So on another occasion they said that taking "one shot of whiskey per day" should be done "slow and easy". So there is something to this Alcohol thing. The C's said that "in some cases a shift in chemistry also means a shift in susceptibility, but not a cessation of the activity" in regards to being monitored. Hmm, I remember a guy who once walked into the bar in the restaurant I work at one night and asked me for a shot Jack Daniels. I looked back I and couldn't find it for some odd reason when it was right in front of me! He pointed it out to me and then I saw it. Gave him the shot and he paid and quickly disappeared from the restaurant like in a flash. I felt odd about this, something was strange, and the way he was looking at me, with an almost scrutinizing smirk it seemed, kind of spooked me a little. Another time a different guy walked in and asked for a double Whiskey straight up. I asked him if he was driving cause he looked a bit iffy in terms of drinking, though I was not sure cause he might have been just tired. I looked him straight in his blue eyes when he said no, and felt that he wasn't lying and he did also have a backpack and he had said that he was taking the bus. He said to me oddly after getting his drink that "you have a good heart" while looking at me in the eyes for a few seconds or so, and then, like the last guy disappeared out the door very quickly! Well, these were two odd and memorable instances I had in relation with Whiskey and some odd people who asked me for it.

 

[Bo]

very informative posts!! thanks a lot.

Laura:
That session was about a very specific situation that doesn't really relate to ordinary alcohol consumption.

thanks for clearing that up!

Kenlee: It continued as I drove home. When I got home I decided to take a very small shot of brandy and then suddenly my inner state changed DRASTICALLY to one of calmness, lucidity, clear thinking, and being more able to “self remember” and be “present to myself”. In other words the small shot of brandy paradoxically “sobered me up” even though I was fully sober before taking the brandy.

as you said, it is indeed different for every person and it depends on the type of situation, maybe one should experiment a little bit, like this month you take 1 shot of whiskey, the next month you take one shot of something else with alcohol, to check which fits you, or doesn't fit you at all.

Saman: just a quick thought. What Ken has described through his experience reminded me of what the C's have also said about taking a shot of Whiskey, yes, yes, something that has ALCOHOL Adam smile So taking a bit of brandy for Ken might have worked like taking a bit of Whiskey for Ark and others who've tried this suggestion the C's are talking about in the following. Here is the context of the situation on why the C's suggested this to Ark:

Yeah, my conclusion is now as long as you use alcohol with moderation, and be careful with it, there is no danger and it might even been beneficial in some situations or so.

thanks a lot for all the informative posts! it has cleared many things up :)

 

[Mr. Premise]

Here's an interesting thing to add to this. When I was in my 20s I would have scored much different, probably II ADH/THIQ Alcoholic chemistry.

What changed? When I was around 30 I smoked cigars, then cigarettes for a couple of years. Nicotine didn't really agree with me so I quit, but what nicotine did was change my brain chemistry so that I didn't crave alcohol at all any more. It was really a relief. I think it must have altered the dopamine pathways or something. That was twenty years ago.

Another positive effect of nicotine, and I didn't need to keep taking it either.

I scored non-alcoholic chemistry. Whew!

 

[the_hammer]

About ten years ago, when I was still in my teens, i would have scored II ADH/THIQ Alcoholic chemistry too, since i really like the taste of alcohol and have done from the time of my first zip and never have suffered from a hangover, but these days I either vomit or get sleepy from drinking one beer. My love for the taste and my bodys reaction scared me, so ever since high scool I have rarely had more than 2 beers every month. So I don't know wether my body's chemistry has changed or wether it is simly down to choise.

 

[NormaRegula]

Here's an interesting thing to add to this. When I was in my 20s I would have scored much different, probably II ADH/THIQ Alcoholic chemistry.

What changed? When I was around 30 I smoked cigars, then cigarettes for a couple of years. Nicotine didn't really agree with me so I quit, but what nicotine did was change my brain chemistry so that I didn't crave alcohol at all any more. It was really a relief. I think it must have altered the dopamine pathways or something. That was twenty years ago.

That's very interesting. There are two persons I know that claimed the same thing...although one believes it was an exchange of addictions. He still smokes cigars now and then; while the other person has quit smoking altogether. Both no longer drink heavily...just an occasional glass of wine or beer.

 

[Iconoclast]

i used to love beer, though i never abused it (except during the 'wild days' as a youth). the physical effects the next day just aren't worth the 'high' IMHO.

one day, several years ago, i ordered a pint in my favorite pub, just like i always did.
i took a sip and it tasted funny - like the beer had gone bad or the barrel had been stored improperly.
over the next few days i found out that all beer, no matter where i ordered it, just tasted 'bad' all of a sudden. it was like a switch had been thrown in my brain. i stopped drinking alcohol altogether almost overnight.
i don't miss it at all.
interestingly, several months before this 'throwing of the switch' i had discovered pot, which started a long love-affair with the stuff. i suspect that it changed my brain chemistry so alcohol ceased to be a 'recreational option'.

 

[pneumaticmatt]

I started smoking cigarettes when I was 12. Around the age of 20 I quit cold turkey. When I first quit I would have dreams about smoking that were so real I would be questioning family and friends asking them if they saw me smoking. I would look for evidence, not finding it and convince myself it was not true.

Anyhow, one thing that I gained from quiting was an ability to wake myself whenever I needed. To this day I only use an alarm (as a precaution) when I have to take a flight or some other really important appointment. Nevertheless I ALWAYS wake before the alarm even if I have been up very late and or partaking of libations.

 

[Darren]

I used to drink frequently with my friends when I was younger, as some form of escapism from the 9 to 5 drudgery of life I think. I very rarely drink now, and don't miss it at all. No desire to 'escape' when you're trying to see objectively.. I still like the taste of beer, but that may just be self-conditioning over the years; I don't remember liking it very much when I first tried it.

 

[Paragon]

This may or may not be of any interest or importance, but I thought I'd share it..

I notice that the next day after drinking rather heavily, I become 'detached' from my defensive nature, and I somehow see things more objectively, being able to not let my fear control me. I don't 'react' like a machine to situations that normally would provoke a negative response, rather I'm more focused on the reason the other person acted in a certain way, than my own internal predator. Though as the hangover subsides over the course of the day, the predator comes back full force, and I loose this 'objectivity' and become very self conscious.

I'm not suggesting that it's a good thing to consume alcohol just to experience this, as it's just cheating oneself. I am aiming to cut down on this drinking every weekend thing, as the whole week after it I just want to dissociate and for the weekend to come again. Not good and my real 'I' knows it, though it is not strong enough to intervene yet.

I have also noticed that I have become a lot more mechanical this year due to this binge drinking, and a general feeling of being 'dumbed' down by it, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually.

Just how much does consuming alcohol set one back in the work? I think I know the answer but I'm worried that I've set myself back irreversibly.

 

[Approaching Infinity]

I notice that the next day after drinking rather heavily, I become 'detached' from my defensive nature, and I somehow see things more objectively, being able to not let my fear control me. I don't 'react' like a machine to situations that normally would provoke a negative response, rather I'm more focused on the reason the other person acted in a certain way, than my own internal predator. Though as the hangover subsides over the course of the day, the predator comes back full force, and I loose this 'objectivity' and become very self conscious.

I wouldn't call it objectivity. I'd call it buffers.

I'm not suggesting that it's a good thing to consume alcohol just to experience this, as it's just cheating oneself. I am aiming to cut down on this drinking every weekend thing, as the whole week after it I just want to dissociate and for the weekend to come again. Not good and my real 'I' knows it, though it is not strong enough to intervene yet.

I have also noticed that I have become a lot more mechanical this year due to this binge drinking, and a general feeling of being 'dumbed' down by it, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually.

Just how much does consuming alcohol set one back in the work? I think I know the answer but I'm worried that I've set myself back irreversibly.

I think you've identified some of the effects above, but what you're missing is the physical harm you're doing to your body. There are plenty of articles on the forum and sott about drinking. I'd recommend a search to get up to speed on that. Candida is just one problem - they love alcohol. Besides the drinking, how's your diet, Paragon? Have you been keeping up with the recent threads on "Life without bread", "The Vegetarian Myth", and others?