3D Student said:
But when I think about it, I may be more of an inner drama queen. I have OCD and I create dramas in my head, often fabrications of my mind or focusing too much on small things. And I know it affects others at times. So in that way I'm a drama queen. The test was short, but at least it provoked some inner thought.
Yes. Depending on how broad the definition is, and how big the range of different types of essence (substratum) and wounding you take into account, how chronic the problem is, how intentional this is, etc., there is probably a whole range of "drama queenness".
But no matter the "degree of drama queenness" we each have, whether it manifests more internally or externally, part of the problem could be:
a)
Distorted emotions: from a habit of energy usurpation, programming, etc.
b)
Underdeveloped intellectual center: Not meaning that the person is "dumb"/stupid, but that they aren't pushing their intellect to the max. Some are perfectly capable in some situations, and then, as soon as emotions go crazy, they always let them take over their thinking.
c)
Underdeveloped motor center: Not exercising enough, not training body coordination, not "liking" to get physically exhausted once in a while, or sometimes not using the motor center properly for their profile.
Trying to sort out a) alone is very difficult, because drama queens aren't always (if ever) able to tell which emotions are real, which drama is real, etc. Emotions play very important roles (like warning us of a real danger, as opposed to useless drama, and really caring about others, as opposed to wanting something in return, etc.). But without being able to discern them, it's very tricky.
So, why not work more indirectly, "starving the emotions" for a while, while making super-efforts regarding b) and c)? That would mean using the intellect in as many ways as possible, challenging oneself, learning to really focus, to not get distracted by internal drama or by external stimuli all the time, focusing more on learning, on the challenge, than on what "others are going to think". Real focus can silence the inner drama. It would also be like training a muscle. Critical and logical thinking. If you get used to it in as many situations as you can, then that skill is more available during emotional times as well. No matter what you are doing, you can practice focusing and being present.
Working on c) simultaneously via a exercising, practicing being aware of the body, etc. can also help reduce the inner dialogue, and feed the emotional part a bit less. Plus, it is an exercise in will power when you know you can do it, regularly, even when "it" doesn't want to.
Then, in order to use what you are learning intellectually in more emotional situations, if you know you are a "drama queen" until proven differently, it might be good to focus on shutting out ALL drama you can catch. And before making decisions in a stressful situation, get feedback just stating the facts, in case you make another one of those decisions that end up in drama even though you thought you were being practical (yeah, right!).
Yet another exercise, based on the possibility of a "weak ego" from lack of nurturing and also the willingness to take responsibility and change, would be to imagine yourself as being a person who has a healthier ego, who doesn't get so upset at the slightest reaction from others, who knows he/she can fail but get back up, be critical, responsible, strong. Whatever you are working with, imagine how being the best person you can be, would be like. Imagine what real giving to others without any personal agenda would be like (and it's amazing how much we can lie to ourselves in that respect until we see how selfish/needy we can be, even when we think we are "helping"!). Think of people you admire in that sense. Practice acting differently even (and especially) when you feel (under narratives) that you NEED to get attention, to behave like you always do, etc. Always ask WHO is this going to help? And if you notice any personal agenda such as seeking validation, reinforcing an illusion about yourself, or simply feeding the drama, then stop. And whenever the inner drama starts, remind yourself of that ideal.
Starving the emotions would also mean not giving into inner drama such as "I'll never make it", "it's all black", etc. Guilt is important for change, but also, we have to remember that we can change if we really want to. So it's our responsibility. Then, instead of "drama", there is "a lot of work to do" and no minute to lose immersed in that drama.
Anyway, just some ideas. In any case, I think it's useful to work on b) and c) no matter what. It's an investment. Then, hopefully the emotions can be more balanced, and not having extra energy to waste, one may be able to start discerning, and really change those annoying and hurtful traits. An experiment! I guess it all comes down to, once again, super-efforts! But practical ones, not "dramatic" ones. ;)
