Asking For Advice Or Words Of Solace Please...

[mada85]

Now I'm encountdring a new problem: I've lost my drive to learn...or do anything, for that matter.

So maybe it's time for a rest. I also have experienced this state on a cyclical basis, without any fixed timescale. I think it's important when in these states, not to give yourself a hard time, but just to observe yourself in a relaxed way. If sometimes you miss something, so what? As we are, we are machines, and everything that happens will happen again – the same reactions, the same thought process, and so on.

This state seems to come about after a period of intense work on the self, a deep shock, or a long period spent gathering knowledge and opening to new ideas. It's almost like the darkness of the soil, into which the tree puts down roots (a bit of a fanciful analogy, but you get idea – I hope!).

And, considering the recent events in your life that you have described, you certainly deserve a rest and a bit of tlc for yourself

I am stuck, & feel helpless even tho I know I am not.

This, imho, is one of the effects of being in this state. The state itself is not a problem. It is our conditioned ideas of what we should be doing that create the problem.

When I am in this state, it is usually accompanied by melancholy, sometimes very deep. I put on some slow, melancholy music – The Pearl, by Brian Eno and Harold Budd is really effective – and consciously go into the state and 'look around', observe it in my mind, my emotions and my body.

Also I feel redundant in putting these "poor me" posts up here. I don't know why I do, because no one has the magic answer.

Ominous, since you started posting on this forum, I have always enjoyed reading your posts. They have the flavour of something spoken from a place of honesty. And your journey of waking up, as shown by your posts, is a valuable lesson for many people. And, because of that, a few posts asking for advice and help in a difficult time is not a problem in any way, and definitely not redundant

Usually, people get over this state. However sometimes when one's loss is too big, one stays stuck in apathy, that's why it's very important to explore this "loss" and discuss it with a therapist or a group.

Joda has a very good point here. Also, the Bach Flower remedies as mentioned earlier in this thread, can be very useful when negative emotional states have become chronic. They can be used to give your energy a little push, to get things moving again, to see a little light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[GRiM]

Ominous I had my depression 2001/2002 I don't remember the exact date. I was at my lowest and saddest state in my life. However, after some time, about a week It subsided and I felt a inner calm and acceptance, the world is what it is even if we don't like it, there is no point in shutting out it. I think you will come out stronger then ever on the 'other side' of it.

edit: I just continued with extra effort to read and absorb information to get a even clearer picture of the world, it might be a good way to keep the feelings in check.

A friend of mine told me (before I had my depression) that he at some point in his life, after studying the extra-terrestrial/secret government had a breakdown / panic and stopped altogether studying it, he just shut it out, denied it. Now as I have more knowledge and feel very motivated to talk to someone who also have a clue as to the state of the world/universe, he no longer wants to talk about it. I guess it was to much for him on some level.

Hope this make sense for you.

 

[Ominous]

At times of depression, in the past, would usually result in violence, drugs, then perhaps a strict internal turning towards the religion I was born into, Catholacism (sp?). But now, I know NONE of those things work. There IS no benevolent father with whom I can lay my troubles. This is why Narcotics Anonymous never worked for me: I couldn't turn my problem over to a higher power because deep down I knew that I was the only entity that could save me. One more bit of info from my situation: she cheated on me with another GIRL(S). Cheating is what it is in my eyes, but somehow it doesn't hurt as MUCH. She says she doesn't know what she wants right now, & I've accepted it. I love her, & realize she doesn't belong to me. We shall see what happens, I suppose. I don't want to shatter my kids' world just yet if there is hope. Perhaps I'm being foolish, but this is where I stand. I'm ok with it, & we shall see how it turns out. Thanks again, everyone who posted.

 

[Laura]

How about this: try physical exercise to change your chemical state just a bit. When I get so far into the pits, that's what I always do and it always works. I even trick myself a bit: I tell myself I'll just get on the treadmill for five minutes. Once five minutes is gone, I just keep adding five more minutes until I feel a bit better. Yeah, you have to do it every day, but it DOES work.

 

[Meg]

At times of depression, in the past, would usually result in violence, drugs, then perhaps a strict internal turning towards the religion I was born into, Catholacism (sp?). But now, I know NONE of those things work. There IS no benevolent father with whom I can lay my troubles. This is why Narcotics Anonymous (NA)never worked for me: I couldn't turn my problem over to a higher power because deep down I knew that I was the only entity that could save me.

I am not familiar with the basic text of NA, but I am familiar with the basic text of AA, where NA derived it’s 12-step program. I agree with you about the benevolent father and turn your problems over to HIM. In my experience, my troubles are of my own making. I am maladjusted to life, in full flight from reality, an outright mental defective. _http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_doctoropinion.cfm

My problem is me and my perception. Period.

I am doing some research on AA history and I believe there is just as much Fundamentalism and New Age navel gazing infiltration by people in 12 step programs as well as cosmically (maybe). My understanding of the original 12 step program, AA, is that alcoholics are self centered in the extreme and we use the steps see how self centered we are and more importantly, to change our perception of ourselves first and then use those experiences to help others, especially other members of our respective groups to achieve same. FWIW

I did find something interesting about Bill W that I am digging into further:

For Wilson, spiritualism (communicating with the spirits of the dead) was a life-long interest. One of his letters to his spiritual adviser Father Ed Dowling suggests that while Wilson was working on his book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions he felt that spirits were helping him, in particular a 15th century monk named Boniface.[18] Wilson believed that the living could communicate with the dead and kept a "Spook Room" in his basement, where he along with others would conduct séances with a Ouija board, as well as experiment with automatic writing. Despite his conviction that he had evidence for the reality of the spirit world, Wilson chose not to share this with AA. However his practices still created controversy within the AA membership, with one member writing to C.S. Lewis for advice on the legitimacy of spiritualism. Wilson and his wife continued with their unusual practices in spite of the misgivings of many AA members and a letter from Lewis advising against spiritualism.