Bad Boys

[Mari]

In my experience, it was harder to See when the bad boy is feeding through a victim mentality, through softness and through what appear to be expressions of love. This is something to think about when we insist on treating each other a certain way - 'don't be critical, it's not loving' - which we've seen in a few threads recently.

The permanent clinger type mentioned, or the mental illness type, or someone who is looking for a parent - these bad boys can be very kind and caring, gentle, etc. - all the attributes normally associated with a loving person. This strategy is adopted in counterposition to the ruthless, exploitative world out there, and it can be quite alluring. Men who take this road seem to be very precious..

Yes, it is difficult to see, also those traits you listed are also common for women.
Feminine vampire or the waif or however one wants to call them. All nice, innocent and sweet - and yet deadly.
And since those traits usually come in combination (according to the books I´ve read), i.e. shopaholic + alcoholic, one can see the psychological and financial damage they can do. Or clinger + mental illness - one that has serious problems and yet "cries and begs and can´t live without you". Emotionally draining and sucking the life out of men.

I think that both women and men need to understand that they cannot change them. If that person wants change, they need therapy and professional help and support.

 

[Nienna]

I know I said I’d back off for a while but completing what’s in this thread is a prerequisite for me.

This is right on the money, IMO. The question arises, why? Or maybe better: What types of interactions have crowded out the 4th Way?

A few years ago I analyzed the busiest threads and their subject matter when I first started sensing what you point out, T.C. What became apparent was that geopolitics, health and the weather predominated to a huge degree (85-90% plus). COVID was a significant explanation for the spike.

Lately the health threads are much less prevalent and “hot” and, without actually running the numbers, the dominant themes are geopolitical/political and anticipation/predictions about the future and, naturally, the weather and health to a lesser degree. (The general sense I get) I have no judgement about this: it just is what it is. The discrepancy is thinking “I’m all about 4th way inner and outer development and observation” while mainly talking about Trump, the WEF, Ukraine, Gaza and what are the psychics and astrologers and “political analysts” predictions for humanity. I don’t mean to say that it is a mistake to talk about any of those things, only that they may be predominating and crowding out the esoterica which could have a perceptual effect of some kind.

As for the admins and mods, that probably isn’t an easy job and I’ve only ever had one real complaint/confusion about the handling of stuff and that was the benkostka deal where I actually think the mods were too lenient (and not the other way around). But otherwise, it’s a non issue for me. This forum certainly has the right to police itself however it sees fit! Of course!

Although this forum is based on 4th Way principles, it is not a Gurdjieff school. It is the Cassiopaea Forum; that's why we recommend that new people read The Wave series at least. What we have learned from the Cs is that we need to look at "objective reality right and left", to keep abreast of what is really happening in the world, to recognize the various pathologies of the human mind, among many other things; to learn the lessons that will help us grow. To network about what is happening around us. In doing so, there are many, many topics that come up. Just look at the Recommended Reading List for cryin' out loud. These are all things that we should be aware of.

So just concentrating on 4th Way subjects is, also, not what this forum is about. And I find it interesting @BHelmet that you posted this when you are one of the two parties that started this whole thing. Where is the 4th Way esoteric learnings in it all?

 

[Chu]

Although this forum is based on 4th Way principles, it is not a Gurdjieff school. It is the Cassiopaea Forum; that's why we recommend that new people read The Wave series at least. What we have learned from the Cs is that we need to look at "objective reality right and left", to keep abreast of what is really happening in the world, to recognize the various pathologies of the human mind, among many other things; to learn the lessons that will help us grow. To network about what is happening around us. In doing so, there are many, many topics that come up. Just look at the Recommended Reading List for cryin' out loud. These are all things that we should be aware of.

Indeed.

I was thinking about how a Newbies experience of the forum now might be different to the experience I had when I joined the forum. We both have access to the same information, and having read the Wave twice, the concept of a mirror shouldn't really be a new one. One difference could be that I feel like there used to be a lot more personal threads/feedback threads that I would organically come across when exploring the forum. I was reading feedback and mirrors all the time so maybe that helped me assimilate the concept. Do you think that newer members might benefit from being encouraged to read more mirror/feedback threads so they can see the process?

Yes. And to take time to familiarize themselves with the material. It is all in there for those who seek.

I’ve also wondered if there is less of this kind of thing now because so many of us went through it back then that we kind of ‘grooved’ the forum/network into a smoother and more objective and aware group/unit and there’s just less need to focus on it nowadays and a lot of elementary things we might have brought up in personal threads we can just figure out ourselves now.

Maybe. But I think we also need to take into account that things seem to be accelerating nowadays, which makes observing reality right and left, and knowledge input, VERY important. Therefore, more effort is required from the 4th Way students (both newbies and oldies). AND, we have learned that the same approach doesn't suit everyone. We need all sorts of topics and approaches. And we may not dedicate as much space and time to personal issues that we have found out are best resolved through life experiences and more information, but when someone asks sincerely, I think we always strive to be there and provide feedback.

Notice that the reason something had to be said in this thread was because there was an unhealthy dynamic forming, and people who clearly didn't understand what we are about, trying to teach and basically "scold" others. We do our best, with flaws and all, to keep the noise down.

 

[Jones]

In doing so, there are many, many topics that come up. Just look at the Recommended Reading List for cryin' out loud. These are all things that we should be aware of.

Also, some of the books mentioned in the recommended reading list also have discussion topics. One book mentioned in this thread, Women who love psychopaths has a helpful thread here:

Women Who Love Psychopaths

Women Who Love Psychopaths: Sandra L. Brown, MA and Dr. Liane Leedom, MD, authors in the field of psychopathy are writing a book on women who love psychopaths and are seeking women willing to anonymously tell their stories, answer a survey of questions about the relationship dynamics, and be...

cassiopaea.org

The search engine is your friend

 

[BHelmet]

Although this forum is based on 4th Way principles, it is not a Gurdjieff school. It is the Cassiopaea Forum; that's why we recommend that new people read The Wave series at least. What we have learned from the Cs is that we need to look at "objective reality right and left", to keep abreast of what is really happening in the world, to recognize the various pathologies of the human mind, among many other things; to learn the lessons that will help us grow. To network about what is happening around us. In doing so, there are many, many topics that come up. Just look at the Recommended Reading List for cryin' out loud. These are all things that we should be aware of.

So just concentrating on 4th Way subjects is, also, not what this forum is about. And I find it interesting @BHelmet that you posted this when you are one of the two parties that started this whole thing. Where is the 4th Way esoteric learnings in it all?

TC framed it that way so I went with that. Everyone makes errors. The esoteric is also about how quick you can see those errors and make course corrections.