Best Jokes

[naorma]

Sugar cube model kit 7536 parts

 

[showmustgoon]

In my language lizard is written as follows

kertenkele

and if I divide it by the last 4 letters and add 3 more letters in front of it, it means butterfly

kelebek

In my language, lizard and butterfly are used together. because it seems fun to people

kertenkelebek

Sometimes I think the universe is playing a joke on us. A cosmic joker. Like some kind of joke is going to come out in the end. Like someone is going to come out and call the lizard the kgb code name of the British.

Then I say cs mom wouldn't do this to us, would she?

 

[showmustgoon]

June 9, 1996 ; Frank, Laura

Q: (L) What quality in us, what thing, enabled us to make contact. Because, obviously a lot of people try and get garbage.
A: You asked.

Q: (L) A lot of people ask!
A: No they don't, they command.

Q: (L) Well, a lot of people do ask or beg or plead, but they get all discombobulated with the answers.
A: No, they command. Think about it. You did not beg or plead... that is commanding.


End of Session

Let's turn it around and substitute it into a mathematical equation.

beg or plead = that is commanding

commanding = beg or plead

 

[Vulcan59]

 

[Mark]

Listening to the radio today and heard a commercial for a car dealership, after hearing it I realized that apparently at some car dealerships in the USA they no longer have car salesmen, now they're called Car Relationship Counselors. That's the phrase used in the commercial. When I heard that I thought it was joke but it's real.

 

[Ben]

 

[pinkfreud]

Spotted on X as a reply to someone imploring millennials and GenX to start saving the world already.

These sorts of memes don’t generally make me laugh anymore (they hit a bit too close to home, I suppose.) But seeing Mr, Clean’s earring got me.

 

[SlipNet]

Spotted on X as a reply to someone imploring millennials and GenX to start saving the world already.

All eyes on Israel when comets are discussed. Most of the east hates them, and the masses in the west are waking up too. The DCM sees all that transpires on the global stage. The next 12 months promise to be very interesting, and we can never not consider false flag events to continue to pummel the western mass mind. Since 1947 the world has been under the grip of a neo-Nazi global regime. And that includes Zionism too. It's utterly sickening when you see it deeply. At some point in the Quorum, you see a blending of 4d STS and STO. They share the same realm, but have diametrically opposed world views. The US/UK/Israel are at the fulcrum of the STS dynamic on 3d STS earth. And of course we also see a post-cataclysm breakaway faction, as noted by Richard Dolan back in 2014. Why are elevator production companies making such good money these days? Underground bases. We must continue to survive and thrive as a viable alternative to the beast system, OSIT. Their way cannot be allowed to be the prevailing way in our world.

 

[SlipNet]

Sorry for diverting the thread away from mirth with my fairly serious musings, please return to the gags forthwith! Normal service will be shortly restored.

 

[Sylvia]

Our joke of the week, in our little corner of the world, Quebec. For the past 5 weeks, we've had rain only on weekends, so we've had a brilliant weather presenter on TV who claims and gives an answer about the cause of the rain every weekend. Well! I've learned that we're to blame. Because we use our cars during the week to go to work, so we pollute our environment and it rains. As if to punish us.

Here's the video extract. It's in French, but you can translate it into English with the CC tools:

Spoiler: French - Ma langue maternelle

Notre farce de la semaine, dans notre p'tit coin de pays, au Québec. Depuis, 5 semaines, nous avons toujours de la pluie seulement les weekends, alors, nous avons une brillante présentatrice météorologique à la télévision qui affirme et donne une réponse sur la cause de la pluie à chaque weekend. Eh bien! J'ai appris que la faute c'était nous. À cause que nous utilisons nos voitures dans la semaine pour aller travailler, donc, nous polluons notre environnement et il pleut. Comme pour nous punir.

Voici l'extrait de la vidéo. C'est en français mais vous pouvez la traduire en anglais avec les outils CC:

 

[Vulcan59]

 

[Puma]

​

 

[Fluffy]

 

[HumoCrat]

The Bulls on Parade; you see, they castrated themselves and so are oxen now. Proudfully preposterous, courageously confused.

 

[Arwenn]

Hi @HumoCrat and to the forum!

We ask all new members to post an introduction over in the Newbies section- nothing too personal, just a bit about yourself and how you found the forum.