esoquest said:
As for the "scratch" test, just writing as you do is a scratch for most psychotics. That is one level. Other psychotics or latent psychotics of both leader and follower varieties can, however, fly under the initial radar by performing their own "corrections" upon the information. However, maintaining a facade (even if they convince themselves that they believe it) is highly stressful for even the most covert psychotics when their needs are not consistently met. Eventually, they will crack. Understanding this dynamic is very important for damage control among other things.
This is oh, so true. Among the earliest experiences we had with our discussion groups was just this problem. I think it happened a dozen times or more in the past five years. And in nearly every case, once the individual was exposed, pretty much following the same dynamic as Durand (even to falling into a greater or lesser degree of verbal confusion), we would send them on their way with our blessings that they should make their own lives, their own websites, and promote their own ideas as they saw fit and leave us to ours. And, in nearly every case, no sooner had we had this bifurcation of ways, they went on the attack. It was the damndest thing I ever saw. We didn't attack them, we simple expressed the desire to be allowed to think our own thoughts, live according to our own lights, and congregate with others who were likeminded. That was IT! No big secret cult, no frauds, nothing but a wish to not have to include such as Durand in our discussions where endless time and energy was wasted just trying to deal with everyone of their twists and turns.
The thing that bugged us the most about this was our observation of such individuals after they had left our group. I never in my life witnessed such outright lies, distortions, twisted facts, declared with such absolute certainty that it literally disoriented us.
That was why we began to study the phenomenon.
Next you write:
It seems to me, a normal person sends out an energy signature the psychotic can recognize. I have seen this recognition many times where psychotics label others as placed on either side of the "with us or against us" line. This has nothing to do with disagreements or differences in opinion and ideology. It goes far deeper. In my view, healthy people need to learn to turn the tables on the psychotics, and part of immunity (again according to my own observations) is the conscious building of an energy signature that does not compute for the psychotic.
I cannot really find all the concepts to properly convey this, as I am still exploring it, but it has to do with maintaining unshakeable integrity, and a kind of energetic symmetric of centered but healthy conviction. The psychotic field seeks to influence through holes in personal integrity, which is why they love to use divide and conquer tactics, the promotion of guilt, doubt and fear. I understand Carlos Castaneda addresses the issue of dealing with petty tyrants among other things, but I also believe that for a normal person to be vulnerable to psychotic attack that person must have endured an already advanced undermining of the personal energy field through varied degrees of trauma and psychological stress imposed by more minor dealings with psychosis in family and society. (This basically includes everyone).
It is similar to what the elite is doing to human bodies through vaccinations, food toxins, chemtrails and other methods. Notice that they do not move unless they have at first weakened and undermined their intended victims, like a spider needing to sting its prey into paralysis before it begins consuming it.
This idea is something that has exercised me to no end. As recently as a week ago the issue came up again due to an experience I had that made it clear to me that I am NOT as immune as I would like to think I am. What is funny is that it seems Lobaczewski "sensed" something was wrong and wrote an email to me saying "I am uneasy, is something wrong?" I wrote him back last night a long description of the incident.
The short version is that I decided to deliberately expose myself to psychopathy, up close and personal. It was like a personal "test." Even though it seemed like, on the surface, that I was unaffected, within a day or so of this exposure, I noticed that my mind kept going back to the schizoidal psychopathic declarations.
Now, keep in mind that, in this case I am talking about, it is not someone who falls into schizoidal jabberwocky under pressure that can be easily discarded. No indeed, this individual is smooth, calm, uses lots of language that promotes himself as a great teacher, teacher of love and light, and so on. What is different is his plain, simple, and ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN declarations that are LIES. And I mean that I KNOW they are lies. I also know that HE knows they are lies. In other words, I know he is lying CONSCIOUSLY, and he does it with such sincerity, with such compelling certainty that it is staggering! And the lies are all about ME. One of the most bizarre of these lies is that I plagiarized my own autobiography!!!! I mean, that just FLOORS me!
So, to observe him operate, to observe him work on an innocent party, an individual who might even be thought reasonably critical, was quite amazing. Not a single one of the people under the spell of this psychopath has ever thought that it might be useful to ask my family or friends (many of whom read said volume before it was published for fact checking purposes) whether or not my autobiography is plagiarized or not. Or to ask me personally about anything. He makes a big issue about demanding that I answer a whole list of questions in public that cannot be answered in public because the answers include extremely personal information about private people that I have no intention of making public for their safety as well as my own.
But I KNOW all that. I know how spellbinders work, and how they always travel with a "Greek Chorus" even if they often create the image on the internet that there are more people following them than really are by playing different parts on message boards and "talking to themselves" half the time. It still works on gullible people. It's almost comical to observe because the writing styles give them away so easily.
As I said, after this hour or so of self-torture, I thought - well, that was easy! Three years ago I would have taken to my bed for days after reading such lies told about myself! Now I can read it and even chuckle at some of the more outlandish claims that people suck up like manna.
But something strange happened: I began to question myself. Not about the facts... but about reality itself. What got to me was, strangely enough, the "pity factor." Here was a small group of people just literally SCREAMING that I had hurt them!!! I had, in some way, destroyed their lives. They were wounded, damaged, looked to me for help and I just brazenly took advantage of them and cast them aside. That was one variation. Another variation was that I was destroying the minds of other human beings (possibly untold numbers) talking about Organic Portals, or psychopaths, propagating the C's material, etc.
So it wasn't the lies that were told about me personally (or my husband, or our group) that affected me. Since I knew with certainty that those were lies, I have documents and dozens of witnesses, and so on, that isn't even the issue. The issue was the question as to whether or not what I am doing hurts people or not.
So, I forgot the main rule: Do NOT consider anything produced out of schizoidal rants as an idea which I ought to consider in the context of my own convictions and reason.
In other words, at some level, as I repeatedly recalled to mind the words emerging from the apparently anguished rage of these individuals, I began to interpret them in a manner corresponding to my own nature.
And it was PITY that opened the door. I began to HURT for those people who claimed that I had hurt them.
It was all downhill from there.
I began to think: "well, if these people think I am so awful, maybe I am?!" And then I began to start looking
at myself and everything I had ever said and done in a very negative light. I began to wonder if someone like me - obviously so different from these other people - has a right to exist since my existence causes pain to others. How dare I come along and take their happy lives away from them by expecting them to do the very hard (admittedly so) work that is required to find something of truth? After all, if they are so happy believing lies, what right do I have to upset that apple cart and cause them pain?
Then things began to really deteriorate. After taking the thoughts that far, I began to question my own view of everything. I began to ask myself do you really KNOW what is the difference between good and evil? After all, if these people believe YOU are evil, maybe they are right and you are wrong. What right do you have to exist?
Now remember, I am falling into this state all the while knowing the FACTS that are incontrovertible that I can see they are lying about. What's more, I can see that they are lying CONSCIOUSLY.
But still, their declared pain has evoked pity in me and that pity was the spider's web. Something mysterious began to act on my mind in a strange way and the result was that I found myself feeling exactly as though
I had no right to do anything, to want anything, no right to ask for anything, no right to live even. Everything I had ever done had done nothing but hurt other people. All these people were hurt, they were all
screaming out loud how I had hurt them, and obviously such a person as myself ought to just do the right thing and go out behind the barn and shoot myself and save the world further misery.
It took me about four days to come out of it. It was like falling into a black hole of despair and self doubt and self-accusation. It was slow and insidious, like poison.
So, it seems that I'm pretty good with dealing with the intellectual side of it, but when the pity ploy comes along, I'm still the world's biggest sucker. The instant I think that someone has been hurt by me or by something I have done, even inadvertently, I am almost drowning in suffering.
It lasted about four days. The time previous to that, about 8 months ago, involved someone close to me who was subverted by this filth. In THAT case, it was a lot worse. I ended up with a herniated cervical disc that took two months to heal.
What to do? How to make oneself not only intellectually immune, but also emotionally immune?
