Currently in Distress

[Maya]

Hey Evan, I've read everything you wrote and I'm just speachless.
I'm so sorry you have it so tough.
Just wanted to send you a big hug across the world.
I wish you the best possible outcome for you and strenght and gentleness for youself in whataver comes.
You are loved and appreciated !

I'm trying to articulate for at least a month how am I feeling here, but words do not come.
With so much pain in the world right now I'm in between overwhelmed and numb all the time.
Perimenopausal hormone rollercoaster also do not help. Most days I don't see any reason to be here on 3D anymore.
It's like if I vanish this right moment nobody would even notice.
Maybe only at home when they would eventually run out of loundry and starve to death ?
So, I understand....

Take care guys, all of you

I just realised this is Evans thread, not 'How are you feeling?' So I apologise for the 'me' part.
But the message remains the same. I'll think and pray for you E !

 

[Nienna]

Yes @T.C. that’s about the size of it. I feel like I’ve smashed my life, and therefore my soul trip to 5D might not be the “review” and “degauss” we all expect, but straight to the shredder, so to say. I do feel like I’ve spent my life as a peacemaker, always being the voice of reason when friends were having troubles. Always the designated shoulder to cry on. All of my school teachers said I should have been a lawyer. I decided to be a musician. And so, as an example of faking it till making it, I partied like a rock star, and in the process have all but killed my body and countless brain cells. I did more acid than Garcia. Many long journeys in the desert. I even lived in a Coptic Monastery for a time, and seriously considered the way of the monk. I ended up right back at home, leading an even better band, packing clubs and trading my earnings for my bar tab. Then who should show up at a local gig, on my birthday no less, than the girl with the big green eyes who hung out in my family’s pizza place at the beach? You guessed it, Wendy. That was the beginning of the third chapter of my life. I’m on the cusp of the fourth, and here’s what’s become my thread, playing out in the eyes and thoughts of the community that I call my other home. So that’s the “short” version.

I can see no reason at all why you will have your soul smashed. None whatsoever.

From what you have written in the quoted post above, as well as all of your other posts, what I see is someone who has done some not-so-good things, but came to realize it (quite the lesson that you learned) and you have been kind, caring and generous to those around you and those you have just met. I think you do not need to worry at all about soul-smashing.

Please don't be so hard on yourself. There is no need. Just continue doing the best that you can.

 

[Carl]

I just want everyone to know that, with the promise of staying off the pain meds, Wendy’s been being loving again. This has been a harrowing experience, yet with the support of you here, I feel like there’s a shot at landing on my feet. I cannot express my gratitude for the people of this community. You really have had my back. In this life and whatever follows you are part of who and what I am. I can only offer you the same.

That's good news, I hope you can now follow through with this and find a way. The Universe can be a harsh teacher, but it also often gives us second, third, even hundredth chances to learn a lesson. Being in your state now will certainly give you an opening to learn. However, countless others have been in your position and still learned nothing, taking their old ways to the grave. Even then it doesn't mean soul smashing - this life is not easy at all, God knows that! In the end it comes down to free will, although sometimes it can feel like you have none.

Thanks for sharing your story, I wish you the best.

 

[Scottie]

From what you have written in the quoted post above, as well as all of your other posts, what I see is someone who has done some not-so-good things, but came to realize it (quite the lesson that you learned) and you have been kind, caring and generous to those around you and those you have just met. I think you do not need to worry at all about soul-smashing.

I imagine that someone about to be "soul-smashed" would have very little awareness of their current situation and their impending 'break'.

The C's talked about soul-smashing, but they also said "nobody is a nobody" and "learn to think in unlimited terms".

Plus, when it comes to "souls", reread everything the C's said about them, OPs, psychos, etc.

When you really think about it, we understand very little about what a "soul" even is. We're a bit like dogs attempting to understand the function of an alternator in a car engine. They don't even fully understand what a car really is - much less the functioning of the engine or one particular part of that engine.

Just do the best you can with what you're given, and love à la Paul. And have faith. If any of us were THAT perfect, we wouldn't need to be here anymore!

 

[meadow_wind]

I just realised this is Evans thread, not 'How are you feeling?' So I apologise for the 'me' part.

No worries: it was indeed in the thread "How are you feeling" previously, but as per Evan's request, his conversation has been moved to a new thread by the mods 6 messages after you wrote