Cutting the thread

[Penderecki]

Hi Penderecki

You have nothing to apologize to me personally for - I was in no way offended, merely trying to shine a mirror back to you on the logical basis of your initial post. Sometimes the shock of seeing how others see our actions can help us to come back down to reality.



I am very glad you have had a change of heart and decided to stick around a little longer. That took courage and no little strength of will (there's nothing harder than looking at oneself and realizing ones vulnerability to emotional triggers). I am very sorry to hear that you are not in a good place. There are wonderful people here ready and willing to give you support so do not allow the shame to win out - you opened this thread for a good reason and so, as and when you feel you can, maybe try to use it to work through by sharing some of the issues that are coming up for you and that seem to prove so stubborn and insurmountable when dealt with alone. You are not alone. The forum is here to support you when you need it.

Hello there, good to hear from you, and thank you for clarifying, I much appreciate it! Love, Penderecki.

 

[Penderecki]

Hi Penderecki

You have nothing to apologize to me personally for - I was in no way offended, merely trying to shine a mirror back to you on the logical basis of your initial post. Sometimes the shock of seeing how others see our actions can help us to come back down to reality.



I am very glad you have had a change of heart and decided to stick around a little longer. That took courage and no little strength of will (there's nothing harder than looking at oneself and realizing ones vulnerability to emotional triggers). I am very sorry to hear that you are not in a good place. There are wonderful people here ready and willing to give you support so do not allow the shame to win out - you opened this thread for a good reason and so, as and when you feel you can, maybe try to use it to work through by sharing some of the issues that are coming up for you and that seem to prove so stubborn and insurmountable when dealt with alone. You are not alone. The forum is here to support you when you need it.

Thank you, I truly appreciate your kind words of comfort.

 

[Menna]

but it seems my membership on this forum

Can you elaborate on the why you wrote membership?

You know you can come and go as you please, don’t have to give anything monetary and nothing is required of you per se.

I only bring this up as I don’t classify being a member of this forum as a “membership.”

I do view this place as a network, information source and a place to practice and exercise my discernment.

As far as Laura raising money for her group, aims and practicing. If you look at the output of work she has turned out over the years is the expectation that she also has a 9-5/Career? They also rented their place before they purchased as they DIDN’T have enough money.

I’m pretty sure there are no Roll Royce’s, Rolexes and lavish vacations but yes her, her family and group have a place to stay while they work on esoteric topics.

Also the ouija board is a part of the info here on the forum. If you don’t like parts it doesn’t mean the baby has to go out with the bath water.

I am not convincing or forcing just conversing

 

[Penderecki]

Can you elaborate on the why you wrote membership?

You know you can come and go as you please, don’t have to give anything monetary and nothing is required of you per se.

I only bring this up as I don’t classify being a member of this forum as a “membership.”

I do view this place as a network, information source and a place to practice and exercise my discernment.

As far as Laura raising money for her group, aims and practicing. If you look at the output of work she has turned out over the years is the expectation that she also has a 9-5/Career? They also rented their place before they purchased as they DIDN’T have enough money.

I’m pretty sure there are no Roll Royce’s, Rolexes and lavish vacations but yes her, her family and group have a place to stay while they work on esoteric topics.

Also the ouija board is a part of the info here on the forum. If you don’t like parts it doesn’t mean the baby has to go out with the bath water.

I am not convincing or forcing just conversing

I used the word membership because my English language skills are limited, I simply meant 'sticking around. As to the 'parts that I don't like' - I've yet to form an opinion, but after some thinking on my part, and some clarifications on the part of other forum participants, there are no such parts, not as of yet. Obviously, I have much homework to do when it comes to the C. project as a whole, but even so, speaking in genral terms, I am enthusiastic about LKJ's work and the input of people here on the forum, and that is not likely to change any time soon, if ever. I find the info here and the various perspectives that are presented as crucial for my growth towards the light.
Thank you for conversing.

 

[Penderecki]

Penderecki, with genuine respect, it seems to me you were experiencing this on some level before you arrived here, you just may not have been so consciously aware.

In my personal opinion your situation is only now being amplified and getting very uncomfortable - partly because there are forces (and likely attachments) directly interfering with you; those forces would rather you fall back into old ways and lower vibrational pathways, anything to prevent you from seeking light/knowedge. From what I have observed about my own experience, when you find a pathway that can truly support you to grow and raise your consciousness, that is when you will come under the most intense attack. 'They' will try anything to prevent you from making sustained, consistent effort to raise your own vibration/personal frequency, empowering yourself through knowledge. Make no mistake: this is a battle for your Soul. Up until now, the dark side thought they were winning. Your pain and suffering is, after all, their greatest joy and source of nourishment. (Chomp chomp... where's the ketchup!)

Gathering knowledge and directly applying it to your reality on a daily, hourly, minute by minute basis requires great effort, but over time it becomes more natural and intuitive. It's a bit like learning to drive a car, at the beginning there are many things to consider, to think about consciously, to focus on mentally, multiple issues you need to focus on and manage simultaneously... but over time, it becomes easier, less stressful, you are able to drive and focus on the bigger picture; you learn to drive competently, with greater coordination, you learn to read your environment and pay attention to the energy and behaviour of others (as well as yourself), you gradually learn to identify unhinged, triggered, crazy psycho 'drivers' and maintain a healthy distance, perhaps even opting for a different route to get to your destination.

In terms of what you said in your last post, from what I see, there is nothing that needs to be forgiven. It shows you are thinking, questioning and paying attention to qualifying information - you are doing your best to practice discernment - it is a pretty normal (intelligent!) response to question things, particularly when you have repeatedly been burned. I am sure most people apply some form of critical thinking before choosing to dive into this path, needing to have full comprehension of the origins of the group, their motivation and methodologies. I know I looked very carefully at this tribe myself, before I felt comfortable joining. Maybe you jumped in before you looked too hard, but perhaps you needed that experience to ultimately have more clarity and perspective. Everyone understands it is easy to get hooked into the drama and stories 'out there', but your internal compass seems to be saying this is a place worth checking out, otherwise you wouldn't still be here.

You speak of suicidal energies ...

Something practical that may well help you greatly with these troubles is the Éiriú Eolas breathing program (EE). There are multiple benefits from practicing this regularly (more than are listed below) and this is attested by many people on the forum. When we are traumatised and filled with anxiety, we don't breathe, everything gets twisted, locked up, distorted.

Even if you just start gently by doing the exercises and stretches / then the pipe breathing / then listen to the mediation at the end of the program, IMHO, this has the potential to help you SO much. Do be careful with the program, it has the potential to be very cathartic and bring emotional issues to the surface so it might be best to just ease yourself into the program.

I cannot begin to explain how much this program has helped me. During the meditation at the end, often tears would stream down my face listening to Laura's voice, feeling so much gratitude for the incredible grace brought into my life and for the beauty, warmth and depth of her Soul. I experienced many very powerful transformations in my life and wellbeing once I started using the program and a lot of emotional release and healing.

If you suddenly find you are super 'triggered' and overwhelmed... you might want to just listen to the meditation on its own while doing quiet gentle 'belly breathing' if you are able... this can really help you pull yourself back together. If I was overwhelmed, I used to replay the meditation a couple of times over and drift off into the deepest healing sleep. (Definitely don't listen to it at all while driving!).



You can check out the EE program online. The presentation runs for over 2 hours, where Laura offers the viewer background information about why the program was developed, explains the benefits of this particular breathwork, demonstrates breathing techniques etc, she explains everything really well.





I also encourage you to read EE's Quick Guide, which gives a great overview/understanding.

Once you have tried the program online you can opt to purchase:

• 2 Disc DVD, or
• an audio download.

In no time, you will be able to use the techniques unassisted, no matter where you are, or what situation you are in.
(Best money I ever spent. Along with Laura's books of course!)

Sending a, to you Penderecki... and some gentle, warm sunshine.
Maybe you can get into nature on your own for a bit every day, the Earth offers so much healing, and just like with everything, our receptivity is greater when we consciously take the time to connect and offer love and gratitude in return.

Some sparkly, warm and gentle & shiny words for forest light, resident of Dagobah, all intertwined with a plea for some bright flowers and a friendly hug.
I've packed my toothbrush, for those of my teeth that still have the courage to stand up, I've packed my slippers, especially designed for navigating such fine places as Hades, Avernus, Hel and plain old hell as well, so what else is there to take, except those things that mostly have to do with personal hygiene?
I don't know, I have to bring myself, I guess, having decided to check into a Hospital for mental health; I have some 60 minutes left so I thought to say goodbye and write a few words to you all who have been so kind to me, especially forest light and zzartemis (Michelle).
I sure hope to get back in touch with all of you when I get back, for I have hopes to check out of that hospital at a certain point in time, I just don't know how long my stay there will be (I suspect I won't have computer access).
I have reached the end of a line that can not be travelled any longer, not without changing, or at the very least modifying, the course, the alternative would be to sink, and that simply isn't an option.
There is a social stigma attached to mental patients and mental hospitals, which is why I took so long to decide on this course of action, I feel tired and apprehensive, and there is not a single book that I decided to take with me, not even the Psalms.
My mind is in a strange state of "revolt", so much so that it can not take in any additional words, thoughts, ideas, I guess I could say I am fed up.
Which is why I think of the period ahead of me as an opportunity to digest what I have already absorbed in one way or another.
I thank you from the depth of my for all the love and wisdom you have so generously shared with me.
If you can muster a kind thought here and there for me I will be truly grateful.
Love, Penderecki

 

[Happy Poo]

Some sparkly, warm and gentle & shiny words for forest light, resident of Dagobah, all intertwined with a plea for some bright flowers and a friendly hug.
I've packed my toothbrush, for those of my teeth that still have the courage to stand up, I've packed my slippers, especially designed for navigating such fine places as Hades, Avernus, Hel and plain old hell as well, so what else is there to take, except those things that mostly have to do with personal hygiene?
I don't know, I have to bring myself, I guess, having decided to check into a Hospital for mental health; I have some 60 minutes left so I thought to say goodbye and write a few words to you all who have been so kind to me, especially forest light and zzartemis (Michelle).
I sure hope to get back in touch with all of you when I get back, for I have hopes to check out of that hospital at a certain point in time, I just don't know how long my stay there will be (I suspect I won't have computer access).
I have reached the end of a line that can not be travelled any longer, not without changing, or at the very least modifying, the course, the alternative would be to sink, and that simply isn't an option.
There is a social stigma attached to mental patients and mental hospitals, which is why I took so long to decide on this course of action, I feel tired and apprehensive, and there is not a single book that I decided to take with me, not even the Psalms.
My mind is in a strange state of "revolt", so much so that it can not take in any additional words, thoughts, ideas, I guess I could say I am fed up.
Which is why I think of the period ahead of me as an opportunity to digest what I have already absorbed in one way or another.
I thank you from the depth of my for all the love and wisdom you have so generously shared with me.
If you can muster a kind thought here and there for me I will be truly grateful.
Love, Penderecki

Sending you kind thoughts right now.. I'm not great at taking in too many words sometimes either lol. Take care of yourself, much love.

 

[Tuatha de Danaan]

I've packed my toothbrush, for those of my teeth that still have the courage to stand up, I've packed my slippers, especially designed for navigating such fine places as Hades, Avernus, Hel and plain old hell as well, so what else is there to take, except those things that mostly have to do with personal hygiene?

The very best wishes to you Penderecki. You have now taken a step, a decision to Do.
Hopefully you can take your computer with you but if not I very much hope you get rest and more importantly some outside help and advice away from the closed circle of you current life.
You will remain in my thoughts until we hear from you again.

I've packed my toothbrush, for those of my teeth that still have the courage to stand up,

Great to see humour peeping out !!!!

 

[forest_light]

Some sparkly, warm and gentle & shiny words for forest light, resident of Dagobah, all intertwined with a plea for some bright flowers and a friendly hug.
I've packed my toothbrush, for those of my teeth that still have the courage to stand up, I've packed my slippers, especially designed for navigating such fine places as Hades, Avernus, Hel and plain old hell as well, so what else is there to take, except those things that mostly have to do with personal hygiene?
I don't know, I have to bring myself, I guess, having decided to check into a Hospital for mental health; I have some 60 minutes left so I thought to say goodbye and write a few words to you all who have been so kind to me, especially forest light and zzartemis (Michelle).
I sure hope to get back in touch with all of you when I get back, for I have hopes to check out of that hospital at a certain point in time, I just don't know how long my stay there will be (I suspect I won't have computer access).
I have reached the end of a line that can not be travelled any longer, not without changing, or at the very least modifying, the course, the alternative would be to sink, and that simply isn't an option.
There is a social stigma attached to mental patients and mental hospitals, which is why I took so long to decide on this course of action, I feel tired and apprehensive, and there is not a single book that I decided to take with me, not even the Psalms.
My mind is in a strange state of "revolt", so much so that it can not take in any additional words, thoughts, ideas, I guess I could say I am fed up.
Which is why I think of the period ahead of me as an opportunity to digest what I have already absorbed in one way or another.
I thank you from the depth of my for all the love and wisdom you have so generously shared with me.
If you can muster a kind thought here and there for me I will be truly grateful.
Love, Penderecki

Gratitude for your generous words kindness, warmth and sparkles, Penderecki Even in a time of great struggle, when you need your energy for you the most, you have the capacity to reach out and shine light to others - to me, this says a lot about you.

I know you may not see this message for some time, but I am one of those creatures that tends to send things out into the ether in multiple forms... thought, prayer, word, knowing ultimately it is bound to be received on some level.

To echo Tuatha, it's encouraging to see your humour, you do make me chuckle...
you are naturally funny and have a wonderful gift through the written word.

Ha ha, I suspect we may have similar slippers... rather useful
and yes, personal hygiene is very important, including the psychic kind.

It is so understandable and natural that you would be feeling apprehensive! I pray already that has already eased and that this period of time will bring you in contact with people who will listen, truly hear, see and acknowledge you with respectfully and with kindness; that they are genuine, supportive, and compassionate and that they help you to find ways to rest, reclaim and recalibrate parts of yourself that have been so deeply in struggle. You feel/sound so utterly exhausted; it's clear that you have been 'emptied out', your life force has been massively depleted... I recognise that well from my own past experience / 'dark night of the soul'. You also still (thankfully) have your wits about you enough to recognise this is very serious; asking for (and accepting) help is a sign of deeper inner wisdom, real strength and intelligence. As for 'stigma'... what other people think is defined only by their own experience and awareness (or lack of). They have not had your journey. It is yours alone - and ultimately - it is between you and God.

Once you have had some time to rest and heal for a bit, the deeper healing will come from your own soul awareness and Growth of Knowledge. While you are taking this time now to support yourself, I pray that you will experience an increasing sense of inner peace and calm, that you connect with some truly good hearted souls; people who can help you see yourself - including the light and beauty within your own soul, and can help you focus on ways to soothe and calm the parts of you in pain. I pray that there is somewhere you can sit daily with the earth in a quiet peaceful garden space to lighten and lift your soul, to be in healing communion with the Cosmic Mind / God through the Earth, nature. Inspiration and healing from the Cosmic Mind comes to us in many forms. If there is no nature space where you are, perhaps you can create such a place in your own mind and ask for this to be a conduit to help bring you healing.

Go well brother, take your time... there is no rush.
Many from this density (and beyond) will be sending positive energy, prayers-love-light your way.

Gentle hugs
and a garden of sweet optimism to brighten your day.