Effects of the wave as emotional sensate?

[Cosmos]

Thanks for the replies.i will be brief,as am using my phone. I am doing quite a bit of meditation wirhout beatha, and sonetimes with when i am balanced. The odd time. I do have streches of normalcy. Or rather these are the streches,as maybe i am being attacked at those rimes? Cause it qould usually end with gettibg high. Even if it is just once. The one thing that really makes me wonder is the pupil siE. Tgey are huge ubtil it is over.

Davey, until you are 100% clean for at least a year, this is going to continue to happen. Until you are in a position to completely clear up your diet, there will also be issues with anxiety and panic. There is NO way around this. You have to be strong and hold on and give your body the time it needs to heal - that means ZERO drugs - not even just once in a while, or you start all over again. It also means eventually getting your diet clean (zero gluten, zero dairy, zero sugar, high animal fat and very low carbs). There is no need for 'attack' by outside forces - this is all physiological at this point.

I second that.

there is a rational explanation for what you are going through davey72.
that should be obvious to you, falling for delusion thinking is not very helpful. ;)

keep strong ! we are with you :)
might I ask you : are you under professional supervision ?

 

[Al Today]

Hi Davey,
For some reason I want you to know I am rooting for you... me and others not known. I bet there are others here with similar issues of cleansing. It's tough man. I know. I know. First of all, in order for someone to be helped, one must want change. Oh boy... speaking of myself, I remember the trauma of emotional bankruptcy and great physical pain. One Major Problem I see with pain is that pain becomes a memory after time. The intensity of that pain dissipates with time. How can one hold onto that intense desire for change? I have no easy answer. I do know We gotta Work to remember that pain and keep friendships alive (network) so the fight can continue. I am no way near perfect. I also hate the shame of failure and feeling like a hypocrite because I haven't got this Work nailed down to being on autopilot.

Anart is correct in that you, me and we all must have zero(0) tolerance for what goes into our bodies. Both of what we ingest and in what we think. It's kinda like an old joke I used to say. We keep practicing religion because we cannot get it right. Or I'm a practicing alcoholic because I cannot get it right.
A while back I posted some rant about hoping that someday, all this work will become part of my character. Not a struggle of will power, but actually a no brainer. I really hope, think and believe this all can become a no brainer. But it takes HARD work. Constantly and consistently.

I'm with ya dude. In more ways than you know. And... I bet there are others out there practicing with the hope of getting this right. Becoming a "real" person...

[...]
Davey, until you are 100% clean for at least a year, this is going to continue to happen. Until you are in a position to completely clear up your diet, there will also be issues with anxiety and panic. There is NO way around this. You have to be strong and hold on and give your body the time it needs to heal - that means ZERO drugs - not even just once in a while, or you start all over again. It also means eventually getting your diet clean (zero gluten, zero dairy, zero sugar, high animal fat and very low carbs). There is no need for 'attack' by outside forces - this is all physiological at this point.

edit: correct quote author... :)

 

[bngenoh]

Whoah1! Awesome. I never thought of that. Ya, and gluten, and casien bind to yer opiate receptors. Very interesting. I have always wondered if this drug affect somehow more firmly entrenches one into this 3d reality?

It's definitely the way i am leaning. The part in Beelzebubs Tales To His Grandson, where Beelzebub is talking about the Tikliamishan civilization, and the habit that developed among the people there of chewing poppy seeds, and that it had a similar effect on the population as the organ kundabuffer did when it was in full operation comes to mind.

It definitely entrenches one where ever one is, because you are "mystified" and "feeling good" ie hypnotized. Why would you want to go anywhere else?, its perfectly fine rgiht here. So you stay where you are completely in illusion and subjectivity, sometimes reality comes in to bonk you on the head :D, but you quickly forget about it, and maybe you increase the "dose" a little whatever your "drug" of CHOICE is of course.

Is it any wonder why the planet is in the state that it is in at the moment. Humanity has been high as hell for over 10,000 years, with very little contact with reality. It has let malfunctioning machines take over (psychopaths), and dictate to them how things are (government, religion, "science," etc), it does't take a genius to see where such a situation will eventually lead to if atleast a minimum of humans do not clense themselves in all ways, so they may be able to SEE & ACT in a manner that is dictated by sane & clear thinking and by interaction with objective reality.

Isn't this essentially what "The Work" is, it's basically a rehab program for us who have "fallen." Oh "I" just love how that came together like that. :D

As to this Al Today:

A while back I posted some rant about hoping that someday, all this work will become part of my character. Not a struggle of will power, but actually a no brainer. I really hope, think and believe this all can become a no brainer. But it takes HARD work. Constantly and consistently.

This is exactly what i have realized myself, and its kind of hilarious to me. We have to break our backs in our struggles, in order that everything may flow from us effortlessly, it sounds a lot like working out :D. You start at whatever level you are, some people are naturally stronger, have the genetics for quickly building muscle and recovering quicker, etc. But all experience discomfort, pain, doubts, etc when one starts working out, but if you stick with it (commitment), make no excuses (internal nonconsidering), workout regularly (discipline), it gets easier, and easier, then one day, you go into the gym, and bench press 225 lbs or something, then you say holy crap. :D

"I" could have keep going on and on with that analogy, but didn't want to ramble. "I" am seeing so many areas in life that can be interpreted from the prespective of "The Work", and i am thinking there is really nothing that can't be interpreted in terms of "The Work," of course i could be wrong on that one. :D

 

[davey72]

Thanks for the replies.i will be brief,as am using my phone. I am doing quite a bit of meditation wirhout beatha, and sonetimes with when i am balanced. The odd time. I do have streches of normalcy. Or rather these are the streches,as maybe i am being attacked at those rimes? Cause it qould usually end with gettibg high. Even if it is just once. The one thing that really makes me wonder is the pupil siE. Tgey are huge ubtil it is over.

Davey, until you are 100% clean for at least a year, this is going to continue to happen. Until you are in a position to completely clear up your diet, there will also be issues with anxiety and panic. There is NO way around this. You have to be strong and hold on and give your body the time it needs to heal - that means ZERO drugs - not even just once in a while, or you start all over again. It also means eventually getting your diet clean (zero gluten, zero dairy, zero sugar, high animal fat and very low carbs). There is no need for 'attack' by outside forces - this is all physiological at this point.

I second that.

there is a rational explanation for what you are going through davey72.
that should be obvious to you, falling for delusion thinking is not very helpful. ;)

keep strong ! we are with you :)
might I ask you : are you under professional supervision ?

Yes. it is obvious. apologies for that post. I think have finally learned how to use my phone properly in this regard. I am curious of what kind of supervision you are asking about?

 

[davey72]

Thanks for the encouragement, Al Today. bngenoh, this is exactly what i have tried to relay a few times in the past, to no avail. I am glad that someone was able to "get" what i have been trying to relay. Obviously my thinking is still muddled, but hopefully this will clear in time. I have been curious as to how pupil size might relate to the thoughts of your last post?

 

[Seraphina]

As an opiate addict myself, I can say it may take some time being completely free and clear of the drugs to get to thinking clearly again. The neurotransmitters have to rebuild along with the number of receptors reducing. Diet is extremely important in providing the essential ingredients.
Also, the patterns of thought that became so prevalent in our addicted minds have to be refocused by constant conscious will into new, healthier ways of thinking, til it becomes wired in...we literally have to grow new synaptic connections in our brains. It doesn't happen overnight. Be patient and brutally honest with yourself.

Anxiety and pupil response can be caused by Magnesium deficiency, btw.

Diet, proper suppliments, exercise, meditation, and honesty have been my greatest allies in recovery.

 

[Cosmos]

I am curious of what kind of supervision you are asking about?

are you in a clinic for recovery of some kind ?
or are you doing this alone without a doctor or somebody with experience in this matter ?

 

[stellar]

Whoah1! Awesome. I never thought of that. Ya,and gluten, and casien bind to yer opiate receptors. Very interesting. I have always wondered if this drug affect somehow more firmly entrenches one into this 3d reality?

Hopefully this will not come across as too harsh as the intent is for a wake up call. For someone who has been a member of the forum as long as you have it seems as though you have not been paying alot of attention to the diet and health section. Your response above is what I am refering to regarding gluten, casein, opiate receptors etc.

It is your responsibility to read and study up on these topics. The forum is full of information as are the articles on Sott on all the diet issues and studies. We are all here to share our experiences and help each other without doubt. I cannot help but get the impression that your efforts, for your own benefit at least, leave alot to be desired. It will not come to you on a silver platter, you must work for the results and workd hard.

 

[davey72]

As an opiate addict myself, I can say it may take some time being completely free and clear of the drugs to get to thinking clearly again. The neurotransmitters have to rebuild along with the number of receptors reducing. Diet is extremely important in providing the essential ingredients.
Also, the patterns of thought that became so prevalent in our addicted minds have to be refocused by constant conscious will into new, healthier ways of thinking, til it becomes wired in...we literally have to grow new synaptic connections in our brains. It doesn't happen overnight. Be patient and brutally honest with yourself.

Anxiety and pupil response can be caused by Magnesium deficiency, btw.

Diet, proper suppliments, exercise, meditation, and honesty have been my greatest allies in recovery.

Yes, this is all so true. I do know all of the theory, i just need to continue the practice. Having to start over after a slip in diet(both physical,and mental) is my biggest struggle right now.

 

[davey72]

Whoah1! Awesome. I never thought of that. Ya,and gluten, and casien bind to yer opiate receptors. Very interesting. I have always wondered if this drug affect somehow more firmly entrenches one into this 3d reality?

Hopefully this will not come across as too harsh as the intent is for a wake up call. For someone who has been a member of the forum as long as you have it seems as though you have not been paying alot of attention to the diet and health section. Your response above is what I am refering to regarding gluten, casein, opiate receptors etc.

It is your responsibility to read and study up on these topics. The forum is full of information as are the articles on Sott on all the diet issues and studies. We are all here to share our experiences and help each other without doubt. I cannot help but get the impression that your efforts, for your own benefit at least, leave alot to be desired. It will not come to you on a silver platter, you must work for the results and workd hard.

I take it as i think it is intended, and appreciate it. Yes, i have done study in the health section, and hqve a good idea of what to qvoid. The only problem i have right now is my financial situation. I am renting a room at a homeless shelter atm. This is where my struggle lies. I am exposed to a lot of processed foods,etc. I try to make the odd amount of money,but due to my situation,is limited to shoveling snow door to door right now. So, when there is nothing else to eat, i am probably ingestibg small amounts of gluten, and processed foods. Now, knowing that i have to start over eacu. Time, i am starting to think that it would be better to just not eat on certain days. Pashalis, again i appreciate the questions as intended. No, i do not have supervision,atm. I went through, and graduated from a treatment center. I did well, and even spoke,and sang for the first time at the grad. I am trying to find a free councellor. I tried to see the one at the treatment center, but wws dissilusioned,as he was not very good. He was a great guy,but was so full of antidepressqnts,or antipsychotics,that drs prescribe normal patients these days,that he just didnt have a clue.there was a woman ,but rverytime i tried to see her,people would not call for me,or give me the wrong date,etc. I still really think it may be benrficial if i can find a good one, but for now the forum is filling that role for me.

 

[Cosmos]

davey72 that's a difficult situation you are in I can understand.

you should obviously have priorities of what you have to do now.
you should eat something even if your financial state is not very good right now. that means some food is better then no food at all.

my suggestion at this point would be the following:

- get clean 100% , no excuses Period.
- when you have done the first most important thing, if it is possible find some good cloths and make your appearance look good.
- wear those good clothes when you search for a job.
- try to separate yourself completely from the environment you were in previously ( drug enviroment, drug friends etc.).
make a point to that.
move away from them if it is necessarily.

if your current state doesn't allow you to do the diet, that's ok . most important at this point are those things I wrote above .
when you are in a better enviroment and financial situation you can do the diet 100%.

but when you have the choice of eating something"evil" or "good" at this moment, choose the good.
if there is no other way then you probably have to eat some evil stuff at the moment.

 

[Seraphina]

No, i do not have supervision,atm. I went through, and graduated from a treatment center. I did well, and even spoke,and sang for the first time at the grad. I am trying to find a free councellor. I tried to see the one at the treatment center, but wws dissilusioned,as he was not very good. He was a great guy,but was so full of antidepressqnts,or antipsychotics,that drs prescribe normal patients these days,that he just didnt have a clue.there was a woman ,but rverytime i tried to see her,people would not call for me,or give me the wrong date,etc. I still really think it may be benrficial if i can find a good one, but for now the forum is filling that role for me.

You don't necessarily need a councilor or physician, if you can find a good sponsor through N/A or A/A that can suffice...at least until you are confident in your recovery. Someone who's been there, knows every game in the book, and will call you out on your BS when needed. The best part is...they're free.

 

[stellar]

The only problem i have right now is my financial situation. I am renting a room at a homeless shelter atm. This is where my struggle lies. I am exposed to a lot of processed foods,etc. I try to make the odd amount of money,but due to my situation,is limited to shoveling snow door to door right now. So, when there is nothing else to eat, i am probably ingestibg small amounts of gluten, and processed foods. Now, knowing that i have to start over eacu. Time, i am starting to think that it would be better to just not eat on certain days.

Without knowing what your available weekly budget is, do you think it is possible to live on bacon n' eggs for a while?

I really hope work prospects improve for you soon. I know how hard it is when you don't know where your next pay is coming from.Hang in there.

 

[SeekinTruth]

The only problem i have right now is my financial situation. I am renting a room at a homeless shelter atm. This is where my struggle lies. I am exposed to a lot of processed foods,etc. I try to make the odd amount of money,but due to my situation,is limited to shoveling snow door to door right now. So, when there is nothing else to eat, i am probably ingestibg small amounts of gluten, and processed foods. Now, knowing that i have to start over eacu. Time, i am starting to think that it would be better to just not eat on certain days.

Without knowing what your available weekly budget is, do you think it is possible to live on bacon n' eggs for a while?

I really hope work prospects improve for you soon. I know how hard it is when you don't know where your next pay is coming from.Hang in there.

I'll second what stellar wrote. Also, davey72, when you can get to a little better circumstances, it actually saves money to be 100% on the low carb/high fat diet because you end up eating much less overall -- so buying less food. Best of luck to you with your struggles.

 

[davey72]

Again,thanks all for the encouragement. It really does mean a lot to me, as this is the only place i really get it from. That, and the calling out of my bullshit that i so need.