Last night during the Beatha stage of EE I had an intense and overwhelming experience which I would greatly appreciate some feedback on regarding what was actually happening.
As I have said before on this thread, I have not yet experienced any conscious emotional release during the actual practice of doing EE. Realisations have arisen while doing the breathing exercises and significant events have taken place in my dreams, but nothing that has been
this of this nature. Last night while doing the Beatha breathing, I felt the usual tingling sensations in my body and face, the occasional sporadic movement of my leg or other part of my body, and the tenseness in my hands. These are the things that I experience most times I practice EE, so when these occurred I expected nothing out of the ordinary would take place.
However in the final round of the breathing, the energy I could feel running through my body was like nothing I have ever experienced before. It is hard to find the words to describe the feelings that I experience, but it felt like so much of this POWERFUL energy was being discharged through my hands. So powerful that on both of my hands my fingers were so tense that they were completely stiff and curled up and I was completely unable to move any of my fingers. This finger-tensing has happened before, but not to this extent. The overwhelming energy running through my fingers started to make me panic and I became slightly frightened. I could not move my fingers no matter how hard I tried and it was almost as if a pain was increasing, like an uncomfortable tension that felt like there was TOO much energy in my hands.
My hands were currently by my side at this point, and the more I tried to move my fingers the more energy and tension built up. So I sat up to show Thorn my fingers and asked her if she could feel them to see if I was just imagining this or not. She reassured me that everything was probably OK and that I should just try and lay down an relax. Suddenly I remembered this post :
Oxajil said:
Konstantin said:
During the period i practice EE, my hardest part is the last part, the meditation part. I`m doing POTS meditation every night before sleep.
There are periods when i feel that i cant meditate more then 10 minutes. I feel some kind of restlessness in the area of my solar plexus, Sometimes my legs i i have a need to move and to stop meditation. I cant really explain it with words. I`m trying to fight this strange feeling and i think that its getting more and more seldom.
I think it's okay to allow your legs to move and to stop the meditation if needed. Or to keep the meditation going while you move your legs. If I remember correctly, sometimes, such sudden movements can be a way to release trauma, based on what Peter Levine has said. I think it's a good sign that it occurs less!
The words of Peter Levine crept into my mind and I remembered the recommendation in his book - to
listen to the body. It was at this point that I lay back down and attempted to get "in touch" with my body. What I observed was that my hands had a life of their own, and that when I "let go" they both drifted upward towards my head. My right hand rested above my head and my left hand just beneath my chin. This was the only position where they felt as if they could be at rest. They were still vibrating uncontrollably, but this time it was manageable and was not uncomfortable like it was before. While doing the Pipe breath before POTS they gradually became to loosen up and the tension dissipated which I was thankful for.
I am of the opinion that perhaps I have some unresolved trauma locked in the body, and it occurred in a situation in my past where I had to restrain from holding my hands up in an act of protection. I have no idea when this may have occurred or whether there is any truth in any of it so will welcome all feedback. Thanks
P.S The picture of my hand is what Thorn thinks they looked like last night.
