Éiriú-Eolas - Breathing Program

Alana said:
Endymion said:
But there is hope, IMHO. Bringing this demanding self-important inner child into consciousness lessens its hold over me, and to deprive it of energy, and so helps me to have a glimpse of real asking.

Perhaps depriving the child you the energy it needed to grow and mature naturally was what left it a child and a demanding child in you? And if that's the case, maybe giving it the attention it needs yourself so that the child one does not demand it from outside of you, is what will nurture it and help it grow to maturity?

I am reminded of another part from the First Initiation here:

You must understand that all the other measures - talent, education, culture, genius - are changing measures, measures of detail. The only exact measure, the only unchanging, objective real measure is the measure of inner vision. I see - I see myself - by this, you have measured. With one higher real part, you have measured another lower part, also real. And this measure, defining by itself the role of each part, will lead you to respect for yourself.

And I am asking because i am not sure whether you meant "deprive it of energy" the way i understood it, Endymion. Let me know if i misunderstood.

Thank you for asking, Alana. I read again that last paragraph in my post, and I see now that I didn't do a very good job of describing an inner process. I should not have written 'deprive it of energy'; that is not an accurate description. What in fact happens is that when I allow the child part to have his self-important demanding voice, and I watch this happening in me, just by allowing it to be there without judgement, and completely accepting it as it is, that part changes.

The demanding voice lessens in intensity, while a kind of more open, spacious, non-anticipatory asking arises. Attention is energy (and unconditional acceptance is a function of love) so I have been giving my demanding inner child energy (attention) and love and the result has been some measure of transformation. I observe and accept completely the demanding inner child, while not allowing him to take over or indulging him. This process I think is described by G's quote about measuring a lower part with a higher.
 
Nienna Eluch said:
It seems that you are getting rid of a lot of emotional baggage Graalsword. You are going to start feeling "lighter" and have a whole new outlook on things, as you have already been noticing. But others will start to notice this new change in you, too, or so I think. :)

During the meditations, or any part of the exercises, if you have to swallow, do so. If you have to scratch an area or clear your throat, do so. Get it over with so that it is not distracting you. I've found that after doing these exercises for some time, this all slows down or stops. It is just another thing that your body has to get out of its system. So don't be overly concerned about these things. Just do what you need to do to be comfortable.

I agree... during BaHa in particular I used to get lots and lots of saliva, and dry mouth at the same time. I would moisten my lips only for them to dry again quickly. Those things have stopped with no dietary changes and indeed I got lighter and a little more perceptive regarding the feelings of others.
 
RedFox said:
Now I can see it (or so I think) I do not wish to possess and control that part of me....I do not wish to anticipate or demand or manipulate or predict how things will go (internally).
What I can say about being aware of this is that each mode has a certain feel to it (and their are shades as things overlap a little)...but mostly it is either a closed feeling or an open feeling. A feeling of constriction or a feeling of expansion. A feeling of 'lack' or a feeling of 'abundance'. A feeling of internal violation/manipulation or a feeling of internal co-operation/protection.

Its probably best to read that entire chapter again even if you haven't read it....and then try and think about how you limit yourself, and what that feels like (anxiety? stress? constriction? pressure?).....I'm pretty sure that black and white thinking/narcissistic thinking/pathological thinking are all elements of the mode of thinking that go with 'raping the maiden of the well'. fwiw

An interesting effect I've noticed since then is the things I am learning and understanding has multiplied exponentially.....that and I am more at ease with myself as I am than I think I've ever been in my life.

Thanks for the quotes, link and thoughts. I reread chapter 24, and I think this makes alot of sense to me, but I have a feeling it will take some time to "sink in". I know what you mean about the closed or open feeling. In my head I'm relating this to the common ideas of "trying too hard" or "wanting it too much". I was thinking about it yesterday and today after reading the article, and I thought of a couple of places where this is easy for me to see, now that I know what I'm looking at. For instance:

If I'm playing a game with my friends and I'm just having fun and not playing to win, I can be really good at it. I'll catch the ball almost every time (football), or I knock the ball through the wicket really easily (crochet), etc. Once I start playing to win, trying really hard to "get it right", I get really bad at the game, and it doesn't matter what game it is. Constricting the flow is a perfect way to describe the feeling.

Another example is when I try to talk to a pretty girl I have a crush on. Most of the time I'm a real people person, I have an easy time interacting with people, making them laugh, carrying on a conversation. I almost never run out of things to say. When I try to talk to someone I think I might like though, my mind goes blank and all that comes out are monosyllables.

In both examples my mind goes into self-deprecation mode, which makes it worse. I try to control the outcome of everything in my life!

Redfox said:
I came to an understanding of this a month or so ago.....an awareness that certain thoughts/beliefs would 'rape the maiden of the well'.....I could literally feel the difference. I suppose it is an awareness of what effect your inner processes are having on the inner landscape.

I realise now (after reading your quote) that this gave me a realisation that part of myself needed to be placed above all others.....because 'I' (left brain?) feel my role is to protect 'her' no matter what. It may be odd to say it, but to me it was the same disgust you feel (to see what I was doing to 'her') as you would feel realising and suddenly seeing pain being inflicted on another person.....

This makes sense to me after reading the chapter from the wave. Thinking about it in terms of "raping the maiden of the well", probably because of the graphic choice of language, is really making me stop and think.
 
Endymion said:
Seamas said:
Thanks for your reply, this is an important excerpt. I've read it before, and I had the concept of asking vs commanding in mind that evening when I decided to try to ask for help, but I haven't read it in a while. One of the things that was so interesting about the whole experience is that the "asking" I mentioned in my other post quickly turned into begging, pleading, whining, YELLING in my head, like a child throwing a temper tantrum. I'm not sure I know the difference between asking and commanding, or how to ask for help rather than demanding it, and I guess that is the point.

That's really interesting, Seamas. I have noticed the same thing in myself. It is all too easy to demand from the DCM while reciting the POTS. Because of this I started to consciously look to see whether I was asking or demanding.

What helps me to stop demanding is to consider questions like: Why should the DCM notice me? Why should DCM give those things to me that I have demanded? Do I do anything that would bring me to the attention of the DCM? Am I worthy of the DCM's attention?

I try to think of parallels between my ordinary life and the DCM. For example, how do I feel when someone demands something from me? Do I want to give it to them? The answer is no, because I feel that the demand is a kind of violation. If a person asks for something with a little respect and sincerity, I want to give because I can see their need, and their asking leaves open the possibility for me to refuse.

A demand does not respect free will. It is a kind of violation, because respect for free will, and for the other, is not present. And if that is the case for me, a small 3D being, I imagine that the DCM has a similar response. After all, the DCM is the 'Holy awareness in all creation, carried in the heart . . . '.

I too noticed that the demanding voice is that of a child, a child full of his own self-importance. It is perfectly described in the first paragraph of The First Initiation:

G said:
You will see that in life you get back exactly what you put in. Your life is the mirror of what you are, it is your image. You are passive, blind, demanding. You take all, you accept all, without ever feeling indebted. Your attitude towards the world and towards life is the attitude of one who has the right to demand and take. Of one who doesn't need to pay or gain. You believe that all things are due to you, only because it's you! All your blindness is there. It doesn't catch your attention. It is however what, in you, separates a world from another.

But there is hope, IMHO. Bringing this demanding self-important inner child into consciousness lessens its hold over me, and to deprive it of energy, and so helps me to have a glimpse of real asking.

Another interesting thing I noticed after reading Trapped in the Mirror and the Narcissistic Family is how prone I am to giving in to the demands of others, even though I don't want to. I think that I've gotten better at stopping and considering, before I automatically say yes to everything, since I read those books last winter. Thinking of demands as a violation REALLY makes me want to say no! I don't want to put other people in that position either.

http://www.cassiopaea.org/2010/05/18/the-wave-chapter-24-lucifer-and-the-pot-of-gold-or-the-quest-for-the-holy-grail-of-no-anticipation/ said:
The Cassiopaeans have said that one should not “act against” the forces of darkness, but that rather one should “act for” one’s own destiny. In a very practical sense this can even include physically extricating oneself from any number of unpleasant situations, even with force if necessary. If someone is trying to kill you or someone you love, and it is your perception of your destiny, or you feel it is your responsibility to prevent that, then it is entirely within the parameters of acting for one’s own destiny to do whatever is necessary to save your life or the lives of others.

I think I have been thinking that I needed to push back, to respond to violations, but "acting against" others is just another violation; more "raping the maiden of the well", more pain and suffering. Thanks for helping me to see the "asking vs demanding" debate as a free will issue, it helps to have another point of view to consider, another way to put myself in the other person's shoes.
 
Alana said:
You must understand that all the other measures - talent, education, culture, genius - are changing measures, measures of detail. The only exact measure, the only unchanging, objective real measure is the measure of inner vision. I see - I see myself - by this, you have measured. With one higher real part, you have measured another lower part, also real. And this measure, defining by itself the role of each part, will lead you to respect for yourself.

This part of the First Initiation never made sense to me. But seeing it highlighted in this way meshes with this line of thinking:

http://www.cassiopaea.org/2010/05/18/the-wave-chapter-24-lucifer-and-the-pot-of-gold-or-the-quest-for-the-holy-grail-of-no-anticipation/ said:
We note above that the left brain rules by conceptualization, imagination, and dogma. We then note that the right brain rules by sensing, perceiving directly via observation.
When the story says that Orion raped his love, the meaning is clear: the left-brain took over the function of the right brain, which was the direct conduit to universal powers of creation within the individual.

[...]

The Grail Hero, who can be anyone, is one who must discover the meeting place between the worlds where he can reestablish the links between feminine creative sovereignty and the kingship of the material realm. The loss of communion between the divine feminine rulership of the inner land and the rightful kingship of the outer realm is what we are concerned with here. The right brain rules the land or the material reality only by right of his true union with the feminine principle and championship of her freedom.

does it not? To elaborate on RedFox's response above, the role of the left-brain is to protect the feminine creativity of the right brain in the material world, as the chivalrous knight should protect the maiden of the well. When the left brain takes over the function of the right brain, the knight is "raping the maiden". I might be starting to get it:

Seamas said:
So in order to truly ask, in order to truly respect someone else, I have to develop respect for myself first? Its a little counterintuitive for me, but I'm trying to understand it. Maybe its one of those things the false self refuses to look at, because I feel like I'm chasing my own tail trying to think about it.

So I think too highly of myself, and by doing so I am disrespecting my true nature. In the same way I project this onto others (C's, DCM, other forum members and people). I cannot truly respect them because I place myself above all else. I don't recognize, as the C's say, "both termination/origination points are of equal value, importance". Rather than respectfully asking for help as if from an equal, I demand it because I recognize nothing above me. Does this make sense, or am I way off base here?
 
As for as my update is concerned. I am doing consistently before the sleep and as for as effects is concerned, nothing great. It's always heavy stress work load, predator deflections and EE balance out .
 
Hi all,

Been a while since I posted in this thread. Just wanted to update that I have been doing the pipe breathing and POTS daily and the BAHA portion on and off. Last spring I have not been doing the BAHA a lot and I was battling to pick it up again. Since this summer I got the discipline back, monday and thursday full program, other days pipe and pots. As effects nothing spectacular, but lots of tiny improvements, which include several hard truths to face. After doing the full program my dreams are more intense (but I do not remember much of it in the morning) and it seems my sleep is deeper and I feel refreshed in the morning.
 
My E-E experiences of the week indicate a quite normal pattern. Outside of the sessions, I’ve experienced a stuffy nose (primarily the right hand side – this passage is more constricted than the left due to surgery) for the past week – I believe RedFox commented on people having colds, which is slightly different – so what is my body telling me?

Louise Hay in You Can Heal Your Life said:
Nose – Stuffy - Not recognising self worth
Right side of body – Giving out, letting go, masculine energy, the father.

Well that makes sense for where I’ve been lately – Not recognising self worth, and refusing to let go. In fact, letting go was the subject of my therapy session on Tuesday.

Lise Bourbeau in Your body’s telling you: Love yourself! said:
NOSE PROBLEMS
PHYSICAL BLOCK

The most common problem associated with the nose is nasal congestion, or simply a stuffy nose. Swelling of nasal tissues due to allergies or trauma is also very common. Both swelling and congestion impede oxygen intake, resulting in headache and fatigue.
,,,
EMOTIONAL BLOCK
As air is a symbol of life force and fundamental to life on a physical level, difficulty in taking in breath through the nose is directly linked to taking in life. You tend to cut yourself off on a sensory level for fear of feeling your own suffering or the suffering of someone you love. On the other hand, it might be because you can’t stand someone, something, or a situation in your life.

MENTAL BLOCK
If, for whatever reason, you’ve lost or have a diminished sense of smell or a stuffy nose, ask yourself the following question: ”Who or what am I unable to stand at the moment?” It will get you nowhere to tell yourself that you feel nothing in order to avoid facing a situation. Determine what is frightening you. In my observation those who refuse to acknowledge their feelings fear injustice. Take a more loving look at the situation from an accepting and compassionate view, rather than from the critical standpoint that your ego occupies. The ego tends to want to change other people to justify its own need to be right.

Frequent nasal congestion occurs in those who are very sensitive, but who block their sensitivity for fear of being flooded emotionally. Embrace your sensitivity with gratitude and enjoy the love that will flow into your life. Understand there is a difference between emotion and sensitivity; you can be sensitive without becoming emotionally involved. In doing so, you will release the life force that has been stifled and be able to love and support others more freely. Take a deep, satisfying breath – it will open the blocks to your own wholeness and the achievement of your full potential.

Spot on for the E-E programme – As air is a symbol of life force and fundamental to life on a physical level, difficulty in taking in breath through the nose is directly linked to taking in life. – describes my life to a ‘T’ in terms of other than taking in life fully.

You tend to cut yourself off on a sensory level for fear of feeling your own suffering … This is what my therapist is telling me too.

its own need to be right. That’s one of my programmes too. Frequent nasal congestion occurs in those who are very sensitive, but who block their sensitivity for fear of being flooded emotionally. That about describes where I’m at now (the emotions are being released in other ways – but that’s another story).

Spot on for the E-E programme as well – Take a deep, satisfying breath – it will open the blocks to your own wholeness and the achievement of your full potential.

Some interesting learnings, there, to take on board and to fully integrate and understand. Especially – Understand there is a difference between emotion and sensitivity; you can be sensitive without becoming emotionally involved. In doing so, you will release the life force that has been stifled and be able to love and support others more freely. Thank you body for making me aware of this.
 
Thanks for posting those quotes Trevrizent. The right side of my nose/throat has been constricted as long as I can remember doing this program....its pretty weird noticing that breath flows more easily on my left side.

Nothing much to report on the EE program, I've unfortunatly not been able to do the full program this week yet (my 'programs' have been keeping me busy)....but I am doing the POTS/pipe breathing every night I am at home.


Endymion said:
Heimdallr said:
Just curious, for all you who are waking in the middle of the night, when are you taking your 5-HTP?

I can't take HTP because it makes me incredibly sleepy during the day. But I also wake in the night, two or three times, usually from a dream.

RedFox said:
I drink a lot of water throughout the day, but then don't have much after my evening meal (maybe half a glass). I did put it down to taking my pro-biotic before bed, but it seems to the same anyway.....
Only thing I can think of is the high protein diet may be causing it? Or perhaps I'm eating to much for my evening meal?

I follow the same drinking pattern as RF, and if I drink anything after my evening meal it will only be a few mouthfuls. I started waking in the night several years ago, usually needing to pee. Eating a few bites of a snack that contains fats, just before retiring (as suggested by James W Wilson) helps me to sleep better, and go back to sleep more easily when I do wake, as there is not that feeling of hunger that can keep me awake.

RF, I think it's quite possible that a high protein diet can cause excess urination. The following quote is from MedicineNet at: _http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=50900. I experienced this problem myself. While doing the ultra simple diet, I was consuming two tablespoons daily of hemp protein powder, which is that recommended amount on the pack. There was no mention on the pack of excess consumption. My urine became very dark regardless of the quantity of water I drank, I had a slight but constant ache in my kidneys, and I had muscular stiffness. At one point it was difficult to even turn my head fully to each side. It was not until I cut out the hemp protein powder from my diet that things returned to normal, which took a few weeks as the ketones were slowly flushed out of my system. I also took a Chinese herbal remedy called 'Six Flavour Tea Pills' or 'Liu Wei Di Huang Wan' for a couple of weeks which supported the restoration of my kidney function.

MedicineNet said:
[ . . . ] a diet in which protein makes up more than 30% of your caloric intake causes a buildup of toxic ketones. So-called ketogenic diets can thrust your kidneys into overdrive in order to flush these ketones from your body. As your kidneys rid your body of these toxic ketones, you can lose a significant amount of water, which puts you at risk of dehydration, particularly if you exercise heavily.

That water loss often shows up on the scale as weight loss. But along with losing water, you lose muscle mass and bone calcium. The dehydration also strains your kidneys and puts stress on your heart.

And dehydration from a ketogenic diet can make you feel weak and dizzy, give you bad breath, or lead to other problems.

Just wanted to say that I continued this subject here with some positive results, for those having similar problems.
Also dannybananny just posted about ketones here
 
Endymion said:
Thank you for asking, Alana. I read again that last paragraph in my post, and I see now that I didn't do a very good job of describing an inner process. I should not have written 'deprive it of energy'; that is not an accurate description. What in fact happens is that when I allow the child part to have his self-important demanding voice, and I watch this happening in me, just by allowing it to be there without judgement, and completely accepting it as it is, that part changes.

The demanding voice lessens in intensity, while a kind of more open, spacious, non-anticipatory asking arises. Attention is energy (and unconditional acceptance is a function of love) so I have been giving my demanding inner child energy (attention) and love and the result has been some measure of transformation. I observe and accept completely the demanding inner child, while not allowing him to take over or indulging him. This process I think is described by G's quote about measuring a lower part with a higher.

That's how i understand the G quote myself, Endymion. Thank you for explaining what you meant :)
 
Gawan said:
One question comes up, do you (guys) experience any difference in sleep when you have done the full program that day?
Or maybe trying doing the 3 stage breathing before going to bed?

I've been using EE for several months. At first it took some time to adjust my schedule and often it would be late at night when I got around to it, and would struggle against excuses to not do it. However, I discovered it is often both relaxing and even mildly energizing, so that in the end it seemed to result in a better night's sleep.
 
l_autre_d said:
Gawan said:
One question comes up, do you (guys) experience any difference in sleep when you have done the full program that day?
Or maybe trying doing the 3 stage breathing before going to bed?

I've been using EE for several months. At first it took some time to adjust my schedule and often it would be late at night when I got around to it, and would struggle against excuses to not do it. However, I discovered it is often both relaxing and even mildly energizing, so that in the end it seemed to result in a better night's sleep.

I agree. Sometimes it takes a little to get off my butt and do it but once I do I feel so relaxed and charged at the same time its truly amazing and yes, I always get a very restful night from it as well.
 
One of the things that have been happening in Beatha portion of breathing for couple of months now, is that I'll zone out for the intermediate and fast portions of the third and last repeat of Beatha, and then wake up when the track on loop will start over with the three stage (I have meditation as a different track). Since my EE sessions are mainly at night, I assumed that it was due to tiredness and body being over relaxed. But lately did an EE session in the morning after waking up, and again zoned out at the exact same spot! Ok, guess my body knows what it is doing. {scratching head}
 
Keit said:
One of the things that have been happening in Beatha portion of breathing for couple of months now, is that I'll zone out for the intermediate and fast portions of the third and last repeat of Beatha, and then wake up when the track on loop will start over with the three stage (I have meditation as a different track). Since my EE sessions are mainly at night, I assumed that it was due to tiredness and body being over relaxed. But lately did an EE session in the morning after waking up, and again zoned out at the exact same spot! Ok, guess my body knows what it is doing. {scratching head}

Same here, I tend to zone out between the second and third repeat of beatha. It also happens to me that I am able to ear layers of layers in Laura voice, and in one chance I didn't zone out and the program finished but I didn't remember to have done the beatha part! A kind of "lost time" :O
 
Tonight during beatha, instead of picturing breathing in what is good for my life, I pictured breathing in what is good for a new and more creative world, and exhaled all the feelings and senses I get from the control system that keep people locked in suffering. I guess it was an attempt at breathing for others.
 
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