The Living Force
obyvatel said:Hi Buddy,Buddy said:Freya said:So, I guess I am just curious as to what, exactly, constitutes a 'hunter/gatherer' temperament.
AD/HD; the "hunter" in Thomm Hartmann's "hunter/farmer" model; neurodiverse in the spectrum that autists' prefer to model as neurotypical/neurodiversity; or whatever is your preferred description for someone who is normally (without deliberate effort) not micro-synced to the minutia of everday neurochemical balancing acts (routine social bonding habits?) between people in social circumstances.
This part was quite difficult to understand. Not everybody has read Thomm Hartmann - I haven't.
Hypothetical example: You and I have quite a few shared experiences and have become what we both think of as "good friends." I go away on some project, hobby, or work assignment or special investigation or whatever and you don't see me for 5 or 6 months. Next time we meet, you get all excited, want to hug me, dance with me, shake my hand for 5 minutes, pat me on the back, ask a lot of personal questions like "where ya been, where'd ya go, what'cha been doing, how come you didn't blah, blah, blah..." but you don't do any of that because, just from my act of walking up to you, you've been hit with an impression that I don't, or must not, really care about you or something else like that. And that impression is formed when you notice that when I approached, I started talking to you as if we hadn't been apart for more than 30 seconds or so.
Should you try to ease your discomfort anyway by carrying on, you might get the impression I'm looking at you strangely; like I'm wondering what's wrong with you or what changed in you while I was away that you get all gushy on me and do you even have a life? Because I'm acting like hardly any time has passed and I'm still as good a friend this minute as I was when we parted company and to prove it, I invite you to my house tonight for more of our typical deep conversations about the kinds of things we normally like to talk about (because we're good friends, remember?).
Didn't quite get what you are trying to say. You do not like a good friend to express positive emotions and ask about how you have been while you were away after you went away without telling him/her?
It was difficult to understand to me also, the the "hunter" in Thomm Hartmann's "hunter/farmer" model, even reading it, but from Buddy's description/example it was, as clear as water, because I happend to have similar experiences, it is difficult/not use to express in that way the overwhelming feeling to “see us happily again, after N lapse of time”. Because “time” does not moves equally to everything, sometimes people use lapses of time to enhance or reduce things, I assume that it is due also to deep personal traumas. How I perceive life.
In my case, it is not that I do not like for friends expressing their emotions, it is mostly because I feel uncomfortable because –even though the emotion, may be same, similar- the way of expressing it is different. Although, I cant be sure if it is similar as Buddy.
It is like the hugs, I do not like to be hug (personal traumas too), it is still a little stressfull and uncomfortable to receive them, I have been learning to receive them, it is not easy. Its been like 2 news occasions this year that I want to give them, but I found myself without experience, and that makes me feel beyond awkward –with the intention of never do it again-, but I supposed that in a future, the action will be more natural. And people who know me knows I do not like hugs, they “force” me to receive it, is not that they are asking, there was a time in which I thought that deny it them would be consider as a lack of manners and running the “the nice program”, then I thought that, these people seems to need them more, and I went with he flow. How I perceive hugs is changing, but not as quickly –I supposed- as other people would expect or would desire.