Getting married and doorbell ringing

[Gertrudes]

I had a strange dream tonight, but can't yet make much sense of it. Any thoughts will be welcomed and appreciated.

I dreamt that I was getting married to a real life old friend that I haven't seen much over the last couple of years. The wedding was suppose to happen at 6pm, although that was also the precise time I finished work. This, to me, showed my lack of investment in that marriage.

As I was leaving work it dawned on me that I was supposed to get married although I simply couldn't remember nor understand why on earth had I decided to marry him.
I kept thinking that in my previous wedding with my current real life husband, I was so joyous and happy that it didn't make much sense to commit to someone who was far from creating in me that joy, so much so that I hadn't even notice that the ceremony was suppose to start at the exact time I finished work, which basically left me no time to get to the place.

In any case, I got there with my soon to be husband, hiding from everyone so that they couldn't see that the bride was so late, and yet to put her wedding dress and do her hair. There were plenty of people and they were all very fancily dressed. This placed more pressure in me as I felt that I couldn't now cancel the wedding after so much had been put into it and so many people were attending. But then again, I simply couldn't remember nor understand why I had decided to marry him.

I went into the basement where we were supposed to get dressed and, not feeling good with this situation, made an excuse that I had to go to the toilet. Being alone would buy me time to decide whether I would really go ahead with the ceremony or not. As soon as I sat on the toilet seat my doorbell, in real life, rang, and I woke up completely startled by it. I then asked my real life husband, who was already up and awake, to attend to it, only to be surprised by his answer, "there was no doorbell, you must have dreamt it". "No, I said, I am absolutely positive that I heard it, it woke me up even making me jump in bed!"

He was right, no one was at the door. It was very strange, I was so sure to have heard it! I fell back to sleep, and after a while I heard it again! Once again, no one had rang in real life. And it happened a third time!

This is the second time in the space of a week that I wake up startled with a doorbell that never rang in real life, although the first time I don't remember me dreaming.

Something is clearly trying to get my attention and I'm not seeing it.

Any thoughts?

 

[Mrs.Tigersoap]

Hi Gertrudes,

Weddings in dreams can sometimes invite to reflect upon the union of your two sides: feminine and masculine, left and right brain, emotions and reason, the anima and the animus, etc.
This could be an invitation to balance the two. In your dream, you seem to fight this union and you find ways to circumvent it. What about in real life? Do you feel you indeed struggle to unite the two? Which one takes over?

The door bell had the effect to wake you up. So, maybe, this is simply what it was: a wake-up call? In any case, it was really effective: there's nothing like waking up mid-dream and completely startled to remember it.

Others might have other ideas and interpretations, though. Just my two cents. :)

 

[Laura]

That was some heavy duty messaging, I think!

What does getting married really mean? Committment? Reluctance to commit to something? Not being prepared? Being late? And then door bell... "Open the door... " to something new? Somebody? Yourself?

 

[Gertrudes]

Thanks Mrs. Tigersoap and Laura.
I'm thinking that perhaps I can give you more details and context. Thing is, I didn't really want to marry him. It's as if I had made a commitment that I no longer understood the meaning of. I think I hadn't even notice I had made that commitment up until that moment.

I find it peculiar that the first time I heard the doorbell in today's dream was precisely when I got that little extra time for myself, alone, in the toilet, to decide whether I was going to go ahead with the wedding. I only had time to shut the door and seat on the toilet's seat when I heard the door. I'm still trying to get my head round the fact that the bell didn't actually ring, it was so darn loud!!

I think that deep inside I knew I shouldn't marry him, there was no love, no companionship, and I couldn't understand how I had gotten myself into that situation. Yet, because the ceremony was about to begin I felt pressured to go ahead. The fact that I went to the basement to get ready, where the toilet was also located, may represent the lower and deeper levels of my mind, as if I were perhaps accessing my subconscious in order to make that decision?

I don't know if this is related, but yesterday while doing EE I saw a word : Guilt, written in gold over a black background. It was disturbing, as I kept seeing it during the entire meditation. I know that this is a feeling that is ingrained in me, and I also see how useless and hindering it can be, particularly when it is over things you can't control.
Because of that little EE event, before I went to sleep I expressed to DCM the wish to just learn how to be less dramatic and see more the humour in things, and in my life.

Still, and as I said, it is the second time within a week that I heard the doorbell ring. The first time happened last week, either the night prior to, or after I had a lousy night with very little sleep while trying to make a decision, that is in my real life.
As I said elsewhere I am moving into another country within the next 1 to 2 months, and am working a lot on building a new business, get ready for the move, while keeping at my normal job. On that night, and feeling particularly tired, I began to realize that no matter what, I had to stop making excuses in keeping all of my classes (for those of you who don't know I'm a teacher), because I simply can't keep up with everything and my body is screaming that at me. However, I had to fight with an incredible amount of financial fear and guilt.

On that same morning as I got to my classes I made a decision and told my students that that would be my last Thursday teaching. I don't regret it one bit.

To be honest I have no idea of whether these events are in any way related, but this gives an idea of the present circumstances surrounding these two nights.

So, maybe, this is simply what it was: a wake-up call?

That was one of my first thoughts.

And then door bell... "Open the door... " to something new? Somebody? Yourself?

Could very well be.

 

[mada85]

And then door bell... "Open the door... " to something new? Somebody? Yourself?

In light of what you were saying yesterday about the profound effect of that homeopathic remedy (you know which one I mean), I think that Laura's on the right track.

Perhaps you haven't yet fully 'opened the door' to the new you that you described, and she is ringing on the bell?

 

[Gertrudes]

And then door bell... "Open the door... " to something new? Somebody? Yourself?

In light of what you were saying yesterday about the profound effect of that homeopathic remedy (you know which one I mean), I think that Laura's on the right track.

Perhaps you haven't yet fully 'opened the door' to the new you that you described, and she is ringing on the bell?

Could be, yes. I don't feel like I am the same person since my emotional outpour in May, that is for sure. I am also going through a lot of inner struggle, processing, and attempting to let go of old patterns that reflect so much who I have been and what I have been pursuing in this "ungodly" city that I am soon to leave behind, in contrast to trying to identify what really is important to me.

But then, who was I about to marry? Mrs. Tigersoap mentioned left and right brain, emotions and reason, and so on, but in the dream I didn't feel that I wanted to marry this person, I had made the commitment to him, but it no longer made sense to me. Maybe that person represented my old patterns?
Curious how the door bell rang so loud when I was about to decide what to do.

 

[Weller]

My couple cents is that this dream may represent an internal struggle with the upcoming changes in your life, a new “relationship” you are developing with a project or a place, not necessarily a person. The wedding started at the precise time you “finished work.” Is there some new project that will follow the actual work you just “finished,” where you question your level of emotional commitment or your ability to follow through? Perhaps the new business you mention – starting a business, without a doubt, is one of the most anxiety-ridden things you can do if you are giving up a “normal” job, it is definitely the level of commitment of a marriage – a long-term commitment to sustain yourself financially.

The person you were marrying in the dream may represent some element of yourself or your circumstances where you are questioning its value in what is to come…what kind of traits stand out when you think of this particular person; what is it about him or his life that may represent an element of yourself or your circumstances that you question at this time of change?

That you were in the basement/bathroom “getting ready” while people are waiting “upstairs” when this struggle was going on suggests to me this is related to some “base” or “gut” feeling that is tied to new upcoming commitments you are about to embark upon; that “upstairs” in your mind the commitment was made but the “gut” has not made it.

The doorbell seems to me to be an interruption or a “times up!” message, that anxiety is interrupting your working through the issue…there was in fact no one at the door. An overriding sense of urgency or anxiousness to move forward might be short-circuiting your processing through feelings of lack of commitment or doubt.

 

[SMM]

And then door bell... "Open the door... " to something new? Somebody? Yourself?

In light of what you were saying yesterday about the profound effect of that homeopathic remedy (you know which one I mean), I think that Laura's on the right track.

Perhaps you haven't yet fully 'opened the door' to the new you that you described, and she is ringing on the bell?

Could be, yes. I don't feel like I am the same person since my emotional outpour in May, that is for sure. I am also going through a lot of inner struggle, processing, and attempting to let go of old patterns that reflect so much who I have been and what I have been pursuing in this "ungodly" city that I am soon to leave behind, in contrast to trying to identify what really is important to me.

But then, who was I about to marry? Mrs. Tigersoap mentioned left and right brain, emotions and reason, and so on, but in the dream I didn't feel that I wanted to marry this person, I had made the commitment to him, but it no longer made sense to me. Maybe that person represented my old patterns?
Curious how the door bell rang so loud when I was about to decide what to do.

Hmm... take the following with a pinch of salt:

The doorbell ringing & a wedding may indicate significant change. Somewhat like a fork in the road, perhaps the dream is indicating that'd you'd set your mind on something in the past, which you may now be coming close to achieving, but not in the way you'd envisioned. There is another route or a detour present, symbolised by the doorbell, though you may still be trying to tailor the original plan (finishing work) to fit into a deeply invested in ideal to prevent acknowledging guilt or conceding - in a sense, going ahead with a wedding to an old friend (once endearing or lucrative) despite an instinct where there might not be a guarantee for what's on the other side of the door?

Holding onto patterns that go against feelings/values in times of change - where your perspective has been altered - or lack of initiative?
Making commitments out of guilt leading to missed opportunities or warning bells? Taking the wrap for a past deed & an opportunity presenting itself to change that?

Perhaps you feel a significant change in either direction is irrevocable, affecting more than one person/constituent, which could facilitate prevention from seeing what's behind the door (waking up upon hearing doorbell)?

Another possibility is over thinking or forcing yourself to make a decision.

 

[Gertrudes]

Many thanks Weller and SMM.

I have been pondering your words, and everyone's words for that matter, and given this further thought.
Could it be that I was getting married to something that I am trying to leave behind? In my dream I realised there and then that it was a mistake to marry this person, I simply did not want to entangle myself with him in a relationship that I felt to be out of convenience, and I wasn't even sure of what that "convenience" meant exactly...I felt that it had made sense to me in the past, hence the commitment, but that now I was somehow lying to myself by going ahead.

Now, just this week I have made the difficult decision to stop my classes before my house sale goes through and I am actually able to leave the country, and believe me, it took a lot of digging and fighting old patterns in order to let go of what I have been pursuing over the last 7 years: financial security over myself, and my life. I had to let go, for my own sake, and so I did.

After I did, it felt so right. It's like I no longer care. I just need time to find myself again instead of working until I drop dead. I don't care how I will manage if the house sale takes longer to process than I expect (these things can get veeery delayed!), and I don't want to sound all vague and obscure here, but more and more I feel that I will somehow manage because I have made the right decision. I feel much more at peace.

I think that maybe that marriage symbolised patterns and beliefs that I wanted to let go of, a life I had fully committed myself to, in a city I chose to live in for reasons that, at the time, I was oblivious to. I thought that I had moved here because I would get a better job, but the truth is that I always hated this city, and I was simply running away from my past. Then I built up my self employed career and chased financial security which, in all truth, we all need to a degree. However, I chased it over the wrong foundation, a foundation made of sand, made of my running away of problems I wasn't prepared to see.

Over these past years I have been doing some major internal "house cleaning", and that has become particularly intensified since joining the forum. I have peeled layers of feelings I had been oblivious to and, I suppose, this opened the door to seeing something I had been afraid to see, the root cause of my choices in having moved here and pursuing what I had been pursuing, in contrast to what a freer me really wanted.

This came as a very painful, almost overwhelming realization 5 months ago. At the time I felt crushed, and I am still letting go of patterns that keep coming to surface, while I get everything ready to finally make the move.

So yes, I think that perhaps that marriage symbolized those very beliefs I have clung onto so, so tightly, beliefs that if I didn't work until all of my energy had been sucked out of me, I wouldn't manage to survive, beliefs that if I didn't work like mad, I was worthless and, most of all, the fear of stopping to actually take care of myself, because then I would find out what was really going on, and I would have to face it all, the running away from the past and the fact that my choices had been so conditioned by that.

The doorbell seems to me to be an interruption or a “times up!” message, that anxiety is interrupting your working through the issue…there was in fact no one at the door

Could well be.

Holding onto patterns that go against feelings/values in times of change - where your perspective has been altered - or lack of initiative?
Making commitments out of guilt leading to missed opportunities or warning bells? Taking the wrap for a past deed & an opportunity presenting itself to change that?

I think so.

I can't say for sure that this is what's going on, and I'm still unsure about that door bell, but I'm sharing my current inner landscape and my thoughts about it.

Thank you all very much for helping me dig through this.

 

[RGG]

Wow! Great dream Gertrudes. I think people should always consider themselves very fortunate when presented with such wonderful symbols from their higher selves. It's been awhile for me so forgive me for relishing in yours for a bit. FWIW, I think that marriage you were about to go through was representative of the job that you just quit. You mentioned that it happened just as you were finishing work and that you didn't really want to go through with it. All of your thoughts and idea mentioned after in the thread corroborate this too I think. You were committing yourself to something you just didn't really want.

The part about the toilet is very interesting because I had a similar symbolic dream involving basements and plumbing. In my dream, I had just bought a very expensive home that was beautiful! but my dad being the practical engineering type went around inspecting it and found that the plumbing in the basement hadn't been installed properly and was flooding the whole basement and about to ruin the foundation. I was EXTREMELY angry after finding out. After some pondering, I thought that the house represented my body as is often the case in dreams and basement represented my lowest energy center. It was leaking, not properly installed and needed to be fixed. The fact that my father was there indicated to me that there was probably some negative imprinting that occurred during my childhood involving him that resulted in programming of guilt and anger in that energy center.

So yes, I think that perhaps that marriage symbolized those very beliefs I have clung onto so, so tightly, beliefs that if I didn't work until all of my energy had been sucked out of me, I wouldn't manage to survive, beliefs that if I didn't work like mad, I was worthless and, most of all, the fear of stopping to actually take care of myself, because then I would find out what was really going on, and I would have to face it all, the running away from the past and the fact that my choices had been so conditioned by that.

Your above comment plus the basement toilet imagery, plus your recent meditation involving Guilt, Guilt, Guilt points in this same direction. Maybe there is some negative imprinting in your lowest energy centers that need focused attention and healing in order to overcome your guilt and fear too.

As for the doorbell, I'm thinking it was more like a sign from your higher self that she came to you to deliver an important symbolic message timed perfectly as you were still sitting on that toilet. It probably happened again so that you wouldn't forget to keep searching until you figured everything out. Very cool!

Good luck sorting things out and best wishes with the move!! I have just moved myself and I'm also a teacher so I can definitely relate :) :) :)

 

[Gertrudes]

Thanks for your thoughts Rx :)

Yes, I think that we may be on the right track there. I'm still curious though, in a couple of months time I will re read this thread and will probably see much more clearly what that really was all about.

I should start a dream journal, it's always fascinating to relate what you dreamt and then months, even years down the road look back and see connections that weren't apparent at the time.

I hope that all went well with your move.

 

[Gaby]

I can't say for sure that this is what's going on, and I'm still unsure about that door bell, but I'm sharing my current inner landscape and my thoughts about it.

I'm not sure either, but wanted to share that I heard a door bell today. It was in a dreamy state right before waking up. In the end it made me wake up. No neighbor has that door bell and neither do I. Dreamoods guess is as good as mine:

_http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/dreamdictionarysearch.pl?method=exact&header=dreamsymbol&search=bell

Bells
To hear a bell in your dream represents a warning or a call to order. The ringing of the bell signals the beginning of something new. It may also be a way for your subconscious to prepare you for whatever is happening next

FWIW!

 

[cubbex]

I agree with your interpretation gertruedes, also I want to comment that is such a funny coincidence. Because last months i've been into this marriage thing, reading from several women about being in unhappy marriages, and that marriage is bad and that for some is good. The point is that, all this started when I began to become interested in one of my university's teacher situation.

I'm just assuming, but anyways, it looks kinda true. Thing is that this woman was gorgeous in all senses, but something started to break her down, she lost all of that brightness she had, and it all came down to the the date of her marriage, for what I know is all signs of depression. She had this idea of not relating to her students while she was their teacher, like going to drink with them or going to parties (god knows why she would like to do that, knowing that she's the "reading through all the evening type of person"). So it pretty much symbolizes a struggle I think lot of women go through. After she got married she had these signs of depression, or I assume it was because of depression, she gained weight, her eyes were puffy like if she was crying for a long time, and she started using make up to hide it, she was usually very friendly and now she was angry all the time with her students, she used to take care of her hair and now well, sometimes it looks as if she had combed with the pillow, and now she's breaking those rules of relating to a personal level with her students and is going to drink with them and god knows what. And the reason she may have got married was, because of money, it looks like her husband is no rich but it has some good business or something.

I believe in parallel realities even if it sounds kinda weird, maybe in this one you succeed to overcome those fears of financial security, while in other you couldn't and got married with the wrong person. And when I'm talking about this other reality, I mean about what would have happened if you chose another path different than this one.

 

[Gertrudes]

Thank you for your thoughts Psyche and Prometeo.

A couple of days ago and on my last day of work I had another dream, although this time I could barely remember it. I woke up in the middle of the night aware that I had just dreamt of something that I wanted to remember but couldn't bring back. The only thing that I could still recall after a few minutes, was an image of myself in a beautiful wedding dress, feeling extremely happy as I was getting married. In this dream I was getting married to my real life husband.

I also had two other dreams that seem connected, one happened prior to the first wedding dream, and the other happened today after the last wedding dream. They both involved empty cities.

On my first city dream I was travelling with my husband within this surreal landscape. It was somewhat cloudy and the ocean surrounded everywhere we traveled. The scenery was stunning.
Eventually we reached this narrow stretch of land with sea on either side. In this stretch there was a beautiful, majestic city made of white marble. Even though it was a shiny and futuristic brand new city, it had some Gothic tones to it in the height of very tall buildings and some other Gothic like, yet also contemporary, features. It was gorgeous.
The city was empty, it was still being finished so that it could be occupied in the future, after completion. On walking through it we found one building that seemed to have been squatted by a drug addict, we mentioned that once the city was completed and occupied squatters wouldn't be a problem.

Today I had another city dream. We were travelling again and the landscape was beautiful, though different from my first city dream. The first had ocean all around and this one was located in the desert.
We arrived to another gorgeous majestic city. This one wasn't futuristic nor was it to be inhabited in the future, on the contrary, it belonged to the past. It had been inhabited thousands of years ago although barely anything was in ruins. The city stood in the desert in all its magnificence and glory. It also had very tall buildings but without any Gothic tones, and it was of a shiny sand like yellow. I think that it was made of some sort of yellowish stone, although it also shone. I walked through the empty city marvelling at its beauty.

The future versus past and water versus desert (fire?) are interesting, but I don't know what to make of them.... A few months ago, in May, I had a dream that shook me to the core. I posted about it elsewhere and had a few interesting observations made by obyvatel that I will quote here:

The association of tap spout (metal?), water, fire, field (earth), at least 5 people (5 elements) , and Chinese medicine doctor brought to mind that according to the Chinese calendar, 2013 is the year of the black water snake - regarded as "fire under water". The theme is said to be connected to turnmoil (since fire and water do not mix well together) as well as transformation (snake sheds skin). The death images and the happiness at being freed could also relate to the theme of transformation.

fwiw

Could the city dreams be related to the above mentioned 5 elements? And to the marriages? At the moment I have no idea what to make of them.

 

[Gertrudes]

Ok, this is becoming weirder and weirder.

Tonight I dreamt, again, that I was getting married. This dream was similar to the one that opened this thread.
I was getting married to a real life distant cousin of mine whom I haven't seen in about 15 years, we were never close before then.

In the dream I was, once again, completely puzzled over the fact that I was getting married to him. I simply couldn't get my head around why I had made that decision, why had I decided to marry a person that I didn't want to marry and whom I barely knew?? I also kept wondering about why I hadn't stayed with T (my real life husband) whom I felt so happy with.

There was slightly less urgency in this dream in the sense that instead of arriving to my wedding almost late, I got there the day before to oversee the preparations. It was suppose to be this huge big thing and there were already plenty of people there, all guests really looking forward to the big event while I wanted nothing else but to put a stop to it.
Interestingly though, a couple of those guests are already dead in my real life, one of them I remember seeing in photos from my mothers' youth, she died before I was even born.

Now, here's where it gets interesting, if I was awaken from my first dream with a door bell that no one rang, today, in the middle of the night, both me and my husband woke up suddenly, startled by a very loud noise and our bed shaking. This happened exactly at the end of my dream and as I was pondering on what to do, as it did last time.
For a few seconds I thought that something huge was actually shaking the house.

It turns out that the source of it all was this little massage thingy I was given a few years ago. I must have used it only once on my shoulders since the only thing it does is vibrate, then put it inside my bedside table and just forgot about it. It has been there for years, and it has NEVER turned itself on by itself. Because our bedside tables are attached to the bed the bed vibrated as well, and the whole event happening in the middle of the night when everything is quiet made it sound even louder.

If that wasn't trying to get someone's attention then I don't know what else it was trying to do. The thing just turned itself on at moment in the dream I heard the imaginary doorbell ringing the first time I dreamt of getting married, only this time it was a real noise accompanied by vibration.

I don't know the meaning of all this, to be honest, but two things crossed my mind. The first one relates to the fact that I am going through a big life shift, I am getting nearer the completion of the sale of my house and to moving back to my home country. I am leaving a business I had fought for very hard behind and have recently started a new path studying to get a diploma in nutrition and functional medicine. So, over the past two weeks I have gone through a lot of inner turmoil, self discovery, and new beginnings. I am very happy with my recent choices, I feel more… complete and connected to myself, if that makes sense. Following this train of thought the dreams may simply relate to the fact that I am leaving a life behind and starting a new one.

The other thing that crossed my mind relates to this post I made a week ago. In the situation described I saw a spirit release practitioner who was clueless about what she was doing. I had an inkling of that in the beginning of our session but still allowed my own boundaries to be opened and my mind to be led by her in what escalated into a sad, stressful, embarrassing episode. That event really brought it home to me that I can say no, in fact, that I need to say no and have stronger boundaries concerning several aspects of my life. One of the reasons for this episode to have came to mind was a possible connection to having people in my dream that already dead in real life.

Still, I'm still not sure of what this is all about, but it intrigues me that this marriage theme began over a month ago accompanied by "alarm" bells that wake me up as if trying to get my attention. Perhaps they aren't trying to get my attention but there is simply a lot of energy involved in these latest decisions and changes which creates the "alarm effect"?

Thank you for reading, and any thoughts are welcomed.