Good-bye and good riddance

[Olesya]

I have no ides how short the life spam of this post will have before it is deleted so please read it soon. I see many good and kind hearted people here who want nothing more than to do the right thing. You are the ones that muss listen to your conscious.

I am listening to mine. I will miss the interactions that i have had with of the great minds here. Good luck to all of you. I know that the majority of the members here are very kind and were practicing STO before the catchy little phrase caught on.

Are you sure that is your conscious that you're listening to? In your post I hear your inner predator speaking. You seem to be particular to Castaneda's work, where the central point was exactly that – a predator's mind. That's why is so strongly recommended here on the Forum for All the newbies to read and really understand (!) the basic principals of working on yourself first. Please, think about that.

 

[Alana]

I have no ides how short the life spam of this post will have before it is deleted so please read it soon. I see many good and kind hearted people here who want nothing more than to do the right thing. You are the ones that muss listen to your conscious.

I am listening to mine. I will miss the interactions that i have had with of the great minds here. Good luck to all of you. I know that the majority of the members here are very kind and were practicing STO before the catchy little phrase caught on.

Are you sure that is your conscious that you're listening to? In your post I hear your inner predator speaking. You seem to be particular to Castaneda's work, where the central point was exactly that – a predator's mind.

Another central point was the importance of recognizing self-importance in oneself and getting rid of it.

Honestly, from this goodbye letter what hurts me the most are the grammatical/spelling errors.

Just from the little excerpt posted above:

[I have no ides how short the life spam of this post will have] {even with correcting the words the syntax is wrong} before it is deleted so please read it soon. I see many good and kind hearted people here who want nothing more than to do the right thing. You are the ones that muss listen to your conscious.

I am listening to mine. I will miss the interactions that i have had with of the great minds here. Good luck to all of you. I know that the majority of the members here are very kind and were practicing STO before the catchy little phrase caught on.

 

[luke wilson]

Blew hot and then went ice cold. The change was sudden.

I guess this is how 'entitled' people behave. One thing they hate, above all else, is a 'NO'.

"How dare you say no to me? Do you know who I am?"

There vision, is THE vision. They are the pioneers. It is like a nicely embedded program. Philanthropy is just a vehicle for personal accolades and glory for some of these sorts. They live to help those less than them, they love it. At dinner parties they talk about all their 'projects' and 'endeavours' to make the world a better place. Every now and again they love to parade there conquests in front of their friends,

"Oh look, this is someone who didn't have access to books, now look at him/her, thanks to me, he/she has gone to become a writer! In fact, he/she will be doing us the honors of reading for us his latest book"

The master servant relationship in place. Just like it was supposed to be.

I know, I am from africa, the continent is a magnet to these sorts. You can smell them a mile off. Always so eager to help but little do you know about the cost of it all. They role into your village in there fancy vehicles and get to work, overturning everything, caring very little about anything about where they are. All they want is to see there vision come real, to hell with the people, local customs and ways of doing things that have been in place in such communities, they are just an obstacle to be overcome. It's not about those they want to 'help'.

Then poof they go in a huff if they dare receive a 'NO' to any of there well thought out offers or if reality is not as 'simple' as there 'visions'. If possible, they will make sure you feel the pain for denying them the right to 'help' you or will lay the blame of failure firmly at your 'feet'.

Oh astrozombie, you follow a well laid out pattern. I dare say it is unique but I fear many have walked it before you and probably many will after. To bad this community is not so easily overrun.

 

[Menna]

Its ironic when someone says they are going to leave the forum but their actions are different. They post about leaving and reasons why they are leaving and then there are replies and then they enter into a dialog. IMO if you have made up your mind to leave or take a break then do so a lot can be gained and learned about yourself through just leaving or breaking without posting or entering into a discussion about leaving. Just leave and then sit and think about the emotions that follow feel them think why they are coming up I feel it is easier for someone to leave if they tell the forum whats wrong with the forum almost like justifying their decision to leave. Nothing in life is perfect when hundreds of people interact there wil be some putdowns or wrong comments that are off. If you think about it if this forum wasn't so close to perfection wasnt so helpful then people wouldnt be saying I am leaving and give reasons why and justify their leaving why do you need to justify leaving something you want to leave? Do you want to leave but keep on gaining something from the forum? what are you looking for by making a topic talking about how you are leaving? Do you need permission to leave?. There is a lot of information here that you cant get anywhere else if you have to sift through a few harsh comments or see someone else being put down IMO then so be it. Its the other persons free will to stand up for themselves with a reply. We are in a imperfect 3D existence (it can't be any other way) on a forum that is looking for hidden information and information beyond 3D its very unique and one of its kind with that being said its not perfect because its still under the laws of the universe on the internet with human emotion here on 3D. I think there is a bit of self importance that comes through when someone posts about how they say they are leaving IMO

 

[Lan8r]

Addendum to my previous post:

I am actually an example, as many others here, that we all have benefited by, and have been recipients of the donations made to the forum, et al. The SOTT page and this forum are here for us everyday. Laura's books are being written and distributed, and even donated when necessary. The sharing of knowledge and feedback by the well intentioned members is a gift. Not to mention the donation to others made by each of us when we purchase books recommended for further research (and the list is very long!). And that is before taking into consideration material/financial assistance that has been given, many times, by this group over the years. This is the true spirit, the definition of Giving.

I was not convinced that AZ really had the 'touted financial means', or ever intended to contribute to the 'individual needs' of the members here. But that's just me and I am often wrong.


Just want to add that I really appreciate this Ps:

P.s.: 96 posts in a month is somewhat overeager. The first principle of permaculture (i.e. designing complex, symbiotic systems as inspired by nature) is protracted, mindful observation. Perhaps sitting back and observing how the network operates would be a good step for you to take?

It reminds me that I need to practice mindful observation, every minute of everyday, in every circumstance.

 

[sarek]

Perhaps this is also an illustration on the very nature of esoteric practice. Its like they used to say in Gurdjieffs French academy 'ego has barely a right to exist in this place'
Thats a tough realisation for everyone. I know it was and still is for me, its a matter i have to do battle with every second. Its the kind of thing that separates the goats from the sheep. If that little I is denied, it will scream bloody murder.

 

[Laura]

If astrozombie didn’t have an agenda coming in, which very well might be the case, then seems that az might have reacted by splitting as related to the discussion etc in this thread - http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,31760.0.html

az went from willing to donate large sums of money (but with conditions) to the black and white thinking of naming the organizations and people here a cult when he didn’t get his way and he reacted. Also as for az’s proclamation of knowledge and similarities between what his experiences taught him etc there really aren’t examples or any substance to this in his posts.

edit added: Also possibly related to why he might have experienced splitting is a reaction to the responses sitting in the other thread.

Yes, this could very well be the case: a good example of splitting in action.

 

[l apprenti de forgeron]

I do not know if AZ has an agenda or is splitting, but suggesting that this path is a cult, repeating the same as those who want to end this experiment, is sufficiently poisonous.

While I understand that forum promotes A Work that follows the teaching of many great philosophers such as Gujedarion and others.

Perhaps by the intensity and brevity of his stay here, he/she started mixing some topics? In this case Gurdjieff and Caesarion...Now really, I think AZ would work better in a cult, where he/she can direct donations and be someone important in their structure.

 

[United Gnosis]

[Takes a deep breath]

Well, for the record, I haven't asked for any financial/material support from the forum, as I understood my patterns of economic limitation to be self-inflicted, but if Astrozombie's self-importance requires the ability to dictate exactly in which way his resources are meant to be used by the receptor or the "gift", then he might like to know that none of the QFS' recommended books are currently under my care, due to the aforementioned economic limitations that constrained me to PDFs of doubtful origin to be read on my 4 year old smartphone with a tiny screen, and that their physical presence would be very appreciated as I live on an urban permaculture initiative in Costa Rica that has a small communal bookshelf for people to inspire themselves with, which as you surely intuit would benefit greatly from having a balanced representation of 4th Way material.

[Wheezing, cough]

Are you a member of FOTCM? (In which case I would already have shipping information on file.) If not, you might consider joining. But in any case, we are happy to send books to those who need them, especially when they will be shared, so send your shipping info to Perceval via PM.

As I wrote my reply, I observed that it was somewhat if not overly tongue-in-cheek, yet after pausing for a moment I still felt and thought that this was what had to be said. Your answer, authentically and openly offering help made me feel unexpectedly relieved of a tension whose presence I was not previously aware of, making it now clearer to me that there was a discomfort associated with an unacknowledged desire to Ask, to send a message out for someone to pick up on.

I am grateful and honored by your offer, whatever results come out of it, and will contact Perceval as suggested. I am also reading the FOTCM statement of principles right now, as if the tree is to be judged by its fruits I can tell that I'd appreciate contributing to this one. Thank you.

 

[astrozombie]

I have to admit that I could not read past the first two pages of responses. As weird as this may sound, the understanding and continued support overwhelmed me emotionally. My rant was uncalled for and hard to forgive but I hope that you all can find it possible to forgive me.

Some of you are aware of a certain family problem that I was having and it came to a head the day that I wrote this post. When I become extremely irate at others (no one here), I have a tendency to alienate my self from the people that care about me. This is one of my worst programs.

I wrote this post in poor taste and I was viciously ugly. I teared up reading your responses because I could not believe that my juvenile behavior was not thrown in my face. This is a clear indication that you all are practicing what you preach.

If you all think that I have redeemable qualities in me and can look past this thread, I would love to become an active member again. If I have crossed a line that I can not return from then I understand.

If you have no problem with allowing me to become active again then I would really like to explain my motives for writing this thread as well as the behind the scene catalyst that brought it on.

Either way, I will respect your decision.

Please accept my sincerest apology.

 

[happyliza]

Astrozombie I was waiting to see if you replied, and hoped that you would, as I got the impression that your post was a bit rash and hastily written and of course, very emotional. I am glad that you had time to reflect and witness just how genuine folks here are on the forum.

We are all trying our best to take note and work on our emotional behaviours and it is far from easy. I too can let my emotions run away with me as well as be a prime candidate for splitting. I let my thoughts take over in a situation and they seem to always assume the worst about something until i can calm down and rationalize. Even then the emotions continually bring up the negative introject so it is a constant battle isot.

One thing I think would be a good idea - for me as well, is to not be tempted to post what you have written straight away. To take time to regroup your thoughts and emotions before you press the post button. Writing things down, as in Redirect is obviously the best way to handle such situations. By then coming back to it later, like countng to 10 before you reply to someone in a heated emotional moment can make the difference sometimes between being a bit more rational or saying something you later regret. I too need to take note of this advice!

Good that yo reconsidered and didn't leave. Where would you go from here anyway? Either way it is a good lesson and others can ultimately benefit from your post, especially where you admit to yourself and see in plain daylight that everything here was the opposite of what it appeared to be ie that you witnessed the proof now that people do genuinely care, that you are not alone - cos we are all trying to be the best we can be - TOGETHER.

Personally I do hope you will explain what your thinking was behind the comments, especially the part about 'cult', as this is a particularly incendiary comment for us as you may know from past experiences that Laura and the team have had to go through so many times expending energy that could be better focused on work that moves us forward.

I also think that many people use the work 'cult' as a throwaway comment purely because it is so controversial and that ultimately it is used to HURT. FWIW

 

[Tracy Anne]

I am very humbled by reading this thread. Good on you AZ for becoming more self aware, it has been interesting to see the other members in action challenging and guiding you too. Sorry I have not contributed, Im just a bit of an observer at present as Im new to this but Im learning fast! I have been guilty of splitting in the past and this is a big learning curve for me. I wish you well AZ.

 

[Sol Logos]

I have to admit that I could not read past the first two pages of responses.

Welcome back AZ, I can't speak for the forum but I'd say that humbly taking the time to read through all the thread, reflecting on it, putting aside whatever facade you might feel impelled to project and responding to some of the feedback will go a long way. Opening up a little about what's going on in you through that process too would not only be helpful to you but for others to reply more accurately as well as others to learn a lot from later on. Its actually a really good opportunity to learn a hell of a lot about you for you. Being humble through the process would demonstrate a great deal to the forum members and admin I'd say in a lot more ways than an apology if you get my meaning? Just as an exercise in self learning its well worth it.

 

[truth seeker]

If you all think that I have redeemable qualities in me and can look past this thread, I would love to become an active member again. If I have crossed a line that I can not return from then I understand.

You were never 'deactivated' as far as I understand it. The decision to stay or leave and close the door was up to you. That's one of the great things about this forum. While we don't put up with disrespectful behavior to maintain an atmosphere conducive to learning, the choice lies with the individual whether they want to be here or not.

If you have no problem with allowing me to become active again then I would really like to explain my motives for writing this thread as well as the behind the scene catalyst that brought it on.

I'd like to hear what you're willing to share. :)

 

[Joe]

If you all think that I have redeemable qualities in me and can look past this thread, I would love to become an active member again. If I have crossed a line that I can not return from then I understand.

If you have no problem with allowing me to become active again then I would really like to explain my motives for writing this thread as well as the behind the scene catalyst that brought it on.

Either way, I will respect your decision.

Please accept my sincerest apology.

Everyone deserves a second chance if they are sincere.