Good-bye and good riddance

[Nienna]

I have to admit that I could not read past the first two pages of responses.

Welcome back AZ, I can't speak for the forum but I'd say that humbly taking the time to read through all the thread [...]

I, too, think you need to read the rest of the thread, AZ. Learning about ourselves and our programs is what the Work is all about. You can't do that by shutting you eyes and just moving along.

 

[Lisa Guliani]

Imo, Astrozombie, you stand to potentially learn a great deal - about this forum and about yourself - by taking the time to read through the entire thread, as difficult as that might be - so I'm in agreement with those who encourage you in this regard. The only one who can stop you from learning here is you. The way I see it, it's not about 'chances' so much as it is about 'choices'.

 

[astrozombie]

Wow, just wow! Thank you all for your encouragement.

I have read the entire thread now and I will explain my motives (no excuses, just why I said what I said) as well as what was happening with my family that provoked me to lash out at everyone and everything. The only reason I didn't read the entire thread initially was because I felt that I deserved much worse criticism that I actually received and this triggered another one of my programs.

Right now, I am a little choked up though and need to get my emotions under control before I do.

Thanks again,

 

[genero81]

If you all think that I have redeemable qualities in me and can look past this thread, I would love to become an active member again. If I have crossed a line that I can not return from then I understand.

If you have no problem with allowing me to become active again then I would really like to explain my motives for writing this thread as well as the behind the scene catalyst that brought it on.

Either way, I will respect your decision.

Please accept my sincerest apology.

Everyone deserves a second chance if they are sincere.

Had a feeling you might be back. Threw a bit of a temper tantrum did we? I would suggest reading the splitting thread. And please do share. :)

 

[seek10]

Had a feeling you might be back. Threw a bit of a temper tantrum did we? I would suggest reading the splitting thread. And please do share. :)

I agree to this. The more ( truthfully) you share , more you bound to know your self better, if that is your aim. Welcome back :)

 

[Palinurus]

Wow, just wow! Thank you all for your encouragement.

I have read the entire thread now and I will explain my motives (no excuses, just why I said what I said) as well as what was happening with my family that provoked me to lash out at everyone and everything. The only reason I didn't read the entire thread initially was because I felt that I deserved much worse criticism that I actually received and this triggered another one of my programs.

Right now, I am a little choked up though and need to get my emotions under control before I do.

Thanks again,

I just noticed the new developments in this thread.

Welcome back, AZ, although you never really left as far as I know... :P You just had a bad patch in this recent part of your journey, so take all the time you need to regroup before continuing.

In what I've bolded you are demonstrating that you yourself are your severest critic -- as you should be, of course. Just don't overdo. It's not the harshness that counts for most but the lessons learned.

I'm looking forward to your continued participation and your eventual explanation.

 

[Buddy]

Wow, just wow! Thank you all for your encouragement.

I have read the entire thread now and I will explain my motives (no excuses, just why I said what I said) as well as what was happening with my family that provoked me to lash out at everyone and everything. The only reason I didn't read the entire thread initially was because I felt that I deserved much worse criticism that I actually received and this triggered another one of my programs.

Right now, I am a little choked up though and need to get my emotions under control before I do.

Thanks again,

I just noticed the new developments in this thread.

Welcome back, AZ, although you never really left as far as I know... :P You just had a bad patch in this recent part of your journey, so take all the time you need to regroup before continuing.

In what I've bolded you are demonstrating that you yourself are your severest critic -- as you should be, of course. Just don't overdo. It's not the harshness that counts for most but the lessons learned.

I'm looking forward to your continued participation and your eventual explanation.

Ditto, as I couldn't have expressed my own thoughts any better. :)

 

[l apprenti de forgeron]

Wow, just wow! Thank you all for your encouragement.

I have read the entire thread now and I will explain my motives (no excuses, just why I said what I said) as well as what was happening with my family that provoked me to lash out at everyone and everything. The only reason I didn't read the entire thread initially was because I felt that I deserved much worse criticism that I actually received and this triggered another one of my programs.

Right now, I am a little choked up though and need to get my emotions under control before I do.

Thanks again,

I just noticed the new developments in this thread.

Welcome back, AZ, although you never really left as far as I know... :P You just had a bad patch in this recent part of your journey, so take all the time you need to regroup before continuing.

In what I've bolded you are demonstrating that you yourself are your severest critic -- as you should be, of course. Just don't overdo. It's not the harshness that counts for most but the lessons learned.

I'm looking forward to your continued participation and your eventual explanation.

Ditto, as I couldn't have expressed my own thoughts any better. :)

I agree!. Welcome back AZ. What a good thing that the group give you a second chance and also what a good thing you can allow yourself to take it.

 

[Richs]

Wow, just wow! Thank you all for your encouragement.

I have read the entire thread now and I will explain my motives (no excuses, just why I said what I said) as well as what was happening with my family that provoked me to lash out at everyone and everything. The only reason I didn't read the entire thread initially was because I felt that I deserved much worse criticism that I actually received and this triggered another one of my programs.

Right now, I am a little choked up though and need to get my emotions under control before I do.

Thanks again,

Hi AZ.
Yeah, what you have been and are now going through is certainly something that gets one kinda choked up!

If you have not yet done so, it might be a good time to begin with the Eiriu Eolas program (which we call EE for short). It really does wonders for stress and for overall general health, and especially for emotional healing! You can access it at http://eiriu-eolas.org/ where you can use the free online version, but it is better to get the DVD/CD set so you can use it at any time.

 

[LMJ]

Excellent learning thread, thank you everyone!!! I'm so thankful that you guys and gals are here!!! We really do need each other!

 

[astrozombie]

Okay here goes.

I was adopted into a very wealthy family and didn't find this out until I was 20 years old. I always felt different but this was just an intuit thing as all my brothers and sister were treated the same as I. That is to say, there was little to no time for emotional support because there was always work, work , work.

My response to this news was to find my birth parents and change my name to theirs. This really pissed off my "father" and that has placed our relationship on shaky ground, to put it mildly.

He was even more pissed off to find out that his father, my grandfather and a man that I loved beyond words, did not write me out of his will. In fact, I received more than anyone else.

Then there is the side of me that had to be successful in my own right and get out from the large shadow of my "father". This influences me almost to the point of domination. I recognize that this is harmful to me but it rears it's ugly head from time to time and gets the best of me.

In one of my other threads, I wrote about how I was going to have a dinner with my "father" and work everything out. I was looking forward to this but as usual, business just didn't allow for it to happen.

That was when I wrote this thread. My typos and other grammar mistakes are due to the tears that were streaming and my haste in general. I only point this out because it was pointed out.

I know this forum can't be bought. That was not my intentions. I did not want anybody's personal info as Laura suggested. Reading through the many posts, I became aware of how much help some people needed and figured that I was in a good position financially to help.

And I am certainly no conman and I'm not working with others.

Thanks, there is more and it will come out as well.

 

[Palinurus]

Thanks, there is more and it will come out as well.

Thank you for sharing this part of your story for starters, AZ.

I think most of us will want to wait with commenting until you have completed what you have to say in this respect. I for one most certainly will refrain for now.

Nevertheless, I want you to know how much I appreciate your efforts in cleaning up your act, so to speak.

Hope this helps a bit.

 

[astrozombie]

Oh one quick thing. Someone pointed out that I should do a name change from AZ. I love that name because it was a scary movie from my childhood.

The astrozombies gave the CIA hell literally and this is my way at fighting back at the powers that be. :P

 

[MakeEmTalk]

..................this is my way at fighting back at the powers that be. :P

By potentially undermining your credibility with a name that's out of sorts with the nature of the board?

 

[combsbt]

I've been following this thread and I don't have much to add as others have offered sufficient input IMO.

However as far as the username thing goes:

Oh one quick thing. Someone pointed out that I should do a name change from AZ. I love that name because it was a scary movie from my childhood.

The astrozombies gave the CIA hell literally and this is my way at fighting back at the powers that be. :P

I don't think anybody suggested that you change the name, just that it had "zombie" in it and perhaps that was indicative of a somewhat mindless state? If it means something to you and is just a reference to a movie I don't see any reason to change it.

..................this is my way at fighting back at the powers that be. :P

By potentially undermining your credibility with a name that's out of sorts with the nature of the board?

I don't really think that having the username "astrozombie" would undermine someones credibility? I'm fairly certain that would be a bit of a rash judgement to make on someone (basing things on username) especially for this forum.

Usernames can have an effect on people's perceptions but I wouldn't base too much off of it. Without knowing the intentions behind their choice, they can be misinterpreted easily. Hell, I (and others) misread "Ailén" as "Alien" for a long time, haha. Even the name "MakeEmTalk" could be seen as "out of sorts with the nature of the board" if you consider the possible violation of free-will.