I have been homeless on multiple occasions in the last 6 years,the result of defalcation within my narcissistic and very sick family of origin and a host of outside characters equally as stuppored. This has occurred in the American South, the Bible Belt ; I am sharing this experience for the benefit of others who may find themselves now ,or in the near future, in that same frightening circumstance.
The main issue I faced initially was escaping violence from a violent psychopath who had "infiltrated" the family and heavily influenced a sibling ( it was all about money); there were repeated assaults and then death threats to me. Each time , I escaped with NO money, NO credit cards, NO vehicle, NO phone,NO local ID, NO "friends", nothing but what I was wearing and could quickly pack in 2 backpacks, a briefcase, a rolling overhead stow suitcase, and 1 file box. Twice I was injured from the assaults and couldn't even wear a shoe on my right foot for 8 months; wore a strap on "boot" instead. I was 2000 miles from my homebase and even had the local thugs with guns and badges (police, sheriff)used
against me by the perpetrators, so I had warrants for NON PAYMENT of fines assessed, also. For the sake of shortening the horror story, the entire situation with the armed thugs called "cops", was completely illegal and unconstitutional and it complicated the escape situation immensely. Now, let's throw in the Deer-In-The-Headlights grief of my Mom dying of unexpected cancer, losing 2 siblings and their children and spouses to this freak and other things , and it well describes the challenges I faced emotionally, intellectually, physically, financially
before I was homeless.
I turned to a local Domestic Violence/Abuse agency and was able to stay at a "safe house" for women for a short time, about 4 days. In this rural area there is no privacy,the woman running that particular private Christian based program, I'll call her Mary, was very familiar with the "interloper" , her family of -known - murderers, and of the very real danger I was in from her and them. The "them" also includes deep ties to the "cops", wouldn't ya know. Mary helped me get out of the rural area to a Metro Area of about 400,000 people, where she placed me in the care of another , much larger agency with the same mission. This Metro one was privately and publicly funded, it was secure, and it was intended to be "anonymous" within its location , and everybody from this State knows exactly where it is. So much for being safe....
Now, here's the part that is critical to know for others , BEFORE you open your mouth about anything to these staffers, or to any other person, in these places. You cannot have any warrants, you should have at least a part-time job, do not tell them you are educated or a professional, have local ID and a copy of your Birth Certificate, as well-my
passport and out of state ID made me highly suspect to them. Do not tell them the truth if it resembles any of the things about my truth as described above, they will not believe you and you will be "placed" elsewhere. Go along with whatever "classes" and schedule they prescribe for you, non-participation or questioning of the content or need for these is not allowed. Do NOT give them
any emergency contact info, they will call them and use what is said against you in any and all manner-yes, they will abuse you with it, too. Do not speak much at all, the less you say the better; they assume that you are lying anyway.
There is also a prevalence of diseases like Hep C , TB, bedbugs and other creatures that infest the body and God knows what else, so be very careful about physical contact with others. If you smoke, you better have some or get used to rolling your own from recovered butts; you may have to get creative with finding "papers" to do this. Cigs are a premium here, these poor women were begging from strangers for money and even engaged in prostiution, exchanged oral sex
for a single cigarette!! You will not be able to smoke once they "lock down" for the night, if you get caught, you outta there. In fact there are a vast number of rules and stipulations and they ARE and WILL BE used against you if they choose to do it. Don't break a single one of them, and don't "tell your story" to ANY of the other residents, that is a favorite weapon of the staffers; using one against the other for information.
In my case , I was operating under a severe desire to get out of the geographic area and return to my home area 2000 miles away. The "normalcy bias" was driving me, along with the fact that my precious little dog had been taken hostage and was being abused by the freaks who hurt me; I wanted him back and was additionally traumatized every second with the knowledge that my Mom's dog had been killed by the freaks' dogs only a year prior. The only way to do that was to get out of there ASAP...NO PETS in any of these places. So, forget "normal". Forget any financial help of any kind; they made me beg and plead for 5 bus tokens per week to find a "job". That's only 2.5 round trips anywhere, yet you are to have a job.. also, ASAP. I was told that "Bus Tokens are a privilege, not a guarantee",so how do I schedule my time effectively with this transportation uncertainty ? You don't.
In short, I would have been better off had I just dropped all of that agenda to be "normal" and slept outside in a rural area and built a little shelter for myself. I will tell you that if the Police know you are homeless or a resident of a shelter, you will be watched and harassed. Forget alcohol and even smoking cigs, these activites are for "normal" people, and you aren't- as far as they are concerned. It helps a little if you are in a DV shelter, but not much; it's not OK for you to indulge in anything that "normal" people do,
including and especially-contemplative time and solitary study. You are to be engaged with their agenda, not yours.
Let me run down my demographic so that you will also avoid defining yourself to them in this way: Female, White, 48, no children, no spouse/SO, college educated , advanced degree, early retirement professional, victim of Police harassment/violence, from upper social-economic cohort.
Instead, I would have been better off saying I was , "just out of a long term relationship" where I was "contributing as a homemaker and/or a homebased assistant to my professional spouse/SO; No children, he didn't want any". None of that is true in my case, but I saw how that was acceptable and desirable for the staffers in other cases, and they even helped those desirable others get out of the state-and to a person ,those desirables were not "white". Keep in mind that if you are a white single man or woman without children, and are "middle aged" you outta luck for Govt programs. Gotta have kids for almost all of it, until you can draw SS at 67; SS Disability is rigged in this area to those who are related or of a certain race, so forget that, too. Section 8 housing subsidies are available on a 1 year waiting list , minimum and you probably will not qualify if you don't have kids, and are less than 52. I also saw a few of them literally go out and find street drugs, which they do not usually use, ingest them and go to the ER claiming "addiction" while high on this sh*t. These ones were given space in "residential programs" for addiction ranging from 30 days to 1 year.
Food and Clothing are usually available in these places in grotesque proportions relative to the opportunity to escape your situation anytime soon. Get some nice, durable clothing and SHOES, SHOES,SHOES. You will not be able to purchase shoes, and shoes are what you will need; shoes are also in short supply at the shelters relative to other clothing. Gotta be versatile and durable, and you can only carry so many pairs in your stuff. Try getting anywhere without shoes, or getting any "job" either. Also, get food stamps ASAP and a welfare phone-forget "normal". You can purchase organics, trade for cash at 50 cents/Dollar with the food stamps;phone you must have to make inquiry of any kind, or to get a"job". You must have an address to get all, so while you can, use the shelter for this one thing- an address.. it's vital to have at least the first two things; EBT and Phone. These folks don't like you using the computer either, especially if it's your own laptop. Library, library, library... of course, the Library folks will know you are homeless and that is troublesome , too because they will question you about the address you are using for your Library Card , which you need so that you can have access to the Public Access computer area and
the network key.
There is much, much more that I can share as precautionary information and I will , time permitting. Suffice to say, this should be the
last option if you find yourself homeless. Salvation Army and the like are much, much too dangerous for single WOMEN and FILTHY to boot; don't even think about it. Basically, if they mention "Christ" or use it in their name....
run, fast and don't look back because they likely will send someone after you..like the Police, if you disagree with them in anyway about anything. God forbid one of these folks makes the lay diagnosis that you are "mentally ill". Don't talk to them about anything, because they will attempt to do so.
I will add more as I am able, but I hope this cursory amount of information will help someone who may be suffering in this situation. This is not conjecture, this is what I survived and this what I KNOW is true.
-LjRoxArk
