Hope, fear and the future

[Divide by Zero]

Just yesterday, I used it again for sadness and disappointment. I'll admit that attempting to feel those two subtle feelings was more difficult to get in touch with. The sensations within my body were so lethargic, almost deadened, that it was hard to FEEL anything at all. But the point really is to FOCUS and to CONCENTRATE on feeling any sensations at all. And by struggling to focus and concentrate, I could not keep boomeranging back into my thoughts which are usually running through my mind when I'm emotionally upset

The EFFORT required to focus and concentrate on just feeling the feelings or emotions takes every ounce of my determination and discipline just to refrain and refuse to snap back into my thoughts. And the instant my focus shifts back to my thoughts, I have to struggle to bring my concentration back to focusing on feeling my emotions — which, for me, has translated into feeling physical sensations within my body. So I focus on those physical sensations and concentrate on experiencing those sensations.

I kind of feel like those exercises work better on certain types. G says there is man 1 (physical) man 2 (emotional) man 3 (intellectual). It seems like it's more intellectual. Until those types were clarified a while back, I always thought I was man 3, because I think a lot. But I realized I was man 2- emotions are what help me do extraordinary things in everyday life. If my emotions are not in sync, no matter how much thinking or logic- I will not have the energy to do so.

As I wrongly phrased my comments as in general (as you stated we're all different), the emotions and feelings in the body come out immediately. I feel tense and stressed and tired (and foxx I will look into the fungal treatments). But, through my relatively short life- I realized that this is exactly what stopped me from drinking the "New Age Kool-Aid" or Icke/Alex Jones-Aid. I'll be a bit egotistical here and say that, if this feeling that made me not able to conform to those beliefs was correct, why should I mute them now? So, here I am, trying to know WHY/HOW things work. In fact, the times when I was able to stop this fire of anger, I was able to put myself into situations that ended up not working out. Maybe I trust my feelings too much, but history show me that despite being painful, they have worked out economically (avoided investing the bubble that was feel-good), job wise (escaped a white collar career that promises rewards as a carrot on a stick), and personally (I believe in love and openess, despite being <almost?> cheated on twice- and it wasn't until recently that the anger to my ex- I was able to untie that gordian knot of pity).

Argh, I re read that and feel like I'm blabbing that I have it all together. No, I don't. I just am saying that these feelings that scream to me have been very useful, even looking at it in hindsight- and the times when I was able to "lower the volume" were actually times when I ended up being sucked into illusion. So, yeah, perhaps they get reinforced because they have been very accurate in my life? Maybe the only belief I have deep down is that I trust my own senses and cannot dissasociate from them easily? I don't know and sometimes it makes me feel jealous because despite the "gains", it isn't FUN or HAPPY or whatever we're supposed to be feeling in life. In thinking about Archetypes and the heroes, I think I relate most to those that fought until they died. Despite that, I have rarely got into any physical fights. Tom Petty's song "I Won't Back Down" is one that sings deep to me:
http://www.metrolyrics.com/i-wont-back-down-lyrics-tom-petty.html

I even see it at work, where the managers/workers who are fighting against the decay of the department being outsourced take me in as family. I'm an outsider, recent hire from another agency and they trust me??? I feel blessed there too!


Today I started to face another common anger of society - ignorance. Just my commute home brings up anger because there are people who drive like nobody else exists on the road.
I'm reminded of a visit to the Chateau where Laura explained at how she gets annoyed at stupid drivers, to the dismay of some people. I appreciated her being honest about it, because honestly, to make me feel ok with insanity on the road for example would require me being insane. Maybe I am making a loop here, but I'm reminded of an article that was on Sott that explained how some people flourish in positive environments, but suffer much more in chaotic ones. That, I can relate too. I can only guess that the many years of Laura having to play nice in a chaotic one took a toll on her. She had to do it though, because of a higher purpose- her children!

This anger which would normally make me complain changed to something else: A dream of a world where people don't run on dumb autopilot and cause trouble for those around them . On the macro scale of this issue, the authoritarian followers that defend these psychopaths and dismiss/put down those who bring up honest questions and concerns. I still feel like its an uphill or losing battle. I know that logically speaking, this is the way of the world, but how much I dream of being in a society where people are conscious and responsible, not these robotic zombies straight out of the movie "Idiocracy". Sigh, why won't I accept it, why do I still get mad?

Does any of this make any sense to you?

It makes sense, but I can't apply it. I HAVE to deal with city life, and I lose patience quick as soon as I have to be protective for my own life, because I am not buddha or whoever. I don't live in a relaxed environment. I can be patient and calm, like the other week when Police pulled me over for being white in a black projects area (which I drive through to/from work).

Those same people who we pity on some level are in fact servants of STS indirectly. And as the C's said, no choice is a choice for STS. I see there is some part of me that sees a battle looming or already happening. As Morpheus told Neo in the simulation "Morpheus: The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you're inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it. "

I kind of lie in another step, I gave up trying to help people. I would like to fight for something and die for it, but that's not practical nor smart. That is one emotional thing that I can apply the technique to, because it is more clear cut for me than a general anger

This is where some part of me sees usefulness in anger, because like you trying to be saintly in the past, dissapointment happens when those who you mean well for end up using or selling you out for it. Is that not the honest truth, that we are really in this dire situation? Or am I blowing it up? I mean, even at work, if I don't have that vigilance, I can have someone who sees me as weak "sell me out" for their own gain. It's like I've been relearning on what the wisdom of animals show. We have feral cats at work. They are mostly cooperative, but sometimes they fight to establish boundaries. In this world, we need to establish boundaries, as Gabor Mate explained- those who are always "yes" people end up poisoning themselves. But it's tiring and lonely to live in this wicked game. For the cats, that is their aim, their wisdom to survive. But why as "conscious" humans, do we run these programs and then enforce the STS of it by justifying it? Maybe I'm just going crazy, or maybe this is in fact a karmic lesson? In 30 years among the dead, we see how people's traumas and beliefs end up causing them to repeat things. Maybe for me, I need to stay angry in order to not loop back into this game. I'm reminded of my past life revealed by Heather and Patrick. She said I had the root chakra blocked and later on in the session- one past life came out. A man who was in some group who was trying to fight for truth, ending up being killed in the inquisition by those same people he was trying to save. And here I am again, stupid thinking that people deserve better- but in reality they can't even see past their nose or bank accounts?!!!

OK DBZ. Here's the deal as far as I can see. This betrayal thing is not just about you being betrayed by what you now realize was your mis-placed trust and faith in others — who then betrayed that faith and trust. There's also the next step of you betraying others. And after that step, there's the final step of you betraying yourself. Once you work through all those steps, you will be free of all the long line of past betrayals lodged in your subconscious memory banks. Doesn't mean you can't or won't feel betrayed in the future. Only means that any future betrayals won't have all this past betrayal emotional charge piggy-backing onto any present or future betrayals. And what's the good of that you may well ask? And my answer is that this is already a long enough post, so I'm going to stop right here. We can come back to that another time if you wish.

Thank you for hanging in there and going the full nine yards and being real with all of us and struggling to handle this issue. It's not easy. But you're still committed to working it out. And that takes lots of courage and fortitude and just plain effort. And courage, fortitude, commitment, and effort are just some of the character traits of most heroes I've ever heard of. So what does that tell you? And besides, your own efforts encourage all of us to also make efforts as well. And that's a good thing from my perspective. So Mahalo. :)

I'm upset also that despite Anne's inhuman "strength" and "resolve"- people were not able to complain about her. Sheesh, I saw things that bothered me about her, primarily on how she was so good at countering anything anyone said. I dated/lived with a very smart women like that who until to these past few months was able to twist any "stupid emotional" annoyance I had with things into my own issue. It's sick and I kind of feel like this childish need to say, I TOLD YOU SO! Because even before the event, I had these feelings about her techniques and for some reason it was taboo to talk about it. It had to come to the point that Anne pestered the Chateau where their patience was lost in order to take away her holy powers and be able to criticize her. And here I am with my lofty intellectualism, open to any and all criticisim, OSIT. So what does that say about us? On any level we are susceptible to being fools when it comes to those who are so skilled at hiding themselves. It sickens me that had she still been here, I would not be able to post all of these things that might bother me, because she is perfect and would have a field day with pointing out how much I don't get it or what not. It's fine at work when I have to accept what a boss says- they are a boss by fiat. But, I am glad that this developed in this way because it is much more dynamic and hopefully it is not just me feeding on attention. I don't think so because I honestly am tired of being tired!


Joe-
I see it that way too, as if we are evolving on another level- or I hope so.

But when it comes to the authority figures, we are indirectly FORCED to follow based on the group consensus. She was well respected and feared. I felt like she must have known something more, because despite her being a jerk, she was able to get respect. I hate myself for not risking my own status in order to question her 'authoritah'. I see in hindsight, I had no status to lose. Had I been booted from the group in challenging her, I could have learned more. We all could have learned more. But we were all cowards, like society is, in protecting the truly insane who cannot doubt itself. Sheesh, I'm on another ego trip here- because I DO doubt myself and despite my strong emotions, can and will apologize for wrongs done, even if I felt it was right! Who the hell is she to do what she did and then go and find more people to blame? Why did we defend her because of her hurt in the past? A new memory, me struggling to keep 90% in school, mom dissapointed at my 85% test grade only to praise the neighbor friends for getting a measly 65% to pass. Sheesh, I'm so tired of people getting excused for things, and then I feel bad for my own drawbacks. How twisted is that- their incompetence and pity games which are obvious (yes Anart was skilled), and I can't even give myself a break for my own doubts and disappointments. Argh, this society makes me nauseous . Tell me why we want to stay in 3d? Tell me why we should even try to change the same system that is the status quo?

Anart was so skilled at twisting things to make anyone look like a fool. How would you stand up to that if you were a non-moderator? It only took a higher authority to shut down her reign of intimidation. Had I had the "balls" to stand up for what I feel/think, I don't think I would be here anymore. Maybe that is exactly what Putin is going through. But in hindsight, maybe I should have just give it to her those many times she exhibited her pseudo-righteousness. I don't mean this to attack the forum, I love you guys, but I can't stand when I feel like my back is up against the wall and I have to make these compromises. I could only theorize that 4d does not require such compromises, but that doesn't make it easier but I would guess that the choice would be less cloudy than it is in this world of rules built on rules. It reminds me of the C's talking about 4d having an "even playing field".

Oh and thank you Joe and Niall for confirming my feeling about Trump. A few years ago I was saying how it doesn't matter whether Gore or Bush wins. I felt like a freaking outcast at the time. Now, I feel at home... yeah, we need someone stupid or crazy in order to wake up the few people who have some feeling about things being wrong!


Richard-

I posted something in the other thread about hidden beliefs in response to 13TT's insights into emotions which you might appreciate as you worked in the technical/mechanical field.

Thread post link to get context: https://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,41952.msg655811.html#msg655811

The emotions as clouds and the importance of clouds not being stuck reminds me of electrical/mechanical controls (like for a fancy motor or pump).
I'll try to make it understandable, in the process I might destroy some of the actual technical logic, forgive me but the idea is pertinent.
These emotions are like sensor data. The programming logic of the control does not do well if there is a constant "out of range" or "alert" signal and it cannot change the pump or motor to get out of that extreme and get to it's range (or "aim").
Some controllers are not just up and down, but can also mathematically accelerate the change to push our of that "funky" situation, or be able to tell that something else is wrong.

So, it seems like with an aim, we can properly calibrate our sensors instead of numbing that sensor input as if it doesn't matter!

 

[13 Twirling Triskeles]

Yes. I know what you mean. For myself, if I can't just sit with my feelings and just FEEL them, then I HAVE to express them.

You don't actually HAVE to express them.

Richard S: Yes, you're absolutely correct. I was referring to my PAST behavior — not how I think or operate now. Ever since I discovered the exercise in that thread "Depression as a Stepping Stone (to Soul Growth)", I've been using it in order to help me fuse a Magnetic Center using the emotions in my Lower Emotional Center rather than 'expressing' them as I used to do.

Sorry for the mis-understanding and thanks for pointing that out to me. :)

I think the point of that Soul Growth exercise is to fuse our Magnetic Center which cannot happen if we start expressing our emotions & feelings. What I understood by that thread was that the way to fuse the Magnetic Center was to focus on feeling the feelings rather than expressing them.

That makes more sense.

The EFFORT required to focus and concentrate on just feeling the feelings or emotions takes every ounce of my determination and discipline just to refrain and refuse to snap back into my thoughts.

What would be the purpose of putting such terrific effort into "just feeling the feelings or emotions"? None of us need to put any effort into feeling our emotions. They just arise at the appropriate time.

Have you ever done that exercise yourself? When you were feeling rage or extremely offended by the deeds or mis-deeds of others? Or feeing any other negative emotion? Well, if you have done so, then my hat is off to you that you were able to so easily concentrate and focus on simply feeling your emotions and that your own Lower Intellectual Center did not attempt to usurp your Lower Emotional Center emotions by grabbing your attention and focus from feeling your emotions into thinking thoughts about how or why you were feeling what you felt.

I, on the other hand, DID have to exert a lot of effort in order to bring my attention and focus back to simply feeling my emotions without my Lower Intellectual Center attempting to take over by continually coming up with thoughts to justify or rationalize what I was feeling. It was a struggle for me. That it paid off and was worth the effort to do so is my testament to the power of using this method to achieve a separation from all those Little i's that my Lower Intellectual Center is plagued by and which continually attempt to interrupt and de-rail the process of feeling the emotions — otherwise known as Usurping.

I am genuinely very happy for you that your Intellectual Center seems to know its place and does not usurp your Emotional Center. That must be wonderful. :) I AIM for that ability as well. But it is requiring practice for me because I am overcoming some very bad habits. It's quite an achievement for me that I was able to do this exercise and actually experience the very positive results that were claimed would happen.

And by doing that, I can get free of my mind and free from my enturbulating thoughts and internal arguing. And once I'm out of my mind, I'm FREE. Because it's the mind that holds our emotions and feelings hostage.

I don't really think being "out of my mind" is something to be sought after.

LOL :) Out-of-my-mind is just a phrase I use. The full phrase is — "Get out of your mind and come to your senses." It doesn't mean what you seem to think it means. Again, I have mis-stated the situation. Being out-of-my-mind means my mind is no longer held hostage by the Little i's — who seem to want to dominate my mental space by expressing all their concerns and viewpoints and attitudes. When I used that term I was equating it to restoring my mind to its natural quiet and peaceful state — so that I can actually THINK correctly rather than being a captive audience to all those Little i's who believe that THEY are thinking any real thoughts.

But you're quite right. Being 'out-of-my-mind' does sound like something we would wish to avoid. It sounds more like being crazy. I think I should avoid using that term from now on. Thanks for the heads-up. :)

So by making the effort to focus and concentrate on my feelings gets me out of my mind and out of my thoughts.

How is this beneficial to one's learning process and ability to see reality as it actually is?

Well, if my Observer I has separated and created enough distance from all those Little i's, how is it NOT beneficial to one's learning process and ability to see reality as it actually is? It is impossible for the Little i's to see reality as it actually is. At least that is so in my own experience. Maybe other people have Little i's which can do so.

I think I've created a mis-understanding here — one which I've created by mis-using the following 4 words — Mind, Thoughts, Thinking, and Feeling.

I may be under a mis-apprehension that that there are different methods or ways of "Thinking". At least that is what I've observed within my own mind. You probably recall Laura saying, "What makes you think you can think with the way you think?" I understood that to mean that there are ways to think that DO solve problems, and there are ways to think that produce confusion and trap us in thought loops. Would not 'thinking with a hammer' be one illustration of a method of thinking that is actually useful for us to engage in? I haven't found it possible to think-with-a-hammer when the only so-called thinking I'm doing is being done by a bunch of Little i's. When the Real I is thinking, then thinking with a hammer is possible. OSIT LOL

I've created another mis-understanding here as well. If you've read that exercise, you will see, that at a certain point, Real Thinking does happen. It's a process - stages and steps. There are times during the process when I need to not think — because that type of thinking is just my Little i's attempting to de-rail me from actually feeling my emotions. Then there's a stage or step that organically occurs after feeling the emotions without allowing the Lower Intellectual Center to Usurp the Lower Emotional Center. At that point, a certain type of thought does arise. But at that stage, thoughts are NOT the thoughts of the Little i's. Once I allow myself to feel the emotions, the Lower Emotional Center begins to vibrate so fast, it creates an opening for the Higher Emotional Center to flow its energy into the Lower Emotional Center. As that occurs, then new thoughts arise which are more like realizations — which then allow me to SEE and connect the dots so that I can see the basis or foundation upon which that particular negative emotion was first built.

And this is what I mean by getting out of my mind and coming to my senses. When all that's going on inside my mind is a series of thoughts voiced by a bunch of Little i's, it's a relief to stop listening to them and listen instead to what my body is feeling sensation-wise.

Is this not similar to meditation and focusing on the breathing exercises rather than being caught up with all the monkey-mind chatter of all those Little i's? Which, in turn, clears the mental space? Which in turn feels to me at least like being freed from the prison that my minds becomes when it is being occupied by all those Little i's taking over my mind Space?

Does any of this make any sense to you?

There has been a lot of confusion about the role our emotions play, not only in life in general but in relation to the Work.

It should be understood that our emotions are essentially another source of information... 'data' which informs us about the world around us that our Intellectual Center can not be aware of because our intellect itself does not have the ability to 'feel' anything. So, the Emotional Center 'informs' the Intellectual Center as to how it feels about something and this, in conjunction with the Intellectual Center, enables a more complete understanding of whatever is being considered than either the intellect or the emotions working alone.

When either of the Centers is usurping the process, whether it is the Emotional or the Intellectual, there is no balanced assessment possible which leads to all sorts of problems. The Moving Center and the Sexual Center also tend to run amok when all these things are not equally developed and in balance and working in unison.

When the Intellectual Center is basically running things there is no emotion there to help direct the thinking and help us to come to a proper conclusion, and this often leads to faulty ideas and actions. Even worse is when the Emotional Center is in charge because when it totally overrides the logical thinking process it creates tremendous mental havoc. And, when it is habitual and mostly constant, there can be little or no peace in our psyche. I'm not sure if there is any data on this, but it seems to me that most of the pain and strife in people's life is caused by the emotions running wild and not being used simply as 'information input' as they should.

How can this be fixed? As far as I can see, the only way to remedy the situation for any of us is through the Work. It works if You Work. It is agreed by just about everyone who is or has done this Work that it is probably the most difficult and often painful thing they have ever done. However, this 'pain' is Conscious Suffering rather than the unconscious suffering which many people constantly go through and can not ever seem to overcome and find peace and tranquility.

And there you have it exactly. :) What you've written makes total sense to me. As to your last paragraph, I see this exercise IS doing the Work. And it IS Conscious Suffering because we are choosing to do it. But the rewards were precisely what that exercise predicted they would be. The flooding of joy into the Lower Emotional Center from the Higher Emotional Center was exactly what I experienced by doing this exercise. And not once, but several times. And each time produced the same results. So, as far as I can see, I must be doing it correctly. Or not?

But it's obvious that I am definitely NOT explaining the process or procedures correctly. And that I am using words and phrases that are triggering questions — which are good. I am now more concerned that because of my poor explanations, phrasing, and words, that others will view that exercise with prejudice or at least have more doubts or hesitation about trying it out. I think it may be one of those things where you just have to try it yourself and experience the results yourself in order to comprehend the power and benefits of doing it.

So I totally apologize if I have in anyway mis-led anyone by my reports about it.

And, while I'm at it — I've noticed at least 2 threads which give outlines and steps one can take in order to achieve certain results — results that we here consider the Aim of Doing all this Work in order to achieve these results — but I haven't noticed many takers. I do notice that people discuss a lot of the material contained in those threads. And they ask questions. But I didn't notice any reports from anyone attempting to actually use the exercise and give their results. I should probably go back and re-read those threads in case I'm wrong. Is there anyone here who actually attempted to do either of these exercises? I'm specifically referring to the IFS (Internal Family Systems) thread, and the thread we're discussing here (Depression as a Stepping Stone (to Soul Growth). I don't want to make any assumptions — because it's quite possible that many Members have used these exercises and have achieved precisely the results promised, but they just haven't reported them on those threads. There are myriad possibilities — which is why I was wondering. I realize I have not read most of the material on this site so I'm likely missing a lot of the Work that is being done around here — both in the background as well as the Work people are writing about in the threads I have and have not read. And I also know how difficult it is to do even the first step of noticing all those Little i's and then gaining even a bit of separation from them.

I think I must be the odd-ball because the exercises that seem to work for me so well, may in fact not appeal to other Members. So all I can do is feel grateful and appreciative that someone has been kind enough to post those. I do wish I knew of exercises that I could post that would work as well for others here. It doesn't feel fair to me that I should be the only beneficiary. This is one of those things that I wish everyone else could experience too. So I guess I feel sort of sad about it, yes?

Anyway Richard S. I do hope I've cleared up my previous poorly worded statements. However, it's very possible that you can SEE that I am still missing the boat on understanding your points. And that's the reason I wanted to explain my statements. Not to defend my viewpoint, but so that if I'm still mis-understanding anything, you can SEE that I am and possibly point out my thought goofs in order to help me to SEE what you see. I cannot claim to be so well-versed as many of you who have been doing this Work for so much longer than I have — and who are far more familiar with these concepts and have read far more of the recommended books and Forum Threads than I have. So, if that's the case, I look forward to your correction. I am here to learn, yes? Thank you for your time and help.

And May The Force Be With You!! :)

 

[13 Twirling Triskeles]

Divide By Zero:

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I see that I have given a totally false impression of myself. Did you see me as being primarily centered in my Intellect? And that the thread "Depression as a Stepping Stone (to Soul Growth)" was primarily beneficial for those who are centered in their Intellects?

Then I am the totally WRONG person to use that exercise and get any results -- because I am SOOOOOOO centered in my EMOTIONAL CENTER it's probably scary! My Intellectual Center is my LEAST developed center of all. My MOVING CENTER and EMOTIONAL CENTER are my primary bases of operation.

And because I kind of thought you, too, were primarily EMOTIONAL CENTER based, is the reason I actually suggested that exercise for you. Because it's for dealing with our emotions NOT our intellects. It's designed for people like me who FEEL sooooo strongly and extremely and are so easily offended by the deeds and mis-deeds of others (symptom of Self-Importance, yes?) that the least little act of others which demonstrate their lack of awareness or consideration of others -- or any of a myriad of other traits and behaviors I could so justifiably criticize -- drives me totally CRAZY.

And worse than all that is that I've always believed in EXPRESSING my emotions and feelings and was unable to control myself from telling others just what I thought about their actions. I was blunt, rude, externally inconsiderate, and I didn't care at all what people thought of me or whether or not they liked or approved of me or my own behavior.

Now, I wasn't always so abrasive. I used to be very polite and deferential and considerate and kind. And what others thought of me did matter. But I did have my red lines. And it didn't matter who crossed those lines, what positions or status they held, if they violated those boundaries, as far as I was concerned they'd signed their metaphorical death warrants with me. I definitely have a temper and I definitely get angry. But that's nothing compared to when I go totally ice cold. Which is how I feel towards the Daesh-Bag terrorists.

So the point is that Emotions are what I need to deal with. Of course I also need to develop my Intellect as well. But by working on my emotions, I think I help prepare the ground so-to-speak for developing my intellect. And I could be soooooo wrong about that. :)

P.S. Yeah, well I, too, THINK a lot. But I'm noticing that all that thinking is being done by all my Little i's and not by my REAL I. And relying on my Little i's thinking is precisely how I keep landing in the soup. Which is also why I suggested that exercise. Because, in order to fully focus & concentrate on feeling my emotions as they were turmoiling about in my gut region of my body, I had to refuse to allow my mind to allow all those Little i's go into their rants and raves. Anytime another thought appeared, I would remind myself to just feel my feelings. The thoughts were 'Names' or 'Descriptions' of what I was feeling. But getting caught up in the mind attempting to name, or describe, or figure out what, when, where, why, or how about the emotions are just more attempts by those Little i's to short-circuit the process. Remaining with the feeling until the Little i's FINALLY shut the heck up and stopped badgering me with all their wha-wha-wha opened up my mental space so that REAL thinking could happen -- not the thinking those Little i's think is thinking. Then the magic happened.

So, as far as how you feel about all those issues mentioned in your reply, believe me -- I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. Just FYI, it doesn't make you wrong that you feel the way you do. It isn't about being right or wrong. It's just about making choices. I actually did that exercise the first time more as an experiment -- out of curiosity and just to see what would happen. I didn't expect anything. I was actually surprised. Pleasantly surprised, but surprised nonetheless. :)

 

[13 Twirling Triskeles]

I'm upset also that despite Anne's inhuman "strength" and "resolve"- people were not able to complain about her. Sheesh, I saw things that bothered me about her, primarily on how she was so good at countering anything anyone said. I dated/lived with a very smart women like that who until to these past few months was able to twist any "stupid emotional" annoyance I had with things into my own issue. It's sick and I kind of feel like this childish need to say, I TOLD YOU SO! Because even before the event, I had these feelings about her techniques and for some reason it was taboo to talk about it. It had to come to the point that Anne pestered the Chateau where their patience was lost in order to take away her holy powers and be able to criticize her. And here I am with my lofty intellectualism, open to any and all criticisim, OSIT. So what does that say about us? On any level we are susceptible to being fools when it comes to those who are so skilled at hiding themselves. It sickens me that had she still been here, I would not be able to post all of these things that might bother me, because she is perfect and would have a field day with pointing out how much I don't get it or what not. It's fine at work when I have to accept what a boss says- they are a boss by fiat. But, I am glad that this developed in this way because it is much more dynamic and hopefully it is not just me feeding on attention. I don't think so because I honestly am tired of being tired!

As for Anne — I never met her. I only know her from her posts. But I'm fairly certain that most of us have met people who have this kind of impact and effect on us. I personally had a friend — a woman friend — and she could turn & twist everything and — oh well, nevermind. Suffice it to say it was because of her that I looked up the term psychopath online. Whether or not she was technically a real down and dirty psycho is almost irrelevant because she may as well have been for all the mayhem and hell she left in her wake. She flat out stated about her boyfriend — not once but several times — that she intended to corrupt him. And guess what? He ended up in prison — for doing things she egged him on to do. I disentangled myself and only got out of her sphere of influence by the skin of my teeth. But she cost me about $10,000 in money. And she got me in trouble with my bank as well — because she deposited money into my account as payment back for another $900 loan I gave her. Unbeknownst to me, she forged a check from one of her clients and deposited that check into my account. And, because I didn't know that money was stolen, and her client put a stop on it, I was in trouble. But that's nothing compared to how much she cost us all emotionally and psychically.

Deception is their game. And they wouldn't be able to deceive us if they weren't very good at it. Yes they do fool us. And yes we feel betrayed. And yes it's really difficult when the deceiver is able to scale the ladder to the heights and has the ears of those in charge and you feel you cannot 'out' them because they have more influence than you do and yes, yes, yes, yes. That is their nature.

But I care way more about what you see as your next step with regard to helping yourself. We've all talked, and talked, and talked. And everyone has offered you ideas and advice and points to ponder. So, amongst all that information, is there anything that stands out that seems like you could maybe latch onto to guide you towards something you could actually DO?

I say this because you've described several emotions you're feeling about several issues — world events and personal issues. And I think we all pretty much agree that all of it's pretty darn horrible and that we all understand WHAT you feel & HOW you feel and WHY you feel that way. So, I guess my next question is this. Do you wish to continue feeling the way you're feeling about all these things? Because if you wish to remain upset and angry about it all, that's fine with me. I just wondered if you wanted to feel differently — or maybe have a different attitude about it all? It's totally your call DBZ. It's up to you. It's your choice. I just feel that I need some direction from you in order to know what my own next step would be. And whatever you decide — even if you decide that you don't know — is cool with me. There's lots of space for you to remain in place or move in any direction you choose. The ball's in your court. And I say all that with total and sincere confidence that you are in perfect harmony with your own destiny. :)

 

[Richs]

[quote author=13 Twirling Triskeles]
Anyway Richard S. I do hope I've cleared up my previous poorly worded statements. However, it's very possible that you can SEE that I am still missing the boat on understanding your points. And that's the reason I wanted to explain my statements. Not to defend my viewpoint, but so that if I'm still mis-understanding anything, you can SEE that I am and possibly point out my thought goofs in order to help me to SEE what you see. I cannot claim to be so well-versed as many of you who have been doing this Work for so much longer than I have — and who are far more familiar with these concepts and have read far more of the recommended books and Forum Threads than I have. So, if that's the case, I look forward to your correction. I am here to learn, yes? Thank you for your time and help.[/quote]

I want to thank you for your very lengthy response which certainly did clear up the many misconceptions I had about what your are doing and attempting to achieve.

I don't think any 'correction' on my part is needed as what is useful for a particular person depends where they are starting from, how their particular mind works, etc. It is is indeed working for you or others then these techniques have merit. Some people do other things to achieve similar results. It's more like where you end up at that is probably most important. What I had described is mostly the generality of how our emotions work and how they need to be used in conjunction with everything else in a balanced way for things to work smoothly.

One thing I have learned from my own personal experience is that it is totally useless to "try" to feel a certain way or not feel a certain way. The results seem to occur when there is no longer a need or mechanism to generate those particular feelings. You might say it happens 'naturally' because as one changes 'who they are' these programs no longer have any energy to operate with.

I'll give you an example: back when we were still on Casschat, before this Forum was begun, someone asked me to give one example of what doing the Work had actually produced some sort of positive result for me.

I mulled this over for some time and then it occurred to me that I no longer seemed to have the capacity to"hate". I was about to post this, but I didn't want to say this was so unless it actually was so. I spent the next couple of hours trying my mightiest to summon up the emotion of 'hate' and I was totally unable to do so. Actually, this was rather surprising to me as I had never actually considered this phenomenon, this total inability to feel something I knew for certain I had always had the capacity to feel before I had begun this Work. Since now I was completely sure I was being honest and truthful I posted the answer.

I took me quite some to to figure out why this was so. It appears that (at least for me, and after a long period of thought about it and much introspection) the emotion we call hate was summoned up when someone or something denied me that which I 'wanted'. By doing the Work it changed something in me so that I no longer had this 'wanting' that I had before. In other words, it happened 'naturally' because when I no longer had the desire which promoted that feeling, it could no longer manifest. It was, as an analogy, like turning off the electricity to a light bulb. No juice = no light.

So what I am saying is that we can not force these changes, they come as a result of the Work, and sometimes we don't even know how we got to 'here' from 'there'. It is kind of amusing, but also very satisfying, to suddenly realize that you have become 'different' without knowing exactly how you are different or how it actually came about. But you do know you have 'changed'. The changes are often gradual and/or come in small, or occasionally, large jumps. It doesn't mean you are 'all done', but it is nice to know and understand you are making some progress.

There are other benefits too. It brings peace, knowledge and understanding and joy to your being and your life. It also helps you to understand other people and have more sympathy and empathy because you have 'been there and done that' and you understand what they are going through. It allows being able to help others by sharing what you have learned with them. It is difficult to explain how much Joy this brings.

As always, this is my current understanding of these things based on the explanations of the various esoteric teachers, the C's and my personal experience in doing my best to apply them and may not be totally accurate and apply to everyone. Still, I hope this has been helpful to you and others.

 

[Divide by Zero]

I realized that with the ball started rolling on seeing my feelings and feeling them in a different way- I am starting on doing private writing exercises instead of using this forum as my rant board. Sorry about that! It did feel very nice to be listened to and accepted for my insanity as not real insanity- just being misunderstood. That to me is love and I thank you all for the support and patience while I was going through a nightmare of feelings.

13TT-
I will re read it again and again. Maybe I'm just being stubborn or blind to it... or maybe I just can't do it that way and I was judging about it. It just feels artificial and forced to me when I tried it.
Writing, talking with friends/good co workers, and physical work helps me a lot to see where I am going astray and oddly enough despite a pretty un physical last week (more troubleshooting) this week I've been busy with dirty hands on repairs :) Sometimes I see a method to the madness of this reality, with small coincidences like this!


Richard-

I recall us talking about this. It helped me to see that hate is not the same as to be angry or dislike what someone is doing. We talked about Dick Cheney and it was funny to use that psychopath as an example, because he is so extreme. But hate I see now is more a general, non-direct, non-righteous thing, like hating someone for their color, religion, or status.
I can see that I really dislike what he did and am angry that he got away with murder and stealing.

Perhaps the New Age crap that I was into before the gnosticism and then C's stuff did infect me, though indirectly. It infects in that it confuses terms that are not really equal. Heck, they say anything negative is evil, even if it is being angry at someone who directly wronged you. What a great way to create perpetual holy victims who don't fight for justice!

Sheesh, and with that, I don't hate the New Age movement, but I really dislike it because it makes me angry that they trick people who mean well!

 

[13 Twirling Triskeles]

Thank you very much Richard S for your feedback. I was going to highlight those parts which really struck me, but then I realized I'd have to bold your entire post. :)

As for my "very lengthy response", I know my posts are too long and wordy. I'm still very unskilled at making them short & sweet and to the point. I admire how well so many Members are able to do that so well. I was hoping (wishfully thinking?) that the more WORK I do on myself, that one of the benefits might be gaining the skill to do precisely that. I feel it's very externally inconsiderate for me to post such long, involved narratives, and I have truly tried to pare them down. But I think people who can write their thoughts and ideas with more word density must have their minds trained far better than I do. At any rate, I am aware of this. But I'm not at all successful in applying that knowledge — YET! However, that is my AIM and ultimate goal. And I'm sure everyone here will shout Hallelujiah when I finally succeed. I'll probably shout right along with them.

Just FYI — I wasn't taking your statement as 'criticism'. I took it more as a reminder or clue that the Universe, through you, was tapping me on my shoulder to remind me to stay more alert and continue to work on improving my communications. So thanks for helping remind me of that. :)

This part — where you say . . .

It is is indeed working for you or others then these techniques have merit. Some people do other things to achieve similar results.

I'm intrigued. I shall explore more of the Work and Psychology Boards to see what other techniques are available. I do like having options. It's quite possible that other techniques will work as well or better than those I'm already using. I'm totally game for experimenting and trying out other Work methods. DOING all these exercises is what I find the most fun. I actually enjoy the struggle and the effort. My biggest hurdle is overcoming inertia and disciplining myself to DO them. Once I start, I almost always have zero problem sticking to the process until it's complete. So thank you for that info too.

What I had described is mostly the generality of how our emotions work and how they need to be used in conjunction with everything else in a balanced way for things to work smoothly.

Yes. I got that. And you did it very well too. Thank you for that.

[. . .] it is totally useless to "try" to feel a certain way or not feel a certain way. The results seem to occur when there is no longer a need or mechanism to generate those particular feelings. You might say it happens 'naturally' because as one changes 'who they are' these programs no longer have any energy to operate with.

I soooo agree. I've found that Force just is NOT the answer. What I notice is that when I am able to be identified with my Observer I and experience a distinct separation from all my other Little i's, there's absolutely no effort required to BE and FEEL what I was struggling to BE and FEEL before that separation occurred. It's as if my personality and Identify are restored to their natural order — like I've Feng Shuied my Beingness.

I loved your narrative about losing your former emotion of Hate. I can partially relate. I didn't lose all my Hate, but I did lose my Hatred for Rain. But that was after doing some EE — not from using the exercise from the Depression as a Stepping Stone thread. Still, it is quite an amazing realization that we no longer feel a certain way. And we don't always realize it's gone until we make an effort to remember. It's similar to what happens when we work on past traumas and they no longer hold any emotional charge. We have to make an effort to recall the trauma, but now it no longer FEELS the same. The facts are still there to recall. But the stuck emotions have been released, so it's a different experience entirely.

There are other benefits too. It brings peace, knowledge and understanding and joy to your being and your life. It also helps you to understand other people and have more sympathy and empathy because you have 'been there and done that' and you understand what they are going through. It allows being able to help others by sharing what you have learned with them. It is difficult to explain how much Joy this brings

AMEN to all that. Well said.

As always, this is my current understanding of these things based on the explanations of the various esoteric teachers, the C's and my personal experience in doing my best to apply them and may not be totally accurate and apply to everyone. Still, I hope this has been helpful to you and others.

Not only 'helpful' but inspiring as well. Thank you once again for all your helpful thoughts and insightful feedback. I keep finding myself saying this . . . I am in your debt . . . to so many others on this Forum who have helped me in so many ways. And now I find myself feeling that towards you as well. Oddly enough, it doesn't feel like an onerous or burdensome debt. It actually feels like a gratitude debt, and that truly feels expansive rather than contractive for some weird reason. :)

Cheers!

 

[13 Twirling Triskeles]

I realized that with the ball started rolling on seeing my feelings and feeling them in a different way- I am starting on doing private writing exercises instead of using this forum as my rant board. Sorry about that! It did feel very nice to be listened to and accepted for my insanity as not real insanity- just being misunderstood. That to me is love and I thank you all for the support and patience while I was going through a nightmare of feelings.

Hey DBZ. I'm sorry if what I previously wrote came across as wanting you to stop expressing yourself here on the Forum. That I maybe shut you down from discussing what's going on with you here. That was totally NOT my intention at all.

I am glad you are writing about this stuff. I do find that writing things out by hand rather than typing them out on my computer has a different effect. Maybe it's 'cause I have to go slower when I write? Maybe it's because it's a more organic(?) process? In any event, I truly wish you well and that writing will be helpful for you to SEE more clearly and pull some of the snarled threads apart.

As for being listened to and accepted, I personally feel like I'm totally on your side — right there with you — not at cross purposes or as an opponent. Probably because I can identify so well with what you're experiencing. I may not have written about my own struggles with these same issues you are going through on this Forum, but I can definitely assure you that I have been — and continue to — struggle with all the emotional turmoil I experience regarding the insanity of what's going on in this world.

Believe me (or not :)) when I say that so many times while reading SOTT news on my computer, I have burst out verbally and angrily and furiously about what I'm reading — and thinking all kinds of thoughts about what I would like to do to annihilate these scumbags. You cannot imagine the retribution and vengeance I have imagined dishing out on them. So, it's not as if I don't relate to how you're feeling or why you're feeling as you do. I'm NOT trying to stop you or force you to feel differently than you presently feel. I'm sorry if my questions indicated that I thought you should change or alter or stop expressing yourself. Bad moi!

13TT-
I will re read it again and again. Maybe I'm just being stubborn or blind to it... or maybe I just can't do it that way and I was judging about it. It just feels artificial and forced to me when I tried it.

Hold on DBZ. It sounds as if you're attempting to do something in spite of how you feel towards it. I'm not sure that will work. I know there's a saying here about doing what 'it' doesn't want to do — and maybe your resistance is an example of that. But what if it's not? I'm not sure I totally understand exactly what people really mean when they say they do what 'it' doesn't like. Maybe they mean something totally different than what I understand it to mean.

Because whenever I force myself to do something I really do NOT want to do, it NEVER works out well in the end. NEVER! EVER! Which is why I think I must not be understanding what is meant by that statement of doing what 'it' doesn't like. I would have to dialogue with someone who could help clear that confusion up for me in order to see where and when that exercise would be applicable. It's quite possible I do not know when and where it would be best used as a discipline.

Writing, talking with friends/good co workers, and physical work helps me a lot to see where I am going astray and oddly enough despite a pretty un physical last week (more troubleshooting)this week I've been busy with dirty hands on repairs Sometimes I see a method to the madness of this reality, with small coincidences like this!

Well good then. :)

 

[Richs]

Richard-

I recall us talking about this. It helped me to see that hate is not the same as to be angry or dislike what someone is doing. We talked about Dick Cheney and it was funny to use that psychopath as an example, because he is so extreme. But hate I see now is more a general, non-direct, non-righteous thing, like hating someone for their color, religion, or status.
I can see that I really dislike what he did and am angry that he got away with murder and stealing.

Perhaps the New Age crap that I was into before the gnosticism and then C's stuff did infect me, though indirectly. It infects in that it confuses terms that are not really equal. Heck, they say anything negative is evil, even if it is being angry at someone who directly wronged you. What a great way to create perpetual holy victims who don't fight for justice!

Sheesh, and with that, I don't hate the New Age movement, but I really dislike it because it makes me angry that they trick people who mean well!

It looks like you have gotten the idea. I too feel all the emotions you have mentioned and probably all the emotions available to us Humans - except Hate, as I have mentioned. Good thing too! Hate is like a cancer of the mind and soul. It can last for days, weeks, even for years or a whole lifetime. It eats at people and changes their entire lives, outlook and relationship with everyone else. Good riddance!

Your description of emotion using the analogy of sensing instruments is a good one. I spent 20 years as an instrument technician at a major oil company and knew not only all the technical specs and how the instrumentation worked, but an understanding of the theory as well, which is essential if one needs to find why something in the system is not working properly. So, I understand your analogy very well.

 

[Richs]

Thank you very much Richard S for your feedback. I was going to highlight those parts which really struck me, but then I realized I'd have to bold your entire post. :)

Sorry to tell you, but when I read this I broke out into a hearty laugh!

As for my "very lengthy response", I know my posts are too long and wordy. I'm still very unskilled at making them short & sweet and to the point. I admire how well so many Members are able to do that so well.

I was not saying that your post was too wordy or anything of the sort. Just sort of mentioning that I knew you had put a lot of time and effort in providing a good explanation of what you were thinking and doing with your exercises.

I was hoping (wishfully thinking?) that the more WORK I do on myself, that one of the benefits might be gaining the skill to do precisely that. I feel it's very externally inconsiderate for me to post such long, involved narratives, and I have truly tried to pare them down. But I think people who can write their thoughts and ideas with more word density must have their minds trained far better than I do.

Perhaps you will get better with practice and as you learn and grow. That seems to be the case with most of us. I'm sure you have noticed that those who really, really know their subject matter can share this knowledge much more economically than most of the rest of us can. Still, sometimes a subject has to be lengthy in order to accurately convey all the needed info.

I loved your narrative about losing your former emotion of Hate. I can partially relate. I didn't lose all my Hate, but I did lose my Hatred for Rain. But that was after doing some EE — not from using the exercise from the Depression as a Stepping Stone thread.

Many people have had some amazing results from doing EE, myself included. Somehow things 'happen' on a deep level that we are mostly unaware of. I would suggest to everyone here to do it as often as possible as there are more than physical aspects of improvement through it.

Thank you once again for all your helpful thoughts and insightful feedback. I keep finding myself saying this . . . I am in your debt . . . to so many others on this Forum who have helped me in so many ways. And now I find myself feeling that towards you as well. Oddly enough, it doesn't feel like an onerous or burdensome debt. It actually feels like a gratitude debt, and that truly feels expansive rather than contractive for some weird reason. :)

Most likely this is true because there is a sharing of energies happening. It is not a one-way street and I have learned some things through our conversations too. Probably you feel it as 'expansive' because what I am giving is given freely with no thought of personal gain of any sort, and I am attempting to be as much as possible in the STO mode of 'giving all to those who ask'. If it were otherwise, probably you would sense that.

Yes, it is true that we are all STS in this reality, but it is also true that we can attempt to operate as much as possible as STO while we are still in 3D. I can't recall where it was stated right now, but it seems the criteria for 'graduation' is that one must be at least 51% STO or at least 90% STS to do so. I don't exactly know where I am at, but I seriously doubt I would make the grade as a 4D STS Candidate!

 

[Divide by Zero]

I realized that with the ball started rolling on seeing my feelings and feeling them in a different way- I am starting on doing private writing exercises instead of using this forum as my rant board. Sorry about that! It did feel very nice to be listened to and accepted for my insanity as not real insanity- just being misunderstood. That to me is love and I thank you all for the support and patience while I was going through a nightmare of feelings.

Hey DBZ. I'm sorry if what I previously wrote came across as wanting you to stop expressing yourself here on the Forum. That I maybe shut you down from discussing what's going on with you here. That was totally NOT my intention at all.

No, it wasn't from any of the comments. It was that I saw that it was better done on my own. If something comes up that is really out of the ordinary, I won't hesitate to share it- as long as it can help the group. But right now it seems more of my own battle and I might be distracting myself by using this thread as a sounding board. It was more of a place to get started. Honestly, I tried the writing exercises before and it didn't do much for me- I couldn't really find out what to write. It became mundane. I think these emotions were being pushed aside in the name of "trying to be STO".

That comes to the conundrum which you brought up here and in the other thread.
As we learn, we can't be STO until we figure out the issues of STS, because we are STS. Sometimes STS is as simple as our own beliefs, because after all, a belief is partially an expectation. So, with an aim, we can fine tune that "control system" in ourselves in order to try to get to a state of less expectation/belief. Like the analogy I was trying to explain, if we can become more "conscious" and use the programming to adjust our "sensors" and "expectations" we can little by little get away from the conditions that cause the issues with our sensors.

I think the big mistake that happened to some who left the forum in a huff is that they tried to do it too fast. Like the iodine and other health protocol thread feedback shows, if we push too hard we can be set back more steps than we started!

So many things clicking together, but I have to remember- one step at a time. Otherwise my emotional "brakes" will lock my wheels up and I will spin out :)

 

[13 Twirling Triskeles]

Hey DBZ. I'm sorry if what I previously wrote came across as wanting you to stop expressing yourself here on the Forum. That I maybe shut you down from discussing what's going on with you here. That was totally NOT my intention at all.

Quote: Divide By Zero
No, it wasn't from any of the comments. It was that I saw that it was better done on my own. If something comes up that is really out of the ordinary, I won't hesitate to share it- as long as it can help the group. But right now it seems more of my own battle and I might be distracting myself by using this thread as a sounding board. It was more of a place to get started. Honestly, I tried the writing exercises before and it didn't do much for me- I couldn't really find out what to write. It became mundane. I think these emotions were being pushed aside in the name of "trying to be STO".

BINGO!! I'm thinking that maybe "trying to be STO" might be jumping-the-gun? What about the first little baby steps? Like observing our Little i's voices? Like dis-identifying with those i's and assuming the Observing I point-of-view?

I'm finding that when I can do that — create some distance from my raving little i's — that everything changes for me. The external world remains the same. Nothing new out there. But because my inner world changes, both my thinking and emotional viewpoints about the outer world also changes. Does that happen for you?

Trying to BE STO seems similar to me as what you mentioned about the New Age groups denying that negative emotions served any positive purpose. But according to that Depression thread, it is precisely the negative emotions that we need to feel in order to fuse our Magnetic Centers. Without the negative emotions, it is almost impossible to fuse that center. So our negative emotions are our friends in that respect. Which is certainly not what we've been led to believe is the case by the New Agers.

As far as "trying to be STO", I think luc gave me some pretty good advice in another thread. Which was that I could keep in mind that my AIM is to serve others so I could use that as my North Star Compass Point in order to guide my choices and decisions and actions. I could question my motives and ask myself whether going one way or another way was in alignment with my AIM. It's a pretty handy bit of info for me to refer to as I go about living my life and reading articles & posting here. OSIT :) Which is pretty much what I think you're saying in your quote below, n'est pas?

That comes to the conundrum which you brought up here and in the other thread.

As we learn, we can't be STO until we figure out the issues of STS, because we are STS. Sometimes STS is as simple as our own beliefs, because after all, a belief is partially an expectation. So, with an aim, we can fine tune that "control system" in ourselves in order to try to get to a state of less expectation/belief. Like the analogy I was trying to explain, if we can become more "conscious" and use the programming to adjust our "sensors" and "expectations" we can little by little get away from the conditions that cause the issues with our sensors.

I think the big mistake that happened to some who left the forum in a huff is that they tried to do it too fast. Like the iodine and other health protocol thread feedback shows, if we push too hard we can be set back more steps than we started!

Yeah. Thanks for bringing that up. I noticed that happening in that Iodine thread too.

So many things clicking together, but I have to remember- one step at a time. Otherwise my emotional "brakes" will lock my wheels up and I will spin out :)

Yes. Good Point. I think the only 'spinning' recommended is doing those 33 spin exercises the Pleiades (Barbara Marciniak) suggested. :)

I hope you keep us posted about your journey. Have a great week-end.

 

[Keit]

This anger which would normally make me complain changed to something else: A dream of a world where people don't run on dumb autopilot and cause trouble for those around them . On the macro scale of this issue, the authoritarian followers that defend these psychopaths and dismiss/put down those who bring up honest questions and concerns. I still feel like its an uphill or losing battle. I know that logically speaking, this is the way of the world, but how much I dream of being in a society where people are conscious and responsible, not these robotic zombies straight out of the movie "Idiocracy". Sigh, why won't I accept it, why do I still get mad?

Once on the Russian social network I read a funny "law" of sorts:

If you wait in line to draw money from the ATM, the person who stands in front of you is always a "slow" idiot.

The point is, that we all were and will be idiots and source of frustration and anger for someone else at some point. Of course, degrees of "stupidity" and idiocy may vary, and there is no excuse for gross incompetence. But the fact remains, and using what the C's said, as long as we are here and are not disappearing in a puff of smoke to the next density, it means that we still have something to learn.

It can be frustrating and really disheartening. I also went through a process of disillusionment regarding various people in my life and the world in general. There is still some pain and anger present that I can't have the experience I could have. It makes me want to blame these people, that things could be much better if only they were more receptive/kind/attentive, etc. Basically, if only they could act according to my desires and expectations. Pretty selfish, eh? But then this accepting the world as it is really sucks too.

The best solution was to make a decision to do my best and gradually become the change I want to see in the world. Yeah, we are all familiar with this cliche, but it appears to be the only approach that wastes the least amount of energy, because instead of spending it on frustration and anger, it is being redirected toward the aim of self-improvement.

It certainly doesn't mean that the world in large will become better, but it means that I will do my best to honor the gift given by the Universe. And who knows, maybe my efforts may help someone else at some point. Like in this story:

Once upon a time, there was an old man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach every morning before he began his work. Early one morning, he was walking along the shore after a big storm had passed and found the vast beach littered with starfish as far as the eye could see, stretching in both directions.

Off in the distance, the old man noticed a small boy approaching. As the boy walked, he paused every so often and as he grew closer, the man could see that he was occasionally bending down to pick up an object and throw it into the sea. The boy came closer still and the man called out, “Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?”

The young boy paused, looked up, and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean. The tide has washed them up onto the beach and they can’t return to the sea by themselves,” the youth replied. “When the sun gets high, they will die, unless I throw them back into the water.”

The old man replied, “But there must be tens of thousands of starfish on this beach. I’m afraid you won’t really be able to make much of a difference.”

The boy bent down, picked up yet another starfish and threw it as far as he could into the ocean. Then he turned, smiled and said, “It made a difference to that one!”

I also stumbled upon the following video today. Maybe some of you saw it before.

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[13 Twirling Triskeles]

The point is, that we all were and will be idiots and source of frustration and anger for someone else at some point. Of course, degrees of "stupidity" and idiocy may vary, and there is no excuse for gross incompetence. But the fact remains, and using what the C's said, as long as we are here and are not disappearing in a puff of smoke to the next density, it means that we still have something to learn.

It can be frustrating and really disheartening. I also went through a process of disillusionment regarding various people in my life and the world in general. There is still some pain and anger present that I can't have the experience I could have. It makes me want to blame these people, that things could be much better if only they were more receptive/kind/attentive, etc. Basically, if only they could act according to my desires and expectations. Pretty selfish, eh? But then this accepting the world as it is really sucks too.

The best solution was to make a decision to do my best and gradually become the change I want to see in the world. Yeah, we are all familiar with this cliche, but it appears to be the only approach that wastes the least amount of energy, because instead of spending it on frustration and anger, it is being redirected toward the aim of self-improvement.

It certainly doesn't mean that the world in large will become better, but it means that I will do my best to honor the gift given by the Universe. And who knows, maybe my efforts may help someone else at some point. Like in this story:

Well said, Keit. Once we realize we are not here to save the entire world, that we have our tiny little sphere of influence and that within that sphere we do have an impact and can make a difference, we can focus on what we CAN do. And whatever we CAN do does matter.

Everytime I can take an opportunity to make someone else's life easier has ramifications. For example, I am walking along on the sidewalk. An automobile driver wishes to turn into a driveway which I am approaching. I can easily stop and allow the driver to go first rather than make that driver wait for me to walk across the driveway. I may be making this up, but it seems to me that just extending this tiny little courtesy to another person, gives that person a little boost of positive energy, which they will most likely pass on to another person. Oddly enough, performing these little random acts of kindness also gives me a positive boost as well.

I remember helping a woman in a wheelchair get situated on the bus once. And she thanked me for helping her. I smiled and said, "You're welcome — pass it on." And she was totally delighted. I think because she became aware that it wasn't necessary for her to return the favor to me — that she could pass on the favor to someone else. Of course, I cannot guarantee that she did so. But it's certainly possible, yes?

There are many tiny ways we can influence others in our lives — whether strangers or people whom we know.

I loved your little Starfish story. It's similar to the Legend of the Song Bird story which I've posted a couple of times here on the Forum. These stories illustrate that principle of doing that which is within us to do — without expectation of reward or a return flow to us. It just makes us happy to be able to do whatever small thing we can do -- because we CAN.

Thanks for your post. :)

 

[Voyageur]

Hold on DBZ. It sounds as if you're attempting to do something in spite of how you feel towards it. I'm not sure that will work. I know there's a saying here about doing what 'it' doesn't want to do — and maybe your resistance is an example of that. But what if it's not? I'm not sure I totally understand exactly what people really mean when they say they do what 'it' doesn't like. Maybe they mean something totally different than what I understand it to mean.

Because whenever I force myself to do something I really do NOT want to do, it NEVER works out well in the end. NEVER! EVER! Which is why I think I must not be understanding what is meant by that statement of doing what 'it' doesn't like. I would have to dialogue with someone who could help clear that confusion up for me in order to see where and when that exercise would be applicable. It's quite possible I do not know when and where it would be best used as a discipline.

I'll try - since you are asking about "doing what it doesn't like", 13TT, and what it means to others; and of course there likley is great deal of contrast to this expression along with A - Z possibilities - so don't know exactly what your terms of reference are. Nonetheless, was thinking that on a basic level, OIST, on an mental and physical energetic level; on tasks from a long list that need to be done, difficult projects started and finished, hard posts or letters to be written, taxes to file, uncomfortable situations to be attended, work deadlines, that dreaded family discussion, or perhaps a lawn and garden that needs a lot of work - and the very work on oneself where resistance comes up.

It could be some of these things and so many other things that challenges one to choose to do, or choose not to do. So am thinking that if one finds oneself aligning with the latter because, well it's easier and may be more fun, then think about that and DO the former where there is greater possibility to learn something about things, others and oneself, even if deemed uncomfortable. Also, one can try to see this as a point whereby 'DOing' requires constant awareness of and being present within, and I'm not often very successful either.

I might be well off on unpacking this.