Hope, fear and the future

[13 Twirling Triskeles]

Nonetheless, was thinking that on a basic level, OIST, on an mental and physical energetic level; on tasks from a long list that need to be done, difficult projects started and finished, hard posts or letters to be written, taxes to file, uncomfortable situations to be attended, work deadlines, that dreaded family discussion, or perhaps a lawn and garden that needs a lot of work - and the very work on oneself where resistance comes up.

It could be some of these things and so many other things that challenges one to choose to do, or choose not to do. So am thinking that if one finds oneself aligning with the latter because, well it's easier and may be more fun, then think about that and DO the former where there is greater possibility to learn something about things, others and oneself, even if deemed uncomfortable. Also, one can try to see this as a point whereby 'DOing' requires constant awareness of and being present within, and I'm not often very successful either.

I might be well off on unpacking this.

Wonderful, Voyageur. That totally cleared up any mis-understanding I was having. And I whole-heartedly agree -- now that I see what "doing what it doesn't want" means. Funnily enough, I had to actually make myself do just the opposite sometimes. Let me explain. I was raised in a family where BEFORE we were allowed or permitted to play, or read, or do anything fun at all (as children), we were told we must finish our chores -- and with 5 children, you can be sure there were plenty of those. I am not complaining about that training. I am actually grateful for it. I am merely saying that I grew up with this as my guiding star. So pretty much my entire life, I would always feel that I wanted to complete any tasks that needed doing before I could feel comfortable relaxing and doing things that were more enjoyable -- like studying, learning, etc.

Fast Forward to my mid-40's and one day I asked myself, "So, what would they put on my tombstone when I die?" And the answer that came was, "Oh, she worked really long hard hours." Well, I was so shocked and unhappy with that answer that I decided to revise my life and make having fun my new priority -- and work could take 2nd place for a change. That doesn't mean I didn't still take care of business -- because one can hardly escape one's obligations after all. It's just that I began to add a bit more balance into my "all work -- no play" life. Because there is ALWAYS another task to do - ALWAYS more work to do - it is never-ending and it never did end. I very rarely did anything except work, and work and work.

Right around that same time, I also began working with my dreams. I would ask my subconscious to give me clues about what I should focus on. And I had a series of dreams where I was at gatherings with family and friends and in one of those dreams my sister and I were laughing so hard, I woke myself up laughing OUT LOUD. So, I took that as a sign that it was time to let up on the nose-to-the-grindstone approach and give myself the gift of having some fun for a change. I do not regret that decision at all.

Of course that was then, and this is now. What I suspect happened is that I was initially living the extreme of work/no play -- then I added some play -- and experimented with what it was like to put off doing work tasks that could legitimately be put off without the entire world coming to an end.

I guess I needed to experience both sides of the equation in order to make up my own mind and determine what my best balance would be for me. I'm still mostly working & because of moving away from all my friends and family and my dance & music tribe, I no longer have the opportunity to enjoy the activities I really most love. So I decided to just focus on what I can do under the present circumstances. This situation was of my own choice and I do not regret it. It actually affords me more opportunity to devote my energies and attention to the Real Work as explicated here on this Forum. So, all in all, I feel it was a good exchange. Yes, occasionally I do miss my family and friends back on the mainland. But frankly I'm so busy reading and learning and practicing and attempting to apply what I do learn, that I think my old life would probably just offer a lot of distractions -- fun as they are.

I think you did a perfect job in unpacking "doing what it doesn't want" and I'm very glad I now understand it better. Probably if I had thought more about what "it" represented, I wouldn't have been so confused. But I am so glad you resolved my confusion. Thank you very much. :)

 

[Divide by Zero]

There is a fine line between what is doing what it doesn't like for the aim and just doing it for the sake of it.

I have an example that came up during a time when my career was changing.

I was working a job that required a lot of heavy physical labor. I was adapting to the work and it wasn't so bad, but I hated it so bad. I posted on the cass yahoo groups on whether I should change jobs and take a prospect out in California or stay and stick with this. I was told I should do what "it doesn't like". But that was still muddy for me and I ran in loops!

So I had to make a list of the pros and cons to separate what is beneficial and not to what I want and the aim. A compromise is needed, because like we said before, "baby steps". If we push too hard and it breaks us it might actually cause an emotional reaction to do the opposite!

I ended up leaving the job, because the main aim was to make a living and advance my career into what would help me in the long run. Had I stayed in that job, I could have been injured badly (it was also in dangerous conditions) and I would come home drained and exhausted and stressed out.

What is also funny is that had I not grown tired of my past white collar job, I would not have done that job. Had I done what it doesn't like in the first place at that white collar job, I would be laid off from a company that expected too much from their employees.

So, I think what is key here is to not stop doing something that "hurts" because it hurts, but stop it if it isn't required.


I suppose that is the difference between the 4th way- doing the work IN the everyday life and focusing on a 1st, 2nd, or 3rd way exercise as the whole enchilada.

Example: The difference between being a fakir and toiling physically because you believe toiling physically IS the AIM and doing the 4th way work, toiling physically because you are doing it for some reason NOW. In the 4th way, it is not the end to the means.

Please correct me if I wrongly understood, this is really a hard to grasp concept and can be swayed by personal experiences.

 

[Gwenllian]

A few days ago I felt like reading a bit in Clarissa Pinkola Estés' Women Who Run With the Wolves again and found this great fairytale The Crescent Moon Bear (Chapter 12), Marking Territory: The Boundaries of Rage and Forgiveness. I haven't finished it yet, DBZ, but I think it is a great example of rage as being our teacher and our creative force if we know how to channel it.
I have suffered immensely because of my rage (and made other people suffer) as I did not know how to transform it into a positive force. It was all about destruction and there was no way out until I realised with the help of the forum that I could use this tremendous energy for the greater good in myself and the world around me.

Maybe it is a bit off topic but I would like to share what Clarissa wrote about The Spirit Bear in the same chapter and which made me think of Putin and Russia and which may throw a different light on him and his people.

To the Japanese the bear is a symbol of loyalty, wisdom and strength. In northern Japan where the Ainu tribe lives, the bear is one who can talk to God directly and bring messages back for humans. The crescent moon bear is considered a sacred being, one who was given the the white mark on his throat by the Buddhist Goddess Kwan-Yin, Kwan-Yin is the Goddess of Deep Compassion and the bear is her emissary?
In the psyche, the bear can be understood as the ability to regulate one's life, especially one's feeling life. Bearish power is the ability to move in cycles, be fully alert, or quiet down into a hibernative sleep that renews one's energy for the next cycle. The bear image teaches that it is possible to maintain a kind of pressure gauge for one's emotional life, and most especially that one can be fierce and generous at the same time. One can be reticent and valuable. One can protect one's territory, make one's boundaries clear, shake the sky if need be, yet be available, accessible, engendering all at the same time.

Added: And there is a lesson in there for us as well. :)

 

[Voyageur]

Of course that was then, and this is now. What I suspect happened is that I was initially living the extreme of work/no play -- then I added some play -- and experimented with what it was like to put off doing work tasks that could legitimately be put off without the entire world coming to an end.

I read another post where you talked about doing a window, and than moving on to something else sort of thing. This happens to me too, like with so many things on the go, my attention often gets divided; sometimes for practical reasons, like it's just too hot to continue working on a particular thing, so I'll go and work on the tractor or whatever. I also realize that this, this moving focus, often makes for, albeit a more varied point of Doing, it is not as well organized and lacks direct continued focus. Yes, I would like to "play" more than not, so have to find a balance between things, between the not so critical things to do, the more important things to do while still having time to enjoy more simple fun things.

There is a fine line between what is doing what it doesn't like for the aim and just doing it for the sake of it.

True.

I have an example that came up during a time when my career was changing.

I was working a job that required a lot of heavy physical labor. I was adapting to the work and it wasn't so bad, but I hated it so bad. I posted on the cass yahoo groups on whether I should change jobs and take a prospect out in California or stay and stick with this. I was told I should do what "it doesn't like". But that was still muddy for me and I ran in loops!

I can see where this would muddy waters. Was thinking that for some, striking out to California, might also be something that they would fear - starting something new, so in that case, Doing what "it doesn't like" would be precisely that second choice, which seems what you did even though; and I don't know for sure, is that the first choice, although hard work, was what you knew and were more comfortable with (or some might be) as opposed to the unknown and a better AIM that came of it.

So I had to make a list of the pros and cons to separate what is beneficial and not to what I want and the aim. A compromise is needed, because like we said before, "baby steps". If we push too hard and it breaks us it might actually cause an emotional reaction to do the opposite!

I ended up leaving the job, because the main aim was to make a living and advance my career into what would help me in the long run. Had I stayed in that job, I could have been injured badly (it was also in dangerous conditions) and I would come home drained and exhausted and stressed out.

What is also funny is that had I not grown tired of my past white collar job, I would not have done that job. Had I done what it doesn't like in the first place at that white collar job, I would be laid off from a company that expected too much from their employees.

So, I think what is key here is to not stop doing something that "hurts" because it hurts, but stop it if it isn't required.

I suppose that is the difference between the 4th way- doing the work IN the everyday life and focusing on a 1st, 2nd, or 3rd way exercise as the whole enchilada.

Example: The difference between being a fakir and toiling physically because you believe toiling physically IS the AIM and doing the 4th way work, toiling physically because you are doing it for some reason NOW. In the 4th way, it is not the end to the means.

Please correct me if I wrongly understood, this is really a hard to grasp concept and can be swayed by personal experiences.

Interesting way you put the last question. This "toiling" physically denotes that it is a unwanted struggle, so for me anyway, I try to not see things as toiling, and certainly if it is injurious, just look for a better way of doing it; although I'm not immune to these injurious things, mainly because of a lack of not being more aware of the work/mind and the physical surroundings, so in that is there a 4th way of approaching hard physical things, and although still a struggle, it perhaps can interact with an AIM on a mental plane on achieving better mastery over the self, if that makes any sense? I guess also there is the intent and the choice of doing physical things, how the mind sees, let's say being paid to do something physical over just needing to do something because it needs doing. There is not a great deal of control in the first part (yet there can be), and that is how many make a living; so how to balance that? Having held a shovel in life to make a living at certain times, there was no choice to not do as was asked (if a paycheck was needed), to dig that ditch, so digging a good ditch became a focus; understanding the tool, the physical movements and trying to be aware of the state of mind. Something else comes to mind with tree planters. Some beat themselves up miserably, they have no awareness of what they are doing other than shovel into ground/plant tree, while some know precisely what they are doing, they have an economy of movement, can see the unseen superior micro-sites under the top layers just from a quick examination of its surface features, and move like in a dance over the landscape planting trees.

 

[Divide by Zero]

Mariama, thanks for reminding me about that book. I have it and haven't touched it. DOH!


Voyageur, yeah it was alright for the time being. But, if I stayed with that job, I probably would end up like the older people in the group- many physical issues from repetitive strain.
The funny thing is that the younger workers who were my age thought they were immune to this future condition. I saw the facts- the conditions provided to us, which were unsafe half the time, required "bending the rules". Sometimes those rules you bend regarding luck/providence, come to bite you back. Maybe I am a bit superstitious, but on a more mathematical sense: you have a probability of injury from anything. If you keep doing things that have a high probability of that, it will just compound and you will make probability almost 1:1 in having an injury.

I think in that job what most made me run (and yes moving for a better job was difficult too!), was that the people in that job were idealizing it as some perfect job, just because it was a state job and offered good benefits. They excused management's ridiculous skirting of safety, some of which would be illegal in my current job! What is funny is that in a later job, I met someone who also left that job. He said how when he left, they were confounded - because nobody leaves. Sad! I tried to stand up for certain basic safety issues and got shot down because of that mentality of my co workers.

It reminds me of an anger I still have. If we were to have even more fascism, I can be sure that people would defend it, even if they know it's wrong- just because they think competing against other working class people would give them an advantage. That's exactly why I left the first major job which was white collar, the "backstabbing" was so cut and dry.

This kind of stuff reminds me of what Haffner wrote about Germany when Hitler was rising to power. I think despite my issues, being hyper-sensitive and not being able to "force myself", got me to a decent place where I am now. I think at the time I hated being super-sensitive/weak, but I feel gratitude for my own wild horse inside who told me to run as soon as possible. Perhaps this is what Women Who Run With the Wolves talks about.

But, sadly my past few deep relationships were with the complete opposite: women who in the past, stayed with men who were narcissists/sociopaths. I think that is another thing that depresses me to this day. In the few times I've dated, it seems like this kind of behavior is worn like a badge of honor. No wonder why this garbage 50 shades of grey became so popular!

 

[Corvus]

Yesterday night, I went with a friend to a drink and night out in a city center, usually very rarely go to such places because it is all fency smanshy and it is a different world. When I got upstairs to a caffe bar waiter fell down and started having convulsions, I being close by and walking said to other waiter to call ambulance and started pulling him from chairs and other waiter pulling him on the side because of tongue, tried to open his mouth but his teeth closed but at least tongue was in and no blood, someone saying to get water with sugar. He had an epilepsy, I started asking this other waiter if he had it before and that he ll probably lose his job because of it because friends sister also had epilepsy so she could not work as a hair dresser and this waiter probably working long hours and being used by employer, other waiter started being defensive and asked who are you sir, (in the end this waiter who had seizure being better, I asking him if he is ok and tapping him on the shoulder, ambulance arriving after half an hour) me thinking like who do I have to be to help other but the thing being there is nothing much you can do when there is epilepsy but thing being how little you can do in such situations and how most people tend to only watch and being scared like in this case, friends girlfriend saying how she is disturbed 3 hours later, to me that being funny thinking what are you people gone do when system collapses. We are so riddeled with fear and apathy and stupidity, like this other officer saying that one guy died from stroke at the bar after two beers and people started moving away from him and waiter calling ambulance after 15 min. after it being already too late.

 

[3DStudent]

I've been a bit behind on old threads and just finished this one last weekend. And I'm glad I read it. I had read some of the later posts, but the first few pages are gems. Thank you Laura for the great fruits of this grand experiment and the insights of others that followed. I really love this forum and people here, and this theead was very inspiring, even 7 months later. At some point during reading the tense feeling in my stomach went away and I was able to relax. Not sure if it was just completing the last old thread I had left, or just a feeling of learning something really valuable in the thread.

The session talking about being stuck in a time loop was brought up. And I was thinking about it's "When we choose that counts." And the thought came that maybe each of us are one of those 200 conscious people trying to become conscious enough to finally make a great quantum leap. Like I sometimes wonder, "What if there are 199 conscious people and I could be the last one the makes a jump that helps the group?"

A few more thoughts I had if it's still relevant to DBZ's responses:

I don't have the advantage of a functional emotional center, so I cannot say "I feel you" in the most literal sense, but some thoughts fwiw:

It's confusing and I kind of feel like I can't just settle for "the best for now" sometimes. In fact, I kind of hate it, seeing how the majority settle for what they think is "the best for now". Who are we to say that we know better? Who are we to pretend like we are in tune with anything? What is exactly objective, when we are judging based on shadows that this reality casts?

The key is that we are working on finding the best, or most objective. Even if this is not THE Truth, it's the best we got in 3D IMO.

But really, we do everything- work or not, based on a REWARD. Yes, even you do the work in order to be "objective". That's the annoyance, that deep down, everything we do is STS. And it is quite STS of me to be angry at that STS action.

Or maybe we do the work because it feels like the right thing do do, given what we know. Even if it deep down is just for a reward, we're working towards it becoming a part of our being so that we just naturally do it becauase it's in us to do it. You don't have to know the lessons of 4D in order to get there, just those in 3D.

The final question which just popped in my head: how are we not wishfully thinking that things will be different this time? Even the C's say that most go to 4d through 5th density. So, what are we hoping for? A better world, that doesn't fight to be better? Or better to ask myself, why am I expecting more?

I don't know if it will be different this time, but it's worth the try.

Finally, I had a note, "Jane diet - proof of concept". I can't remember the context though, and I cannot find the quote. I think it was a Seth quote, but maybe it was the Pleiadeans, profound and quite long. Something about transitioning without leaving the body. Thanks again.

 

[bjorb]

[quote author= 3DStudent][quote author= DBZ]It's confusing and I kind of feel like I can't just settle for "the best for now" sometimes. In fact, I kind of hate it, seeing how the majority settle for what they think is "the best for now". Who are we to say that we know better? Who are we to pretend like we are in tune with anything? What is exactly objective, when we are judging based on shadows that this reality casts?[/quote]

The key is that we are working on finding the best, or most objective. Even if this is not THE Truth, it's the best we got in 3D IMO.[/quote]

Like the C’s once said, ''a STS vehicle does not learn to be an STO candidate by determining the needs of others.'' So yes ''who are we to say that we know any better''? But by acknowledging Objectivity. We can through practising The Work, get a better understanding about ourselves and the World. And make correct decisions based on that.

Your comment has been made a while back DBZ. But I share the same frustration, for me it is that I feel myself often out of place to try to understand others and decide what they have to learn while I have so much to learn myself.


[quote author= 3D student]Or maybe we do the work because it feels like the right thing do do, given what we know. Even if it deep down is just for a reward[/quote]

I think so to, there is a difference between reward-seeking and doing what is right based on knowledge and love.


[quote author= 3DStudent][quote author= DBZ]The final question which just popped in my head: how are we not wishfully thinking that things will be different this time? Even the C's say that most go to 4d through 5th density. So, what are we hoping for? A better world, that doesn't fight to be better? Or better to ask myself, why am I expecting more?[/quote]

I don't know if it will be different this time, but it's worth the try.[/quote]

Yeah, like Putin once said.. Everything will propably never be OK, but we have to try.


This topic has a lot of usefull info OSIT. Sometimes I delve in it to search for old comments relevant to the thoughts I have. (soul seeking)

 

[Ca.]

The Greatest Hope Lies In The Justice Of One’s Cause (Podcast)
May 24, 2019 Quintus Curtius
“In war the greatest hope lies in the justice of one’s cause.” This is a line from the historian Appian (IV.12.97), who lived from about 95 A.D. to 165 A.D. We discuss what this line means, and how we can apply it to our own lives.

For those who are interested, the last sentence below is the quoted line from Appian:

https://soundcloud.com/quintus-curtius-536484035%2Fthe-greatest-hope-lies-in-the-justice-of-ones-cause

Run Time 14:58

 

[Gwenllian]

Some of us are suffering greatly through this process. But many of us are also learning what suffering can be - how it can be transformed into something worthwhile; something useful. Who ever thought such a thing could be? Before coming here the only words I remember that even approaches this idea is, "if it doesn't kill you it'll make you stronger". Who could imagine that facing ourselves as we really are, and the world as it really is, as painful as it sometime is, could somehow be an important part in transforming life for our species? And yet that is exactly what it seems to come down to. At least in part. We have a chance to give our pain real meaning and serve as a catalyst for an almost unimaginably wonderful future. A fulfillment of a promise we may have given to our selves on some other level, that we are slowly but steadily becoming more and more aware of.

This has been my hope anyway. A fools hope? Maybe. But a part of me, despite what sometimes seem like ridiculous odds, and feels like incredibly complex circumstances, doesn't think so. That we're being shown paths to knowledge in every sphere of life that truly matters doesn't seem like mere chance or coincidence to me. There is something else at work here, clearly. Or many of us would not be here now, still thinking, still learning, still striving, and sometimes, still suffering. In the face of trying times like these - where the voices of fear, confusion and great tragedy seem right on our doorstep, many of us are still at it for a reason.

That reason, I believe, is that no matter how difficult things are for us individually, we know that, ultimately, we are working to serve a cause so much larger than our own comforts. So much bigger than our own desires to live quiet "normal" lives. We each, in our own small way, would like to raise up awareness and hope - in humanity - that we can live in a far far better way. And I am grateful to be a part of this; a person - among many here - who are seeking to support and be the benefactors of - the leaders of a real future.

This is a wonderful thread and I wanted to revive it as it contains many wonderful posts which could help newbies, board-lurkers and oldies alike in terms of preparing for 'a new reality' without feeling despondent OSIT.

Also, revisiting older threads makes for interesting reading as we may notice how some things have changed for us as we have grown over the years and are getting rid of these 'limiting emotions' and beliefs in favour of our higher ones. If that's not a message of hope, then what is?