Sitting there is not going to help anyone. Go and kneel in front of her and apologize. Really apologize. And apologize again. If you love her.
How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Joe
- Start date
Sitting there is not going to help anyone. Go and kneel in front of her and apologize. Really apologize. And apologize again. If you love her.
Evan
The Living Force
She’s sleeping. Truth be told I’ve done it a thousand times. She doesn’t want to hear me talk right now. I wrote her the following the morning after:
My Dearest,
In a life where every day is the same as the last, and the next, I am grateful. I’m grateful for the sight of you sleeping in your bed, the sound of your little waking chattering with the baby (our cat), and for the first daily sight of your smile. Without those things, this life, with its pain, its illness, its mundane day to day sameness, there is no light. There is only sadness and surrender. I’m so deeply remorseful of my many fatal flaws; so very despairing of the pain they bring to you; the hurtful impact upon your life and spirit. I cannot ask for forgiveness or beg for yet another chance to be someone I’ve repeatedly proven incapable of becoming. I can only hope that you will know, beneath it all, that my love for you is and always has been as real and true as anything I’ve ever believed in. The idea that you’re prepared to go is something that I cannot express in words. I can only hope, not ask, but hope that you’ll find a way to move forward without moving away. Not from me. Please, my sweet, don’t let me push you away until I’m in the dark. Please let there be some other way to stay in the light with you.
Hey Evan. Just take some slow breaths, brother.
Whatever will be, will be, it's how you use your time and experience to be in the present moment and continue to remain present (not catastrophising) and go with the flow, in tandem with the awareness that comes from within. You and Wendy are both hurting deeply, trying to cope with the current situation and there is great overwhelm for you both; this situation has been very challenging for you both for a long time. This woman loves you, otherwise I feel she would have bailed long ago.
It's late at night where you are. You are probably pretty exhausted after your medication episode and all these powerful emotions and worrying. I think it would help to focus on getting as much rest and balance as possible in terms of your own mind, what is happening within yourself, get the wheels in your head to slow down and try your hardest to stop catastrophising. I know it's not easy, but you are digging a very deep hole for yourself and it will be harder to clamber out of that later.
This too, dear brother, shall pass.
Was thinking, could you do one of Laura's meditations just to help ground and centre yourself, get your breath and heart rate as calm as possible? Might help you sleep (and receive some guidance in your dreams if you ask for it?)
And as others have shared here, you are connected to many souls you have connected with through your life, as well as through this beautiful tribe; you are seen, you are loved and witnessed - not only by souls here, but also by those beyond this realm. Much of what you worry about and hyper focus on will likely seem very unimportant when you are finally in a more expanded state, but for now, while in your 3D body, this is the only 'reality' you can - on a practical level - give your attention to, for the most part. So, I gently encourage you to make that attention count, as best you can - under these very trying circumstances.
Right now you are hurting powerfully on a multitude of levels and struggling to see what comes next, frantically flailing around and REALLY stressing yourself out. Those meds haven't helped and the fallout has been pretty shocking for you both; that's hard for you and it's also really hard for Wendy to witness and cope with.
Take loving action to care for yourself, Evan. If you feel you need medical support (it kinda sounds like it), please reach out.
You deserve powerful support.
Pain does terrible things to us - in turn we can do and say terrible things.
But that is not the truth of WHO we are.
A gentle hug to you...
and prayers of light-love-knowledge to support you, as you journey forward.
Whatever will be, will be, it's how you use your time and experience to be in the present moment and continue to remain present (not catastrophising) and go with the flow, in tandem with the awareness that comes from within. You and Wendy are both hurting deeply, trying to cope with the current situation and there is great overwhelm for you both; this situation has been very challenging for you both for a long time. This woman loves you, otherwise I feel she would have bailed long ago.
It's late at night where you are. You are probably pretty exhausted after your medication episode and all these powerful emotions and worrying. I think it would help to focus on getting as much rest and balance as possible in terms of your own mind, what is happening within yourself, get the wheels in your head to slow down and try your hardest to stop catastrophising. I know it's not easy, but you are digging a very deep hole for yourself and it will be harder to clamber out of that later.
This too, dear brother, shall pass.
Was thinking, could you do one of Laura's meditations just to help ground and centre yourself, get your breath and heart rate as calm as possible? Might help you sleep (and receive some guidance in your dreams if you ask for it?)
As a soul, every single thing you have experienced/done/said/thought etc is witnessed and recorded beyond this reality. You are seen in ways you cannot even begin to dream of, in terms of seeing and knowing yourself. Nothing about your experiences/memories will evaporate (even though there may be some things you might even feel you wanted to erase!) . How do you think that when we pass back into our more expanded state when we transition, our soul gets to review/re-experience not only our own journey and actions but also (just as importantly) the perspective of other souls we have connected/interacted with? (positive / negative).
And as others have shared here, you are connected to many souls you have connected with through your life, as well as through this beautiful tribe; you are seen, you are loved and witnessed - not only by souls here, but also by those beyond this realm. Much of what you worry about and hyper focus on will likely seem very unimportant when you are finally in a more expanded state, but for now, while in your 3D body, this is the only 'reality' you can - on a practical level - give your attention to, for the most part. So, I gently encourage you to make that attention count, as best you can - under these very trying circumstances.
Right now you are hurting powerfully on a multitude of levels and struggling to see what comes next, frantically flailing around and REALLY stressing yourself out. Those meds haven't helped and the fallout has been pretty shocking for you both; that's hard for you and it's also really hard for Wendy to witness and cope with.
Take loving action to care for yourself, Evan. If you feel you need medical support (it kinda sounds like it), please reach out.
You deserve powerful support.
Pain does terrible things to us - in turn we can do and say terrible things.
But that is not the truth of WHO we are.
A gentle hug to you...
and prayers of light-love-knowledge to support you, as you journey forward.
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