How are you feeling?

Rhythmik said:
Je sais depuis un certain temps que le réseautage est essentiel, mais j'avais l'impression de n'avoir rien à apporter au forum, trouvant les discussions ici très intelligentes et hésitant à contribuer, de peur de faire du bruit.
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In my opinion, networking, beyond what you can contribute, is above all a dynamic that allows your mind to connect to a creative source, in this case the forum. Because in this way you grow in your reasoning and your life choices. I participate irregularly, but what is important to me is the spontaneity and energetic exchange that fuels a true quest for truth.
 
For several days now I've had a mixture of something like pressure sensation and accelerations in the solar plexus area.

Something like the calm before the storm.

Increased electromagnetic field due to solar activity or increased pressure from the artificial field that surrounds us (Wi-Fi and others) can perhaps explain it to them.

For some time now, there have been many people who act like zombies, but today it was very noticeable.

I have noticed people very nervous.
 
Rhythmik said:
I'm generally in control of my emotions and very supportive of others but I do have a tendency to inadvertently provoke when I tell myself that I'm just trying to educate or inform others. And my tendency for self-indulgence would at times get out of control. My intuition is very strong but so has been my ability to ignore it or rationalize certain feelings away. But now whenever I'm in altered states I feel a type of anxiety that is no longer possible to ignore. It feels like a warning about wasting my time/energy when it should be being put to better use.
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A recommendation was recently made, not to me directly, but I nevertheless I try to take all recommendations seriously form Forum members (thank you @Turgon!). I've just got myself copies of "Introduction to Internal Family Systems", "No Bad Parts" and "The Internal Family Systems Workbook" - all by Richard Schwartz. Having now started to seriously work with this model I can tell you that the penny has quite dramatically dropped on a number of things! The basic premise is that we are a multiplicity and the model provides a practical way of engaging with those parts of ourselves that do things like 'provoke others' and tell us to 'get at it' and stop wasting time and energy; those little 'I's', in Gurdjieff's terms, that prevent us from acting with a unified and authentic Self (of so I understand it so far).
I didn't want to overload you with suggestions, but investigating this therapeutic model for yourself could be a real boon! For my part, the Internal Family Systems model has so far highlighted to me where I've previously gone wrong when trying to work with (in my case, suppress or 'shoo away') my own little I's.
 
Wandering Star said:
For several days now I've had a mixture of something like pressure sensation and accelerations in the solar plexus area.

Something like the calm before the storm.

Increased electromagnetic field due to solar activity or increased pressure from the artificial field that surrounds us (Wi-Fi and others) can perhaps explain it to them.

For some time now, there have been many people who act like zombies, but today it was very noticeable.

I have noticed people very nervous.
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And now I happen to read the following in the session I am reading:
Laura said:
Q: ... (Scottie) I think I know what the Disturbance in the Force is.

(L) What?

(Scottie) Remember I was telling you the other day that something was up? This seems like a pretty big disturbance in the Force, dontcha think?

(L) Yeah!

(Scottie) It was like a day or two before the Charlie Hebdo thing that I mentioned it.

(L) Oh yeah.

(Scottie) People here were feeling squirrelly, couldn't sleep, having headaches, bad dreams and all that stuff. Something was clearly "off"... And then: KABOOM!

(Andromeda) It's sickening.


[Lengthy Q & A segment REDACTED by legal advice]
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I hope not.
 
I started engaging in IFS around the 3rd October after its mention by @iamthatis in the September session thread and got the books mentioned above by @Il Matto after @Turgon brought them up.

Its definitely seems a powerful tool and stuff is gradually getting sorted out. Things have been getting a bit weird and confusing though. I made a lot of notes on the process so I will just cover the main parts that have been on my mind.

Early on when trying to listen to certain parts’ desires, one wanted to do singing and music. Which seemed like one of the easier things to participate with because that can be done anywhere even internally.
After trying to sort out parts a bit more I ended up observing some angry part which eventually became apologetic. When it began apologizing in earnest, which was some days later I noticed I too was being observed by a higher authority. I saw I had failed in my responsibilities to keep things in order internally in mirror to the part I had been observing and this made me also feel rather sorrowful and apologetic appreciating I had made the same mistakes in a different manner.
I understood that my peculiar fear I had of being observed by people I knew that were deceased was actually a fear of being observed by some higher self. Visually I received an image of an old man in a white suit, sitting on a bench feeding ducks. I agreed to open up and stop shutting it out and trying to hide from it, when I did, I noticed the musical part was in fact part of one of the higher centers (or at least had that impression).

I guess I am struggling to process it all given so much of this is all intuition and mental imagery and feels more reliant on faith. The ‘higher self’ encounter only took place on the 18th and things seem to be moving rather fast since. I was not quite sure if I had a minds eye before but I definitely feel as if I have one now. Like the barrier from Laura’s protection meditation I can see it’s there if I look for it or at least a representation not with my real eyes but its instant like looking rather than thinking.
It’s all rather sudden maybe because I was previously blocking influences in some manner and now stopped doing so suddenly or at least increased the flow.
I get the sense I haven’t kept up enough with reading homework and am going over Paul again and looking at Gurdjieff’s stuff, Cass wiki terminology and checking over the recommended reading (suggestions or relevant extracts are welcome).
I am wondering whether so much of the literary information is written in allegory and symbolism because it would be difficult to explain things directly without sounding mad.
 
Lately, ca the past two weeks, I've repeatedly been waking up around 3:00 or 3:30 in the middle of the night after having a nightmare, then having real trouble falling asleep again. Interestingly, my wife has lately had nightmares, too. My energy levels have been very low, maybe because of this disturbance in sleep patterns, or...maybe it's something else. At times, it feels like someone or something is intentionally disturbing me during the night, pretty much exactly at 3:00.

Last night I dreamt about how there's no free will – I was "shown" how everything we do, and everything that happens is 'directed' and decided by a hidden hand, and not in a good way. It felt quite real and convincing, quite disturbing, and it made me angry! Of course, after having woken up I do believe there is free will, and that we have it if we choose to. However, the nightmare made me wonder...maybe more than what we suspect of what we do and what happens is directed and steered by 4DSTS? Were 'they' boasting about their capabilities in my dream?
 
just to let everyone know i'm still around and reading everyday. thursday am fell out of bed and fractured my wrist in 6 places. how is that from a 2ft.drop.
anyway i'm typing this with my left hand whilst my right hand is in a cast. my fingers are like chipolatas and the pain killers hit and miss. go to the fracture dept tomorrow to see if the traction worked and if not i'm supposed to have an operation. i'm sorry there are no capital letters but just wanted to let everyone know i've not abandoned ship. love and kindest regards to you all.
 
Wandering Star said:
And now I happen to read the following in the session I am reading:

I hope not.
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I have hardly slept for nearly two weeks, when I say hardly I mean getting about 5 or 6 hours but waking up a lot. There’s may be some personal explanations, knowing I’ll be woken at 4am by my toddler to start the day, too many carbs, not enough exercise, smoking too much…, also I just feel unsettled, have trouble relaxing, feeling resistance while doing meditations, which could all be a result of the above too.

Yet we are ‘wave reading consciousness units’ so there’d be no doubt we are picking up on the subtle things our brains can’t rationalise we just know something is ‘off’ because of the body’s feedback loop screaming at us to be on high alert.
 
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