How does one recover valuable resources from the shadow and use them for growth?
- Thread starter webglider
- Start date
go2 said:
Oh I am with you go2 - this sounds so familiar. What has been revealed to me this Autumn has been stunning to say the least. And it is still sinking in. This is one point: I would "feel for" those suffering in Africa and Palestine but basically a cold stone to people closer to me in my life - what's that all about? Well, we can see what that is about - now that the buffers are slowly being removed I am glimpsing that shadow. Although I get these jabs of pain time-to-time (some signs of softness in the cracks of the stone), I find this process compellingly interesting, even though it is slow and incremental, and there is no turning back.
webglider
Dagobah Resident
Quote from Laura
I have. When I was banned, I consulted three and worked with one. She is a very nice lady, and I spoke to her continually about fracking. The only insight that I gained from the year and several months that I worked with her was when she asked why I always arrived late. This was really hard for me to explain, as I am very familiar with the NYC subway system and never take the wrong train to anywhere else. In fact, even when I was on the right train, I would think it was the wrong train, and I would change at the next stop.
One day, when she asked me again why I had arrived too late to have the session, I burst into tears, and told her that it was because I didn't think therapy would work. That was really the only honest moment I had with her, and I didn't even know that was the reason until I said it. It was that experience that gave me a sense of how powerful my unconscious is and how much it is controlling my actions, and how much I don't know about myself.
I got the idea of accessing the unconscious and the little i's from William Patrick Patterson's Spiritual Survival in a Radically Changing World Time which present reports of student observation of the different centers and how they manifest in everyday life. We also did some of that work when I was in a 4th Way School, but I didn't really take the observations seriously then.
Because of the insight about what happens to me when I don't set boundaries I was able to avert being upset with my daughter when she came into my room without asking. I wanted to be alone, I had just stopped crying and was processing what had happened, and I realized that I didn't have to allow her in my room at that time. So I just her that, and she left. No anger, no drama, just a setting of limits.
This morning's obsevation was pretty innocuous, but important, I think. I observed that when I tense my toes so that they reach towards the ball of my foot, I hold the breath, the eyes become rigid and stare straight ahead, and the neck tenses. When I uncurl the toes, everything softens. This is information that I am already beginning to use.
I never take on anything that I can't handle. This project was carefully thought out. When I saw the video, I felt it was the time to do this work. I will never be able to do this with a therapist.
However, if you feel that it's inappropriate for the forum, I will stop posting the observations.
I have. When I was banned, I consulted three and worked with one. She is a very nice lady, and I spoke to her continually about fracking. The only insight that I gained from the year and several months that I worked with her was when she asked why I always arrived late. This was really hard for me to explain, as I am very familiar with the NYC subway system and never take the wrong train to anywhere else. In fact, even when I was on the right train, I would think it was the wrong train, and I would change at the next stop.
One day, when she asked me again why I had arrived too late to have the session, I burst into tears, and told her that it was because I didn't think therapy would work. That was really the only honest moment I had with her, and I didn't even know that was the reason until I said it. It was that experience that gave me a sense of how powerful my unconscious is and how much it is controlling my actions, and how much I don't know about myself.
I got the idea of accessing the unconscious and the little i's from William Patrick Patterson's Spiritual Survival in a Radically Changing World Time which present reports of student observation of the different centers and how they manifest in everyday life. We also did some of that work when I was in a 4th Way School, but I didn't really take the observations seriously then.
Because of the insight about what happens to me when I don't set boundaries I was able to avert being upset with my daughter when she came into my room without asking. I wanted to be alone, I had just stopped crying and was processing what had happened, and I realized that I didn't have to allow her in my room at that time. So I just her that, and she left. No anger, no drama, just a setting of limits.
This morning's obsevation was pretty innocuous, but important, I think. I observed that when I tense my toes so that they reach towards the ball of my foot, I hold the breath, the eyes become rigid and stare straight ahead, and the neck tenses. When I uncurl the toes, everything softens. This is information that I am already beginning to use.
I never take on anything that I can't handle. This project was carefully thought out. When I saw the video, I felt it was the time to do this work. I will never be able to do this with a therapist.
However, if you feel that it's inappropriate for the forum, I will stop posting the observations.
webglider
Dagobah Resident
Laura wrote:
It's inconsistant. One of my aims is to work towards creating consistantcy. I didn't think to include observing my diet, but, when you brought it up it became obvious that since diet directly affects the body, diet needs to be observed as well.
I approached this project in the manner I would design a syllabus for a semester by breaking the course of study into units and focusing on mastering one unit before I proceded to the next.
I began with study of the body because I could use the mind to observe the interaction between the it and the emotions. I was so focused on the equation action x = emotion y that I didn't think of anything else. Since I'm really focused on understanding the undercurrents of my emotional life, I wanted to be as honest, and accurate as possible in reporting the information I was receiving, so I didn't censor anything. I understand that as the Adminstrator you feel a responisbilty for the well being of everyone on this forum. I just thought it would be understood that I wouldn't go beyond what I could handle.
It does seem that a unit including diet would provide more information than just studying postures, movements and the emotions they evoke.
Perhaps I can incorporate all three into the first unit and use the mind as an observer. Since I identified the mind itself as a major buffer that filters out reality, I want to sideline it to a certain extent by giving it a supporting role in helping me figure out the link between the moving center and the emotions.
I'm wondering if all of this is creating too much noise, and that maybe I should just stop posting on this subject, or just post a summary every once in a while.
It's inconsistant. One of my aims is to work towards creating consistantcy. I didn't think to include observing my diet, but, when you brought it up it became obvious that since diet directly affects the body, diet needs to be observed as well.
I approached this project in the manner I would design a syllabus for a semester by breaking the course of study into units and focusing on mastering one unit before I proceded to the next.
I began with study of the body because I could use the mind to observe the interaction between the it and the emotions. I was so focused on the equation action x = emotion y that I didn't think of anything else. Since I'm really focused on understanding the undercurrents of my emotional life, I wanted to be as honest, and accurate as possible in reporting the information I was receiving, so I didn't censor anything. I understand that as the Adminstrator you feel a responisbilty for the well being of everyone on this forum. I just thought it would be understood that I wouldn't go beyond what I could handle.
It does seem that a unit including diet would provide more information than just studying postures, movements and the emotions they evoke.
Perhaps I can incorporate all three into the first unit and use the mind as an observer. Since I identified the mind itself as a major buffer that filters out reality, I want to sideline it to a certain extent by giving it a supporting role in helping me figure out the link between the moving center and the emotions.
I'm wondering if all of this is creating too much noise, and that maybe I should just stop posting on this subject, or just post a summary every once in a while.
webglider
Dagobah Resident
quote from Laura:
Thank you. I will.
I just found this thread. http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,25028.0.html In many ways its addressing the same issue about the connection between specific postures and emotions with the level of discussion on a much higher level.
Thank you. I will.
I just found this thread. http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,25028.0.html In many ways its addressing the same issue about the connection between specific postures and emotions with the level of discussion on a much higher level.
A.K.
Padawan Learner
Laura said:
Thank you for these links. Am reading them now......... Never thought it can be broken down to simpler understandable concepts until now.
This is such a gem. It is something to which i am trying to grasp for a while. And it is awfully similar a Buddha quote, “The stages of the Noble Path are: Right View, Right Thought, Right Speech, Right Behavior, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration.”
beetlemaniac
The Living Force
A.K. said:
I think that sticking to the Right Diet will cover a lot of those stages! Have you started the Low-Carb diet?
Check out the threads here if you haven't already:
http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,22916.0.html
http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,20771.0.html
beetlemaniac
The Living Force
Laura said:
You're telling me! I used to be a "Hindu." It's so hard to get my family to get on the train though... a lot of them still think that being vegetarian is a "noble" thing. And that eating meat is barbaric and a sin. Well, it's noble in the sense that you voluntarily become a sick animal.
Jeremy F Kreuz
Dagobah Resident
I have been reading this thread with much interest. More than giving direct advice I would like to express my understanding of this topic. Please do correct if I am way in the left field.
I see accepting aspects of the self that have been hiding in the shadow into the consicious awareness as realizing that those aspects are mere tactics and nothing more than tactics. Everything that I perceive as a bad action (cheating, stealing, being to pushy, being to hard, standing up for myself and so many more) I somehow stored into the shadow, locked it up, buffered the access and than pretent that it does not exist. It is because I am afraid to use them as I perceive them as bad no matter what. What I realized is that they are tactics and that is the strategy in which these tactics are used that determine whether the tactics are used for good or bad. Therefore a stategy that is decided by knowledge, awareness to achieve something and that uses those tactics can lead to good results and there is therefore nothing wrong with them. The tactics in such a strategy will be used in the proper way, proportionatley and adapted to the circumstances because they are the best tactics to use in that specific situation. On the other hand a stragey that has been decided for me by some outside force that is manipulating me for its own objectives, will misuse these tactics just as it misuses me. therefore nothing can good can from such a use of those tactics. It seems therefore for me that why I originally stored those tactics away in the shadow was that I experienced (starting as a child) that those tacticts were abused all the time. It is only when I can see them as tactics (and I only start doing that recently) and can use them in my own strategy, that I can deal with them.
if this does not make sense, please point out.
I see accepting aspects of the self that have been hiding in the shadow into the consicious awareness as realizing that those aspects are mere tactics and nothing more than tactics. Everything that I perceive as a bad action (cheating, stealing, being to pushy, being to hard, standing up for myself and so many more) I somehow stored into the shadow, locked it up, buffered the access and than pretent that it does not exist. It is because I am afraid to use them as I perceive them as bad no matter what. What I realized is that they are tactics and that is the strategy in which these tactics are used that determine whether the tactics are used for good or bad. Therefore a stategy that is decided by knowledge, awareness to achieve something and that uses those tactics can lead to good results and there is therefore nothing wrong with them. The tactics in such a strategy will be used in the proper way, proportionatley and adapted to the circumstances because they are the best tactics to use in that specific situation. On the other hand a stragey that has been decided for me by some outside force that is manipulating me for its own objectives, will misuse these tactics just as it misuses me. therefore nothing can good can from such a use of those tactics. It seems therefore for me that why I originally stored those tactics away in the shadow was that I experienced (starting as a child) that those tacticts were abused all the time. It is only when I can see them as tactics (and I only start doing that recently) and can use them in my own strategy, that I can deal with them.
if this does not make sense, please point out.
Jeremy F Kreuz
Dagobah Resident
HI Oxajil,
Examples could be:
Suppose I get in contact with a person where I can observe several charateristics in that person that led me to believe that he might be psychopath than a conscious strategy would be not to engage with that person and use all the possible tactics to create as much as possible distance between that person and me. Being confrontational would not be a good tactic for instance, but finding excuses to get away from him might be. If on the other hand I would allow myself unconsciously to get dragged into his games and do things that he wants me to do, than I would become a tool of his manipulations. this could easily happen when I do not use all the necessary tactics, but instead stick to my usual behavior to be nice to persons, to give them several changes and not allow myself to use those tactics that are stuffed away in the shadow.
I had recently such a encounter. I was with my son at a mountainbike trail where I met another dad where I started suspecting he might be a psychopath or at least a very dominating personality for which I had quickly no desire whatsoever to have further contact with or creating the possibility where my son would be invited to play with his son at his place. We talked while our sons were riding their bikes. When we were about to leave, he asked me for my mobile number so that we could ´hook up again´. I felt that it would be problematic to refuse this as he probably would not have accepted not understood so instead I gave him a wrong number. If instead I would have refused to use this tactic and forced myself to be nice and give him my number, as this is the thing you do as a nice open person, I would have created new opportuinities for him.
Hope this makes sense
