I've had a similar line of thought. I work, also manual labour, but love music, drawing, and writing. I found that this poem by Khalil Gibran helped me to see work in an entirely new way - as a creative service to the world, like loreta said.
In essence, the world is as it is and it's important to accept that. Poverty will exist as long as the world still spins. This means that many people who have some kind of latent artistic drive who are in jobs that prevent them from practicing their art will face a choice. It's important to remember that we always have a choice.
Even if we're run down by our jobs, we can choose to hear this creative call of the Soul, or not. This is a significant lesson for many, I think - to accept the world and all its difficulties, and then at the same time make the choice to be a creator. I am reminded that Mary Baolgh wrote her first romance novel in the evenings after dinner at the kitchen table.
I lived as a poor labourer for many years. It was only recently that I realized that this was the product of the choices I made, choices that came from somewhere deep in my unconscious belief centre. I had made a silent vow of poverty. Then I started working on changing that, choice by choice, and day by day - and now I'm slightly less poor labourer! It's not been a huge change, but it's a step up nonetheless. It has also meant taking on even more work - but I have discovered that I have more energy than I was allowing myself to believe.
At the same time, I've also found time to continue to make music, draw, and write. It's a very important part of my schedule. I actually find that as I work more, the creativity flows more, too. The Gibran poem above helped me with that at the beginning of this year. I think in part this has to do with spending less time in my head, and more time with the pen on the page, and trusting in the process. I have less time, so it is more precious. I've seen that taking on more work at my job and meeting new challenges has built confidence and faith in myself. This attitude can then be transferred to artistic endeavours, too.
I'm reading that perhaps what you are talking about is wanting more of a work-life balance, is that correct? I've noticed that you've posted about wanting to create more - but are you putting your energy into creativity? It's one thing to express want, but another thing to make it an Aim. The fire has to be fed. Or as pecha said, the castle has to be built, stone by stone.
Hi thanks for this post and reaching out to me, and taking the time to write this wonderful poem!
It brought me back to myself and reminded me of some important things, like the love of work and how fulfilling even the simplest things can be in those little moments of life..
And you raised some interesting points and as I've experienced the same kind of mindset with regard to things like making the vow of poverty as you say, and how it is our choices that are at the centre of everything.
About the mindset that keeps us in poverty.. This is something I've been trying to get my head around and it's almost like I've beaten myself up and something subconsciously says that I don't deserve to prosper, be happy or successful.
And the thinking to myself is along the lines of - well HP, why should you feel good or happy or have a decent home when so many others are suffering? Who are you to benefit in any way from life when others are in misery and have nothing? You must suffer! Maybe this is some weird STS guilt programming.. Probably.. The voice that tells me that I'm guilty for all the misfortune of the world or something like that. And as the C's say this guilt is like an ego driven thing. I mean why should it have anything to do with me? Maybe stuff happens in people's lives for karmic reasons, and for many reasons way beyond me.. Which doesn't mean i could ever stop feeling compassion, sorrow and love for people. Just not guilt and regret. Or something like that..
And I've realised, well how does it help anyone at all if I'm not able to be happy, healthy or prosper? It would hurt them more actually, especially those close to me. The thought was, you can give yourself permission to prosper, you are worth something, just like how you feel that others are worth something. You are allowed to do the things you love like art and music, like hiking cycling and dance, like working hard to find a decent house and home, and bringing positive people into your life.
And this would mean that I would be able to give and share more! Not to share to get anything in return... More as an expression of inner being. And so with prayer for help and meditation the answers are more like, take back your lesson of life to favour you spiritual, mental and physical well being.
As if I'm not happy, then those around me aren't either.
Was thinking about what the C's said one day, that we are all murderers or suicides.. And what it meant. Maybe those of us who are STO candidate are programmed for self destruct, and are programmed to not feel worthy, with the kind of self defeating thought processes that I'm trying to explain about.
And maybe those who are STS are the opposite and so by default, the things that they do are taking from others, which ultimately leads to damaging them in some way, even if they can't see it or don't have that intention.
And your absolutely right, making improvements does require double the effort, but even the opportunity and energy to MAKE the effort, to have the ability to DO the thing is in itself a great blessing, as I've seen dear ones who would have loved to have anywhere near the health and well being that I have, and thank you for reminding me..
And about the better standard of living, i mean it's not like I'm saying we have to be really wealthy or live to excess materially, more like have the stability and balance that a reasonable living wage can provide, that can afford a healthy place to be in life.
And about the love of work, thanks once again for reminding me. As i do love, just
doing. Maybe I've been down about it as the jobs I've done recently haven't been too hygienic and have caused health problems like the rash etc.. And even the workshop at the bike place had no natural light or air, so a lot of the sprays lubes and stuff like disc brake cleaner, were lingering in the air and these things are no good for anyone. .
But on the positive side about manual work it's great to do something that keeps you active and fit, keeps you moving which is one of the reasons apart from not being naturally good at them, that I chose not to learn the skills more related to office based work, and as you say it's all about our choices..
And yes I reckon is prob just about balance, and say if there was a job that isn't too unhygienic and doesn't evolve too many chemicals then great! But unfortunately it's not always easy to avoid, so sometimes it's just damage limitation, or the best alternative. And acceptance of the world being the way it is definitely.
I'm really glad you've found a way to do your creative work and get a better job too, great.
I'll definitely get there.. Will just take hard work, time and patience.. And help from others which you have been a great help.
And even being able to work, once again, is a great blessing and need to constantly remind myself of this.
Even if the cleaning job isn't clean, gonna wear more PPE just see how it goes as the hours are good actually, and the boss is a lovely bloke. I'm also grateful that they took me back after I left. Thank you loads and loads again for your positive words bless.