How to Stay Sane in an Insane World

Laura

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At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

Insist that your email address is: Xena-Warrior-Princess@companyname.com

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'

Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."

Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

Dont use any punctuation

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.)

Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in Stall #3."

Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything...

Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!" "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do."

Tell your children over dinner: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

Every time you see a broom, yell "Honey, your mother is here!"
 
I once rescued a valentine card amongst stuff that my son was throwing out. When you opened it, it activated the voice of a woman moaning in ecstasy, so to say. I thought it might be a bit of fun to put it to the phone and open it up when you get one of those annoying phone calls trying to sell you something.

Say something like “can you hold on a minute?”

Then you open it. :evil:

I never had the guts to do it though. :/
 
:lol2:


Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."


These are my favorites, :flowers:
 
Sing along at the opera.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!" "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

These are my favourites, thanks Laura for a good belly laugh. :lol:
 
Haha thanks Laura,
Laura said:
When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"


Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
:lol2:

I don't know how I've stayed sane this long without doing these. haha Maybe I'm not!

Peam said:
I once rescued a valentine card amongst stuff that my son was throwing out. When you opened it, it activated the voice of a woman moaning in ecstasy, so to say. I thought it might be a bit of fun to put it to the phone and open it up when you get one of those annoying phone calls trying to sell you something.

Say something like “can you hold on a minute?”

Then you open it.

Oh no that's funny haha
 
"At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down."

Boy! Would that be FUN!!!

I can visualize people stomping on their brakes!

Thanks for the laughs.
 
Stick your thumb in your ear with the pinky finger
close to front of your mouth and pretend you are
talking on a cell phone with someone and very
loudly.

Caveat: Don't do this while driving, you might get
pulled over for talking on the "cell phone"...
 
AWESOME :lol: Thank YOU Laura :)

Really needed the laugh.

Favorites:

In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in Stall #3." -Done it like this: As I will be on vacation, Mr. So-So (the Boss) will take my messages -then give his voice mail extension. Of course all this without him knowing.

Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard. Something to this effect is to: Greet, as in good-morning; good-afternoon; invite people into your office; Agree with them on any matter of a proposal, and as they thank you, ALWAYS follow with the remark -NOW NEAL BEFORE ZHOD!!



Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy." This one I need to use, as I live here the BIBLE-Belt frequency fence.

Thanks again Laura :D
 
Laura said:
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."

Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."


Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.


Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.)

Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in Stall #3."

Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.


When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!" "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do."

Tell your children over dinner: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
These were hilarious :D
 
Guardian said:
Laura said:
Call the psychic hotline ...

and when they ask for your credit card number, say "Guess"

I actually got a call from the Psychic Hotline once back in the mid 90's. Here's the conversation as best I can remember.

PH Woman: "Hi, I'm calling from the Psychic Hotline. We have an important message for you regarding your future. Would you like to chat with a live psychic for only $1.99 a minute?" (or whatever the actual price was)
Me "Wow, real live psychics?"
PH Woman "Yes, that's right."
Me "Well then, if they are real psychics, shouldn't they know that I'm not interested?"
PH Woman (Getting upset) "Well I'm not a psychic! I don't know!"
Me "Uh huh. Goodbye"
 

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