I tried a new session today but I couldn't even wait for the pressure to build up. the anxiety rose, I wanted to cry because I feel like I'm going into a coffin and I'm going to die... it's too hard for me, no matter what I do to calm down and fight
I had the same reaction as you. I still don't "love it", but I am close to 40 sessions. If I can do it, anyone can!
I don't need it anymore, but for the first 15 sessions or so I started chewing
rescue remedy gum as soon as I was inside the chamber. It helped both my ears and my anxiety.
Like you, listening or reading did not help me, and of course, focusing on my breathing or my body sensations would have been bad advice in my case because the way my body felt inside the chamber was what made me panic.
I started watching the series
Big Bang Theory on my phone or tablet. It's light, makes me laugh, and my mind is totally dissociated from what my body feels. 3 episodes back to back and the session is over. You can also do half-hour sessions even to start with. Don't try to watch things for learning, or anything serious. Pick a comedy that's totally silly.
Last but not least, since you live alone, it might help to have a friend on the phone while you start the session, just to offer you words of support and reassurance. Anybody you can trust in lifting your mood and feeling safe listening to them.
What I can tell you for sure:
You will not die in the chamber. It's impossible, with all the oxygen you are getting. Plus your heart is beating really fast because of the anxiety, that's a sign of strong physical vitality if not mental.
You will not faint in the chamber, again, too much oxygen.
If you want to get out immediately at any point, just press the emergency button and you could be out pretty quickly. It might hurt your ears but nothing else negative will happen to you. If it wasn't safe, they wouldn't have installed it for our use.
Sometimes I try to take my anxiety and pretend that it's excitement instead. My heart beats fast because I am so excited about this new adventure I am on not because I am scared!
The first time I made it all the way through a session I cried so hard (out of desperation because I felt like such a failure) that I was entirely exhausted to feel much anxiety in the end.
So, I wouldn't give up yet if I were you. Try out all kinds of things, fail, try again, as many times as you need to, and I am sure it will start feeling easier and easier with time. And you don't have to love it. You can go in and be honest about how much you hate it, and still do it (that was my first dozen times).
I hope any of the above can be of help to you. Best of luck, Abats