I keep slipping

[RyanX]

Way back, when this forum was just a little yahoo group, I was also a member. The topic being discussed on the forum at that time, was meeting your polar opposite. This guy from the forum wrote me everyday, seemingly just wanting to 'discuss' and 'share' things, and we even talked via MSN. He had this idea, that I might be HIS polar opposite.
Little by little he crossed the line without me even realizing it, I don't think he did it intentionally though.

He was an older man (or at least older than me!), and had read alot more material than me, and was very helpful... or so I thought. I was very emotional unstable, going through a divorce at the time.
Anyway, it got way out of hand. He crossed the line BIG time, and I withdraw from the Cass yahoo site completely, not telling anyway why. I was convinced, that I had somehow brought this on myself. I know now, that I didn't. I also know now, that keeping everything outhere in an open forum, is the only way, we can make sure, that no one is feeding off of anyone.

Helle,

Thanks for sharing this. And no, you did not bring this on yourself as in "asking for it." However there may be some risk factors involved. A predator may have picked up, even subconsciously, on the fact that you were in an emotionally unstable state and tried to use this to his advantage. I think after a relationship break-up one is ripe for this sort of treatment.

Based on this history, have you considered changing your forum avatar to something a little less personal? You have a nice and friendly picture, but I can see how that could be a risk factor in a public online setting. FWIW.

 

[findit]

Helle...I was impressed that you recognized you were off track and made your own effort at coming back. I liked the dream where Laura was scolding you! Classic. I give you a high five and just continue to make efforts. There's plenty of people I know that won't even try, and I know that I struggle with it and I don't have a family, so keep on going and you'll be back in your groove in no time!

 

[Helle]

Based on this history, have you considered changing your forum avatar to something a little less personal? You have a nice and friendly picture, but I can see how that could be a risk factor in a public online setting. FWIW.

Yes, I have considered that. Out of pure lack'o time, I never changed it.

Thanks for sharing this. And no, you did not bring this on yourself as in "asking for it." However there may be some risk factors involved. A predator may have picked up, even subconsciously, on the fact that you were in an emotionally unstable state and tried to use this to his advantage. I think after a relationship break-up one is ripe for this sort of treatment.

It sure opened my eyes to my own behavior, and I spent a LOT of time, contemplating how I could have done things differently. The fact that I was enjoying the attention, is quite embarrassing, and I felt 'used' afterwards.
I wonder sometimes, if that guy's still around. I mean, he could be under any given forum name. I guess it doesn't matter anyway now, it was a LONG time ago. I learned my lesson. I'm sure he's learning his own.

 

[Nienna]

Helle,

I just want to add here, that feeding goes both ways. I am wondering if you may want to look at why you posted what you posted about feeling so lonely in the first place. Just a suggestion.