luke wilson
The Living Force
Archaea, sometimes if you feel something, I think it's important to ask yourself if that feeling is appropriate at that point in time and why. You need to ask yourself why you are feeling a particular emotion at a particular time and if it's correct (that you should be feeling that specific emotion at that time). The strength and validity of that feeling will help you know if maybe something else has been triggered that is expressing itself at that moment in time.
I always think people who don't have our best interest at heart have an advantage over us as they put us in states where they know we are uncomfortable with the emotions that will arise. Take the people who poisoned you, clearly you are someone who in real life isn't confrontational, so they put you in a position where you probably felt violated (a correct feeling) and you had to be confrontational but you are averse to expressing such emotions. They put you in a position of facing emotions you were uncomfortable with. Instead of justifying that you felt feeling confrontational emotions wasn't the right thing to do, instead you should acknowledge as you have now, that it's just an uncomfortable step for you. Maybe not if at that second, but at some point you should have let the person who did it know that it wasn't a cool thing to do, either by telling him (verbally or via a message) or by all together avoiding that person or group of people (as they clearly don't have your best interest at heart - poisoning is literally criminal behaviour) or by even calling the police on them.
It's up to you to read the situation and see what a valid response would be, maybe you didn't call the cops as these were gang members (you say other criminals were involved?) and that would put you in more danger, so maybe what you do is be grateful you survived and stop associating with criminal elements?
Also, I'm a big believer that nearly everything we learn is useful to us in one way or another, even those things that you think may not be useful e.g. for you having displaced emotions towards Laura. First of all, as stated above, when you feel this arise in you, ask yourself, is this valid in this situation? Why is it valid? What has Laura really done? For example, in that situation with the other member, Laura hasn't done anything at all, the person was angry and annoyed just because he was, in the end he put it down to needing proof and demanding it from Laura.
But you had something useful really to add, you and the person had a connection of some sort, due to your life experiences which has given rise in both of you, the same type of issues and this is why you felt triggered. But instead of approaching from your point of view, you were in a good position to elaborate the situation to the other person using that 'trigger' or 'connection' you felt and literally using yourself as a launch pad (as you know exactly where the person is coming from as you have that same grounding in you). You could have taken most of what you just said here and applied it to the other person...
In the situation, you'd have a supreme advantage, because your words would carry such a charge that they'll leave a mark behind that will be like a program acting in the background like a virus (a good type in this case!), by virtue of essentially being able to 'be one' with the situation the other person is facing (you can go in, combine, and apply force to pull them out) i.e. even if that person doesn't overcome their issue now, the process would have been set in motion.
You felt that connection and it was a strong and valid connection, you just approached it inappropriately because you skipped some basic steps at the beginning e.g. are these feelings connected to Laura/Forum or are they connected to something larger that I'm projecting onto Laura/Forum as this is a safe environment for them to be expressed?
Archaea, as you explore some of your dynamics and discover some things that you may classify as holding you prisoner in real life that you project onto a virtual environment (due to the relative safety of this environment) you'll probably find quite a lot to work with and probably really struggle to cross the thresholds you want to cross i.e. change yourself to what you want to become, but that doesn't mean that everything that you classify as holding you back can't be useful, if you just attain some level of dis-identification from YOU and the PROGRAMS. Accept that the programs rule but also accept they ARENT you. I think this is key. You'll literally separate into 2 within yourself, one that watches and one that acts and every now and again, this can be really useful. It can be especially useful when you run into a doppelganger as it were. ;)
I always think people who don't have our best interest at heart have an advantage over us as they put us in states where they know we are uncomfortable with the emotions that will arise. Take the people who poisoned you, clearly you are someone who in real life isn't confrontational, so they put you in a position where you probably felt violated (a correct feeling) and you had to be confrontational but you are averse to expressing such emotions. They put you in a position of facing emotions you were uncomfortable with. Instead of justifying that you felt feeling confrontational emotions wasn't the right thing to do, instead you should acknowledge as you have now, that it's just an uncomfortable step for you. Maybe not if at that second, but at some point you should have let the person who did it know that it wasn't a cool thing to do, either by telling him (verbally or via a message) or by all together avoiding that person or group of people (as they clearly don't have your best interest at heart - poisoning is literally criminal behaviour) or by even calling the police on them.
It's up to you to read the situation and see what a valid response would be, maybe you didn't call the cops as these were gang members (you say other criminals were involved?) and that would put you in more danger, so maybe what you do is be grateful you survived and stop associating with criminal elements?
Also, I'm a big believer that nearly everything we learn is useful to us in one way or another, even those things that you think may not be useful e.g. for you having displaced emotions towards Laura. First of all, as stated above, when you feel this arise in you, ask yourself, is this valid in this situation? Why is it valid? What has Laura really done? For example, in that situation with the other member, Laura hasn't done anything at all, the person was angry and annoyed just because he was, in the end he put it down to needing proof and demanding it from Laura.
But you had something useful really to add, you and the person had a connection of some sort, due to your life experiences which has given rise in both of you, the same type of issues and this is why you felt triggered. But instead of approaching from your point of view, you were in a good position to elaborate the situation to the other person using that 'trigger' or 'connection' you felt and literally using yourself as a launch pad (as you know exactly where the person is coming from as you have that same grounding in you). You could have taken most of what you just said here and applied it to the other person...
I think that after spending a lot of my life suppressing emotions, specifically my anger, my sub-conscious needs to find a way to express itself. [....] This caused a transference of my suppressed emotions onto the forum, and since Laura is the main character here, a whole series of internal narratives and projections were created revolving around her.
I can see this rationally because some of the things that irked me regarding Laura are things that I couldn't care less about if it were someone else. However, these projections and narratives aren't based on intellectual energy, but emotional energy. Until these emotions are resolved, I believe these projections and narratives will continue to be generated, if not with this forum and Laura as the focus, then someone else.
In the situation, you'd have a supreme advantage, because your words would carry such a charge that they'll leave a mark behind that will be like a program acting in the background like a virus (a good type in this case!), by virtue of essentially being able to 'be one' with the situation the other person is facing (you can go in, combine, and apply force to pull them out) i.e. even if that person doesn't overcome their issue now, the process would have been set in motion.
You felt that connection and it was a strong and valid connection, you just approached it inappropriately because you skipped some basic steps at the beginning e.g. are these feelings connected to Laura/Forum or are they connected to something larger that I'm projecting onto Laura/Forum as this is a safe environment for them to be expressed?
Archaea, as you explore some of your dynamics and discover some things that you may classify as holding you prisoner in real life that you project onto a virtual environment (due to the relative safety of this environment) you'll probably find quite a lot to work with and probably really struggle to cross the thresholds you want to cross i.e. change yourself to what you want to become, but that doesn't mean that everything that you classify as holding you back can't be useful, if you just attain some level of dis-identification from YOU and the PROGRAMS. Accept that the programs rule but also accept they ARENT you. I think this is key. You'll literally separate into 2 within yourself, one that watches and one that acts and every now and again, this can be really useful. It can be especially useful when you run into a doppelganger as it were. ;)