Yes it is amazing how little things like that can seem to be so difficult and energy demanding and yet are so very important for growth towards a real will. It is also amazing, even though we know rationally that it is a good thing to do it, our mostly automatic programs in the body and brain, think and act differently. I guess it has partly to do with the circumstance that most of us are not used to the practise of "external consideration" and "humility and patients" towards others.bm said:[...]
[...]I will remind myself of that last paragraph - that is quite some precious advice. I find that if I keep a strong intent expressing humility in my interactions, things usually work out well. However, it takes a lot of energy to be humble, I realise. It's about being unselfish and considering the other as deeply as possible. That means you give up all your preconceived notions about life and everything you know, to SEE the person in front of you for who they really are. To give up automatic thinking for conscious apprehension of reality is an energy-consuming act and it seems like the greatest expression of love for another.Pashalis said:[...]
Of course we encounter in life also constantly situations in which we are thrown into the bathtub of that "big thing" that is "to far away for us". Or situations in which we just have to face "the big thing". The same applies then: Try to find something "small" in that moment that you can "will" to do good or better, like moving differently. A good thing to always keep in mind in any given situation is "be externally considerate", it can give valuable insight into what we do in any given moment. And then try to think of "small things" you can do in that direction. As with everything else it needs practise.
We have behaved a certain way for so long that it has become the normal automatic condition and thus feels comfortable. Now if something new enters, like trying to make an extra effort to be external considerate towards others, all of a sudden we feel not that well anymore, since we are simply not used to activate those useful pathways in the body and brain. With constant practise, over a long period, of that "new thing", or to say it better, this more constructive behaviour, it becomes a useful habit that we can use for good.
Sounds to me like this wedding trip is a perfect opportunity to practise without judging yourself for "failures" so much. Indeed it sound like one of those "big things" for you, so you could try to make an extra effort to not measure yourself by "your ideal future self" there, but try to make small steps in that direction, so that you don't get overwhelmed. And yes the 4 "S" words are just some of those useful "small things" you can practise.