hithere said:
Thank you for posting. I think you are right in your asessment of this fearlessness. I need to take these things as warnings and be careful. And I do and I am. I was abducted by an elf through a hole in the air in my bedroom when I was 8-10 years old, and scared shitless at the time, so maybe this fearlessness represent a sort of numbing, or maybe repressed anger. I've thought a lot about this through my life and I can't seem to find any stone that hasn't been turned before at least once. But these days it feels like there's more at stake when one interacts than before. Sometimes I interact on behalf of others, and this seems to have helped them in some instances. This has a value I think, and I don't want to shut things out just for comfort. It's a balancing act, but it still feels as I am supposed to follow up on these experiences, but with a catious eye and foot.
fwiw hithere I went through a similar childhood to you, and had a similar attachment to these 'things'/events when I first arrived on the forum. Anart offered me very similar advice, and I couldn't quite see it at the time....I also felt angry that these 'things' seemed not to be taken 'as seriously' as I took them...even though I was also kind of dismissive of them....I thought I was being objective.
I also had a visit from 'little dudes' who walked thought my wall one night when I was 4-5 years old.....when I 'came back' I was left with the thought in my had that something 'had been left in my room'....and that if I moved 'it would kill me'. I tried not to breath and kept my eyes open for fear of falling asleep until the sun came up several hours later.
I didn't think it had had much impact on me...and these 'weird things' that happened to me where just part of my life...I was use to them.
Have you had a chance to read the
recommended reading list? Specifically the big 5 psychology books?
I ask because one of those books made it quite clear to me that these things had a huge impact on me....even though I couldn't see it/go there yet. The book was Myth of Sanity by Martha Stout. I think it would be really useful for you to read it as soon as you can.
It discusses how even normal events in childhood cause disassociation as a way to cope with the emotional trauma.....when you get into really traumatic things (Such as being abducted) then the trauma is much deeper and the protective barrier much bigger. You litterally cannot see it within yourself.
But one of the signs its their is that you have 'dead dudes' hanging around (among many other things)....they are feeding on this unprocessed emotional wound. That is why no matter what I tried I could not fight them off....because just like flies attracted to rotting flesh, more kept coming no matter how many I swatted off.
Dealing with this stuff isn't easy, and its painful as heck...but it is really worth it in the end. I can hardly recognise the me I am compared to myself back then, I've grown so much. And I've barely scratched the surface of this.
hithere said:
I am, but only have time for it in the car on my way to work in the mornings. Been practicing breathing in the mornings for some years, but only started with EE this summer.
It would be worth setting aside and hour or so to do the full program properly. If you can do this once, then you can make it a regular thing. One thing to consider is that your emotional defence mechanisms will be trying to stop you do anything that may bring you into contact (even in a positive healing way) with your emotional trauma.
This is something you will have to work out for yourself...
It may be useful (given what you have been through) to go easy to start with and skip the round breathing section.
Doing the pipe breathing and listening to the prayer of the soul every night would also be a really good idea....for one it help protect from these sort of things.....it also heals you in a gentle but deep way.
hithere said:
As for the diet; well, slowly getting closer to a gluten free diet, we have a low sugar intake, but dairy products in the form of milk is consumed daily. I feel no adverse health effect connected to milk, and in norway milk is a big part of the liquid intake and is generally low on sugar and additives.
Our health in the family is generaly good and it's rare that any of us are ill. So the motivation for a stricter diet is low in the family, although I personally am curious to what I might gain in terms of awareness by really doing the diet strictly. But the missus isn't as into these issues as myself, and the kids are not aware of the specifics of the world situation, but informed as to the reality of psycopaths, a probable afterlife, and the necessity to think for themselves.
The first thing to consider in this is those around you.....you cannot force them to change if they do not wish to.
You need to exercise
external considering here.
When I finally understood what this meant (it took a while) I realised the best way to do these things was to take full responsibility for the change in my own life, and let others see the results without forcing anything on anyone.
So I prepare all my own food, and when the opportunity arises prepare food for those around me (even if their choice of food is not this diet, I will still prepare what they want). So if you choose to follow this diet, be prepared to take responsibility for your own food and do not put those changes on anyone else.
As to the health benefits....you may (or may not) wish to read the following articles. And again (out of external considering) as your wife is not so interested in these things, it is more considerate to her if you do not force her to read these things...I have done this in the past with my girlfriend and brought her only misery and stress because of it. She is not ready to know these things so directly. She does however appreciate that I prepare my own food, and that I have more energy to be with her (one benefit from the diet).
The Addictive Opioids in Wheat and Dairy Foods.
Why Milk Is So Evil
Speaking Out Against Gluten have a look at the links at the end of the article too for further reading.
So in short, what you have to gain from strictly following the diet (yourself) if you are in good health is a longer life (or a shorter life if you carry on consuming dairy/gluten, suffering from chronic disease), more energy, clearer thinking and emotional processing/clarity.
Many of us on the forum have been following the diet strictly for a year or so now, and even those that where in good health get comments about 'how healthy they look' and 'what is your secret' from many people. And they have seen great improvement in clarity of thought, energy, moods and health (even though they said they where healthy).
fwiw