Hi Bluegazer, from your post i gather that you feel you are at some sort of crossroads; either you stay with your family or you venture out on your own, looking for like minded individuals to live with or at least be with. Also you describe yourself as quite helpless in your present living situation and that you don't have a thing. From your post i gather that you sometimes discuss topics such as we discuss on the forum but you feel your family members are not open to seeing things the way you see them. You feel like a stranger in your own family.
First of all, i know some forum members shared on the Corona virus thread, myself included, that our family members, be they spouses (in my case), children, parents, do not share our opinions as to where this world is going and who and what is behind it. And some are just not ready to hear the truth. I guess we have found ways to still be in a loving, respectful and amicable home situation, i know i have, by clearly stating this is what i think based on this and this and this and you are free to do whatever you want with that information. All roads lead to Rome in the end and i get to practice strategic enclosure, external and internal considering and learning to be fearless. Also fine, each learns at their own pace and i do not get to say one must think and believe like this or that and we are all there at exactly the point we are because we must be. All there is is lessons after all. I am very grateful! This is my path and for me it is the right one.
So keeping those things in my mind, here's what i think. If you haven't done so already, i highly recommend reading the 'Descriptions of the Afterlife'-thread as it offers a wealth of information that can be used for inspiration in just about any situation one finds oneself in. I think it might be used as a mirror and a tool of self-examination and reflection and teach how what we do is beneficial or not in any situation. I do think at some level you chose to be born into that family to work out karmic issues and other understandings and the choices you made along the way resulted in you still living with them as an adult. Okay, so my question would be have you worked out all there is to work out with all of them? Are all issues that you can learn from and that you can teach really covered? In my experience family, because we are so close and we obviously have things to work out, offers a wealth of learning points and information, we can learn from everyone and i found that after reading the forum lit on narcissicism, psychopathy, biology, thinking errors, Martha Stout's books and Healing Developmental Trauma, lots of things began to fall into place about how and why people act the way they do and you can see firsthand the power of emotions and manipulations at work and how people deal with them. Of course it all applies to yourself as well. Then you realize how little one really knows and how much Work needs to be done (and reading)...
... principle seems to be that Cosmic Mind/Information Field is not mocked: what you sow, you WILL reap, one way or another, no matter at what level of existence you may be.
So that one always sticks in my mind. Examining each choice to see if the actions/words/thoughts stem from love. Or at least doing my best to do that. And an issue to examine could be where this feeling of helplessness in your (living) situation comes from, what was your contribution to that? In what sense do you 'not have a thing'? Is that only in material sense? What are your skills? What can you conceive of to use the skills you have to make some money and be more independent? And what did you contribute to the family situation, what is your part in the dynamic? Why do you feel like a stranger? Because they have a different mind set?
From the session of 16 October 1994:
A: Why are you searching for guidance where it is not needed?
Q: (L) In other words, if we just do each day what naturally comes to us as the best choice in each moment, we are on the right track?
A: Precisely.
I think the easiest thing always is to just walk away, but the challenge lies in staying and examining and working out if really all lessons you can think of with all knowledge you gained through the years have been learned before you part ways. That could mean looking deep inside yourself with a critical eye and taking note of how much of The Work at this stage still needs to be done. What have you done yourself to make the situation better? To do what comes naturally to one, i think we must listen closely to our conscience. For me, EE and meditation helped a lot with developing that. And one of the wisdoms i picked up from the Afterlife thread is that we must have patience with our fellow humans. (Very handy to keep in the back of my head when i see old people on the golfcourse wearing facemasks!!)
There's also this:
No time like the present to examine oneself, one's deeds, who one has hurt out of selfishness or self-centeredness (some hurt can't be avoided), and to take measures, if such are possible, to confess and make amends. It only takes a few lies, a few mean acts, an overarching selfishness, to subtract serious points and start one on the road to serious suffering either now, or in the next world, or both.
In a very real sense, God is watching us.
So i think the true challenge here might be to work out what needs to be done inside of you to make an informed choice of where you will live and with whom (or alone) and why. In these volatile times it might also be good to keep in mind that this time round we are not here to survive for ourselves but to survive to help others, as someone from Ceasarea on the reading workshop shared a few weeks ago. That stuck in my mind.
My two cents and i hope it helps a little bit Bluegazer, i wish you all the best
. Hopefully, I shall not encounter the officious little hitler I had to deal with the last time I went there. I shall just have to gird my loins and remember the C's counsel in the latest session with regard to strategic enclosure and not make myself a target. After dragging my heels over doing this for so long I am really excited now
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. I am looking forward to joining the 'cool kids' in the 'secret club'! Seriously though, I shall endeavour to prove myself worthy of the group's trust 
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