Re: my original music
goyacobol said:
987baz said:
ok, so I said I would do one a week, this one is called Oars in the Water, it might need a bridge, but for now I kept it simple :) also no with more vocals and less guitar ;)
https://soundcloud.com/machines-of-me/oars-in-the-water-live
Oars in the Water
Something deep inside the well of the unknown
is tearing me apart,
my soul becoming whole
I didn't know I wasn't there
the seed to the oak
all these lessons are showing me the shore
the water and the oars
The soldier and the bear once fought to the death
And now I can let go a part of my shadow
I didn't know I wasn't there
the seed to the oak
all these lessons are showing me the shore
the water and the oars
987baz,
I think that is a big improvement. I could hear most of the words fine but I notice that for some reason the words starting with vowels or containing "O" and "A" are kind of running together.
Oak sounds like "ahh" to me. Maybe it's just my ears.
In the line "The soldier and the bear once fought
to the death" The bolded words kind just ran together.
I think your voice has a lot of expression and you maybe have a certain style in mind. I think most of us tend to like other singers/groups and unconsciously imitate a style/sound. It's mostly hearing the lyrics I have difficulty in hearing. I know there are tricks some singers use for certain words that are difficult to sing and keep the musical quality so they drop certain letters etc. I am not trained so I don't know the technical term.
I never took any singing lessons but after looking for some examples I found this short singing lesson video. Maybe I'll check out some more of them too.
Just the creativity of writing your own songs is not something everyone has so I think you should keep on keeping on. :)
"The soldier and the bear once fought to the death" -- Is Russia on your mind with this line? That's what I was thinking when I heard it.
Thanks goyacobal :)
It's interesting that you point out that the lyrics are hard to understand, I tend to mumble in my speech too, something I am aware of, usually because my brain runs faster than my mouth, and so it seems this speech pattern has run into my singing as well. I guess I do have a certain style of singing, not that I am trying to emulate anyone in particular, but yes, we all wear our influences as it were on our sleeves. I would like to find a way to still keep my own style but have greater annunciation, something to work towards :)
I haven't had any formal training either, I just started singing back in the day as no-one else wanted to and became the singer, so I am sure there is a lot more for me to learn. I guess I have avoided training as a way of hiding, I mean if my voice doesn't sound the way i want (perfection program), I can just go well, I'm self taught, so it's kind of an excuse. The O and A are kinda of the way I sing, it's easier to get the lyrics to work together, I find, but again something to think about :)
The soldier and the bear line actually has a double meaning, yes partly about Russia/state of the wold and also about myself. i had a session with my spiritual healer which went into past lives, I had a heart chakra blockage and she said that in 2 separate past lives I had my heart ripped out, literally, once by a bear and once as a soldier in battle. Now she did say that a lot of these things can be symbolic but the images stayed with me and manifested lyrically in this song which is about letting go of trauma and using the signs and knowledge to evolve.
Hello H2O said:
Hi baz. I like the song, but I would have to agree with goyacobol, about the vocals.
To me, a singer/songwriter is a communicator. And you seem to hold your vocals, or your communication a little too close to your vest.
I think you need to get it out there a little more, spoken/sung a little more clearly, and with a little more confidence.
The line, "The soldier and the bear once fought to the death" is pretty powerful IMO, but it is hard to make out in the song.
Cheers
Thanks Hello H20,
Fair point, I guess this might have something to do with fear of rejection, and maybe even my make nice program. Subconsciously maybe it is a form of self censoring, not wanting to upset anyone with what I want to say, but also hiding the real "me" as I don't feel worthy. I am not sure but plenty to contemplate.
I never had this problem when I was singing in my rock/metal band, but that was a different phase of my life and was more about trying to wake people up (lyrically) and obviously a much more aggressive type of music.
Seems there are quite a few programs running, as I continue I am sure there will be more to dig into.
I might try and record a cover song soon and see if that makes any difference, singing someone else's words rather than my own.
cheers for the feedback :)