My Psychedelic Experience

pecha

Jedi
I like when you said "The main struggle is within, everything outside is easier, lighter at best relatively speaking". It seems for those having to struggle so hard in reality is in part due to projecting the inner landscape, which can be full of turmoil, when that moment in external reality is not like that.

It's a confidence booster, since it helps others segment the two realities and deal with them in an objective way.
 

Gmork

The Force is Strong With This One
harmful to the balance levels of the prime chakra October 23, 1999
It is interesting information but, it is rather big statement and no one should just take it as truth. Why stressing prime chakra with some substance that someone chose to use (using normal life event, so its part of life and learning cycle) is harmful? (stress is not bad in small ammount)

It is a form of self-imposed abridging of free will. October 23, 1999
Again, how so? Its a part of life, many tribes do stuff like that for ever.

natural rhythms of psychic development October 23, 1999
What make is unnatural? Its part of universe, earth, life (those substances) so how can they be unnatural?
 

biala84

Jedi
FOTCM Member
I was using like two times psiloc.. and i get synesthesia effect :) i also try some md....ma and Ls..d which helps me a bit with my trauma process, but as i said the work i have to do. The feeling is like a balm for the soul :)
 

Agron

Jedi Council Member
Hey @Seato

Just to clarify some things about use of psychedelics. Unnecessary fears are part of a bad experience so that is important.

Psychedelic plants and mushrooms are teachers and allies and can help you only and IF you show respect towards them and Nature. You cant expect help from healing entities if you disrespect Nature in any way. Any disrespect towards plant-allies like over-use or mis-use or use without knowledge and discipline can and will end in a bad result/experience.
But if your will is pure and you use them according to accepted rules they can be of huge help. Before use research is a must if theres no Shaman around to guide you! You must become your own Shaman in a way.

Some plants are more powerful and some less. Some are extremely powerful when taken in bigger quantities and even experienced users can have what is percieved as mind&body shattering experiences, psylocibin included.
And some people have such big problems that Shamans go for that exact effect. Large doses are needed! But they are the Shamans who know how to work with these plants-entities because they told them how and youre safe.

If you are doing it alone you must be carefull and make sure that your enviroment is secure and you got the real stuff (if whatever you are taking is low quality or old a lousy experience is coming your way) and how much and in what way you should take and all the information on it you can get which today is easy since we got Erowid.org . Selfexperimentation is the only way in this case but it has to be done smartly.

Doses of psylocibin that will release your ego-problems are 3 - 5 grams. On an empty stomach and in a dark, quiet enviroment with a focus on your mission. One or two sessions are all you need for at least a decade if not your entire life! When people take 1.5 gram every weekend (thats the usual quantity that is being sold for one person) and go to parties and mix them with other "drugs" and alcohol they show disrespect towards them and they wont be of any real help.

If psylocibin use is done in a smart way my opinion is that it can be of huge help. And that sort of help cant be gotten anywhere else except with psychedelics or some shamanistic ritual. Australian aborigines have a ritual that resolves and helps issues when there is death in family and people cant get over it. It does exactly what a good dose of psylocibin will do for that exact same purpose.

Hope this will be of help to you @Seato (or anyone else who is thinking about using psychedelics). I am sharing this from personal experience.
BTW.Its contra-productive to focus on details too much. Details are obfuscating the view of the bigger picture which is needed to be able to move forward.

Cheers
 

Andrian

Dagobah Resident
FOTCM Member
Hi seato, my humble advice to you will be to be very careful regarding the psychedelic drugs, according to the latest research as mentioned by the gu
 

Andrian

Dagobah Resident
FOTCM Member
Hi seato, sorry for my above post, by mistake i've pushed the "publish button" then wasn't able anymore to edit it.

So what i was trying to write to you is the following: my humble advice to you will be to be very careful regarding the psychedelic drugs, according to the latest research as mentioned by the guys from the SOTT ObjectiveHealth show the psychedelic drugs can help fighting anxiety, depression and so on, by taking them though in micro doses, even in that case i'd be careful, If i were you, i won't venture in that direction unless i hadn't left any other options even in that case as i mentioned above i'd be very careful by sticking to the recommended dosages indicated by a healthcare professional. If i were you i'd stick to traditional methods in order to overcome anxiety (by seeing a counselor, reading the recommended books, doing EE, doing physical activity ecc.). From my experience, btw since i was little i had self esteem issues, anxiety issues, my self esteem being almost equal to 0 until my late 20ies, in order to increase my self esteem i've started doing some workout in the gym and outdoors, reading the recommended books, working on sott, doing EE, overcoming the addictions i had, setting small goals that i was sure i'd be able to accomplish and moving slooowly, by doing baby steps my life started to change for the better. What i'm trying to say is that you can do it, you ca overcome your anxiety and i'd recommend to take the hard, traditional way i've mentioned above, no psychedelic drugs, no shortcuts, only hard work, no anticipation whatsoever and believe me all the hard work you will put in will pay off sooner or later. You have the tools to do it. On a last note i'd like to add an excerpt from a C's session were it is mentioned the use and possible dangers of the psychedelic drugs:

Session 2 May 2015:

Q: (L) Okay. Now, I have a question I want to ask. I received a message from an individual on Facebook. She says,

"I was wondering if you could ask the C's about a friend that went missing 2 years ago. I just found out last week, and was saddened to hear the news. Kim was a writer for Natural News."

(L) Apparently, this girl had gone to Ecuador and was engaged in taking mescaline or something, and she had a breakdown or something. Then she left home, never to be seen again. She says,

"I don't want to interfere or expose her in the readings, but I wanted to know if she is okay or what happened to her if it is alright to know this information? She helped me a lot with my health while I was helping her put her book together on cleansing with enemas and preparing fermented vegetables. Her book was called Cleaning Up. Thanks."

(L) Okay, the girl's name is Kim Evans, and she went missing in 2013. The story is kind of weird. She left with $400, a small suitcase, her passport, and...

(Andromeda) She said she'd be right back.

(L) So, first of all, is it okay to ask about this? This was published on the internet, so I guess it's not like a private situation. Is it okay for us to even ask about it?

A: Yes

Q: (L) Is this person still alive in the body?

A: No

Q: (Pierre) How did she die?

A: Driven by voices to expose herself to danger.

Q: (Andromeda) Whose voices?

A: In her head.

Q: (L) And what was the source of these voices?

A: Entities hanging around

Q: (L) Were these entities hanging around because of her encounter with psychedelic drugs?

A: Partly but she was also mentally and psychically vulnerable due to genetic factors.

Q: (L) Let me just make a statement here. People who have particular genetic vulnerabilities should not participate in hallucinogenic drug activities? Is that a reasonable assumption to make?

A: Yes

Q: (L) But then people don't always know whether they're genetically vulnerable, do they?

A: No

Q: (L) Anything else to say about it?

(Galatea) Is there a way to determine if someone is genetically vulnerable?

A: No

Q: (Perceval) Just don't be messing with psychedelic drugs, no matter who you are. That sounds reasonable.

(Chu) What kind of danger did she expose herself to?

A: Places people.

Q: (Perceval) Was she murdered?

A: Yes

Q: (Perceval) So she fell in with the very wrong crowd.

(L) You can't get us any closer than that?

A: No, since there is no direct linkup.

Q: (L) In other words, since we're not directly connected to her or know anything about her, we can't tune in any closer than that. Well...

A: All should be aware of the potentials for entity interference when utilizing psychedelics. They can be beneficial in some cases but with care.

Q: (L) I would say you have to also have people who are fully aware of the possibilities, doing mental blocking, taking care of the energy around...

A: Yes
 

Gmork

The Force is Strong With This One
@Andrian psychodelic drugs are not shortcut in my opinion, they are at best tool to peek at the goal( like a photo of top of the mountain). They help you see your problem, they push reset button, they give you perspective without strong ego/mind atachments.
Still you need to do hard work and they mostly work with normal therapy.

All the stuff you did you would still needed to do in order to help yourself, drugs only help with understanding what you need to do, they give push, sometimes scary sometimes beautiful.

Why do you think those drugs are not hard work, why are they shortcut for you?

Q: (Perceval) Just don't be messing with psychedelic drugs, no matter who you are. That sounds reasonable.
That sound like religious people who say don't use medicine because you might get hurt (a lot of medicine have bad side effects)
Simply learn about it, and use it wisely as you should with anything. Like C's say, with care. And like we already know we need full awareness and mental blocking etc.

I would be more worry about micro-dosing any psychedelic drug, it sound like bad idea and something that would change brain chemistry
 

Andrian

Dagobah Resident
FOTCM Member
Why do you think those drugs are not hard work, why are they shortcut for you?
Hi Gmork, for someone who is following this community, the work that is being done here, the tools that have been discovered so far like the EE breathing program, NeurOptimal therapy, recommended reading material and so on in my opinion there is no need to dwell in the psychedelic drugs in order to dissolve your ego and help you get rid of your anxieties. According to C's by using some of the psychedelic drugs with caution it may help some people from the medical point of view, though even in that case they should be used carefully in micro doses as mentioned in the following Objective & Health sott show.

Don't get me wrong, what i wrote above is just my take on it, i don't deny the fact that for some, some psychedelic drugs if taken according to the prescriptions of a healthcare professional it can contribute to his well being, though in my opinion if that particular person doesn't suffer severely enough and doesn't have another option except for using psychedelic druqs under the prescriptions of a health care professional then i'd avoid them categorically. As i said it's just my take on it.

On a last note, the following is another excerpt from a C's session where this topic has been brought up:

Session 9 December 2017
Q: (L) Okay, well... Let me ask: Are there benefits to using psilocybin mushrooms or something like that?

A: For some, yes.

Q: (Pierre) We had this discussion. About the reset thing.

(L) If psilocybin mushrooms are not producing spiritual experiences, what do they do?

A: They bind to neuroreceptors and block certain intense ego oriented thinking. This has the effect of allowing a mass of impressions coming to and through the sensorium to be apprehended. The effect is to make the individual less controlling in their thinking. These effects can be lasting.

Q: (Artemis) So it like dissolves boundaries in a way?

A: Yes

Q: (L) So, obviously if the effects are lasting, one doesn't need to repeat it?

A: No. And in fact repetition can be damaging by altering brain structures via chemical pathways.

Q: (Artemis) Well, it does make sense that it can help people with depression because if your boundaries are weakened, you get the information you need to fight it.

(L) Well, I think the problem with depression is that people focus too much on their ego, or their own problems. If it dissolves the ego, it dissolves the depression.

(Joe) And it allows a mass of impressions coming to and through the sensorium to be apprehended. Oh.

(L) And you go from being so focused on yourself to being focused on everything...

(Joe) But you're still detached from normal life where you can interact with people.

(L) Yeah, it might help you if you are TOO focused on yourself.

(Pierre) Or wrongly focused. It's interesting because when you do mushrooms there are those amazing "hallucinations". But if I understand correctly, it's just a shift of focus from inward to outward...

A: Synesthesia.

Q: (L) That's making connections between different parts of the brain that aren't ordinarily connected, like when you smell a number, feel a number... So it just kind of crisscrosses everything; lets everything flow in and all the inputs are jumbled and that seems like a “spiritual experience” to ignorant people.

(Joe) Part of it I think is that all of that stuff that you're processing that you've selectively filtered in your daily life, you're actually seeing all the stuff that's in your brain.

(L) It's the stuff that's going on all the time.

(Joe) It's like rummaging through your garbage.

(Pierre) Yeah, you filter far less those external stimuli.

(L) And not just external, but internal. What's going on in your brain, like your whole neural sheet, your ears, your eyes... They're all taking in all kinds of stuff and it’s all being processed in different parts of the brain all the time, and most of it is just filed without being brought to conscious attention.

(Joe) And you're set up to only process that amount of information that helps you to function properly in the world.

(L) And people who are depressed narrow that focus even more to just those things that they ruminate on over and over again; their own “take” on everything dominated by programs.

(Pierre) Yes.

(Andromeda) They block out everything else.

(L) So, in general, for some people it would be a helpful therapy, but not something that one would repeat for bogus spiritual experiences. Is that the bottom line?

A: Yes
 

Agron

Jedi Council Member
Thanks for adding this Cs session @Andrian ! I have not yet come across it!
And I see confirmation of what I wrote in my previous post so I am happy!
Cheers 👍

@Seato
I found this statement by Laura in the Wave, chapter 28 where she talks about differences between STO and STS polarity and tries to explain what it means to be STO. Maybe it will be helpful:

In the broadest sense, the human being who has mastery over his own life is a shaman, and those of you who resist this process most strenuously are most likely the ones with the greatest shamanic capacity. Will is will. It just needs to be married to knowledge. It cannot be married until is has matured and it cannot mature unless it has been born, and it cannot be born until the false personality dies
 

goyacobol

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
It is interesting information but, it is rather big statement and no one should just take it as truth. Why stressing prime chakra with some substance that someone chose to use (using normal life event, so its part of life and learning cycle) is harmful? (stress is not bad in small ammount)



Again, how so? Its a part of life, many tribes do stuff like that for ever.



What make is unnatural? Its part of universe, earth, life (those substances) so how can they be unnatural?
@Gmork ,

I think you kind of answered that yourself with the chosen quotes (especially the one from October 23, 1999).

Session 23 October 1999:
Q: I want to you have lost a fan because he was not happy with what he considered to be "internal inconsistencies" in that you were NOT favorably disposed toward hallucinations produced by substances such as Mescaline and Ayahuasca, but yet you recommend Melatonin because it is a hallucinogen. Then, you said that spiritual powers could not be obtained through chemicals or plant type means, but then said that Melatonin exercises psychic abilities. Could you comment on this?

A: Several comments: First of all, "fan" is short for "fanatic." Secondly, melatonin does not force an alteration in physiological brain chemicals, as do mescaline, peyote, LSD, etc. Accessing the higher levels of psychical awareness through such processes is harmful to the balance levels of the prime chakra. This is because it alters the natural rhythms of psychic development by causing reliance on the part of the subject, thus subjugating the learning process. It is a form of self-imposed abridging of free will. Melatonin simply allows the system to clear obstructions in the brain chemistry naturally, thereby allowing the subject to continue to learn at a natural pace. And, it is by no means unimportant that melatonin is a natural body hormone. The other substances mentioned are, at least in part, synthetic, with the exception of peyote. But even that is not a natural ingredient of the human physiological being. And besides, we have already discussed the importance, or lack thereof, of those who pass judgment upon this exercise, or communication.
I think the Cs were saying there are even some "natural" substances that we can take unnaturally that we can ingest that will not allow us to learn at a "natural pace". Substances like Peyote are themselves "natural" but are not "a natural ingredient of the human physiological being".

It is sort of like "there is no free lunch" we can't just take these natural or synthetic substances and expect to instantly learn our lessons. The Cs do seem to understand there are some things produced within the body (such as melatonin) that can help some to the extent they can possibly "learn at a natural pace". I suppose it is more the pace we choose and the realization that each of us has deep memories and programs to acknowledge or become aware of. I suppose you could "see" other realms/densities using such substances but would you grow spiritually without more real Work on yourself. And I wonder if there is also a danger you might damage your own psyche/mind in the process (thinking of some college friends who experimented with such drugs as LSD).
 

Andrian

Dagobah Resident
FOTCM Member
Totally agree with goyacobol here. Though I think it's obvious I'll mention also that these drugs may expose to dangers that are "out there" that really can burn your circuits. As mentioned above, some of these psychedelic drugs if taken responsibly under the prescription of a doctor can help those who aredealing with anxiety issues, other than that they are to be excluded all together. My 2 cents!
 

Gmork

The Force is Strong With This One
Seams to me i cant just accept C's statement about natural pace of learning, it just don't click with me. We have our life and everything in it to learn, and we do our best to do so(safely with max awareness), and we have a lot of "dangerous" stuff( even meditation can cause psychosis, reiki, ouija ) and a lot of safe stuff (reading, exercise etc) and i just dont see in what C's say an explanation.
I think i need to understand what "chakra balance" "self-imposed abridging of free will " means.

It feels like C's are God in garden of Eden saying don't eat from knowledge tree.

@goyacobol
Few points i want to respond:
I think you kind of answered that yourself with the chosen quotes
They don't, because unless you would have contact with C's kind of being, everything you do is "natural" and part of your learning process.
If you would use how they define natural, then coffee is equally dangerous. ( maybe it is )

expect to instantly learn our lessons
From what i know, (plus reading a lot of erowid) psychedelics only change how you process information, change awareness. They do not insert knowledge or information into you.
You still need to learn normally. You still need to do" real Work on yourself ".
 

goyacobol

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
Seams to me i cant just accept C's statement about natural pace of learning, it just don't click with me. We have our life and everything in it to learn, and we do our best to do so(safely with max awareness), and we have a lot of "dangerous" stuff( even meditation can cause psychosis, reiki, ouija ) and a lot of safe stuff (reading, exercise etc) and i just dont see in what C's say an explanation.
I think i need to understand what "chakra balance" "self-imposed abridging of free will " means.

It feels like C's are God in garden of Eden saying don't eat from knowledge tree.

@goyacobol
Few points i want to respond:

They don't, because unless you would have contact with C's kind of being, everything you do is "natural" and part of your learning process.
If you would use how they define natural, then coffee is equally dangerous. ( maybe it is )


From what i know, (plus reading a lot of erowid) psychedelics only change how you process information, change awareness. They do not insert knowledge or information into you.
You still need to learn normally. You still need to do" real Work on yourself ".
@Gmork ,

If you don't agree with the Cs advice there is nothing forcing you to just "believe" anything. The tree in the Garden of Eden according to the Cs was not what some biblical interpretations would have us believe.

The Cs give their take on this tree:

Session 5 October 1994:
Q: (L) Were Adam and Eve attempting to obtain knowledge to free themselves from bondage when they ate of the fruit of the tree of knowledge?

A: Adam and Eve are symbolic.

Q: (L) But were they in bondage and trying to help free themselves with the help of a benevolent "serpent"?

A: Not benevolent.

Q: (L) Were they already in bondage to someone else when the Lizzies came?

A: No. They were free. The symbolic story of Adam and Eve was a story of enticement to false knowledge. The tree of knowledge of good and evil was focused, imprisoned knowledge.
Session 5 October 1994:
Q: (L) What was the Fruit of the tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil that was supposedly eaten by Eve and then offered to Adam?

A: Knowledge restriction. Encoding.

Q: (L) What did it mean when it said Eve ate of the fruit of the tree of knowledge? What act did she perform to do that?

A: Consorted with wrong side.

Q: (L) What does consorted mean?

A: Eve is symbolic.

Q: (L) Symbolic of what?

A: Female energy.

Q: (L) The female energy did what when it consorted?

A: Lost some knowledge and power.

Q: (L) Why was the eating of the fruit of this tree called knowledge of good and evil feared by god or gods to enable Eve to be equated with gods?

A: What? Clarify please.

Q: (L) Who was the god that feared that the eating of this fruit would make Eve equal to him or them?

A: No. {They were right. I had the trees confused.}

Q: (L) The Bible says that these gods said that they were afraid that man would now take hold of the fruit of the tree of life and live forever. What does this mean? Why did the eating of this fruit make god afraid?

A: Did not.

Q: (L) What was the fruit of the tree of life?

A: Limitation.

Q: (L) How can the fruit of the tree of eternal life be limitation?

A: Conceptually limited.

Q: (L) I want you to know that this does not make a whole lot of sense.

A: Yes it does. Think carefully.

Q: (L) Was the god who walked in the garden who warned Adam and Eve not to eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, was that the original creator god? i.e.
the good guy?

A: No.

Q: (L) Who was that god who ordered them not to eat of this tree?

A: Complicated. Laura you are missing the obvious.

Q: (L) In what sense would the fruit of the tree of life be limiting?

A: Believing that one source contains all knowledge is contradicting reality.

Q: (L) What was the flaming sword barring re-entry to Eden?

A: Do you not understand?

Q: (L) No I do not understand.

A: Review. If the concept was the eating of the fruit of the tree of knowledge provides all knowledge, then one is being deceived, because no one particular source can provide all knowledge. Therefore, when one believes in the deception, one has now trapped oneself within parameters. And, forevermore, the human race, will be poisoned by the very same problem which is reflected in several different ways: one is always seeking the truth through one pathway instead of seeking it through a myriad of pathways; and also believing in simplistic answers to very complex issues and questions.

Q: (L) What was the flaming sword barring re-entry into the garden of Eden?

A: Symbolizes trap.

Q: (L) A self-imposed flaming sword?

A: Yes.

Session 11 March 1995:
Q: (L) Who was the snake?

A: Result of giving into temptation without caution, i.e. leaping before looking.

Q: (J) So we should exercise caution. (T) Okay, what was the snake? (J) The result of giving into temptation. The snake represents the classic... (L) So what you are saying to us is that the story of the temptation in Eden was the story of Humankind being led into this reality as a result of being tempted. So, the eating of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil was...

A: Giving into temptation.

Q: (L) And this was a trick...

A: No! Tricks don't exist!

Q: (L) There is an issue here. (T) Okay, no trick, a trap?

A: No! Traps don't exist either. Free will could not be abridged if you had not obliged.

Q: (T) Now wait a minute. I am losing the whole train here. What were we before the "Fall?"

A: 3rd density STO.

Q: (T) Didn't you tell us that 3rd density beings could not be STO? (L) No. They said there are 3rd density STO beings. (T) We are STS at this point because of what happened then?

A: Yes.
I agree with you that:

You still need to learn normally. You still need to do" real Work on yourself ".
But what if you are wrong about:

psychedelics only change how you process information, change awareness.
I have seen some people that do come out of psychedelics changed in ways they may or may not have freely chosen to change.

It is as I see it an unnecessary risk to try psychedelics. Of course, you have the right to disagree or try whatever you think is appropriate for you. I'll stick with my cup of coffee. ☕
 

Agron

Jedi Council Member
Hello @Gmork
This is a very interesting video to say the least! For you or anyone else who is interested in psychedelics. Rick Doblin Ph.D. (MAPS founder) is "THE MAN" in this field and he leads in research of psychedelics for MASS mental health. Something this planet could benefit from!
Hes had some amazing success and he managed to bring psychedelics back to public research. Similair to Paul Stamets and psylocibin.


Regards

Agron
 

Seato

Jedi
Well here is a very silly story I have to share. See I thought I applied for FOTCM in 2017 and messed up the postage and thus was never properly accepted. So today I finally decided to reapply and make sure I post properly only to stumble upon an unopened envelope containing my FOTCM welcome pack from 2017 (I know the private forum is separate from this). The rest of the post just goes into more detail over this and some reflections.

So in 2017 I managed to build up the courage to apply to the FOTCM. I posted my physical copy and to my knowledge received no reply and personally assumed that due to my inexperience in posting abroad I had messed up sending the application in some way. Earlier in this thread I have mentioned social anxiety problems which combined with a difficulty in being proactive lead to me ignoring the obvious course of action which would be to simply ask whether it had been received.

Consequently reapplying ended up as a future goal to work towards. Unfortunately later that year the previously mentioned physical and mental breakdown occurred, which I did not begin to recover from until summer/autumn 2019.

My contact with a psychiatrist was focused around CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). This method generally requires patient input (the psychiatrist unfortunately could not read minds). This was somewhat problematic due to social anxiety but I managed to move forwards by suggesting ideas from Stephen R. Covey “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”. I was given it as a gift and the book has its own thread on the forum. I talked over the things presented in the book with the psychiatrist and together we worked to define values and goals for me.

Note in my earlier posts I claim that sharing had become far easier for me and that is indeed true. However at the same time as I found myself distanced from my ego I realized how empty I really was. This resulted in new problems in sharing which mainly revolved around lack of direction. I have steadily been working towards this in my own time and with the psychiatrist over the past few months.

Goals included contributing more on the forum and making a new attempt at applying. Fast forward a few weeks and we have corona virus and lock down. The situation just felt so mad that I felt pressured to express my discontent on the forum. Even though (ashamed as I am to say it) lock down life is not much different from before for me. In spite of which there is just this overwhelming pressure to take action. Looking at the quantity of people suddenly joining the forum it looks like this may be widespread. This pressure or push from the universe has lead to me doing small things at home that I have been meaning to do for a long time. So today after several days of building pressure I decided to start my new application today.

I save the FOTCM application forum and start going through it. When I reach qualifications I cannot remember my precise grades and so decide to check through my collection of documents to find them. I find grades but for the incorrect year in a brown envelope and quickly spy another of similar size. Peculiarly I notice that this big envelope has not been opened. So I open it up and of course inside I find my FOTCM welcome pack from 2017. I had been worrying in the back of my mind about this for more than a year and it was never even a real problem. I guess the FOTCM Christmas cards should have been a clue.

Looking back at the timeline of events it looks like my membership card was issued and thus I presume arrived about the end of 2017. This somewhat interestingly coincides with my physical and mental breakdown that ended up permanently interrupting my university studies in their final year. From this I can only guess that it arrived before I returned home for the Christmas holiday and was placed in my mail pile by another family member. When I did get home I was struggling to cope generally and struggled to check mail so even if I had noticed the envelope I must have ignored it.

Well I guess this further highlights the importance of communication and sharing which seems to be a major focus point of lessons for me. Also to thoroughly check you open your mail. In particular being aware of your reality, since this means I was living in a false one which could have easily been escaped with a little networking. Well with all that said I hope to try and focus my energies to contributing more on this forum and working towards involvement in the private forum eventually.
 
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