My Work reveals: sexual addiction, memories of past lives, ESP, strang love bond

[Lidia V.]

Laura,
thanks for the feedback, your remarks are of utmost importance for me and I read them with great attention. Regarding other users - I believe you that most forum members have great knowledge, however, it is also advisable not to trust everybody. The words of C's still jingle in my mind..the words about confirmation, if somebody has enough knowledge - does not need confirmation. I cannot find the right excerpt right now. I do not claim here that I have enough knowledge, anyway - I have some practice in killing predators mind ;) I will explain in my next post.

During reading your posts I had a hint of a feeling how dangerous you are for STS creatures, actually you are deadly for them... Probably because my predator nature started to shiver with fear...
I started to think about the more advanced and active cooperation with the forum. I discovered that after I told "Farewell!" to F. in my mind, I felt some kind of emptiness and I supposed I would try to have a telepathic bond with the users of this forum. That was quite invigorating for me, because I know this would be helpful and of a different meaning and seriousness. After realizing this I experienced an electric shock in my brain. I remembered what you have written directly after my first post in this topic. I realised that I might repeat the same pattern - craving for interest, getting angry at lack of result of my probable manipulative games. Hopefully I realized it might be only a possibility which not necessarily has to manifest... It is my own choice what to do, and in order to get rid of this tricky STS nature I have to pay close and continuous attention to my brain processes, learn about the human machine as much as possible. The Work continues not day after day, but second after second, I feel that it is a matter of seconds.
Acting as "subjective blind spot" seems to be one of the most important features of networking. For the last couple of days I was wondering what to write here and had over 10 versions of a post in my mind. Shortly after composing each version I was coming to a conclusion that each contains explanation: why I answered in such a way, what was my real intention and so on. I decided that this is not the proper way of replying and I should read more about brain processes and pay more attention to a language I use (that reminds me of Gurdjieff's 7 different meanings of a word "man"). That was a nice surprise for me that you proposed similar solutions for me :) We do not see each others faces and do not hear the voice which bear a lot of information so I think that elaborating the code based on words and their meanings is very important. Btw - thanks for Cassiopaea Glossary :)
I have already read some excerts from the cognitive/psychology section. I found this applicable here, from the topic "Splitting as a Symptom of Internal Considering" which I found extremely helpful couple of months ago:

"The difference between projection and common error is that an error can be corrected, without difficulty, by better information and then dissolve like a morning fog in the sunlight. In the case of a projection, on the other hand, the subject doing the projecting defends himself, in most cases strenuously, against correction, or, if he accepts correction, he then falls into a depression. He consequently appears to be diminished or disillusioned, because the psychic energy that was invested in the projection has not flowed back to the subject but has been cut off."

I'll try to stand the heat :) I have already burnt a lot of times during my adventure with F. I will give more data in my next post.

 

[Lidia V.]

Possibility of Being,

I'm back :)

I decided to provide you with more data.

"Here, you are trying to separate your experience from who you are. It seems clear from the data you've provided so far that your experience was a plain outcome of who you are and what you had been pursuing, consciously or not."

It was not so clear for me at that time. Actually I was changing a lot. I am changing right now. This is not clear even now. I have some clues which will include later in this post. This experience had many aspects and claiming that they were only negative or only positive is "black and white thinking" which I was trying to avoid.

Matter of choice and intention.
Before anything started I was extremely frustrated. I had some kind of a "rock in my head" ( very stiff convictions which were like Gordian knot) Therapy with psychologist helped me to get to know different processes in my mind but I was like a man in that story of de Mello:

"Suppose I walked in here with a snake crawling up my arm, and I said to you, "Do you see the snake crawling up my arm? I've just checked in an encyclopedia before coming to this session and I found out that this snake is known as a Russell's viper. If it bit me, I would die inside half a minute. Would you kindly suggest ways and means by which I could get rid of this creature that is crawling up my arm?" Who talks like this? I have information, but I've got no awareness."

After practising EE, my intuition was growing up rapidly. For example I knew who would call me in a moment or felt (sometimes in a dream) that my friend has a problem and after emailing him - he confimed this. I know that there are different kinds of dreams, read couple of dream threads and was using reasonably a lexicon of dream symbols by German psychologist Klausbernd Vollmar.
I also had a dream with F. We were in a bathroom with mirrors. I could not see the lower part of me but could see both parts of F. I will explain later how mirror was important for me. Anyway, I suspected that hanging around, talking with F. was my last chance to understand my problem and to solve it. I knew it would be the last time I am trying to help myself in that way. I knew I would win. F. was "proper" and information in himself would help me to solve my puzzle. I suspected that it works the other way too, he will know himself by contact with me and gain advantage. I was ready to tolerate extreme pain, suffer, burning in hell, whatever. I was ready to jump into my own abyss of unknown, like Castaneda (I know this is only a metaphore, an exercise for perception). I was 100% aware of my responsibility. I knew that I won't blame anybody but me, if something goes wrong. What is worth mentioning - I had a plan. I wanted to fall in love, undergo an accelerated, hardcore emotional therapy, remain sobber enough to be able to deal with every day life, and than finish it and get out of the abyss, assimilate myself/ feel peace in mind/know every thread of my personal Gordian knot. I also wrote about the plan to F. That I will fall in love with him and looking for positive male pattern to incorporate it in my structure. He wrote back that, in fact,I was looking for my own feminine energy. (I don't know if you had a chance to read the first story. If not, here is explanation. F. is a person with telepathic skills, a yoga practitioner working with chinese medicine, bioenergy, sexual energy called Qi, an astrologist, tarot reader, who wants to help people, he emphasized it strongly. I have never talked to him personally and never met)

I always had a strong feeling that I must clean "my own yard" and it is a matter of a great importance before starting any activity connected with greater amount of people. ( do not know yet what activity exactly in my case but I will find out) It is also a reason why I did not want to write here earlier.

My husband.
Before anything started I asked my husband: "Can I think whatever I want?" He agreed. So I started the story with F.. I was convinced that we helped each other and somehow, it was not real, non material, so there is no danger. It was only in my head. I was going to work as usual, taking care of my son, reading a lot every day (mostly Castaneda and forum threads) Perhaps I was a bit more lost in thought than usual and smoked more ( 5 cigarettes a day instead of 2 or 3) I also cried after many whole session of EE during about 2 months. I talked about the F. with my husband 2 or 3 of times in a month. He was convinced that I am strong, would manage, nothing dangerous would happen and I would become happy, at last and achieve peace of mind. Simply - he trusted me.
2 days ago I asked Luke ( my husband) again if he was not hurt at that time. He repeated "No". For him nothing really dangerous happened, he felt uncomfortable for couple of times but believed in me, that I would finally get rid of my problem. I was able to deal with every day life, so that was OK for him.

Our online exchange of emails with F. was rather friendly. We talked mainly about astrology, free will, religious delusions, projections, psychology, ...


"Concerning your son, I hope you are aware that it's not only the amount of time a mother spends with her child that counts. Children absorb a lot. They pick up on emotions, body language, mental states, everything. Are you trying to say that you can completely separate the part of you that follows her emotions and imagination, has some kind of relationship with a pretty much doubtful person and has an imaginary 'lover' from the other part of you that is a mother when you spend your time with your son?"


After I started to study Castaneda's work I saw that I have a strange feature, I am able to be "between" worlds, immerse in my thinking and than come back to paying attention to outer world without difficulties . After couple of months of extrasensory contact with F. I could immerse in visions, feelings, energy, the state of falling in love which is close to the one when programming is carried out in our brain. It happened while I was lying in bed, than I could come back in a second to "normal"world, get up, talk or whatever. I was aware what is going around me to some extent. Most of that contact happened at night, before sleep. There was also a contact during the day, but I sent strong messages to F. that I want him not to interfere with my daily routines and I felt sad that I do not pay enough attention to my son. When I felt several times in a month that I have a contact with F .while I was with my son, I asked my husband to take care of my son, or my parents, they live at the first floor. Or I did not pay attention and played with my son. But somehow after 3 or 4 months we knew that the time when we could exchange energy/information is the night, actually after my son went to sleep. When it happened during the day - I was struggling for my attention, day by day, hour after hour, minute by minute, second by second. When the contact seemed to fade out (about 2,3 months ago) we contacted once in 2 days, for 1 hour or more.
I do not completely separate these parts of me. They were rather like different states of the same being, me. I discovered that I can emerge in the state of possibility to be programmed or to reprogram, the state of falling in love, it also happens during taking LSD, It reminds me a session when Laura mentioned LSD and C's said she had a "bleed through 4th density" (http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,25894.msg308388.html#msg308388)

At the same time I consider myself a normal human being. Recently I have called my psychologist and she confirmed that I do not have any mental disease.


One more thing about the contact. Sexual energy was present and was exchanged (I do not know if it is a proper word) daily, but as the time passed by - I felt that F. only wants to know what I am doing and if I am OK, like a friendly glimpse. When I was depressed I felt warmth from him, when he was depressed - I tried to help him, mostly by visualisations. There were impressions of hugging, emerging, feeling closeness of a very warm, patient compassionate person who understands me very deeply. I also knew that I cannot cheat because F. has telepathic skills so he will know about it. I also knew that I could not possess him, or try to capture him, because he is only in my thoughts. I had to leave my desires to be with him because I have a baby and a husband. I also discovered that I deliberately produced the state of suffering in order to burn out my imprinted patterns of behavior. I suffered terribly and cried a lot. I felt once what uncoditional love may be. That feeling was completely deproved of any desire of changing the other person, it was total giving, not draining. I felt that my heart was playing a melody of an unknown vibration. I also saw symbols, f.e. 2 spirals screwing in each other, or a petaloid. I opened up fully in front of this energy, as much as I could, because I was desperate and felt that only this hardcore, accelerated way will help me to get into the deepest part of me and heal me. I was not able to do it by myself, I needed a person who will act like a mirror and F. was a perfect mirror. It looked like this: I had a thought, than I felt how F. reflect this in his mind, saw the broader meaning of it, that the thought came back to me, and I felt how he captures his thought reflected in me. That happened very fast. I have written 70 pages of details but couldn't keep up with the data. It involved carmic relations, also between my mother and father, deep insights about my friends. Recalling vivid memories happened very often (f.e. I remembered my first falling in love - in a priest)


Here is an excerpt which in more scientific way desribes what I did. I was really happy that I could name this experience :) This is Primal Therapy invented by A.Janov I found it couple of days ago and it seems to be a psychological explanation of my experience which I triggered. I may say that it worked for me.

"Critical periods are the times when needs for love are at their maximum and must be fulfilled. The pain impressed into the system when needs are unmet during a critical period remains for a lifetime. There are no substitutes that repair the damage—not love or caring later in life, not success, not “awareness” gained through therapy, not drugs or alcohol, nor belief in God.

The only way to undo the damage is to access the neural connections that were laid down at the time of the original pain and trauma so that they can be modified. Because these neural connections include primitive regions of the brain, including those underlying basic emotions and survival functions, a cerebral talk about what happened in the past will have little effect. Instead, we must allow
ourselves to fully experience, or rather reexperience, those early painful, traumatic experiences as an adult who can tolerate the feelings.

As a general rule, the earlier in life a need goes unmet, the more devastating the later effects of deprivation will be. The closer to the “critical period” a trauma occurs, the more harmful it is. One way we can define critical period is the irreversible quality of its effects. The more time that has elapsed after a critical period has passed, the greater the force required to create an imprint. It takes a tremendous
trauma after the critical period to have a profound and lifelong effect. Why do needs go unmet? For a passel of reasons, but it is often true that parents are so immersed in their own unmet needs (with the resulting narcissism) and pain that they simply cannot attend to their child."

source:http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,32629.msg450076.html#msg450076



During merging with F. I could meet my wounded inner child and somehow got inside the burned memories in my brain. I accessed traumatic experiences and we both were transmitting love to each other in order to heal, to reprogram each other. I managed to open fully and felt but F. was not completely...

I started the thread because I wanted to find out how to confirm what energy it is/who is this. And if there is any sense of continuing the contact while it has no reflection in real life - this person does not want to talk to me . I felt that he had a big problem so there was splitting in me and I could not stand it. In other words - I managed to solve my probem (what a relief .... :) :) in my soul, at last!) I knew that F. still needs help but he blocked my in real life. He was the first one who started the telepathic contact.
I have a question to you:
You know that somebody is very ill but is telling you all the time that he is healthy. What would you believe? The feeling in your heart or the words? Would you help him?
Another important thing - if somebody really wants to die because of the illness, maybe we should not interfere with his will. Perphaps I did not respect F.'s will to block me in real world. I wanted to help him but in fact - to have him. "Help is a fair side of domination."

I think that my carmic lesson involved a problem of helping people who did not want this help. Or my help was of manipulative nature, in order to get back a dead of fallen lover from previous lives. In this life I always wanted to help men, instruct them, maybe to save them, help them to converse to good and let go or to posses them forever (depends on the intention). I had strong premonition that F. did something wrong in previous lives but in this life decided to correct his mistakes. And I tried to help him.

I have also more insights about the whole situation. Anyway, I feel that my puzzle is solved and I can go on further. But still feel sad that F. couldn'reach the state of total openess.

I had a chance to read a dozen or more pages of "Strangers to Ourselves" so far. It seems that I probably was not aware of the processes in my brain. I was able to perform practically "healing action" without preparation. Anyway, it was succesful. I feel like a tree trunk burnt inside. There is emptiness in me. I sometimes miss F. but know, that our love is unfulfilled and I must have choosen this life, in such a family, to learn something and he chose to still suffer and there is nothing I can do. :(

Now I need to have a closer look to what actually happened in my brain.



P.S. I ve been blocking myself for a week or so, but some leakage occured and I felt F. again. He learned sth from me. He noticed that I am like a steel and do not want to merge in sexual pleasure, he did the same. We were like two souls observing each other, forgiving each other.


One more question:
For how long I should stop Beatha? Any cluees?

Actually, on EE page I did not find detailed information what is chemical imbalance and what are the symptoms of it, so I was pretty sure that it is Ok for me to practise. I used some drugs during my life but stopped taking before pregnancy, which was about 3 years ago. Probably I still have a slighter chemical imbalance which may can be corrected by a diet. Do you think it is reasonable?

 

[Possibility of Being]

Anyway, I suspected that hanging around, talking with F. was my last chance to understand my problem and to solve it. I knew it would be the last time I am trying to help myself in that way. I knew I would win. F. was "proper" and information in himself would help me to solve my puzzle. I suspected that it works the other way too, he will know himself by contact with me and gain advantage. I was ready to tolerate extreme pain, suffer, burning in hell, whatever. I was ready to jump into my own abyss of unknown, like Castaneda (I know this is only a metaphore, an exercise for perception). I was 100% aware of my responsibility. I knew that I won't blame anybody but me, if something goes wrong.

Above are strong claims. Where did you know it from and what made you think that's true?

(I don't know if you had a chance to read the first story. If not, here is explanation. F. is a person with telepathic skills, a yoga practitioner working with chinese medicine, bioenergy, sexual energy called Qi, an astrologist, tarot reader, who wants to help people, he emphasized it strongly. I have never talked to him personally and never met)

"A weak telepathist", according to his own admission, as you mentioned in the other post. Yet in your mind, you credited him with quite strong psychic/telepathic power.

Our online exchange of emails with F. was rather friendly. We talked mainly about astrology, free will, religious delusions, projections, psychology, ...

And yet he felt compelled to block you on FB twice? Let's make a reality check here. We have a "teacher", F., who stops replying to your emails and blocks you on FB. He is aware of your persistent attempts to get into psychic contact with him, of using him for your auto-therapy through falling in love with him and your numerous projections based on just your "feeling". Don't you think that F., having telepathic skills as you claim, would block that psychic channel of communication as well? But despite his clear denial, you preferred to believe that he had been "visiting" you, sending you psychic messages and sexual energy. Something doesn't compute here.

My husband.
Before anything started I asked my husband: "Can I think whatever I want?" He agreed. So I started the story with F.. I was convinced that we helped each other and somehow, it was not real, non material, so there is no danger. It was only in my head.

And what answer could you expect for such a question? Of course, you can think whatever you wish. But from what you wrote in the latest one and the other post, it had gone beyond your thoughts. You claimed you'd got into a telepathic contact with F., you exchanged energies with each other, there were physical effects of that alleged contact. So, which one is true?

Looks like you are using different narratives depending on what fits best to what you're thinking/saying. If it was only in your head, there was no telepathic contact. There was no his involvement in your fantasies -- and this option seems much more likely, considering that F. denied to be in any extrasensory contact with you, blocked you on FB, cut off your online contacts, and denied anything you thought about him was true.

On the other hand, if there was that psychic contact and so on, your question was insidious and manipulative.

I talked about the F. with my husband 2 or 3 of times in a month. He was convinced that I am strong, would manage, nothing dangerous would happen and I would become happy, at last and achieve peace of mind. Simply - he trusted me.
2 days ago I asked Luke ( my husband) again if he was not hurt at that time. He repeated "No". For him nothing really dangerous happened, he felt uncomfortable for couple of times but believed in me, that I would finally get rid of my problem. I was able to deal with every day life, so that was OK for him.

Well, obviously nothing dangerous happened to him. But you seem to be perfectly okay with him feeling uncomfortable. You had his 'permission' and that's what counted to you. Never mind that you cheated on your husband daily for how long, two months? You were able to deal with everyday life and when you weren't, you could use your husband or mother to do it for you, so that you could continue cheating and 'exchanging energies' in your fantasy.

You mentioned 'a crack' in your relationship with your husband in the other post. Don't you think you've just contributed to make it bigger? Could there be a possibility that you you are real time editing a narrative of what effects your actions have? Do you care?

Here is an excerpt which in more scientific way desribes what I did. I was really happy that I could name this experience :) This is Primal Therapy invented by A.Janov I found it couple of days ago and it seems to be a psychological explanation of my experience which I triggered. I may say that it worked for me.
/snip/

source:http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,32629.msg450076.html#msg450076

Have you read the whole thread? Janov and his Primal Therapy received a lot of criticism and rightly so. It does not have a solid base in science and can be harmful. Janov himself is a person of doubtful reputation as well. You can do your own research by looking for "Janov criticism". Not everything that comes out is equally valid, but there is a lot of good and reasonable critics to learn from.

I have a question to you:
You know that somebody is very ill but is telling you all the time that he is healthy. What would you believe? The feeling in your heart or the words? Would you help him?

It would depend on a few factors the main one being if she/he was asking for help. It's hard to phatom that a person who perceives themselves healthy would ask for help. But if she/he does, then I would consider what is the source of my knowledge and how reliable it is, and what is the source of her/his knowledge. Do we have the same set of data yet come to two different conclusions? If that's the case than why is it so? What kind of help is asked for? Am I able to give exactly that and not what I 'think' would be best for him/her?

In general, there is a lot of what seems completely ungrounded claims in your posts taken for the truth. What is worrisome. you don't seem to question your 'feelings', 'intuition', your telepathic contact at all, despite serious indications that you should. You don't question your motivations and your behaviors. You just know it is what you think it is. This kind of self-assuredness and certainty usually indicates a significant lack of knowledge.

When you finish reading Strangers to Ourselves, you may have a bit better idea why it is so that we can't trust our thinking. But are you ready to acknowledge that? Or are you attached to your imagination and your own image of yourself and the world around so strong that you can't and don't want to see what's behind it?

As a side note, you've mentioned Castaneda several times. You might want to read the book The Life & Teachings of Carlos Castaneda by William Patrick Patterson. Here is a good video that can give you an idea of what it is about:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtMf_1J2tU8

 

[Laura]

Lidia, I think that with the kinds of hallucinations you have been having, you should stay away from Beatha - or the entire EE practice - for at least a year (if not forever). It would also be wise to try and get a second opinion regarding your mental condition since it seems that your psychologist may not know about your 'psychic adventures'.

 

[Lidia V.]

Possibility of Being,

I read your post couple of times and realized that I did not pay enough attention to my family during mye experience. I had a one day depression, couldn't sleep and finally cried for 2 hours. The next day I felt an urge to have one-day starvation. I apologized Luke again for my all unaware deeds which could hurt him. I apologised my son too. I paid attention to him while we were playing, as much as I could. He is only 2 years old but suddenly he looked me deeply in the eyes and stroked gently my hair. That was one of the most beautiful moments in my life (he understood that his mum is coming back ;) Luke, however, was a bit surprised and joked that now I would have to give him a foot massage every day. He is a person who does not bear a grudge against somebody for a long time. Afterwards, he seriously admitted that we hadn't been very close to each other recently and it was also his fault. We decided to forgive each other our mistakes; none of us is an angel. For him, my experience which was deprived of clear visible effects, was not of a great importance even it was a telepathic contact. I emphasize that I told him about "physical sensations", he accepted my way (however - unusual) of getting rid of my problem. Since Luke doesn't make a mountain out of a molehill, I figured out that the best thing I can do now - is trying to pay much more attention to my family life and do not "fly away".
There was also the other thing. I realized that I was manipulative and coercive, then my perception suddenly changed. It was like loooking at the vase instead of faces (at the famous picture with faces and vase: http://blog.powersof10.com/?attachment_id=7336). During the day I was constantly vigilant all the time, especially during interactions with other people. I was able to detect every manipulative behaviour in me - a thought, stop it before reaction, and then act with attention to the needs of others. It came to me naturally. The process is in progress. At the same time I am a mother, and cannot be too good, otherwise my child would climb over my head.

I'd like to answer your questions now.
You want to know why I knew I would win and I would not blame anybody but me.
I believed my inner insight and was very strongly oriented to heal myself (and F. at the same time). I believed in my own power. There was/is no time to loose. I know I would blame myself because I was aware of the choices I was making and their possible negative consequences. Me, not my husband or my parents.

About insights:
Couple of years ago there was a kind of lottery in my office. There were several voucher to win. About 10 minutes before reading the scores(results?) I had had a strong insight that I would have win a hotel voucher to...there was a 3 seconds pause.... I guessed: to Frankfurt?. Later, I heard my name among the winners. I won a voucher to Frankfurt. I did not expect that I would win.
I felt similar this time.

Fresh insight:
I have problems to obtain the books mentioned in this thread. There are no Polish translations. No results in all online library catalogues in my town. When I tried to download ebooks - I received viruses. The last chance is to buy them on amazon. The are expensive so I was considering whether to buy them or not. I sent emails to my friends (not very close friends) in the USA and UK if they can get them for me. No response. I thought "If my intention is clear - I will get that money, I don't know how but I will". I did not expect anything. And couple of days ago I received an email from an online gallery where I have my paintings for sale. I sold one painting. I will have the money to buy the books.

What were these insights according to your knowledge?

However....I will be more cautious and next time try to do external and internal consideration as much as I can.

Regarding F. - you wrote that I had credited him with quite strong psychic/telepathic power nevertheless he desribed himself as "a weak telepathist".
You probably did not take into consideration the possibility that he could have lied. And that was my feminine intuition which told me that. Since I do not have contact with him - I'll stick to the facts:

J. (who knows him personally and much longer than me) once mentioned that had interactions with F. "at a distance" and F. is a kind of "feeling seer". F. also mentioned in our correspondence that he destroyed/shattered engrams with J. at a distance. They didn't explain it in details. At the beginning of my contact on FB I received twice written direct answers from F. for questions which I asked only in my mind. Once I was lying in bed and feeling F.'s presence, my husband got up and told me that I had strong electric discharges in my head, he couldn't stand the tension and went sleep to another room. The other time I was arguing with Luke and suddenly felt F.'s love I didn''t want to quarrel more. Luke told me that he had noticed sudden change in my appearance. He asked "What happened?" I answered: "F. is helping me right now".
These are only evidences I have. Very poor, I know.

I think F. lied because he hadn't wanted me to know about his abilities because I am a nosy girl and would find his weakness. After blocking me - I was sure that he wouldn't contact me anymore. I was crying a lot and somehow felt somebody watching me while I was crying. I think that he took pity on me and decided to help me this extrasensory/nonverbal way. If this was not him - what was that?
In my opinion there are 4 options:
1.F. contacted me telepathically but made efforts to hide it from me, pretended that it was not him. I was able to see a little unloved boy inside him and he did not want me to reveal it.
2. All is my hallucinations. I divided me into 2 parts, one was asleep and activated when I badly needed help. Since I was convinced that F. could help me - it behaved as my projection of F. - carrying, loving man, sending my energy, forgiving everything, not punishing, ...
3. Both above answers are correct. It was F. one time, the other - my projection.
4. It was something else.

Here is a quotation from C's session which I found worth noticing here:

Q: (L) Next question. (Psyche) {name redacted} says:

"I sometimes have the feeling when I look at {name redacted} that I knew him from a past life, and he might have been a woman. Did {name redacted} and I have a past life together?"

A: More than one.

Q: (L) I don't think we're going to follow that. (Bubbles) Can I ask my quirky question real quick? (L) Well, wait a minute. Is there any more on {name redacted}? (Psyche) Well, she basically has more questions about advice on the relationship but it looks like the one answer covered it. So we're basically done with that. (Bubbles) Is it possible to enhance one's telepathy or psychic connection through Eiriu Eolas practice?

A: Absolutely as we have already said. Read the transcripts!

Q: (Bubbles) So would that mean that one could become more receptive to the frequency of feelings and thoughts of others?

A: SPA {See Previous Answer}

https://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,24722.msg285390.html#msg285390

"But from what you wrote in the latest one and the other post, it had gone beyond your thoughts. You claimed you'd got into a telepathic contact with F., you exchanged energies with each other, there were physical effects of that alleged contact. So, which one is true? "

Gradually, I was telling my husband what was going on. He answered once: "If this is the way F. can help you - that's fine." There were times I was sure it is F. Because I haven't had a telepathic contact in my life - I was also considering the possibility that it is my projection. The whole experience was very strange.

I have a question:
Do phenomenons, which are not confirmed by science, exist? Perhaps for some questions science has not found the answers yet?

"Have you read the whole thread? Janov and his Primal Therapy received a lot of criticism and rightly so. It does not have a solid base in science and can be harmful. Janov himself is a person of doubtful reputation as well. You can do your own research by looking for "Janov criticism". Not everything that comes out is equally valid, but there is a lot of good and reasonable critics to learn from."

I read the whole thread and knew about the critisism. What I'm trying to do - is to name the process I went through.
Do you think that a method which is criticized but it worked in some cases, is of no value? Is it possible to work out a method which brings positive results for every patient? What is the role of a patient, is it important how much a person is determined to recover (if there is no brain damage) ?

I have a question to you:
You know that somebody is very ill but is telling you all the time that he is healthy. What would you believe? The feeling in your heart or the words? Would you help him?

It would depend on a few factors the main one being if she/he was asking for help. It's hard to phatom that a person who perceives themselves healthy would ask for help. But if she/he does, then I would consider what is the source of my knowledge and how reliable it is, and what is the source of her/his knowledge. Do we have the same set of data yet come to two different conclusions? If that's the case than why is it so? What kind of help is asked for? Am I able to give exactly that and not what I 'think' would be best for him/her?

Thanks for that. What if a case would need a sudden reaction? And there was no time to answer all these questions?

"In general, there is a lot of what seems completely ungrounded claims in your posts taken for the truth. What is worrisome. you don't seem to question your 'feelings', 'intuition', your telepathic contact at all, despite serious indications that you should. You don't question your motivations and your behaviors. You just know it is what you think it is. This kind of self-assuredness and certainty usually indicates a significant lack of knowledge. "


I realized that I have a strong imagination and my level of knowledge is not very high, but I still have a will to compensate shortcomings. However, understanding of the knowledge and ability to apply it in life is of equal importance.
What I think is more important is to keep balance betweeen knowledge and understanding/being.
My translation from Polish publication In Search of the Miraculous: Fragments of an Unknown Teaching by P. D. Ouspensky , p. 98:
"Generally speaking: balance between knowledge and being is even more important than separate development of each of them. (...) Knowledge all alone does not give understanding. And understanding does not develop only through the growth of knowledge. Understanding depends on the relation between knowledge and being. Understanding is a resultant of knowledge and being. Knowledge and being cannot diverge too much because it may appear that understanding is distant from any of them."


"When you finish reading Strangers to Ourselves, you may have a bit better idea why it is so that we can't trust our thinking. But are you ready to acknowledge that? Or are you attached to your imagination and your own image of yourself and the world around so strong that you can't and don't want to see what's behind it?

I may seem stubborn but I'm also flexible.

You asked if I care.
In general - yes, I do. If I have problems - I focus on mine again.
My translation from Polish publication In Search of the Miraculous: Fragments of an Unknown Teaching by P. D. Ouspensky , p. 147 :

"In order to get to know how to help others - a man needs to learn how to be an egoist. Only a conscious egoist can help people".

This is the meaning I had in my mind while I was writing about "cleaning my own yard" first.


In general I suspect, that I'm in the middle of so called shamanic initiation. This excerpt desribes it, more or less:
(There are no comments under this article here : http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,25680.msg305554.html#msg305554 )

"The shamanic personality is very sensitive to the unconscious, both in themselves and in others. The shaman has very permeable boundaries between their conscious mind and the unconscious, as if they’ve created a bridge which allows contents between the two to easily pass through and intermingle with and reciprocally co-inform each other. The shaman’s collaborative, creative interplay between the conscious and unconscious creates a synthesis, which is a “third thing,” a new birth, a further evolution in the incarnation of a more all-embracing, integrated and expansive consciousness.

The figure of the shaman is related to both the figures of the artist (see my article “The Artist as Healer of the World”) and the wounded healer – (see my article “The Wounded Healer,” Part 1 and Part 2). The archetypal figure of the shaman is the primordial medicine person and carrier of healing. The figure of the shaman (arche)typically takes on the illness that is in the community into themselves and literally becomes sick, as if they have “caught” the disease of who they are trying to heal. This process can become animated through the choice of a seasoned shaman, or it can happen spontaneously and unintentionally in a budding shaman who is unusually sensitive to the underlying contradictions and spiritual illness that pervade the social and cultural fabric which connects us and in which we are embedded. A fully cooked shaman, in internalizing the illness in the field, allows the sickness to fluidly move through them without getting stuck in them, which is the mark that distinguishes an accomplished shaman from a novice.(...)

To again quote Laing, “Anyone in this transitional state is likely to be confused. To indicate that this confusion is a sign of illness, is a quick way to create psychosis. ..A psychiatrist who professes to be a healer of souls, but who keeps people asleep, treats them for waking up and drugs them asleep again…helps to drive them crazy.” To the extent they are projecting their own madness outside of themselves, the psychiatrists are unknowingly complicit in evoking the very madness they are hoping to cure, which is nothing other than an expression of the psychiatrists’ madness. "

I bolded parts which I consider important.

"As a side note, you've mentioned Castaneda several times. You might want to read the book The Life & Teachings of Carlos Castaneda by William Patrick Patterson. Here is a good video that can give you an idea of what it is about:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtMf_1J2tU8
[/quote]"

Thanks for that. I'm going to watch the video.
Curious detail: While I was reading Castaneda's serie - I wanted to see his face. I found it in the net and observed for a while. I thought "Hmmmm, he is not fully trustworthy, he is a kind of petty liar".

I have also found similarities in my experience to Gurdjieff's forming of the second body.
Here is a quotation, my translation from Polish publication In Search of the Miraculous: Fragments of an Unknown Teaching by P. D. Ouspensky , p. 62 :
" Fire, which is needed to achieve fusion, is obtained by "friction", which is received in man through fight between "yes" and "no". If man surrenders to all his desires, even indirectly cares about satisfying his needs, there will be no inner fight, no "friction" and no fire. But, when for achieving a definite aim, he will take up the fight with his desires, he will create fire which gradually transform his inner world into one unity".

That's my aim now ;)



Laura,
Here is an excerpt from EE site:

Disclaimer
"Bio energetic Breathing (round breathing) is contra -indicated in pregnancy, epilepsy, bi polar disorders or other chemical imbalances. All other portions of the Eíriú Eolas Breathing and Meditation system may be utilized with these conditions."

At least I can practise Three Stage Breathing, Warrior's Breath and Meditation. Or...I missed something? Regarding Beatha - I have already stopped practising this portion.

I had already set an appointment with my psychologist before I read your post, just in case. I have to wait one month for that visit. However, I do not think that she will put some light on that telepathic contact. Such things are really hard to verify and psychology does not answer all questions. Since I have already cleared the situtation with Luke, I wonder if the visit is really necessary, there are people with more severe problems than mine. However, I'll go for that visit and see.



Thank you for your remarks