Hey everyone,
I wanted to share with you all, last night as I got home from work, I found one of my pups laying on the floor unable to move. From the looks of it, he had fallen from the couch, something rather uncharacteristic as he had steps to get up and down and he had been using them for a very long time. He was 11 years old and had been dealing with seizures for a few years, he had experienced a bad injury in one of his front elbows which took him a long time to recover from. Had slowed down a lot and was loosing his hair, didn't deal very well with heat or cold.
I took him to the vet, when I got there after an exam the doctor told me that the most concerning thing wasn't the injury itself, which would require surgery to address, and probably a plate and screws, but that he wasn't responding to his injury in the way she would expect him to. I have been taking him there for years and after discussing his history of health issues, she mentioned that we could go through the entire procedure and he might recover a while down the road, but that the process of getting him to recovery would be very strenuous on him, and that I should consider if it would be worth it to do so.
I thought about it, I realized that going through all the procedures and recovery would be immensely stressful for him, I saw him recover from his last injury and it was a long and painful process. So I made an extremely difficult decision and decided it was better to let him go.
It was extremely painful, I felt like I was giving up on him, something he'd never do.. .not even in his old age would he stop himself from trying to protect me, I felt like it was my fault as I could've not let him up on the couch. But seeing him in his last moments, with a blank calm stare despite his injury, struggling to breathe helped me realize that he was maybe asking to be allowed to pass.
The last few weeks of his life, he started to do something he hadn't done since he was a puppy, follow me everywhere, even though it was quite the effort for him to do so. He became playful and asked for attention more often, wanted to be on my lap and laid down on my feet. Thinking about it now, it was a sweet way to have a few weeks of warmth, like a very long goodbye hug.
Hero was a sweet and gentle friend, he was rather selective about the people he trusted and I feel very fortunate to have met him and earned his trust. I feel his absence, even though he was a quiet and slow at the end. My other dog, which is about the same age, felt his absence immediately, has been running around the house looking for him, and staring at me. He has been laying down in Hero's spot and seems extra anxious. So I guess we're both going through grieving process.
I tried my best to give Hero a good life and I hope to have accomplished this. I attached two pictures of him, taken about 11 years apart.
Thank you all for reading.
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