Hello Davey. I don't have much to say but I would urge you to listen to the experienced members of this forum, they can really advise you on the best plan of action for moving forward with your life. It sounds like a cliche (it did to me, until now), this concept of moving forward, because so many people use it in a glib sense in our society. But it truly makes sense, because it is developing the will, the drive, to move beyond the state of stagnation and atrophy.
I have been there too, not in the same circumstances as you, but the state of addiction, and the narrowing of one's consciousness that comes with it, can be devastating when you finally realise what a state it has gotten you into. In my own way I am fighting this battle now, and truly it requires will and vigilance, discipline, and yes, a spiritual aim. For me that aim is spiritual healing.
This quote from Gonzo is a beautifully illustrative of the battle of wills. Thank you Gonzo, this is one of the best pieces of information that I have ever read!
I think this could help so many people in so many individual cases, fantastic!
Gonzo said:
There's the 2 brain concept that says whenever we have a craving, the brain the wants to indulge grows at the expense of the rational, will based brain. If, however, one does not give in, the rational brain grows. Imagine if one has experienced years and years of giving into impulse and desire. The other brain is so atrophied that it can barely put up a fight. This explains why will power is so lacking when some of us need it the most. It just is so tiny, it can't fight. Therefore, one needs to grow that brain and shrink the other by refusing to give in to impulses. One could easily start with simpler impulses by purposefully placing oneself around minor temptation and resisting giving in. This helps build the rational, will power side.
These are real words of wisdom Davey, I reckon they can inspire you on your journey.
Beautiful, a perfect distillation of the truth (Thanks again Gonzo, you're a diamond! :))
Like others have mentioned here, I can only add my endorsement to the EE breathing/meditation program. I have only made marginal progress, but it is well worth sticking with it. Take it gradually and build from there. Learn how to relax your body and your mind, and maybe even discover yourself anew.
Davey, I can only encourage you to do the very best you can for your healing and rehab, with will, patience and courage. I wish you the very best, and good luck to you! :)