I'd like to join in sharing some of my weird experiences.
The first is the one I remember the least about, as I was fairly young. Neither I nor my mom can remember precisely when it happend, but I was less than 10 years old, maybe 7-8. One day I remember noticing a red mark on the side of my chest, extending on my back, like a very elongated handprint. My mom remembers seeing it too. According to her I lamented the fact that it kind of burned and "maybe" (she's not entirely sure somehow) told her about a nightmare I had about some kind of demon grabbing me. I honestly can't remember neither the nightmare nor the burning sensation, but I clearly remember the mark looked like a hand with abnormally long fingers.
In the same time period I also remember being really scared of a certain room of the apartment where we lived. Mind you, I attribute this to a simple infantile fear. My mom used that room as a sort of junk room, so it was always closed and dark and messy, but I remember "hallucinating" the handle slowly lowering and the door kind of opening and closing slightly on more than one occasion. The visual was kind of distorted too, but that may be attributed to me fixating my sight on the handle for an extended priod of time (you know how the visuals start distorting and you start seeing a sort of aura around things).
(addendum: now that I think about it, there is one presumably unrelated strange dream that I remember from those years, about my face coming off, almost like a thick mask, revealing the flesh and sinew underneath.. Wonder where
that would come from, for a young kid)
Then I remember a couple of years later, in a new apartment, I often felt observed by something I couldn't see and sometimes even saw a dark shape moving from the corner of my eye. I remember at some point I even drew an eye surrounded by darkness or smoke or something like that, on a piece of paper. The building was new by the way, so definitely no ghosts of former tenants. Seems the feeling vanished at some point. There are still times when I feel observed or in the presence of something invisible, but nowadays it tends to happen only when some external influence, something I've read or watched, influences my train of thoughts, a rather common experience I'd wager.
A few years later still, there was an interesting episode. I was taking an afternoon nap and had a very peculiar dream. In the dream I was right there in my room, but standing still rather than lying on the bed, and the door was open instead of being closed. I felt an invisible presence entering the room through the open door. The presence didn't feel threatening at all, in fact it felt quite benevolent, like it wanted to embrace me, hug me, but I got scared and kind of "pushed back" mentally (I also used to have a lot of dreams where I could move things or even move myself with my mind, so it wasn't that strange of a feeling), and the dream ended. As I woke up, my mother knocked on the door and came in to tell me that my dad had just called her to announce that a relative had died. This relative (an older man) was also named Carlo, like me, but I had only seen him once or twice in my life. At the time I rationalized it thinking that I might have subconsciously heard my mother's side of the conversation and dreamed about it. Possible, but.. seems a bit unlikely in retrospect.
The next one is not
exactly paranormal, but the timing and the situation are too absurd to consider this normal. It's also a bit.. Shameful. But hey, what can I say, I was a weird and edgy teen lost in his hormones and emotions
So, I had this terrible crush / unrequited love for a very close straight friend. This used to be a recurring theme in my life and a source of much heartache, a big weakness, so to speak.. But let's not get sidetracked.
I was very intrigued by the vedic texts at the time. I had also convinced myself that if I proved to be a strong and brave and reliable mate then this guy would somehow end up interested in me... Put the two things together and you'll find me praying to some unknow vedic deity of strength and war and whatnot for a chance to prove myself.. It's incredibly embarassing (and foolish) to remember
No more than a couple of days later we, along with 3 other friends, go out to drink something (one of us was 18). Out of nowhere we find ourselves in an parking lot surrounded by a small mob of young men (some armed with pipes) looking for.. trouble? I'm not entirely sure how the situation came to be, it was very much out of the blue. Also we lived in a fairly small and tranquil provincial city where such a thing was pretty much unheard of and it wasn't particularly late either. Thankfully most of us were able to keep calm and defuse the situation before it could degenerate. The synchroniciy seems kind of undeniable to me. And a good lesson to remember: careful what you wish for, because something out there might actually decide to listen.
(this would also be, give or take a couple of years, the period in which I had a truly dreadful dark man dream,, which I wrote about many years ago. The only one so intense that it left me terrified of opening my eyes after waking up, sensing some horrible, deadly presence close by)
A
somewhat similar situation happened a few years later still. One day my mother opened up with me, telling me how she was feeling a bit depressed, useless, like she didn't have much of a purpose in life. We talked about it and I did my best to show her that she was loved and appreciated and far from useless or without purpose. But then, my own mental situation was already abysmal at the time so it wasn't easy for me to openly share my own feelings or effectively cheer up another, I think.
So, later that night, I earnestly prayed to the DMC (yes, the period of, shall we call it, "religious or spiritual promiscuity" had long since come to an end) to help my mother, if possible and appropriate, to find her purpose and meaning to life.
No more than a couple of days later my grandmother (my mother's mother), fell and broke her leg. And so my mom no longer had a chance to feel useless for a very long time, as she had to constantly care for her infirm mother (who had already fallen victim to a stroke and was growing increasingly "absent" and non self sufficient, unfortunately). After sharing this detail with her, my mother jokingly asked me to refrain from praying for her for a while..
There may be a lesson here as well: maybe do everything YOU can do before going around asking for direct help from the universe.
The next strange situation happened maybe 8-9 years ago. I was reading (or maybe just finished) Malachi Martin's Hostage to the Devil. I found myself imagining what it would be like to be in the shoes of an exorcist, specifically focusing on the "clashing of wills" described in the book. What it would feel like, clearly sensing one's own will clashing against that of a negative entity. As I kept focusing on that sensation, I remember starting to feel a certain reaction within, like a pressure (particularly in my forehead), a strange kind of inner strength and focus. That's when one of my cats (we had two at the time) came running from another room (this is a different apartment from the previous ones, and it's the one where I currently reside). She quickly jumped on the sofa next to me and I noticed she was trembling and staring fearfully in the direction of the hallway and the other rooms of the apartment (or possibly the apartment's door, they're all in the same direction) . Never seen her tremble before or since, except at the vet. Took a while to calm her down too. I went to check the other rooms but noticed nothing out of the ordinary. Our other cat was in the bathroom with my mother, neither of them seemed to notice anything strange either.
Ever since that moment I have deliberately stopped myself from entering that particular state of mind whenever I felt somewhat close to it, in fear of attracting "attention" to myself, and eventually "forgot" what exactly it felt like or how to "access" it. Lately I've been having doubts in this regard. If there is, in fact, some negative entity or energy somewhere around, one might as well bring it to the fore and deal with it, no?
The last experience is perhaps more spritual than paranormal, but.. Not entirely beyond the scope of this thread I think? I've been meaning to talk about it for a while and this seems like a good moment. It could be moved elsewhere if it is advisable.
As I was saying in a couple of other thread, I've been in a very dark place mentally for many years and in many different ways. At the end of June / beginning of July, after a particularly crushing month, and a couple of nights after meditating with a seed of "freedom" (specifically "freedom from the limitations of 3rd density physicality", if I must be precise) I had the weirdest experience to date.
I woke up in the middle of the night and, for lack of a better explanation, it felt as if I had "two minds" at the same time. I have no frame of reference to explain it fully, but it was like there were two different, opposites parts of me thinking at the same time. One was having very positive, loving thoughts, while the other was
desperately trying to inject terrible darkness and negativity into them. Neither viewpoint was new to me, I have experienced both throughout my life, and in that moment I could clearly identfy with both of them at once, experiencing both fully. The really interesting part was how the "positive" side was staunchly resisting and rejecting these attempted changes, choosing to have a different experience, and how the "negative" side was genuinely scared. There was an awareness that, if it failed to take over, it would just cease to be. I'm sure I was awake, but the entire experience felt very strange, almost "dreamlike" in a sense. Eventually I fell asleep again.
And as I woke up I realized that I felt better than I had in a really long time.. What's even stranger is that I didn't fully "remember" this experience for a few days, I couldn't really focus on it.
Ever since that day everything about me seems to be changing at a fairly accelerated rate. Indeed it feels like a very unpleasant part of me ceased to be that night. It's not like I now think of myself as some kind of enlighened and pure angel or a paragon of positivity or a willful warrior, mind you, I'm still very far from any of that. But
comparatively.. The negativity I experienced in my mind and heart is pretty much gone in certain respects and greatly diminished in others. Hypotheses abound about what might have happened, from "hyperkinetic sensate", to an eclipsing of realities, a spirit release or self exorcism of sorts, a partial soul smashing, divine intervention even, but.. I really don't know.
Man, life is weird
I feel like it's sort of noise as none of it can be substantiated, but maybe other members have similar experiences. The more I talk about it with people who I don't think would be receptive in the "normal" world - the more I find many people want to talk about that kind of thing.
Seriously though that looks like a girl that will tackle any problem. She is beautiful and her eyes say she loves the outdoors.
