I had a lot to do with materialization. Probably also earlier, but maybe for now I will share my first evident story that triggered a lot of emotions.
I have been collecting ponies since I was 5 years old. Today my collection has almost 2,000 ponies. However, they were never ordinary objects for me, but I had a kind of affection and sentiment towards them. Sometimes it felt as if I had poured a part of my soul into them. Strange things often happened with them. They moved around in the absence of anyone etc., but the strangest story began when I was 10 years old.
Around Christmas, I had a dream about two stars falling from the Christmas tree. When I woke up, these two stars fell off it in front of my eyes. Despite the logical non-obviousness, it was intuitively obvious to me that two of my ponies would be lost.
Shortly thereafter, I noticed that I did indeed miss two ponies. At that time, it was the end of the world for me. I bought both of these ponies during my last holiday in France. They were extremely valuable to me. I have never despaired of anything before. It was the first time in my life. The matter seemed even more serious to me when I couldn't stop crying for the next few days.
After a few days, however, I began to change my mindset. I started praying for these lost ponies to be back because they were very important to me. With all this, I treated them like living creatures. I asked them to be happy, even if they never came back to me. I also asked that all information about them be kept. I didn't want any new replacement pony. All I wanted was the ones I had lost, though I know these emotions are usually alien to most children.
After two weeks, there was a moment where I felt that I was giving up. But I didn't give up in this negative sense, I just felt that I was giving the matter over to something higher.
Today I would call it a letting go. I decided to stand on my hands (I was practicing sports acrobatics then). I stood on my hands, looked at the shelf, for a moment it was brighter all over the room, and I saw that one of the missing ponies had returned to the shelf in front of me. It was something absolutely special for me. These were no longer just visions that were even confirmed in reality, but a real meeting of physics and metaphysics.
I had to wait 15 years for the return of the second pony. In the meantime, many unusual situations have happened in my life, but it has never been that I would not be missing. This lack has always been with me. For whatever was lost, I would never be able to forget it.
When I was a child, I thought an adult was more rational and less sensitive. I thought that as an adult I would be fully rational and I would forget about my childhood dreams forever. Nothing like that happened. When I was 25, I could cry over a pony that was lost 15 years earlier. And the day after such a desperate evening, my request was granted.
It was one of the most beautiful moments for me at that time. Back then, I graduated from university, I had a job, but nothing was as important to me as what I loved so much in my childhood.
On the same day, I had a meeting to write a medical science publication, but I was so excited about what happened that it totally outweighed everything else.
I think that this sentimentalism has remained with me to this day. I am only able to enjoy what I really love. That's why I'm working on developing theories about time and consciousness, and only then can I be happy. These are also my childhood dreams.