pornography

[myth]

I have been fighting a porn addition for about two years and have recently made some progress.
I was wondering what the forums consensus on is pornography/hentai and if anyone has also had a battle with this beast.
Not okay? Its okay? Okay with restraint?(i still do struggle with it myself)

"the level of being of a man attracts his life."

If i am addicted to porn, my everyday thinking is influenced by pornography. If i see a girl i immediately substitute her with a sex object: where i am a male actor in a porn film that began to run in my mind and she is a sex puppet and of course she is enjoying the porn i give to her, just as i saw the actors faking or do really are enjoying themselves in pornographic materials on the web.

Porn addiction has to be a secondary personage inside the addicts mind, i think. Usually younger than the persons real age, immature.

If the porn-addict is persuasive enough, i think, he can make the girl believe that the sexual act is a love act. Nothing could be farther from the truth however.

Making love should be real-love in the making, but in reality [in this case], it is an imitation of pornography performed by the porn-addict and his persuaded partner. The girl could believe for many months or couple of years that she is loved, by the proof that the porn-addict is willing to engage in sexual activity with her, which she interprets that the porn-addict loves her. The porn-addict however is incapable to love: he doesn't know what love is, has not been taught about real Love, has no concept, does not grok, don't understand, incapable to express, hasn't the faintest clue what Love is.

This is the real tragedy here. Inability to understand real love. By extension a porn addict cannot - i think - give love, he/she cannot make real love:

In short: a porn addict is not capable of feeling real love during the sexual act, therefore the sexual act becomes pornography performed by the porn-addict and her persuaded girlfriend.

The ring of truth in this breaks my heart -open

Very true.
(almost cried!)

 

[cubbex]

Well I had the struggle, I did not take most of the post about pornography that says you should eat soy or whatever, but I took the part about barin reactions.

I remember that every time I masturbate myself it was because to leave stress, to kind of feel out of those things in my life that didn't give me a single breath.

In a way I thought it was wrong to masturbate, I could use it to write some story or create whatever thing. But... well I was other man.

 

[Mayb]

Question to porn additcts ? Does this addiction might develop to different sexual inversions or perversions? Or it stays in the same level?
Does watching one type of pornography can be " bornig" in some moment and the addict have need to go further, watch or enjoy in some deviant type of behaving.
Im not saying that pornografy can be divided on more or less normal but we all no that there is a plenty of sick content in internet or video material.
And I think that porn addiction might mean lots of different things , addition to gowth male female porn , homosexual or takes additct to some deviant types pedofilya , zoofiliya?

 

[Rauno]

I can be defined as a porn addict. My usual pattern of behavior, when engaging in those activities is structurally very simple. That is, I am constantly patching-up and re-plastering myself.

Let's say, I have been good and haven't watched porn and masturbated for ten days. I feel generally good; I start to need less sleep; I can understand complex things that I read; when I look at the mirror, its nice to see myself, I feel really new connections taking place in my brain ... But then, somehow I watch porn and masturbate again - sometimes two times in succession, sometimes five, sometimes let's say fifteen times in three days. And guess what happens? I feel numb again; retracted from life, lacking energy; I cannot understand anything I read; I just look at the mirror to see how awful I look etc.

And then again I integrate myself slowly, with the help of sport and bodywork techniques; standing on my head and spinning; eating raw egg yolks and bee pollen and spirulina. And I slowly start to be interested in life again ... But then, somehow I watch porn and masturbate again ... and then I may have some shorter or longer resting period from porn and masturbation and I say to myself that I am not going to watch porn and masturbate again; and in fact I was able to do it for six months. But then, somehow I just looked for a moment to some porn - and my whole system FELT AND KNEW - this [porn] is the greatest thing that you have ever experienced - so let's do it. Because it's really so - that if you stay quite a long time away from porn - the mightier it feels when you are back.

After six months of porn-free life and than again being defeated by addiction I have repeated this same aforementioned pattern of energy loss and regaining it back, for about a year.

Question to porn additcts ? Does this addiction might develop to different sexual inversions or perversions? Or it stays in the same level?
Does watching one type of pornography can be " bornig" in some moment and the addict have need to go further, watch or enjoy in some deviant type of behaving.

The "experts" on porn addiction say that, YES, it usually branches out into different manifestations, including all those -filyas. Because your brain just gets bored off the same "heterosexual stuff". In my case I rather started look out how to amplify my experience. With a plant nicknamed Mary-Jane. And I dreamed about 40 inch HDTV. And it can branch out into real life also. In some moment you get bored of porn and you want a "real thing".

 

[dannybananny]

In short: a porn addict is not capable of feeling real love during the sexual act, therefore the sexual act becomes pornography performed by the porn-addict and her persuaded girlfriend.

It depends from situation to situation, but the most people aren't capable of "feeling" real love, the question is if the real lover is feeling like we understand it, they feel "love", that is pleasure, and that's why they do it in the first place, there's no much difference between addict and normal guy, just addict wants more of it and more sensation while normal guy wants more hearth feeling to feel good.

 

[Skipling]

Like so many things in our society, porn is a drug that will slowly suck the heart out of your life, and your day to day experiences. There is no real feeling involved in it, it is a pure chemical rush, so is probably similar to cocaine use in that regard.

Notice how the use of both of those substances has gone through the roof in the last decade, and have leaked slowly and deliberately into modern society to the point where they are now considered normal, even virile.

The bottom line is, what the hell has it got to do with any expression of love? To believe that it is anything even remotely similar is pure illusion.

Plus there is the matter of all that sexual energy (LIFE FORCE) being drained away from the body to.......the enemy in the ether?

Emotionally speaking, it's not that far from being the antichrist.

And this is not preaching, I know all too well the grimness of this addiction.

All I can say to any addict is to give up, go cold turkey, and strive to understand yourself from the ground (sexual centre) up. Think about your feelings, rather than merely react to them.

 

[myth]

All I can say to any addict is to give up, go cold turkey, and strive to understand yourself from the ground (sexual centre) up. Think about your feelings, rather than merely react to them.

I agree but doesnt the ground up start with the root "chakra?

 

[Skipling]

I agree but doesnt the ground up start with the root "chakra?

Maybe someone more knowledgeable can elucidate here? I am not that knowledgeable on the subject myself. Still striving and learning.

 

[Dorothy Minder]

Perhaps it would help some of the people here struggling with porn habits to consider not just themselves and their own reasons for using porn, but to meditate on the whole system of porn production and consumption. Think of the actors, many of them victims of trauma or molestation. Think of the drugs and exploitation that enable these "fantasies." Think of pornography's frequent links to organized crime, sometimes including sexual slavery. And, finally, think about the adolescents (boys and girls both) who will enter sexual maturity with porn as their user's guide.

Know that when you indulge the habit, you are complicit.

You may watch porn regularly, but when you really SEE it, you'll quit for good.

 

[mada85]

I would also say that a good idea, if one cannot go cold turkey, is to introduce some 'medicine' into the system, 'medicine' that comes from and connects one to a higher world. EE is perfect for this. And after some time of taking the 'medicine' one will have to make a choice. It would perhaps be better to say that many times the person will have to make a choice, and each time, if the person is inwardly attentive, they will see the results of their choice - whether they have chosen for life (the higher world), or for death (pornography). And each choice for life leads to a strengthening of one's will, until choices for life become easier. But the essentials are: taking one's 'medicine' regularly; self-observation; and knowledge.

 

[rise]

Perhaps it would help some of the people here struggling with porn habits to consider not just themselves and their own reasons for using porn, but to meditate on the whole system of porn production and consumption. Think of the actors, many of them victims of trauma or molestation. Think of the drugs and exploitation that enable these "fantasies." Think of pornography's frequent links to organized crime, sometimes including sexual slavery. And, finally, think about the adolescents (boys and girls both) who will enter sexual maturity with porn as their user's guide.

Know that when you indulge the habit, you are complicit.

You may watch porn regularly, but when you really SEE it, you'll quit for good.

Thank you for this. For me at least it seems necessary to realize that like most other issues/programs/problems there are always more implications than just yourself.

 

[Dorothy Minder]

it seems necessary to realize that like most other issues/programs/problems there are always more implications than just yourself.

Exactly. Some of us see some of the implications in some of the issues/programs/problems better than others, but we all have our blind-spots. And that's why we're here, to give each other context. We may all have flawed instruments, but when we get together, we can take each other's measure and triangulate on Truth.

Take care!

 

[monotonic]

Maybe it has to do with a delayed gratification thing? IE, you get aroused and then you just can't wait. Reminds me of that article about delayed gratification and intelligence, giving kids marshmallows.

I find that if I try to fight it it turns into a really big distraction. Possibly because it is a positive feedback loop. IE, get aroused, and it feels good. It feels good, so I get aroused. And so on. Thoughts poke in. And the psychological state and hormone secretions just grow and grow, and the way of thinking changes. If I recall, there used to be a condition known as "masturbatory mania". Once this happens I can either deliberately calm myself down (pipe breaths) or I can indulge. Usually the latter since I haven't before had a reason not to.

Noun

* S: (n) mania, passion, cacoethes (an irrational but irresistible motive for a belief or action)

From _http://wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=mania

So three things:

1: how does the process start, what kind of thinking to avoid.
2: how does the process grow, how to stop the feedback loop. (being aware of one's thinking process, The Work?)
3: how do the chemicals overpower clear thought and what can one do to reclaim a clear mind (apart from indulging, if one's goal is to not "give in"). (Pipe breaths?)

I don't have a clue as to the first one. I remember a transcript from the C's, about unselfishness. Something along the lines of "feel the grass at your feet but don't roll in it" (I remember something about wheat? Laura asked about STO or unselfishness, gah my memory)

If I could find that transcript, I'd pull it up for context.

 

[koin]

I can be defined as a porn addict. My usual pattern of behavior, when engaging in those activities is structurally very simple. That is, I am constantly patching-up and re-plastering myself.

This I can relate to as I have been struggling with this for quite some time, the post explains quite well the battle. The reply's here have been very insightful.

So three things:

1: how does the process start, what kind of thinking to avoid.
2: how does the process grow, how to stop the feedback loop. (being aware of one's thinking process, The Work?)
3: how do the chemicals overpower clear thought and what can one do to reclaim a clear mind (apart from indulging, if one's goal is to not "give in"). (Pipe breaths?)

I think it will be beneficial for me in the next week to run a experiment with myself. Perhaps using a journal when the process starts, this may lead me to an answer for #1.

#2 In my experience, it boils down to wishful thinking and images in the mind (predators mind) linked to the "feel good" sensation. As mentioned by the C's, this was the first trick when they said to our STO past; "you can have... this!" Giving into physicality before it became an addiction and therefor STS.

#3 This is the hard part. I'm going to try several things and find out what works best for me.

Thanks for the new perspectives on this difficult subject.

 

[myth]

I would also say that a good idea, if one cannot go cold turkey, is to introduce some 'medicine' into the system, 'medicine' that comes from and connects one to a higher world. EE is perfect for this.

What is EE?

This has been a very insightful thread thank you all. ;)